• Please Remember: Members are only permitted to share their own experiences. Members are not qualified to give medical advice. Additionally, everyone manages their health differently. Please be respectful of other people's opinions about their own diabetes management.
  • We seem to be having technical difficulties with new user accounts. If you are trying to register please check your Spam or Junk folder for your confirmation email. If you still haven't received a confirmation email, please reach out to our support inbox: support.forum@diabetes.org.uk

Parent of 17 Yr old type 1 refusing insulin

Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
SB2015 said:
Sorry that is not a possible avenue, and not sure what else to suggest.
Click to expand...
I know sorry, probably seems like I'm being really negative but there's no easy answers. Thanks for trying.
 
Hi Meeshy

Im sorry to see what a worrying and tricky time you’re having.

I did go through my teenage years with diabetes. I didn’t have and major issues, thankfully, but even now if I do a test or swipe my Libre sensor and my husband asks, usually just in passing, what the result is I do feel like I’m being checked up on and I don’t like it...ridiculous, I know he’s only asking out of interest. Teenage years can be difficult before you add diabetes to the mix. I have had teenagers and appreciate the delicate line that often has to be walked. No teenagers like being told what to do, actually none of us do, do we, even if it’s in our best interests.

I wonder if you’ve thought about writing your daughter a letter. I have a friend who did this with her teenage daughter, not diabetic, other issues, who went through a difficult time and was impossible to talk to and help.

Tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her and how you’ll always be there for her. Tell her you can’t help worrying, it’s what parents are wired to do...we just can’t help it (it’s in the “mother’s manual”🙂). Perhaps not mentioning any of the diabetes related things she has to do. Encourage her to lead the way.

I guess she’s scared and overwhelmed and a 17 year old brain no doubt finds this difficult to process.

Anyway, I’m sure she already knows all this. Best of luck. X
 
Hi Meeshy, welcome to the forum. Although it might not seem like it at the moment, you are doing a fantastic job. A lot of parents would have given up by now.

I know your daughter isn’t giving herself insulin at the moment, but is she even testing her BG? There is no getting around it, she is probably dangerously high by now if she hasn’t had insulin for four days. It may be that her hypo experiences have given her psychological issues. My daughter had a traumatic diagnosis which left its mental scars on her. She had some sessions with the psychologist attached to the hospital team which seemed to help. She wasn’t very talkative either in terms of her diabetes. She hated talking about it (still does, actually), but she did talk to the psychologist in a way she wouldn’t talk to me and my wife about it. Maybe your daughter would consider this.

Has anyone suggested going on a pump instead of injections? Yes, it means something is attached to her all the time, but it takes away the need to inject multiple times a day. Both of my children have a pump and they much prefer it, they don’t really notice it’s on them most of the time. A pump gives them more flexibility in their everyday lives and diabetes doesn’t interrupt so much.

Hopefully, once her boyfriend returns, she will be more receptive to looking after herself again.

Take care and stay strong.
 
Well, it is a relief to hear that her boyfriend and his parents know about her condition and they are good, responsible people. Hopefully he will encourage her to get back on track. You have received some good advice from others more experienced with your issues than I, so will just wish you well and hope you are able to post a more positive update soon.
 
Hi Meeshy

Sorry to hear about this. T1 at any age is an absolute pain but as a teenager with all the other things going on it can be especially difficult. I was diagnosed around the same age as your daughter but concentrating on my exams I just accepted it without giving it too much thought. At the back of my mind was how ill I'd been at diagnosis (I nearly died) and not wanting to feel that ill again. I still had my rebellious phase in my 20's!! I've got my own children now - one a teenager, (neither has T1 but one has suffered with mental health issues) so I can understand how you're feeling. Although your daughter has said she doesn't like her DSN often the DSN's are the best point of contact. They will have seen things like this countless times before. Is there any way you can speak to them yourself? I remember my Mum speaking to my DSN. They should be able to offer support or at least refer your daughter if it means involving other types of healthcare staff. Good luck and let us know how she and you are getting on.
 
Hello! This sounds soooo tough for both of you. I find it difficult to beleive that your daughter doesn't understand the theory of what she is doing to her body or the dangers of any of this. It sounds as though she's been told lots of times and is overwhelmed by being continually reminded.

I suspect that the more she hears this point, the more trapped she feels and the more she wants to get away. So a message saying 'if I pretend to accept your decision and we don't mention diabetes, can we meet?' Might be a good way of breaking the cycle and getting to keep an eye on her. However, this relies on you not mentioning diabetes when/ if you see her.

It sounds as though the decision to accept treatment has to come from her and that sounds desperately hard for you. I hope for both of you that some of the professionals involved can get through and I hope this includes mental health professionals.

As a type I D myself, life can still be awesome. The lives being lived by some of the people in this group are tremendous; Diabetes isn't so terrible. They should profile lives enjoyed by different T1 Ds so that people can appreciate this. But helping someone to realise this can be hard.
 
Last edited:
Are there any teenage diabetes forums she could join. I do not think any amount of encourgement, chat, advice, etc. given by adults will have any effect whatsoever. My teenage grand daughter never listens to her parents advice, but she goes on social media, asks all her friends, and what they say goes. Fortunately so far her friends have wisely come up with the same reasoning as her parents.
 
@Meeshy - Roughly where are you in the country? In my area there are couple of excellent gropups for young people living with diabetes, and importantly, for their parents too. Parents can go with or without the young person, just for some parent to parent support.

I know not everywhere has these groups, but there are a few around.

Would your daughter join an online community for those living with diabetes, where she might find some peer support?

(I'm not suggesting you reveal your town, but maybe the county/city you live in?)
 
Really sorry to read of you and your daughters situation it must be a real worry for you and I hope this can be sorted some how.

I would be tempted to talk to the doctor myself although, patient confidentiality may restrict the doctor he might be able to suggest another avenue such as you talking to a mental health team and see how they could become involved.

I am sure your daughter will be thankful if you can get this sorted for her - she might not show her thanks though. My daughter was a teenager once so I know all about mood swings.

Take Care
Rob x
 
Lisa66 said:
Hi Meeshy

Im sorry to see what a worrying and tricky time you’re having.

I did go through my teenage years with diabetes. I didn’t have and major issues, thankfully, but even now if I do a test or swipe my Libre sensor and my husband asks, usually just in passing, what the result is I do feel like I’m being checked up on and I don’t like it...ridiculous, I know he’s only asking out of interest. Teenage years can be difficult before you add diabetes to the mix. I have had teenagers and appreciate the delicate line that often has to be walked. No teenagers like being told what to do, actually none of us do, do we, even if it’s in our best interests.

I wonder if you’ve thought about writing your daughter a letter. I have a friend who did this with her teenage daughter, not diabetic, other issues, who went through a difficult time and was impossible to talk to and help.

Tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her and how you’ll always be there for her. Tell her you can’t help worrying, it’s what parents are wired to do...we just can’t help it (it’s in the “mother’s manual”🙂). Perhaps not mentioning any of the diabetes related things she has to do. Encourage her to lead the way.

I guess she’s scared and overwhelmed and a 17 year old brain no doubt finds this difficult to process.

Anyway, I’m sure she already knows all this. Best of luck. X
Click to expand...
Hi, thank you for your reply. That sounds like a really good idea because I certainly can't talk to her without her turning it into a confrontation.. Thanks.
 
Bronco Billy said:
Hi Meeshy, welcome to the forum. Although it might not seem like it at the moment, you are doing a fantastic job. A lot of parents would have given up by now.

I know your daughter isn’t giving herself insulin at the moment, but is she even testing her BG? There is no getting around it, she is probably dangerously high by now if she hasn’t had insulin for four days. It may be that her hypo experiences have given her psychological issues. My daughter had a traumatic diagnosis which left its mental scars on her. She had some sessions with the psychologist attached to the hospital team which seemed to help. She wasn’t very talkative either in terms of her diabetes. She hated talking about it (still does, actually), but she did talk to the psychologist in a way she wouldn’t talk to me and my wife about it. Maybe your daughter would consider this.

Has anyone suggested going on a pump instead of injections? Yes, it means something is attached to her all the time, but it takes away the need to inject multiple times a day. Both of my children have a pump and they much prefer it, they don’t really notice it’s on them most of the time. A pump gives them more flexibility in their everyday lives and diabetes doesn’t interrupt so much.

Hopefully, once her boyfriend returns, she will be more receptive to looking after herself again.

Take care and stay strong.
Click to expand...
Hi bronco Billy,
Thanks so much for your kind words. She has been testing with her freestyle since her boyfriend came back which is a massive step forward but has only injected insulin twice in the last 2 days, which is better than nothing but still no where near what she should be having. I would love to look into the pump for her but as yet she's still not engaging with any medical staff and hasn't spoke to a nurse or doctor. I'm hoping that she will eventually increase the Injections and then maybe start talking. I just have to wait I think, she's still not talking to me.. I definitely think she nedds to see a psychologist but this hasn't been offered the doctor just said to her 'well you just have to inject' then told her 'you don't look unwell' absolutely unbelievable.. This forum had offered me more support and advice than the diabetic nurse or GP. Thanks again.
 
AndBreathe said:
@Meeshy - Roughly where are you in the country? In my area there are couple of excellent gropups for young people living with diabetes, and importantly, for their parents too. Parents can go with or without the young person, just for some parent to parent support.

I know not everywhere has these groups, but there are a few around.

Would your daughter join an online community for those living with diabetes, where she might find some peer support?

(I'm not suggesting you reveal your town, but maybe the county/city you live in?)
Click to expand...
Hi there,
No she definitely won't join anything or speak to anyone that's half the problem. I'm in Bristol. Thanks.
 
Bronco Billy said:
@Meeshy How are things now?
Click to expand...
Hi there,
She's still at her boyfriends but won't speak to me. She did text to ask me to bring her a new freestyle sensor, so that's a really big step.. She didn't really speak to me I just asked how she was, she said fine and thanked me for the sensor and went back in. It took every ounce of self control not to ask about her levels or insulin but I did it! That was last night haven't heard from her since. It's difficult but I actually feel better now I have people to talk to who understand thank you
 
Hi Meeshy. You are more than welcome, it’s why we are here Sometimes these things move forward in small steps. The important thing is they are moving in the right direction. Have you asked her boyfriend about what discussions the two of them have had about it? If you wait to be offered psychiatric support to be offered, it’s unlikely to be. I’m afraid you will need to take the initiative and ask. Take care.
 
Bronco Billy said:
Hi Meeshy. You are more than welcome, it’s why we are here Sometimes these things move forward in small steps. The important thing is they are moving in the right direction. Have you asked her boyfriend about what discussions the two of them have had about it? If you wait to be offered psychiatric support to be offered, it’s unlikely to be. I’m afraid you will need to take the initiative and ask. Take care.
Click to expand...
Oh I see.. Thanks.
 
I think its an awesome sign that she's asked for a sensor. It can't be easy after all that's happened to ask you for that - it does look like a positive step.

It must be so difficult that you can't see through the closed doors what's going on for her. But approaching you and getting a sensor implies keeness to do things better.

Her medical team can't talk to you but you can talk to them. ' Just to let you know this is going on, I know you cant tell me anything, but you might want to know that she might be needing more support.....' for e.g....?

All the best and keep us posted
 
Lizzzie said:
I think its an awesome sign that she's asked for a sensor. It can't be easy after all that's happened to ask you for that - it does look like a positive step.

It must be so difficult that you can't see through the closed doors what's going on for her. But approaching you and getting a sensor implies keeness to do things better.

Her medical team can't talk to you but you can talk to them. ' Just to let you know this is going on, I know you cant tell me anything, but you might want to know that she might be needing more support.....' for e.g....?

All the best and keep us posted
Click to expand...
Lizzie,
Thanks xx
 
Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
Back
Top