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You’ve been through so much @spell Don’t let this beat you. If it’s the diabetes, we can help. There’s no magic answer but with the hive brain of this forum, we can suggest things that should help.
 
spell said:
How do you achieve Zero engagement and stay alive.
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Zero engagement with the diabetes? Well, the simplest way would be to stick to fixed doses and fixed amounts of carbs for each meal. That way you don’t have to think. Inject your breakfast amount of X units and eat your normal breakfast. Same with lunch. I do this most days. I do vary my evening meal, but you could stick to a fixed dose and eat the same amount of carbs for your evening meal too.

Of course, you wouldn’t be correcting and if you got ill you might have to engage a bit, but sticking to set doses and set carbs removes a lot of brain work and engagement.
 
if you find bolusing on your pump a faff, you could use a pen for the boluses. No decimal points, no thought - just dial up your fixed dose, inject and eat your Y grams of carbs.
 
Are you looping with your pump? People who loop (I don’t) say it removes some of the mental load of diabetes. In addition, the loop can ‘tidy up’ miscounted carbs (bring your blood sugar down) and they’re working on a version of a loop that will mean you don’t have to bolus.
 
A hybrid closed loop might help. They aren’t perfect, and do need a little bit of looking after, but if you get one that works for you, it can help out, and take some of the grind away.

Simplifying things and sticking to familiar meals with steady doses can help push diabetes into the background too.

Keep going @spell
 
Inka said:
if you find bolusing on your pump a faff, you could use a pen for the boluses. No decimal points, no thought - just dial up your fixed dose, inject and eat your Y grams of carbs.
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Not bolusing, just living off basal for the past week this has taken a lot of the faffing about burden off of me and I'm doing it the way I want to do it.
 
An in-between option is to go back to twice daily insulin @spell At least you’d get some cover for your meals that way. One injection morning, one in the evening.

Although you’ve relieved the pressure from yourself, having high sugars must be making you feel rough. Perhaps the ‘basal only’ thing is something you could do occasionally/regularly so you give yourself a break at intervals.
 
Inka said:
An in-between option is to go back to twice daily insulin @spell At least you’d get some cover for your meals that way. One injection morning, one in the evening.

Although you’ve relieved the pressure from yourself, having high sugars must be making you feel rough. Perhaps the ‘basal only’ thing is something you could do occasionally/regularly so you give yourself a break at intervals.
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Unfortunately injections are not an option, if feeling rough is the result of this then so be it but I'm just trying to find a way to lessen the mind F and make it more of a distraction.
 
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If you eat at fairly regular times, you could tweak your basal a bit to give you some cover for your meals @spell That would allow you to do what you’re doing and reduce the highs as much as possible.
 
So why has this not been so obvious to me? If I don't eat any carbohydrates at all I won't have to take any insulin and have no need for a omnipod. Does that sound like a plan?
 
spell said:
So why has this not been so obvious to me? If I don't eat any carbohydrates at all I won't have to take any insulin and have no need for a omnipod. Does that sound like a plan?
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I suspect not as in the absence of carbohydrate the body converts protein and fats into glucose.
 
spell said:
So why has this not been so obvious to me? If I don't eat any carbohydrates at all I won't have to take any insulin and have no need for a omnipod. Does that sound like a plan?
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Sadly not @spell It’s something that occurred to me early on. Unfortunately our bodies will just get glucose from protein, and our body’s systems will also pump out glucose, which, without insulin, will push our blood sugar higher and higher.

Before the discovery and purification of insulin, they tried what were basically starvation diets to treat Type 1: thrice-boiled cabbage, black coffee with a dark of whisky to numb the agony, etc. Every single person died. Some from starvation, some from the Type 1 itself. Type 1s can’t live without external insulin even if we don’t eat any carbs.
 
Inka said:
Sadly not @spell It’s something that occurred to me early on. Unfortunately our bodies will just get glucose from protein, and our body’s systems will also pump out glucose, which, without insulin, will push our blood sugar higher and higher.

Before the discovery and purification of insulin, they tried what were basically starvation diets to treat Type 1: thrice-boiled cabbage, black coffee with a dark of whisky to numb the agony, etc. Every single person died. Some from starvation, some from the Type 1 itself. Type 1s can’t live without external insulin even if we don’t eat any carbs.
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Thanks ,Oh well I will give it a try anyway. Can't feel or do any worse
 
spell said:
Thanks ,Oh well I will give it a try anyway. Can't feel or do any worse
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If you take your Omnipod off, you’ll need to take long-acting insulin (at minimum) @spell Pump users can go into DKA very quickly.

Worse physically or worse mentally?
 
Inka said:
If you take your Omnipod off, you’ll need to take long-acting insulin (at minimum) @spell Pump users can go into DKA very quickly.

Worse physically or worse mentally?
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Both physically and more so mentally.lm getting used to feeling bad physically.
 
Is there anyone you can talk to in real life? A friend maybe? Sometimes just saying how we’re feeling helps a bit. If there’s no-one you can talk to, there’s always the Samaritans. I know @everydayupsanddowns has put their phone number and other links for you too before.

Is there anything that’s triggered these extreme bad feelings? I know you’ve said how you’re struggling many times before, but I just wondered if something has provoked this?
 
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