No appetite, making me ill

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I hope you feel better soon. Could you try having things like smoothies? You can make them just with a liquidiser and some fruit - berries, mango, orange juice, etc. Also you can include yogurts or milk (or cream/ice cream - you probably need the calories!).

How about soup? If I think of anything else I'll let you know.

I'm having the opposite problem though - a nearly 11 week old (2 weeks corrected, he was prem) and I'm permanently starving and trying to steer clear of endless quantities of chocolate and sweets, which is mostly what I feel like eating 😱😱
 
xxlou_lxx said:
I think a lot of what you say is true for me twitchy, I Love my little one so much and I do appreciate her being here and importantly, being healthy... I had a proper talk to my mum and sister today and figured out that most of my anxiety and how I feel now has came from the whole pregnancy until now, I looked at grace last night as she was smiling in her sleep and thought of the time she was growing iin my belly... it was the single most traumatic thing i have ever done carrying her all due to diabetes!!! I thought that with all of the things that tell you how diabetes can affect a baby and how every single day I was too frightened to even think of what she would look like or be like... it must not have been the most pleasant time for her in there 🙄
I cannot believe I let my diabetes spoil my happiness about having a little baby :(
Thinking that I cant be truly happy (just in case)
Its no way to think is it? That is what 21 years of diabetes did to me on what should of been the happiest time!

Dont get me wrong though, I love Grace with all of my heart.....

This is going to sound so selfish but......
I just wish I was normal, and didnt have all of those worries so I could think back on my pregnancy and smile, u know??

I really feel cheated!! Cheated by my body because of diabetes 😡
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Wow lou that is exactly how I feel about my pregnancy with Jess - it had to be without a doubt the hardest time of my life. Which is why I'm pretty sure I won't be having another one. I wouldn't change having Jessica but I don't think I can go through it all again. I just wanted to be normal too didn't want to be induced or have Jessica down in the nnu for 3 days with tubes going into her because of low blood sugars.

xxx
 
Hi Emma, Lou!

I know what you mean - I honestly felt traumatized after having Michael (even though I adore him!), and it took an awful lot of soul searching (& a chat to the obstetric consultant) to decide going for number 2 was not insane. I was very scared I'd be ill again, and terrified that we wouldn't have a good result again - it really did feel like we'd "pushed our luck" enough the first time! I can honestly say that I did not enjoy either pregnancy - there were the odd wow moments, but mostly a lot of fear due to the diabetes.

I can also totally relate to feeling cheated by my diabetes - I think this wasn't helped by having done NCT lessons & hanging around with a group of NCT "Alphamums" in the early days - I ended up feeling like a total failure for not having anything remotely approaching a "natural" birth & for not being able to 100% breast feed. 🙄 Although people told me 'it's having a healthy baby that matters' it took a long long time for me to accept this! It was almost like a grieving process, accepting that because I'd had diabetes so long (32 yrs this year) & being prone to Pre Eclampsia I was just never going to have a natural birth & breast feeding was always going to be challenging.

3 Years and another baby later... it's only now, having Charlotte here, healthy & doing well, that I have really started to rationalize just how scared I have been of losing Micheal, and started to really realise (heart knowledge, not just head knowledge!) that actually, he is now a fit & healthy, robust little boy and I don't need to be so scared for him all the time....it's been a really healing experience! In time, I'm hopeful you'll feel the same way! It did take a while to get past the "shock & awe" stage of it all though! 🙂 I do still get fiercely over protective (C's 7 weeks old and the grandparents on both sides have not really been let near yet!), and I still have to make a determined effort to try & deliberately have a positive mindset, as it were! (ie, she's fine, she's ok, you don't have to prod her every 5 mins to check she's still breathing!!).

I am certain that having a baby/ies as a diabetic is really hard work, physically and emotionally. This time, with hubby's blessing, I asked (and the doc agreed) to be sterilised during the c section, for two reasons. My left eye has really suffered this time with retinopathy, I've needed loads of lasering and there's a high risk of even more excessive damage were I to have another pregnancy. The main reason however, is the feeling that we have rolled the dice twice now, we have two healthy children (Thank God!!) and frankly, we're not willing to chance it again, it's just too traumatic! (yes, we're scaredy cats!) We're going to retire from procreation now 😛 and be very grateful that we've got our kids and they are healthy (even when they are hard work, lol!)! I'm trying to hold onto these thoughts & not allow myself to slip into resentment that the only reason I have had to make this decision is my diabetes (not always easy, granted!).

The positive point I was trying to make (sorry for waffle!!!) is that honestly, I can totally relate to how you feel, I think it's perfectly natural & probably even normal for diabetic mums to feel like this, and my experience has been that it does get better! (I would just say if you're feeling really low all the time, please do speak to the docs - why stuggle along feeling awful if they can help, we have it tough enough as it is!)

Big hugs (I think we're the real "alpha mums" anyway, dealing with both diabetes & kids he he!),

Twitchy x
 
Emmal31 said:
Wow lou that is exactly how I feel about my pregnancy with Jess - it had to be without a doubt the hardest time of my life. Which is why I'm pretty sure I won't be having another one. I wouldn't change having Jessica but I don't think I can go through it all again. I just wanted to be normal too didn't want to be induced or have Jessica down in the nnu for 3 days with tubes going into her because of low blood sugars.

xxx
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Also meant to say (sorry, verbal diahorrea today!!) that although Micheal was in scbu for a good few days, and in an incubator under lamps on the ward for another 2-3, don't assume it'll be the same next time...I got to have skin to skin time with Charlotte (which I'm sure helped with feeding & calming both of us!!) and apart from a few hours over night when they took her to the scbu for monitoring because they were concerned about her BG & breathing, I got to keep her with me. They do say no two pregnancies are the same! 🙂
 
Hi Lou

Sorry I am a bit slow picking up on this thread. I hope you are managing to get some food down you. Obviously I can not understand how you are feeling as I have not had a child - yet, but I already feel as though the diabetes has cheated me out of the pleasure of being pregnant. It is a constant worry about blood sugar levels, will they be ok, too many hospital trips etc. rather than planning the colours for the nursery or picking names.

I am glad you have spoken to you mum and sis about all this.

Big hugs

Rx
 
Im really glad I posted now, I now know im not the only one to have mixed up feelings towards the last ten months of my life 🙄 It makes me feel a bit better about it all knowing im not abnormal for feeling that way...
Resentment is a good way to describe going through the pregnancy with diabetes, although since posting on here and talking to my mum and sister I have felt a lot better, and I even had 3 bags of snack a jacks, half a chicken bake form gregs, about 1/3rd of my spag bol and a yogurt to eat yeaterday!! lol not the most balanced diet but I was just chuffed that I fancied eating what I had lol 😱
I have my post natal appointment next wednesday and my HV has already given him a "heads up" about my PND questionaire score so he will probably want to talk to me about that after he has checked over Grace...

I know what you mean Emma about having the little ones in nnu, Gracie was in 5 days and I was totally lost!! The bit that bothered me most was the midwives knew I was feeling down and not eating at the time (at one point I had to roll my food in paper towels to pretend I had eaten it) Yet they still moved me into a side room for the week I was there!! Talk about feeling alone lol 🙄

Thanks for sharing your stories Guys, it really means a lot 😱 xxxx
 
So glad to hear your appetite is back lou, I think for now try not to worry it isn't too healthy least your eating again. Let us know how you get on at the doctors.

Hi Twitchy,

I'm also glad you posted that. You must be so busy with charlotte and michael. What annoys me is that everyone keeps saying when are you having your next one (they were saying this a couple of weeks after Jessica was born) and I say I don't think there will be a next one. They say you'll change your mind :( but they just don't understand how hard and difficult and stressful it is being a pregnant diabetic (only people who do is you guys!)

xx
 
People keep asking me if I have got to the glowing or blooming stage yet. I have given up trying to explain that although some of the symptoms of pregnancy may go in the second trimester, all the diabetes related things just keep on going. I am still checking or eating in the night, having lots of hypos/hypers, feeling rubbish and the related worry.

Thank goodness for you lot, or I would be feeling completely alone.
 
rachelha said:
People keep asking me if I have got to the glowing or blooming stage yet. I have given up trying to explain that although some of the symptoms of pregnancy may go in the second trimester, all the diabetes related things just keep on going. I am still checking or eating in the night, having lots of hypos/hypers, feeling rubbish and the related worry.

Thank goodness for you lot, or I would be feeling completely alone.
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Yeah I had that asked lots and was told I looked it a lot even though I really didn't feel it! I can't describe the relief I had when I got my body back again I felt like the diabetes had taken over completely.

Were always here if you need any help/ advice 😉
 
It's interesting that some of you aren't having another child due to diabetes (have I got that right?!). I can't imagine *not* having another, and we already have 2. I've been trying to decide if that's a genuine desire or just a symptom of what we went through to get Edward - he was one of identical triplets, one didn't develop and was lost early on, and Daniel died at 26 weeks when we developed acute twin to twin transfusion syndrome and he was stillborn at 31 weeks. I do feel rather cheated (as well as a bit relieved, what with all the sleepless nights with one!).

At least there's noimmediate rush, Edward is only 10 weeks old! :D
 
Cate said:
It's interesting that some of you aren't having another child due to diabetes (have I got that right?!). I can't imagine *not* having another, and we already have 2. I've been trying to decide if that's a genuine desire or just a symptom of what we went through to get Edward - he was one of identical triplets, one didn't develop and was lost early on, and Daniel died at 26 weeks when we developed acute twin to twin transfusion syndrome and he was stillborn at 31 weeks. I do feel rather cheated (as well as a bit relieved, what with all the sleepless nights with one!).

At least there's noimmediate rush, Edward is only 10 weeks old! :D
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Its good that your not put off the idea of having another, you must of been through so much in your pregnancy emotionally!
Im not ruling out having another one, It would just be nice to do it with a little less anxiety than first time round! lol
Its maybe something ill deal with in time, I just dont understand the whole putting the fear of god into a diabetic woman about pregnancy, they tell you so much horrible statistics when quite clearly a woman can have a normal outcome.... my hba1c was 8.2 % or something b4 pregnany!! All I thought about was what harm was coming of my baby due to my diabetes, its no wonder I was depressed for the last few weeks of it all 🙄
It may sound so trivial to someone reading this and thinking oh its over and done with now, get over it, but unless you have done it... as we have then its hard to empathise over it....🙄
Its definately still lingering in the background somewhere coz im usually like what ur like at the moment with food... its unheard of for me not to eat haha xx
 
Lou - you are in Fife aren't you? I am Edinburgh, I was just thinking if every you wanted to meet up and talk about everything, send me a pm

Rachel
 
what a nice idea Rachel 🙂 id bring the wee one show ya what your in for hehe It would be good if they had a forum meeting up our way actually, wouldnt it? maybe too far for some ppl to travel though 🙄 xx
 
xxlou_lxx said:
...It may sound so trivial to someone reading this and thinking oh its over and done with now, get over it, but unless you have done it... as we have then its hard to empathise over it....🙄
Its definately still lingering in the background somewhere coz im usually like what ur like at the moment with food... its unheard of for me not to eat haha xx
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Speaking for myself, and as someone who will never go through what you ladies do, I can tell you that it is far from trivial-sounding! I have immense admiration for all you wonderful mothers and have followed your stories with my heart in my mouth. You are absolutely fantastic :D
 
Northerner said:
Speaking for myself, and as someone who will never go through what you ladies do, I can tell you that it is far from trivial-sounding! I have immense admiration for all you wonderful mothers and have followed your stories with my heart in my mouth. You are absolutely fantastic :D
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AH 😱 you'll embarass us northerner :D thank you very much
 
I second that Northe!! As a diabetic who had my daughter before diabetes, I just cannot imagine dealing with pregnancy while diabetic. It makes my head spin! I take my hat off to you who have!!
Glodee
 
well I had my 8 week check with gp today and he feels like my lack of appetite is down to some mild PND afterall, due to my other symptoms, he has arranged a blood test for to check my iron levels too. I have been put on some tablets to take, i feel not very good for being in this predicament but to be honest I suppose anthing that helps me get my eating back on track will help with my BS levels too, and the dreaded hba1c in 7 weeks 🙄

The wee one had her jabs today as well, she was an angel lol, im so proud 😛
 
awww glad she was good , some can scream the place down lol x good luck with the new tablets hun x
 
Hi Lou - glad your doctor was understanding and is looking into things for you. It is not your fault that you are feeling like this, please try not too feel bad about it. What tablets is it they have put you on? Have you been able to eat anymore in the last couple of days?

I was thinking maybe we could have a pregnant/new mums Scottish meet, maybe Twinnie would be up for it too, she is in Glasgow - or is that being a bit cliquey (dont know how you spell that?)

Rx
 
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