New to Type II...and absolutely devastated

[AndreaM]

Hi all,

I am newly diagnosed and am trying, though unsuccessfully, to come to grips with this condition. I am 43 and the mum of a lovely year-and-a-half old girl. I am beside myself with grief, fear and sadness. I just don't know how to move forward and take control of diabetes. I think I am still in shock and disbelief, and waiting to wake up from this terrible dream. I become quite anxious every time I test my sugars and I feel all the pleasure has been taken out of eating. I am actually scared to eat, if that makes any sense.

I don't have anyone to talk to and my doctor is not very helpful at all. I am hoping to find advice and support in this forum, because I truly don't know who to turn to. I want to stop being so scared and depressed. I want to stop crying. I want to stop being angry at myself.

How do you finally come to accept this diagnosis? How do you move forward? I've always had a positive outlook but this condition has shaken me to my very core. I just cannot be sad and miserable all the time, but I don't know how to rise above.

 

[Ljc]

Hello @AndreaM , welcome to the forum.
Firstly please try not to panic. When you are newly diagnosed it does come as a shock. You will need a little time to recover, you are going through a kind of grief but you will come out the other side . Shedding a few tears is not a bad thing, it’s actually helping you.

Once you have the right info and start to make the necessary changes , Diabetes is a condition that can be well controlled and needn't stop you doing anything you want too.

I have a few questions which will help us give you the most appropriate advise based on what has worked for us.

What diabetes medications if any are you on.
What was the result of your last Hb1ac.

Ask all the questions you need to about diabetes and we will do our best to help.

 

[AndreaM]

Hello Ljc,

My Hba1c is 68 and I'm currently not on any medications.

I have been working through the shock and don't feel I'm making any progress. I am bouncing from emotion to emotion and am anxious more often than not.

I have been exercising for at least 30 minutes almost daily - I think I only missed one or two days in the last month. I walk a lot pushing my daughter in her pram and choose routes with hills to increase the effort I need to exert. I have cut my carbs down to a minimum as the carbs in breads, pasta and flour spike my glucose levels. The spikes really scare me. I've shed a few pounds but I have a long way to go.

Moving toward accepting the diagnosis is something I really want to do, but my erratic emotional state is holding me back. I thought I'd reach out to ask for advice, next steps and really anything that will help me begin the next chapter in my life. I keep telling myself that I'll be healthier with diabetes than I was without it, do you know what I mean?

There will be a long road ahead. What do you do first? How do you begin the journey?

 

[SB2015]

Welcome to the forum @AndreaM

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis but very pleased that you have found the forum.
It is a big shock getting the diagnosis but this is a manageable condition.
You have already listed things that will have a big impact but they will take time.

With regard what you can eat you already know that it is the carbohydrates that are the issue. All carbs are changed to glucose once inside us, so we all need to be familiar with the sources of these. some of them are hidden away and the press does not help with the focus it makes in Sugar.

Some people find it helpful to keep a brutally honest food diary, alongside BG results (good to see that you are already testing) taken before you eat and again 2 hours after you eat. In your food diary it will be useful to note the amount of carbs you eat. This will involve some weighing of foods and reading packaging. The info is not always clear, but we find it useful to have a list of the things we eat regularly and it is surprising how quickly you become a carb expert. With the BG results you will see which foods spike your levels and you can then do swaps. I certainly find that foods high in sugar make sharper spikes so tend to avoid those.

Another things I find useful (but do not always do) is try to avoid sitting down for at least 15 minutes after a meal. We often go for a short walk, but other times it might be doing ironing, anything to avoid being stationary after eating. You are already clocking up the exercise, which will help both with glucose levels and general fitness. If there is anyway you can slot in the exercise after eating it will help to flatten out the rises after a meal.

Enough from me. There is plenty of experience to draw on here. Ask any questions that arise. Nothing is considered silly on here.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @AndreaM

Sorry to hear how hard your diagnosis has hit you. Feeling shocked and overwhelmed is perfectly normal and natural - and like any form of grieving, you can expect all manner of the ‘5 stages’ to arrive chaotically and in waves in any order, and sometimes all on the same day.

But things will settle. This emotional upheaval will subside. And you will learn to live with and manage your diabetes in a way that suits you.

There can be a great deal of stigma attached to T2, but this is completely unfair, and unhelpful. There is no need to blame yourself or give yourself a hard time. There is research that demonstrates that the majority of the likelihood of a person developing T2 is based in genetics - so don’t consider this your fault.

Try not to be disheartened about your diagnosis, many people on the forum later reflect that their diagnosis became a catalyst which prompted them to make positive changes towards a healthier and more active life. Perhaps changes that they had been intending to make for years.

Diabetes is a serious condition, but it’s also one that can usually be managed well with a few changes and adaptations - it’s something that you can learn to live well with, and it shouldn’t stop you doing things you enjoy.

One of the biggest questions when trying to get to grips with your diabetes is often ‘what can I eat’ and while there are obvious things like cakes, biscuits, sweets and sugary drinks that you will want to cut out straight away, you might be surprised how much *all* carbohydrate affects your BG levels, including rice, pasta, potatoes, bread, pastry, grains, cereals and many fruits.

Good luck and keep asking questions on the forum. Nothing will be considered too obvious or ‘silly’

 

[Drummer]

My response was probably exactly the reverse of yours - I had been telling my HCPs that carbs made me feel unwell for decades before I was diagnosed and they had never even bothered to do a blood test.
Now that I have the perfect excuse to eat low carbs I am very happy, and also 50lb lighter.
For me, diabetes is irrelevant. It makes no difference to my life other than that I tell the GPs and dieticians what they can do with their high carb diets rather than struggle to follow their advice.
I am looking forward to the chicken with mushrooms and a salad for dinner, as I didn't bother to eat this morning.
When I test my glucose levels I can feel smug - I have got it under control, year on year my Hba1c is the same, my blood glucose levels are normal.
When all the advice is that carbs are healthy - why be angry at yourself?
When all you need to do is find the low carb options so you can eat tasty nourishing meals which should give you all the energy you need - why be anxious about eating.
For a plain ordinary type two the key is to stop eating the unnatural amounts of sugar and starches in the modern diet and getting back to normal should happen very quickly.

 

[AndreaM]

My response was probably exactly the reverse of yours - I had been telling my HCPs that carbs made me feel unwell for decades before I was diagnosed and they had never even bothered to do a blood test.
Now that I have the perfect excuse to eat low carbs I am very happy, and also 50lb lighter.
For me, diabetes is irrelevant. It makes no difference to my life other than that I tell the GPs and dieticians what they can do with their high carb diets rather than struggle to follow their advice.
I am looking forward to the chicken with mushrooms and a salad for dinner, as I didn't bother to eat this morning.
When I test my glucose levels I can feel smug - I have got it under control, year on year my Hba1c is the same, my blood glucose levels are normal.
When all the advice is that carbs are healthy - why be angry at yourself?
When all you need to do is find the low carb options so you can eat tasty nourishing meals which should give you all the energy you need - why be anxious about eating.
For a plain ordinary type two the key is to stop eating the unnatural amounts of sugar and starches in the modern diet and getting back to normal should happen very quickly.

You are so right! I've been hosting my own pity party for far too long now. I had chickpea pasta with pesto, chicken and red peppers for dinner (with a small glass of wine), then went for a 35 minute walk. My sugars afterward were well within range and it has given me a bit of a boost. I CAN manage this!

Carbs (flour, rice, sugars) always seem to spike my sugars, so I decided today, why bother worrying? Just cut them out and I'll feel better. I think the reason I am so angry with myself is because I had gestational diabetes and did nothing to change my diet, figuring it would just go away. Still, here I am and rather than waste more time worrying and moaning about it, I will make better use of my time by being active and by making smart food choices. Time for a new normal.

 

[AndreaM]

Welcome to the forum @AndreaM

Sorry to hear how hard your diagnosis has hit you. Feeling shocked and overwhelmed is perfectly normal and natural - and like any form of grieving, you can expect all manner of the ‘5 stages’ to arrive chaotically and in waves in any order, and sometimes all on the same day.

But things will settle. This emotional upheaval will subside. And you will learn to live with and manage your diabetes in a way that suits you.

There can be a great deal of stigma attached to T2, but this is completely unfair, and unhelpful. There is no need to blame yourself or give yourself a hard time. There is research that demonstrates that the majority of the likelihood of a person developing T2 is based in genetics - so don’t consider this your fault.

Try not to be disheartened about your diagnosis, many people on the forum later reflect that their diagnosis became a catalyst which prompted them to make positive changes towards a healthier and more active life. Perhaps changes that they had been intending to make for years.

Diabetes is a serious condition, but it’s also one that can usually be managed well with a few changes and adaptations - it’s something that you can learn to live well with, and it shouldn’t stop you doing things you enjoy.

One of the biggest questions when trying to get to grips with your diabetes is often ‘what can I eat’ and while there are obvious things like cakes, biscuits, sweets and sugary drinks that you will want to cut out straight away, you might be surprised how much *all* carbohydrate affects your BG levels, including rice, pasta, potatoes, bread, pastry, grains, cereals and many fruits.

Good luck and keep asking questions on the forum. Nothing will be considered too obvious or ‘silly’

I decided today, after a trip to the pharmacy to get more lancets, that I will make it a point to inform myself and to educate myself as much as possible. I will not let diabetes define me. This is an opportunity, and a much needed one, to become healthier, both physically and mentally.

As it was caught early enough, I have decided to make as many changes as I can to start managing this condition wisely. There are more things to eat, other than carbs and sweets, and if eating is what defined me before the diagnosis, it's time to reassess my priorities. I was eating far too many carbs to begin with; now it's time for wiser choices and a healthier version of me.

Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot.

 

[Annemarie]

@AndreaM Hello, I’m adding my story but not as advice. We are all different but eventually accept and work with it.
I have a long history of becoming unwell, fainting during sport just before lunch when I was at school. During pregnancy it was picked up, I was told to keep an eye on it. Several years ago Dr decided I was type2 (no tests) after 6 years on Metformin and extremely severe diarrhoea I ended up in hospital, no conclusions.
A different GP took a blood test, sent me straight to hospital with a blood sugar level of 168. Diagnosed as having been type1 probably for most of my life and allergic to Metformin.
The hardest thing was acceptance of what I saw as a life sentence. This forum was a shock, so many knowledgeable people, so much positivity, it’s been my ‘turn to’ each day to learn and gain confidence.
I do find everything gets blamed on diabetes (MRSA in an operation site, failing to heal as expected etc etc) but me and my diabetes now respect each other. I have a Libre2 and a good control without denial, I enjoy my new choices. Alternative foods have been interesting for my husband too, he hasn’t felt fitter in years.
I can still be stupid and can’t dodge the consequences eg at my Grandson’s party I had a tiny bit of everything but the next day felt like a student who’d had 10 pints the night before!
You have so much support, so many ideas, recipes etc on this forum. Try them, work on your own and embrace your new friendships and lifestyle. Good luck!

 

[Leadinglights]

I decided today, after a trip to the pharmacy to get more lancets, that I will make it a point to inform myself and to educate myself as much as possible. I will not let diabetes define me. This is an opportunity, and a much needed one, to become healthier, both physically and mentally.

As it was caught early enough, I have decided to make as many changes as I can to start managing this condition wisely. There are more things to eat, other than carbs and sweets, and if eating is what defined me before the diagnosis, it's time to reassess my priorities. I was eating far too many carbs to begin with; now it's time for wiser choices and a healthier version of me.

Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot.

It sounds as if a switch has suddenly flipped over in your head and you can now start the journey of finding all those super low carb meals to enjoy and hopefully reduce your HbA1C without medication. That was my absolute fear than I would need medication so reduced my carbs in hindsight a bit too quickly as I had some vision issues but I now find the low carb just the normal. So onwards and upwards as they say.

 

[adrian1der]

rather than waste more time worrying and moaning about it, I will make better use of my time by being active and by making smart food choices. Time for a new normal.

Great attitude @AndreaM

You started in a very similar place to me. I have no will power at all but like you, I am determined to keep things under control. Six months down the line and I feel fitter and healthier than I have done in many years and am eating a much more varied and far healthy diet as well.

 

[Leadinglights]

Great attitude @AndreaM

You started in a very similar place to me. I have no will power at all but like you, I am determined to keep things under control. Six months down the line and I feel fitter and healthier than I have done in many years and am eating a much more varied and far healthy diet as well.

You only have to look at adrian1der's menus in the thread 'What did you eat yesterday' to see how fabulous his meals are. We are all waiting for the dinner invite🙂

 

[Christy]

Yes, I'm waiting for that invite too 😛. I also swopped onto low carb right away but have been able to tolerate a higher level of carbs after my hbac1 was reduced & I calmed down a bit. I've no intention of returning to previous habits though. It helps to test and plan. Having your positive attitude will really help. Good luck.

 

[BlueArmy]

Andrea,

First of all, its not your fault your diabetic. So don’t even go to that place in your head where you feel like that (it’s destructive).

Secondly, its ok to be upset and shocked at diagnosis, let it sink in - and don’t panic. You can still eat nice food, you just need to think differently about it. Also, diabetes effects all cells in your body, including your brain which in turn can make you feel even more anxious.

Its strange with a Hb1AC at that level the Doctors have not prescribed any medication, did they at least explain how to control it through diet?

Finally, I have just finished reading this book, its very good and helps explain things well, once you can get past the damage american authors do to the english language. It will help.

Your not alone, reach out whenever you need to and don’t feel scared. Hang in there.