New to this...

[becky_boo]

Hi guys,

I've just posted in the newbies section but I need some advise and just to vent a little.

So I am 22 and I got diagnosed and taken into hospital on June 27th this year with Type one.
Everyone has been going on about how well I am doing and adapting and that I am handling it really well. I guess that is sort of true, I have always had the mantra just to get on with it, learn and adapt.
Anyways I have had my moments when I have got upset but Sunday night I just broke down.
I have been slowly getting my blood sugars under control, learning what I can an can not have (atm I am on set insulin levels) but then on sunday night I did my reading before bed and it was 17.5! I was soo shocked by this and my machine was telling me to check my ketons. So I went down into my dinning room to get the right strips to do so and checked them and my ketons were at 0.1.
I NOW know that this is fine, but after I had done it I just sat there. I didnt know if this was good or bad, I didnt know what I was meant to do if it was bad? I just didnt know what I was doing or what I should be doing.
Then the flood gates just opened. I just didnt want any of this, I felt like I couldnt get anything right and was fed up that I was having to make all this changes!
My boyfriend came and found me and said its only been a few weeks and that I am still learning and finding things out blah blah and that I wont know or get everything right straight away. I know this is true, and I am feeling better today (spent yesterday in my pj`s an in bed feeling sorry for myself but after the 2nd bubble bath i felt better haha). I think I dont really talk about it and if I do I have to be all happy so other people wont worry (mum hasn't taken it well) so I just needed some time to let it out.
The other half has know told me to talk to him about what's going on he has been brilliant about it all.

Is it normal that I feel like this? Will it all get any easier? Just feel like ahhhhh about it all some times.

Sorry if I have posted this in the wrong area, I only litrally signed up 10mins ago 😱

Anyways I hope everyone else out there is ok lol =)

Bekki x

 

[Northerner]

Hi Bekki, yes it is perfectly normal to feel like this, and especially when you are so new to it, so don't beat yourself up 🙂 It sounds like you have been coping very well with it, but then it really hit you when you saw the high number. It's not pleasant to see, but remember it's just one number and one number won't do you any harm. Instead, try to think of reasons why the number might have been high. How soon after eating and injecting did you take the reading? Did you take your level before eating/injecting? What did you eat? All this (and other things, as you will learn!) will help you in the future so as you gain experience you will be able to avoid this happening - not always, but most of the time. Sometimes the Diabetes Fairy is feeling mischievous and throws in a high that you have no explanation for!

High levels can affect your mood, so that would probably have contributed to your emotions, but mainly I imagine it was having to put on a happy face for everyone so they wouldn't fuss and worry - sounds just like me!

What insulin are you on? Have a look at the Useful links thread for links to some good resources. I'd particularly recommend getting a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas - It will explain everything you need to know about living with Type 1. Well, maybe not everything, but for those things it doesn't, you have us! 🙂

If you are on Facebook, there is a group on there where you can let off steam and share with other students, it's at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/342330325808929/?bookmark_t=group

It was set up by a couple of our members. Also, there may be a Circle D group near where you live - they are great for socials and it's really good to chat face to face with others who know just how you feel 🙂

http://www.circledrocks.co.uk/About-Us.html

You'll have a lot of ups and down as you learn how to fine tune things, but we are always here for help and support, so if there is anything you want to know, just let us know 🙂

 

[Doddy]

Welcome Bekki xx I am sorry to hear you have joined this club, but the people on here are amazing. i was dx at end of April, and am still trying to find the right dose for me.
I went through lots of different emotions at the time, and even now I have days where I feel I haven't got a clue what I am doing.
My hubby has been quite supportive, and although he isn't one to listen, he understands diabetes (a little!).
Talk talk and talk. like I said, the people on this forum have a wealth of knowledge, and you can guarantee, if you are feeling it, someone here has too. you won't be alone.
Give yourself time..someone on here (think it was northerner) said Diabetes was a marathon not a sprint, and i hold that close to me...and remind myself that as long as I am doing all I can today, then tomorrow, my numbers will be better.

 

[robofski]

Hi Bekki 🙂

You sound pretty normal to me!

I remember when I started insulin and testing I was all very "This will be fine, nothing to get upset about, get on with it" and thought I'm not going to let this get to me!

About 10 days in, it did get to me, I had my 'moment' where it all got on top of me, why was the number so high, it wasn't right, stupid body not doing what it was supposed to!

Like you I'm lucky that I've got a OH who is really supportive and listens to my moans, she picked me up that day, dusted me down and told me it would be OK and I'd get there, I just need to give it a more time.

Three months down the line and I really do feel I'm getting there, the friendly advice here has given me so much encouragement to tackle my D head on and I finally think I'm controlling it and not the other way around.

I still have lots to learn but I do feel positive (most days) that this is a totally manageable situation it just takes a little getting used to and there is a lot to learn. The hardest thing is the individuality of D!!

You sound like you're doing tremendously well, stick at it and come here with your questions, there will always be someone to offer friendly advice or be a sounding board when you just need to rant 🙂

Dan

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Hi Bekki

Yup, absolutely normal - most of us will have gone through those feelings and recognise them well. You'll have days/weeks/months/years of feeling fine, and then *bang* hit a wobbly patch again. Just part of the territory I guess.

There's a very lovely animation I wished I'd found earlier looks at a diagnosis from a slightly sideways viewpoint - Diabetes Makes You Stronger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXkrCvQhWg8

And you might also find some interesting/inspiring thoughts on the You Can Do This Project by US diabetes blogger Kim - http://youcandothisproject.com/

Rant away and ask questions as they crop up - chances are someone around here will have been there before you 🙂

 

[Emmaathome]

Hi Bekki

Sounds normal to me. I'm only t2 although on insulin, diagnosed in March.

I have good days and bad days, the slightest thing can set me back on the "its not fair, why me" path. But that only lasts a matter of hours normally, and i'm back to being me again.

Hope you feel more positive soon - as already said there is lots of help and support on here, someone will always offer a shoulder if you need one.

 

[Caroline]

Hello Bekki and welcome to the forums. Don't worry about putting stuff in the wrong place, there is a lot to learn.

We all have good days and bad days with the dreadfull D. There is a lot to learn, and we all learn something new every day. I'm type 2. Every so often I pretend the d doesn't exist, have a day where I eat and drink what I like and feel dreadfull the next day andget back on track again.

This forum is brilliant and there is always someone who will be able to make suggestions or tell you what worked for them and what's worth a try. I have made loads of friends and got lots of support from here.

I hope you are feeling better. One thing I have learned (I was diagnoed in 2006) is to be patient with myself and not beat myself up when I slip up or get things wrong

 

[Steph36]

A newbie as well!

Hi Becky (and all the kind people who replied to your post),

I am very similar to you in that I too am in my early 20's and a newly diagnosed T1 (oh, and also HUGELY emotional!). I took a similar attitude to you, the stoic "I can deal with this", but sometimes feel very overwhelmed and alone with it all. It has been so comforting to come here and read all the encouraging and empathetic posts. It's going to be okay!
🙂 Steph

 

[Northerner]

Hi Becky (and all the kind people who replied to your post),

I am very similar to you in that I too am in my early 20's and a newly diagnosed T1 (oh, and also HUGELY emotional!). I took a similar attitude to you, the stoic "I can deal with this", but sometimes feel very overwhelmed and alone with it all. It has been so comforting to come here and read all the encouraging and empathetic posts. It's going to be okay!
🙂 Steph

Hi Steph, welcome to the forum 🙂 You're among hundreds of people who 'get it' now, so just pitch in with your queries and qualms! 🙂

 

[lauraw1983]

Hi Bekki....yes sounds very normal. I am only a little ahead of you on this journey, I am 28 diagnosed last year. I really sympathise with your post.

I felt exactly as you do, and it is recognised as a normal reaction to a diagnosis like this. In many ways I still can't believe I have it, and hate it, and other days I just get on with things and am determined not to let it interfere in my life too much! My best advice, especially just now, is just one day at a time, little by little you will get there I promise.

What insulin regime are you on just now?

 

[AJLang]

Hi Bekki and Steph

Welcome to the forum🙂 Although it may not seem like it at the moment there is hardly anything that diabetes stops you from doing. I've had it since I was 2 and have had a great life - if anything the diabetes pushed me to do things including getting a PhD, travelling to places such as Beirut and Israel and gatecrashing a party with Benny and Bjorn of Abba - which included an afternoon/evening of drinking almost non-stop champagne and cocktails Of course it has to be balanced with the diabetes but life is for living whatever it throws at you.........but at the same time it is perfectly normal to have times when it all gets too much and you wish that it would go away or that hte diabetes would at least go on holiday for a while 🙄. Everyone on the forum is so supportive and will help you with any questions that you have.

 

[becky_boo]

Thank you everyone so much for your reply's, it has really made me feel so much better about all this knowing that so many people have replied to just this, I know if I have something really pressing I can come here and get answers.

I am on the Novorapid Insulin pen, which I have with each meal,
And also the Lantus insulin pen which I have in the mornings with my 1st Novor,

For someone that HATED needles before this (my mum used to trick me into them once when visiting the doctors she went and sat back in the waiting room, when i prompted her why she said she needed to see the nurse. Ok I thought. erm no it was for me to have an injection!!!!!) Anyways yeah I have actually been fine with them all and now dont care. My white blood cells also nearly got completely wiped out whilst in hospital, but their not sure why so I am still having blood tests each week about that. So my needles i dont mind.

I went in to see the diabetic nurse in the hospital today, only been out 13 days. but she said that I'm coping really well and seem to be doing good so that was nice to hear. She said I might still be going through the "honeymoon period" which one of you spoke about, so I am going back again in a months time and see from there if my insulin needs adjusting. They want to keep me under the hospital for the next few months till I am settled and then will be referred to my local team and they will asses me to see if I am ready to go on the course they do to teach you to adjust your does to what your eating. Looking forward to having a bit more control.
I actually had a hypo as soon as I walked through the hospital doors lol. I had lunch at 12, checked my levels at two and they were fine, and at 3 they had dropped to their lowest yet! I seem to get the shakes when I have hypos but this was really bad and I felt like I was going to pass out which wasn't nice, but I had a sweet with me so had that and ran to get some coke!

Erm exercises, I do horse riding once a week for an hour. When I am at uni I am on there cheer leading team which is ranked 4th nationally (one spot away from going to compete in america 😉 ) we train at the very least three times a week for two hours at a time, sometimes three. I also have three adorable lively dogs that I take for 5 mile walks when I can. I also enjoy pilates, yoga dancing (when I have the time).

I have been thinking about making a youtube account, videos tracking whats going on in the life of a new diabetic, how I'm feeling and what I am going through. Just as a way to talk and maybe it will help others. Do people think this is a good idea?


Sorry about the long post 😱 If anyone happens to be interested in what British cheer leading in like ive linked a youtube video of one of ours comps behind the scenes type thing =)

Thank you again for all your help!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k27QYGVdtW0&feature=plcp

 

[robofski]

Bekki, I love the idea of the YouTube video, sounds like a great idea 🙂

I think you should be very proud of how far you've come in such a short space of time. Well done on spotting the hypo, I had my first only a few days ago, it wasn't a nice feeling but at least I now know what to look for!

 

[becky_boo]

Thank you, yeah I think im gonna do it. Their not nice the hypos, Ive had 6 now but you get used to stopping the signs lol =)

 

[Northerner]

Thank you, yeah I think im gonna do it. Their not nice the hypos, Ive had 6 now but you get used to stopping the signs lol =)

Once you have learned to adjust your insulin doses you will be much better placed to avoid hypos Bekki (although probably not entirely!). It's good that you recognise them easily and can treat them quickly - make sure you always carry lots of sweets with you so you don't have to run for Coke! 🙂

I think the youtube idea is a very good one, and something you will be able to look back on and see how far you have come 🙂

p.s. just watched the video - looks like you all have a really good time and very demanding work! Make sure you take lots of jelly babies to training with you, and test yourself regularly. All that exercise will really help with your blood sugar levels 🙂

 

[becky_boo]

Yeah training can be intense sometimes, 6am starts when its getting close to a completion's!!

I cant wait to learn how to adjust everything myself and get more control.

Had to call my team at the hospital just now. I had sugars of 4 at 10.30pm but was starving from swimming so had some wheat a bix, and my blood sugar at midnight was fine, but was woken up at 3am with a hypo, then my morning reading was to low, and THEN was having another hypo two hrs after breakfast!!! lol

Apparently I am in the "honeymoon period" still, but if my honeymoon, when i have it is like this i`m trading in my husband! lol.

They have taken my insulin down a few units and then will see how I am on friday.l

Was saying to my best friend last night, this is the biggest motivator to get in shape ever! Going to get my body, mind and everything in shape!
Instead of thinking ohh i really shouldn't have that chocolate cake....now Its like I cant =P

Im looking on this with a positive mind, I want to learn all I can about diabetes, Im going to really push myself to do things!

 

[robofski]

Im looking on this with a positive mind, I want to learn all I can about diabetes, Im going to really push myself to do things!

With an attitude like that you'll go far 🙂

 

[Northerner]

Good that they have reduced your insulin Bekki, it sounds like your lantus was probably the main culprit. I had a similar experience in the first few weeks after diagnosis but eventually got the doses right. Things can change though, so (hopefully!) you will be taught how to adjust things yourself, or even in advance of things like extra training when you may need much less insulin. I think I've already recommended it, but Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas is a really good book for finding out all the things you need to know about Type 1 it got me off to a great start 🙂

With your sort of determination I'm sure you'll get along fine, and the diabetes won't stand in the way of you achieving anything. If you'd like to read an inspiring story, try and get hold of The Sugarless Plum by Zipporah Karz. It's the story of a New York City ballet dancer who develops Type 1 when she is 21, but continues (in what I'm sure you know is an extremely arduous career) to become a Soloist 🙂