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[kelstar]

Hi guys,

have been a type 1 since April 2002..

Feel like I've had the privilege of meeting diabetes burnout finally.. so i was 8 when diagnosed, currently see a CBT but just feel like i am getting no nowhere. i assume I'm not the only person feeling like this and i have been advised to try and make contact with other people who have or may be struggling.. i feel so lonely and isolated, i literally HATE diabetes and give up, i don't want it anymore.. :'(

 

[Sprogladite]

Don't worry, you are not alone. I've been through periods of burnout too and I promise, it does get better! This forum is fantastic and there is an absolute wealth of knowledge on here, as well as a ton of friendly people who will 100% relate to how you feel. The fact you've joined the forum and sought contact with others is a very positive step for you, so well done 🙂 is there anything specific about diabetes that is getting you down, or is it just the whole thing generally? x

 

[kelstar]

always been too nervous to actually sign up to this due to never really having great control.. I just can't seem to get the motivation to test my sugars and sometimes do my insulin, i seem to just A) completely not even think about when i eat until my sugars are already high B) just pass it off as in i hope that just ignoring it all it'll go away (i know it won't). I mean i must be doing something right as i haven't been admitted into hospital since getting the insulin pump whereas i was in about 5/6 times a year before it. but i just can't seem to get the motivation to do the sugars or insulin, i do well for 3 or 4 days then go straight to my old ways of just giving up and pretending its not there.. i just don't know what to do, sometimes i feel like id be better having a carer or something literally there doing it for me, terrible i know..

 

[Redkite]

Sorry to hear you're struggling. There's no doubt that type 1 is demanding and relentless, and if you're feeling depressed then it's all so much harder. Can you perhaps set yourself some small goals each day, such as a minimum of BG tests? Don't be hard on yourself, be proud of what you ARE doing and what you're coping with.

 

[Ditto]

Hello Kelstar, welcome to the forum 🙂 I'm sorry you have burn-out but not surprised, it must be really difficult. Don't give up, there's loads of help on here.

 

[Sprogladite]

always been too nervous to actually sign up to this due to never really having great control.. I just can't seem to get the motivation to test my sugars and sometimes do my insulin, i seem to just A) completely not even think about when i eat until my sugars are already high B) just pass it off as in i hope that just ignoring it all it'll go away (i know it won't). I mean i must be doing something right as i haven't been admitted into hospital since getting the insulin pump whereas i was in about 5/6 times a year before it. but i just can't seem to get the motivation to do the sugars or insulin, i do well for 3 or 4 days then go straight to my old ways of just giving up and pretending its not there.. i just don't know what to do, sometimes i feel like id be better having a carer or something literally there doing it for me, terrible i know..

I completely understand, there were some days where I used to not do any insulin at all. I think @Redkite's suggestion of small goals is a good one - that sort of thing really helped me. The trick with it is to not expect perfect results and not to get discouraged by the numbers it's showing - it's the act of doing the test itself that is what is important at this point. I also found implementing a reward system for myself helped hugely - for example, if I had 3 good days in a row, day 4 was "treat" day and I'd refuse to beat myself up for eating the whole damn pack of oreos with no insulin (absolutely not suggesting that's what you should do, it's just what I did lol). Having this really helped me to "get back on the horse" so to speak for the next few days. Please try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling this way - I have never met a T1 who has had this condition long term and not been through this at some point. It is awfully common and to some extent, to be expected - people don't realise what an emotional toll this can have on us x

 

[Ralph-YK]

Hello Kelstar, from a T2. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling.

 

[kelstar]

Thanks guys.. I’ve given myself the target of testing my sugars at least 3 times a day as a minimum, doing that and getting a high reading automatically makes me do the insulin so 2 birds 1 stone.. love the idea of a treat day, I did that when I went slimming world and that worked so I may give it a try.. I don’t think my Hba1c has actually ever been lower that 98 (2years ago) last one was 113.. so I’m hoping the new one next week could be lower as I have been trying.. I know my diet isn’t any good for example my Pump said I should take 17units for my lunch but my Pump won’t let me take more that 16 so that’s a sure sign I need to change what I’m eating.. trying to get some more exercise in (swimming tonight) and I did smoke up until 2 weeks ago, have completely given it up but I can’t help expect to much to quick.. my therapist tells me that I haven’t accepted my Diabetes but doesn’t tell me how to do that, any ideas?

 

[Sprogladite]

What sort of things are you eating? I'm guessing as you're on a pump you have done some sort of carb counting course? Quite honestly I don't think there's any one thing that leads to acceptance, other than time. To me it sounds like you are on your way though - otherwise you wouldn't be here and making an effort. I found that getting myself into a proper routine really helped me as well, as doing the tests and insulin just became part of that. Your target of 3 BG tests a day sounds very sensible to me 🙂 x

 

[kelstar]

Crisps are my weakness but I can’t normally demolish a sharing bag to myself. egg custard but a larger one and a baguette with chicken mayo.. that’s not a bad lunch for me.. I eat a lot of fatty foods basically as I work whacky hours so I just get too lazy.. yeah I’ve done a course but really didn’t find it useful, I use the carbs and Cals app now with everything or just use the packaging.. I really want to look after myself as I’m terrified of killing myself so to speak.. and not only that my partner and I have been talking about babies (defo not yet) but I wouldn’t stand a chance given my control now..

 

[Sprogladite]

Have you considered making substitutes? For example, vegetable crisps instead of potato? Or even something like wotsits, which would be 9g carbs as opposed to 16-17g? Cutting carb portions would be hugely beneficial. It is a lot more difficult when you have an erratic work schedule but it's not impossible 🙂 the carbs and cals app is a godsend. You might also find keeping a food diary helpful along with your 3 bg results a day so you can see if there are patterns, identify any changes you could make with diet etc etc x

 

[kelstar]

I took your advice, still have the sneaky treat of Doritos however I’ve been actively making meals from scratching and trying to snack on more fruit and things rather than sausage rolls or crisps and you know what, I have noticed the difference.. and some brilliant news today my Hba1chas come down from 116 to 95.. didn’t even realise I’d put that much effort in.. I’m so pleased..

 

[Sprogladite]

That's great, well done!! It is definitely all about making the little changes that you can keep going. You are doing really well! 🙂 x

 

[kelstar]

I feel like I am really turning a corner you know.. just getting how I was feeling out has lifted such a huge weight off my shoulders.. ☺️

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

I took your advice, still have the sneaky treat of Doritos however I’ve been actively making meals from scratching and trying to snack on more fruit and things rather than sausage rolls or crisps and you know what, I have noticed the difference.. and some brilliant news today my Hba1chas come down from 116 to 95.. didn’t even realise I’d put that much effort in.. I’m so pleased..

Great stuff kelstar 🙂

Onward and downward!

 

[Ally beetle]

I feel like I am really turning a corner you know.. just getting how I was feeling out has lifted such a huge weight off my shoulders.. ☺️

it is great you are feeling more positive it is a hard job just thinking about diabetes dealing with its ups and downs each day is quite another little steps are the key I think. Well done for making the first moves to get you back on the road to coping.