New Joiner !

[John Ashby]

Hello, my name is John Ashby and I am married to my dear wife, Anne....we've been happily married now for fifty years. I was diagnosed with Type 2, in the year 2000 and I am now 75 years of age. We have lived and worked worldwide and enjoyed the many colourful challenges.

As we read more and more of late, loneliness and real stress, not imagined or "can't cope" issues but REAL issues, mainly derived from my dear wife's sudden Acquired Brain Injury issues - Viral Encephalitis, and isolation from friends and family. Our only son lives and works in Hong Kong, where we too lived and worked for 15 years and we were at the epicentre of the frantic social whirl, which is, or at least was, pre-1997, Hong Kong. We had very many lifelong friends....but they are not here in Cambridgeshire!

With all of the other inadvertent demands made of me, I don't find the time to look after myself and this is galling, because all through my flying career (as a pilot/Flight Engineer with major airlines) I always held a full Class 1 Aircrew Medical Certificate....until retirement in 1999 and then the diabetes bombshell hit.

I have started to take notice of the various books which I have purchased from Dr. Michael Mosley and now, the latest one from Dr. D. Unwin and his chef colleague. The inability to take meaningful exercise and "time out" is my stress raiser and killer, in addition to my worries about my dear wife......but if I don't start soon, it'll be too late.

I take the usual meds, plus 14 units of Lantus insulin each day and I think that I have tried to place us on a low(er) carb diet for some time now..........but I find it difficult to give up on my two glasses of Merlot in the evening....it's my only weakness and "need". My usual blood test reading (with the medications) is between 10 and 14 units BGL.

I do hope that I have not overloaded my welcome?

I weigh a steady 12st. 13 llbs and I also suffer with balance problems in my feet due neuropathy.

Thank you and Good Health to you all ! John.

 

[HOBIE]

Welcome John, are you someone who works with wood ? It looks like you do. My sense of hummer ?🙂 Better than an old chippy

 

[John Ashby]

Hello Hobie and Thank you. To answer your question about wood....no I'm afraid that I am useless with wood........I could split an oak tree in half by just looking at it !

I'm a "Hot Oil and Tin" type....aeroplanes and engines and a pilot and aero engineer....at least they "used" to be made of wood !

 

[SueEK]

Hello John and welcome to you. Sounds like you have rather a lot to cope with, though I’m sure you do it willingly. However you must also look after yourself so that you can stay fit and healthy to look after your wife, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I’m not sure that your wine has a huge effect on your blood glucose levels but I may be wrong, there are others far more experienced than I who will give advice if I am wrong. certainly the lower your carbs the better your body will handle your diabetes, perhaps just a couple of potatoes plus lots of veg and meat, your wife can have more. You are fine to have meats and cheese, eggs etc. Your GP should be able to refer you to a dietician which would maybe help you to sort out foods that are quick and easy and suitable for both you and your wife. Sounds like you have had a fascinating life and I’m sorry that now it is harder for you. Are there any groups around you that could be of support and for companionship, another thing you could ask your GP. I do wish you well and please stay in touch with us and let us know how things are going, we are all here to help each other.

 

[CathyB]

Welcome John, you are not so far from me as I live in Suffolk, we also have Hong Kong in common as I lived there for 2 years way back in 1969 to 72, happy memories

 

[KARNAK]

Hi John welcome to the forum.🙂 Drink your wine, the nearest I got to Hong Kong was a very large restaurant in China Town in London. As a Mechanical Technical Engineer (retired) I can appreciate your knowledge, I sympathise with your situation but you have joined a magnificent forum. Please feel free to ask any question to gain knowledge or just rant and rave, your dear wife has a wonderful man to look after her so if you need to talk this is the place to do it. Take care our friend and don`t forget if you can`t look after yourself your dear wife may suffer also.

 

[John Ashby]

Hello SueEK, Thank you for your very kind and considered message, it's very much appreciated. Yes, you got me right on the nose there.............everything I do and everything I think about, is for
Anne's well-being and clinging to the wreckage and staying afloat ! I work closely with my GP and my diabetes nurse...........as much as I am able. In order to care for Anne, I organise my cooking so that she too, follows a much more lo-carb and healthy diet.No apologies for my couple of glasses of red in the evening...............it's my safety valve when everything else, in the worldly sense, has gone. What the Hell !!.............But I'll get to it, never fret, it'll just take me a little time as I simply cannot go "Cold Turkey" !!! No potatoes, no fat, but surprisingly, using butter and full fat milk again. Congratulations on your weight
loss......brilliant ! I don't restrict Anne though and I ensure that she is very well cared for from all angles.
Yes, we have had a wonderful life, from humble beginnings and I would never believed, back in the mid 60's, had we been able to look forward across the years. I have been so blessed to have my Anne supporting me through EIGHT redundancies and 35 house moves, in addition to bringing up our son, Jim, who is a very Senior Airline Pilot/Captain in Hong Kong. Anne was also a Commercial Pilot and Flying Instructor. We built and flew our own award winning WWII replica aeroplane........................and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...I could go on, please forgive me !
Anyway, Sue, thank you so much again for writing. Please stay in touch. With kindest best regards, John.

 

[John Ashby]

Welcome John, you are not so far from me as I live in Suffolk, we also have Hong Kong in common as I lived there for 2 years way back in 1969 to 72, happy memories

Hello Cathy B....very many thanks for your kind message. It's amazing, just up the road from here and yet we were all in dear old "Hongkers" ! We were there from 1984, up to 2002. I flew the last Governor of Hong Kong into Kai Tak when I was still flying B.747s with Cathay Pacific ! As you say, "Very happy memories" and our son Jim is still there and is a Captain on the Airbus A.321, with Hong Kong Dragon Airlines

 

[John Ashby]

Hi John welcome to the forum.🙂 Drink your wine, the nearest I got to Hong Kong was a very large restaurant in China Town in London. As a Mechanical Technical Engineer (retired) I can appreciate your knowledge, I sympathise with your situation but you have joined a magnificent forum. Please feel free to ask any question to gain knowledge or just rant and rave, your dear wife has a wonderful man to look after her so if you need to talk this is the place to do it. Take care our friend and don`t forget if you can`t look after yourself your dear wife may suffer also.

Hi Ted, Many thanks for your kind message and welcome and, as you say, the forum is a wonderful place and full of solace ! You are perfectly right, of course, in that if I don't look after myself, I'll crash and burn, so I need to pull myself together again ! I've enjoyed some Shiraz this evening, with my dear Anne but I'm (we're) well into the low-carb regime now. It's nice to chat with another Engineer ! Most of my Flight Engineer time was spent at 40,000 thousand Ft. and doing 600 mph. Life these days, is very boring. Thank you for your kind words about my care and love for Anne. Take care our friend and please stay in touch. With kind regards, John.

 

[stephknits]

Welcome John - am also nearby in Suffolk, though sadly have never lived in Hong Kong! Glad you found us here on the forum.

 

[John Ashby]

Hello Stephknits ! Many thanks for your kind message and it's good to see such great BGLs for someone with Type 1. I have enough trouble with T2 and I cannot imagine the demands made of you in dealing with T1...but you are obviously doing well. Take care. John.

 

[SueEK]

Nice to hear from you John and I hope you take comfort from the messages of support on the forum, everyone is so lovely and we genuinely care about each other even though we’ve never met. You can tell us all about your exciting life, it sounds fascinating and that your wife was also a pilot and now your son, how proud you must be. My dad was in the RAF but not a pilot and we were stationed in Mauritius when I was a child in the mid 60’s, before it was the expensive holiday destination that it now is, and I used to ride on the giant turtles, so happy memories for me too.
How lucky you are to still have such a wonderful relationship with your lovely lady and I can hear the love through your written word, just don’t forget to take some time for yourself too. Do you have any help such as carers or a day centre so you have a bit of a break. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job and any time you need a bit of an outlet there is always somebody here to listen. I send my warmest wishes to you and your Anne.

 

[CathyB]

Hello Cathy B....very many thanks for your kind message. It's amazing, just up the road from here and yet we were all in dear old "Hongkers" ! We were there from 1984, up to 2002. I flew the last Governor of Hong Kong into Kai Tak when I was still flying B.747s with Cathay Pacific ! As you say, "Very happy memories" and our son Jim is still there and is a Captain on the Airbus A.321, with Hong Kong Dragon Airlines

Amazing! I remember standing on the roof of our flats in Kowloon and waving to the pilots as they flew over to Kai Tak

 

[John Ashby]

Hello Cathy............(Almost "Cathay"...please forgive me the connection ! Yes !...I can recall seeing you waving !! So sad that Kai Tak has now gone............and the old Hong Kong with it. But isn't it nice, to know that you'll always be a Hong Kong "Belonger" !!
Ahh, Nostalgia isn't what it used to be !

 

[John Ashby]

Nice to hear from you John and I hope you take comfort from the messages of support on the forum, everyone is so lovely and we genuinely care about each other even though we’ve never met. You can tell us all about your exciting life, it sounds fascinating and that your wife was also a pilot and now your son, how proud you must be. My dad was in the RAF but not a pilot and we were stationed in Mauritius when I was a child in the mid 60’s, before it was the expensive holiday destination that it now is, and I used to ride on the giant turtles, so happy memories for me too.
How lucky you are to still have such a wonderful relationship with your lovely lady and I can hear the love through your written word, just don’t forget to take some time for yourself too. Do you have any help such as carers or a day centre so you have a bit of a break. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job and any time you need a bit of an outlet there is always somebody here to listen. I send my warmest wishes to you and your Anne.

Hello again Sue, Thank you so much for your kind message and deep and sincere insights. How lovely to have lived on Mauritius before it became a haven for the rich and famous/infamous! I am already revelling in the warmth and genuine feelings of shared emotions with our membership and it has something to do with "Synergy"....You know, the beneficial effects of shared effort and purpose, being greater than that generated by individuals alone ! Please forgive my saying that you are a very kind and perceptive lady and how much I appreciate your kind words with regards to my total and lifelong devotion to my dear Anne..........that devotion is my powerhouse and what sustains me. As you will also be so aware, outside of the diabetes world, folks, no matter how kind, cannot really appreciate the depth of love and devotion which is generated when "our" preoccupations, are coupled with the needs of a dear one who has suffered a terrible illness and related damage....but then again, even more pure love based energy joins forces. In a way, it's rather sad that Anne will never see these words, but, without becoming maudlin, "It goes with the job !"
Over the past nearly five years, we have had a succession of very mediocre "Carers" here, either live in or day care and it's a VERY expensive issue and so frustrating because I often feel like a stranger in our own home....BUT, today, I have signed up with a top class care company and I'll be pleased to pass on details to the membership (via our Moderators, of course if they see fit), if anyone has a similar need. My only real advice is to ensure that any care company, benefits from a Green Flag, as being acknowledged by the Care Quality Commission (CQC)......Please be assured that this is sound and good advice, based on personal experience and with no financial or other self-interest. A major part of our new plan, is that, built into it, will be a lot of "me" time....I just have to get used to the idea ! With very many thanks again Sue and my kindest best regards. John.

 

[CathyB]

Hello Cathy............(Almost "Cathay"...please forgive me the connection ! Yes !...I can recall seeing you waving !! So sad that Kai Tak has now gone............and the old Hong Kong with it. But isn't it nice, to know that you'll always be a Hong Kong "Belonger" !!
Ahh, Nostalgia isn't what it used to be !

Hahaha I used to get teased about that at school 🙄

 

[SueEK]

Hello again John. I’m so pleased to hear that you have enlisted a top class care company, I hope they are all you hope them to be. I guess you will find it difficult to ‘let go’ and take time for yourself to begin with but once you are sure your wife is happy and settled and being taken good care of, then hopefully you can begin to enjoy a little ‘me time’ and enjoy it. You will feel refreshed from doing so. Please keep in touch and let us all know how it all goes and what exciting/mundane things you get up to in your free time. Take care and best wishes

 

[John Ashby]

Hello again John. I’m so pleased to hear that you have enlisted a top class care company, I hope they are all you hope them to be. I guess you will find it difficult to ‘let go’ and take time for yourself to begin with but once you are sure your wife is happy and settled and being taken good care of, then hopefully you can begin to enjoy a little ‘me time’ and enjoy it. You will feel refreshed from doing so. Please keep in touch and let us all know how it all goes and what exciting/mundane things you get up to in your free time. Take care and best wishes

Hello Sue and all, Many thanks for that. Yes, I can't wait to have our own home back again, it'll be lovely. I'm managing to stay on track with my new Low Carb regime...............on the face of it, it seems to be definitely the way to go for T2 types. If anyone else is reading this, especially T2 types, please do take a look at Dr. Unwin's site and related Low Carb info...........it's good stuff ! I've swapped my red wine for G+T, but that can't continue but, one thing at a time ! Watch this space for all of my mundane activities.............Oh, how I wish that we could fly again !! Thank you for your kind words and thoughts, especially with regard to my dear Anne's well-being, which is my reason for being alive but Yes !. I will make a point of a lot more "me" time !........not easy to do but it goes with the job,eh? Take care and kindest regards and best wishes to everyone on the forum. John.

 

[Drummer]

Hello John.
When taking my fizzy vitamins I have been known to add a drop of high spirits just to finish off the day if it has been particularly trying.
Dry wines are OK - in moderation.
I have always been glad that I inherited my father's abilities with engines and my mothers intellect - though looking over the shoulder of the professional fixers and asking 'should that be like that?' didn't make me popular, being a young woman in a manly environment. Dad used to be asked for when other squadrons could not get a plane fixed, back in his RAF days in WWll, and whenever a neighbour's car wouldn't start. I rebuilt a BSA 650cc motorbike in the dining room of my student flat and drove it with a side car - my legs being too short to reach the ground.
I can only recommend eating low carb, as if you avoid sugars and starches then you can eat, or drink, everything else.
It can be amazingly effective, so be wary about diving in too steeply - your need for injected insulin and other medication might reduce rather quickly so do keep testing.

 

[John Ashby]

Hello Drummer, Well, what a cheery and colourful message that is and I thank you wholeheartedy as it is very uplifting and cheery. It was like watching a lively video clip and I could just see you rebuilding your "Beezer" in your flat and then hurtling around on it and with a big grin, no doubt!. My last bike was a 1340 c.c. Harley Davidson, Softail Springer. I LOVED the sound and the feel of that engine and it made the Earth move ! Not to everyone's taste, I know, but I don't care !! It's lovely for you to know that you always had your Dad watching over your shoulder as you worked....and on the pillion, no doubt!
I stayed on civilian aeroplanes as opposed to going into the RAF, though I've always wished that I had joined the latter, but I have lived, flown and worked with hundreds of ex-RAF folks. I started off in a 5-year
"Aircraft Fitter/Rigger" apprenticeship with Hunting Percival in Luton, and thence into the airlines and years of hard flog in gaining my Airframe/Engine licences (A+C) and on the ground side, I worked for the CAA as an Airworthiness Surveyor and examining up and coming engineers for their licences in turn. (After retiring from flying, my wife and I lived in Australia for seven years and during that time, I was "headhunted" by their version of the CAA doing the same job but combining extra duties and assuming Airworthiness and Flight Ops Inspector responsibility for Northern Australia................). but after we had to accept that they were never going to grant us citizenship, despite my senior position, we came home and I'm so glad that we did, because we'd only been back for about a year, when my poor Anne was bowled over by her Acquired Brain Injuries...............and they would have just shipped us back out anyway ! But before Oz, I spent 35 wonderful years, flying worldwide as a Senior Flight Engineer (Commercial aircrew, starting off on the "Big Props" - The Canadair CL44 freighters and then on the Boeing 707, the Airbus A-300, Lockheed Super TriStar and the last ten years, on the Boeing 747-2/300................Wonderful and Anne learned to fly and she was a Commercial Pilot and Flying Instructor in Hong Kong where we enjoyed 15 truly wonderful years. Our son, Jim, also in Hong Kong, is a Senior Airline Captain on Airbus A321's with Hong Kong Dragon Airlines. Anne and I also built and flew our own very accurate flying replica of a WWll German Luftwaffe aeroplane, known as the Fieseler Fi.156 "Storch", which won all the top prizes. (Most folks can't or won't pronounce the name "Fieseler", so that's how I came by my e-mail name of "Fizzler" !)
Life these days, I'm afraid, by comparison, is a case of living in greyscale and with all of my time spent in living, loving and caring for my dear Anne....but it could be far worse!
I am fascinated by the fact that you have joined a Morris Side !!...Wonderful ! I danced with the St. George's Morris in Bahrain and again for many years, with our old chums in the Ashdown Forest Morris Men in West Sussex, where Anne also danced and played her Bowed Psaltery with the Shalesbrook Ladies Morris........a sort of "sister" side, though, as you know, no-one would ever admit it! I look sadly at my battered old D+G Hohner Melodion, which I was always playing and making up new tunes but now the poor old thing is just sitting there and getting older, like me! How we miss our Morris times and friends.
Thank you for your encouragement re: low carbs etc. I'm creeping up on it, as I have the "Won't" power of a lion !...so I can't go "Cold Turkey" overnight but as I mentioned the other day, I've swapped my Merlot or Cab Sav red wine, for some G+T's in the evening.......I need to next cut them back to one or two, from three in due course.
Seriously though, I have completely done away with TONNES of Cheddar cheese, on the hoof, chocolate, crisps and chips and bread, of course, for about three weeks now and I now only have the rare couple of squares of 85% cocoa chocolate but I'm afraid that I shall be forced to share our ONE middle-sized Cadbury's egg on Sunday, with Anne.....but that will be a very rare treat.
I'm so pleased for you in your success story Re: diabetes...many congratulations and perhaps, Remission, down the road a little way?
Thank you so much again for writing and sharing the good times and for using your own example of just what can be achieved, esp. on Low Carbs ! I'll keep testing, never fear!
Take care and kind regards, John.