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New here and terrified

A

Autumn29

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Pronouns
She/Her
Hi everyone.

I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes Christmas 2023 as well as PCOS. (Full whammy of lovely information). I am honestly terrified.

Even though I’ve had a while to digest it, I haven’t. My eating has still been out of control. I suffer with a restrictive eating disorder and then binge eating in circles so I’ve never had a stable relationship with food so I’m struggling a lot to control it. I have severe health anxiety so I just keep thinking about how I’ve shortened my life span, how I’m going to end up with complications etc.
I haven’t told my family because I just feel so embarrassed? I also have a long list of other mental health conditions and I’m getting zero support with it so I just feel completely stuck in this circle. I don’t know what to do anymore.
 
So sorry you are caught in the storm of disordered eating alongside T2 diabetes and PCOS. None of which will be helped by your health anxiety :(

Try not to allow your anxiety to spiral about what may have happened in the past - what matters now is what you do next. It’s possible to live well with diabetes, and it needn’t stop you doing things you enjoy. You just may nee a few tweaks, adjustments and alterations.

Perhaps a good start would be to get a grounding of T2 diabetes information. Perhaps delve into the Learning Zone, or you might like the more personal take of Maggie Davey’s letter:
https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/maggie-daveys-letter-to-newly-diagnosed-type-2s.61307/
 
Hey there @Autumn29 and welcome to the forum!
I just want to start by saying that you are not alone in this, and I’m really sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed right now. Getting a diagnosis like this - especially on top of everything else you’re dealing with - can be a huge emotional weight, and it makes total sense that you’re struggling to process it. Please try to be kind to yourself. There is no "right" way to react, and the fact that you’re here, reaching out, shows that you want to find a way forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
It sounds like you’re stuck in a really tough cycle, and I wonder if it might help to reach out to your GP or a MH professional for some extra support - not just for the diabetes, but for everything else that’s making this feel impossible right now. You absolutely deserve support with your eating struggles, your anxiety, and your emotions around this diagnosis. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. A healthcare professional might be able to help you set a plan that feels manageable and isn’t overwhelming.
I know telling family feels daunting, but if there’s even one person you trust, having someone in your corner could make a real difference. You don’t have to carry this all by yourself.
And please try not to feel embarrassed - this is not your fault. So many people with diabetes have struggled with food and emotions around eating, and you are not alone in that. Right now, all that matters is taking small steps forward, at your own pace, finding something that's manageable and building on top of that. Be gentle with yourself, and know that we’re all here to support you if and when you need it. <3
 
Hey Autumn29
Welcome aboard. You’re not alone, lots of us found the first year(s) really difficult to cope with so you’re in good company here. My advice is to try really hard to give yourself more credit for what you have done. You’re still present and trying, you’re not hiding from it, and you’re here, so you’re brave and already committed to trying to change some things you’re not happy with. Those are all really good things. It’s so easy to focus on what we think we’re not doing and forget that just trying is huge.

I don’t talk about this much, but I have a long history with restrictive eating, and I was terrified when I was diagnosed that it would trigger that for me. If you suffer from disordered eating, I think it’s always just hiding under the surface. For me it’s about control, when I feel out of control it’s my coping mechanism because no matter what else is happening what I put in my mouth is under my control. Having to be really precise about food portions to count carbohydrates really pressed on a nerve or two for me. I’m not cured, not sure I’ll ever be, but I can fight it now that I know what I’m fighting. A huge part of getting to that point was letting go of the urge to criticise myself for not being good enough. I was good enough, I always was good enough and I still am, and the fact that you’re here and still fighting even when it feels impossible means that you are too.

As others have said, one step at a time is the key, and trying to hold on to the belief that you can do it. Then celebrate every tiny step 🙂 and we’ll be your cheerleaders.
 
I don't know if this would be much help to you. I was also struggling as I have a very sweet tooth. I sat with a diabetes nurse and made up menus for 4 weeks. Now I only buy food on my menu and my sugars are back to nearly normal with medication. I wonder if planning a menu might help you
 
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