My manager is a . .

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Hey Viki, hope today's going okay, let us know how s**t for brains is doing today after some arse kicking action from you!😉

Seriously hope all okay.

The wine will be waiting for you when you get home!
 
Viki said:
. . . *insert your own suitabley offensive word here*!!

I today sent my boss an email explaining that i was very sorry but on the first week of January I have a hospital appointment to find out whether i actually do have hypothyroidism and what disasterous effect the last few months of haywire have had on my A1c.

Now ive spoken to him about this in the past because it really upset me when I was first told i might have it and ive suffered with quite a lot of the symptoms since.

Personally i felt it better to tell work about it all rather than them just think i was being a stroppy cow, well stroppier than normal anyway!!

Anyway back to the point. In his wisdom he decided to to respond to my email and COPY IN THE WHOLE REST OF MY TEAM!!! Including my original, detailed explanation of what the hospital had said and what i was about to go through in January.

I feel really angry but more so, really upset and let down. Ive always tried to be really up front about my diabetes and what it means for me and have always felt a little like my manager has never really thought my diabetes is particularly serious and that perhaps it was something i did that brought it on. I often get commenst like, "were you drinking last night" or "did you eat something bad yesterday" if i have a hypo etc.

This latest indescretion just proves how little thought and importance he gives it.

So i know i have to go in tomorrow and deal with it because i feel he has crossed a line this time by not respecting my privacy and breaking my confidence. But i just dont think i should have to and im feeling really fed up. He would never share any of my other team members reason for visiting the hospital/doctor and i dont understand why he thinks its ok for me.

And to top it all off ive just eaten a whole 125g of galaxy which means im going to go to bed with a stupid BG.

😡
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I hope you managed to sort things out with your manager. If not and he is not taking you oe the diabetes seriously, perhaps you should take things further. he did breach your privacy. the man sounds an inconsiderate twit, well I think that is the least he is but I can't print what I really think.

I don't know many people who don't comfort eat when under stress. chocolate is my favourite comfort food.I hope things improve for you in the new year and you feel better.
 
hey viki hope things went ok and you got soemthing sorted
 
Hi guys,

Quick update. Sat with big manager first thing. Talked about email issue and the little comments that are made when im ill etc. He then asked me how I wanted it to be handled.

We decided best course of action was for him to speak to him and then the three of us to sit down together and talk it though. It was a bit awkward but we did, he made it clear that he hadnt meant anything malicious by any of it and I reaffirmed the fact that diabetes and its complications are genetic and therefore not my fault! I also pointed out that when we had our christmas party 2 weeks ago and i got very drunk i was in work the next day (with hangover!) and didnt cry hypo, so didnt need to be interrogated every time i had one.

He was very apologetic, genuinely and we had a convesration about boundaries and sensitivity. Big boss pionting out that because im so open about my condition, preferring to make jokes about the worse parts of it than dwell on it that sometimes it may not be clear to people how much certain things upset me. Which i think is fair. So me and my manager have decided to be a bit more open about it and if he says something ill say there and then if i dont think its ok.

With regards to the email he said it was a genuine error for which he was sorry and could see why i was upset and would not happen again. All in all i think it was the best outcome possible. I aired a few things which have been bugging me and we've preserved what is 90% of the time a very good an friendly working relationship.

My big boss is a very clever man! 🙂
 
That's brilliant, a really good outcome to get it all out in the open without any too formal scary processes started. The big boss sounds like a very good manager. Really hope it's all ok now, and if course if it isn't you've got this to refer back to.

You should have some chocolate to celebrate 😉
 
Sounds like it really went well. I hope that things improve from here and he understands how his comments do actually upset you.

I agree with Aymes, chocolate is in order
 
Viki, glad things have been sorted out and hopefully nothing like that will ever happen again.
 
Great, let's just hope he is as good as his word and not just digging himself from a hole!

At least you have some good ammo if he does anything again, not least his boss :D
 
yahh thats great Viki 🙂 go girl!
 
Great to hear that talking worked, without having to resort to law!
 
Copepod said:
Great to hear that talking worked, without having to resort to law!
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Hey, I've got to try to keep a few ex-colleagues in work haven't I? 😉

Seriously though, always the better option, but only so if both sides keep to the agreement. And in this instance I think he is so far in the wrong your not being direct enough with him isn't an issue.
 
Two of my closest relatives are solicitors, both in commercial / land law, and they're keen to say that good contracts prevent many legal disputes... The other closest relative was a magistrate, so dealt with the criminal side of law...
 
Copepod said:
Two of my closest relatives are solicitors, both in commercial / land law, and they're keen to say that good contracts prevent many legal disputes... The other closest relative was a magistrate, so dealt with the criminal side of law...
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As a retired QC in commercial law, I always preferred negotiation, the problem is that so many people won't enter into a contract for the sake of say ?1,000 so they end up spending thousands emloying people to sort out a mess that could have been avoided - you pay for the lateral thinking at that point to argue a point that doesn't exist.

Such fun, actually the raw negotiation is what I miss so much :(
 
That is good news Viki. I'm glad it worked so well.
 
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