Mr Paranoid back again..

[elwoodlpool]

Hi all not been on for a while had a letter through for a blood test and a review with the nurse in the next two weeks and the paranoia is back in force.. Ive still been watching what i eat but after xmas i have been off the plan a bit ive recently had a lot of stress and ive found myself drinking a bit.. Ive not been drinking heavy but ive done it.. Ive not put weight on either managed to stay 17st since August last year i was nearly 20st, My problem is this im now convinced im gonna be told ive made myself 20 worse and im gonna end up on insulin or tablets. Im really scared again now... like i say so scared and paranoid ive written myself off now..

Mark

 

[AlisonM]

Don't Panic!

This is a routine test that you're due and it doesn't sound to me as though you've been out feasting every night. I'm sure it won't be nearly as bad as you think.

 

[Steff]

Hi Mark nice to see you back posting, i find worrying over every little detail of my diabetes makes me worse if im honest.....Thing i have found with diabetes is if i let it take over my life then it has won and i dont want that...id be putting myself in an early grave if i worried about every appointement or this and that,i know its easy to say as i dont fully know your situation but try and keep positive and not over think everything... take it easy and give yourself a chance you can do this,no matter how hard it is we all have loved ones around us who need up to be strong also..... take care.

 

[Northerner]

Hi Mark, you are a worrier aren't you? 😉 I suspect that the results won't be anywhere near as bad as you are worried they might be. Are you doing regular finger prick testing? If so, what sort of numbers are you getting? Whatever happens, treat it as a fresh start and try to keep looking forward rather than worrying about what may or may not have happened in the past. We all need some time when we can relax a bit more or have other stresses to deal with, so you're only as human as the rest of us 🙂

Try to stay calm - you've done really well keeping the weight off, so be proud of yourself for that. Let us know if we can help, and let us know how things go - don't let them bully you or make you feel guilty, ask what positive steps you can take to manage things better in future.

 

[elwoodlpool]

I know my paranoia is worse than the diabetes... The thing is i build things up before xmas i went for an eye test too thinking i needed glasses as i was going blind. And the opticial told me i dont need glasses. I realise ive gone off the rail a bit as i said ive been under alot of pressure but i have my self down now for being told my liver and kidneys are failing and my diabetes is 20 times worse my head ruins my life sometimes...


Mark

 

[elwoodlpool]

Thank you all.

i just keep thinking im gonna be this blind person in a wheelchair only able to hear my kids voices and never see them grow up (Some of you may laugh at me for this) But i really do get so paranoid. i have eaten 2 bad meals this week and already i think sod it im dying anyway but my diabetes does take over my life.. At xmas i had some cheesecake and after it i felt so guilty it was like i had taken heroin.


I wish i could think straight but the problem for me is now im becoming bored of eating brown bread sandwoiches everyday and fruit and then an evening meal,

I need to hit the gym again too as i said ive not put weight back on but i soon could. I also now have a full time job that involves a lot of lifting and i still also work weekends in the band thats also physical bit i just dont seem to have time to hit the gym.. And i need to keep that up.

Mark

 

[Klocky]

When I'm feeling fed up with it all and find myself thinking too much about the big D - I go off and read the jokes section for a bit - usually works but then again I am very easily distracted 😉

 

[elwoodlpool]

Yeah thats me i think about it and it makes me worse totally

Mark

 

[Andy HB]

Thank you all.

i just keep thinking im gonna be this blind person in a wheelchair only able to hear my kids voices and never see them grow up (Some of you may laugh at me for this) But i really do get so paranoid. i have eaten 2 bad meals this week and already i think sod it im dying anyway but my diabetes does take over my life.. At xmas i had some cheesecake and after it i felt so guilty it was like i had taken heroin.


I wish i could think straight but the problem for me is now im becoming bored of eating brown bread sandwoiches everyday and fruit and then an evening meal,

I need to hit the gym again too as i said ive not put weight back on but i soon could. I also now have a full time job that involves a lot of lifting and i still also work weekends in the band thats also physical bit i just dont seem to have time to hit the gym.. And i need to keep that up.

Mark

First things first, it's good to see that you've got another job! 🙂

Secondly, I see absolutely nothing wrong having something nice to eat at least once a week. It is normal behaviour and won't cause any long term problems (even if it was a whole cheesecake (just expressing an extreme there, I'm not saying that you did!) - just don't do THAT once a week!). I, myself, indulged in a fairly large fish, chips and mushy peas just a few days ago.

Andy

 

[elwoodlpool]

I cant thank you all enough on here i really apreciate all the comments and i feel easier now thanks all but i do realise i have over done it a bit on the alcohol. So thats gettting knocked on the head.. I hust always think Mark your not gonna be around for your kids.. And that hurts so bad..

Mark

 

[Andy HB]

I cant thank you all enough on here i really apreciate all the comments and i feel easier now thanks all but i do realise i have over done it a bit on the alcohol. So thats gettting knocked on the head.. I hust always think Mark your not gonna be around for your kids.. And that hurts so bad..

Mark

I'm looking for my photocopier again. And I'm sure that you know why! 🙂

 

[am64]

Hi ellwood !! funny i was wondering about you the other day when a blues bro cd came in the shop ! nice to see ya back
firstly well done on keeping the wieght off ! secondly i get would up as well before appointments and usually come out very relieved
have you talked to your team about the paranoia ?

 

[elwoodlpool]

I'm looking for my photocopier again. And I'm sure that you know why! 🙂

You have me there ??? And no Am i have not spoke to them yet about the paranoia i should really,,

Mark

 

[Northerner]

You have me there ??? And no Am i have not spoke to them yet about the paranoia i should really,,

Mark

I think you should Mark, I get the impression it is affecting you more than the diabetes itself.

 

[Robster65]

Hi Mark.

Strangely, like Am, we were thinking of you the other day too (I know, but it's true ! 🙄). It sound slike you are living a normal diabetic life, even slightly healthier than average.

As said, they will be just doing routine tests and stuff which is all to the good, since non-diabetics don't get the attention we do and certainly dont live as concientiously. Think of the difference between how you were and how you are now, even with a couple of nice meals inside you. I bet you don't look a bit like you did and must feel better in yourself.

Your biggest gain would be from trying to speak to a trained counsellor about your irrational thinking (sorry, it's what it's called) which is clearly a pattern every time you think about your diabetes, you worry it's going to be the worst news ever. It never has been, so you're stressing out for no reason whatsoever, which is the thing that will give you health problems.

The best news ever would be for you to be free of your paranoia so you can take things in your stride and see ordinary check-ups for what they are. It may surprise you, but you've made a big impression on many of us.

Take care of yourself Mark. 🙂

Rob

 

[elwoodlpool]

I agree it is it gets me in real bad states sometimes the paranoia....
and ive never suffered with it as bad as i have since i was diagnosed...


I will talk to them about it..

Mark

 

[Andy HB]

You have me there ??? And no Am i have not spoke to them yet about the paranoia i should really,,

Mark

I keep betting you a copy of some currency or other that things will turn out OK. So far, I haven't been too bad a judge. 🙂

But you should talk to someone about how you're feeling. You won't give yourself the chance to get better if you don't (probably).

Andy 🙂

 

[elwoodlpool]

Its kicking in again today after coming on here and posting yesterday i have comne home from work and im convinced now that im living on borrowed time, All of a sudden i just get hit with total paranoia... I keepo asking myself why am i tourturing myself.. Its not as bad as yesterday but today i feel really upset and scared again..

Mark

 

[novorapidboi26]

Hey man,

Have you went to see anyone about you paranooid episodes, ususally talking to us, other diabetics, is enough to calm you down.......

Borrowed time is nonsense, the body is very resilient under lots of abuse which i am sure your not putting it through.....

Would you say your someone who is scared of death in general becuase thats another issue which we all have but to different severities.......

 

[Northerner]

Its kicking in again today after coming on here and posting yesterday i have comne home from work and im convinced now that im living on borrowed time, All of a sudden i just get hit with total paranoia... I keepo asking myself why am i tourturing myself.. Its not as bad as yesterday but today i feel really upset and scared again..

Mark

Mark, this is a serious problem for you, and one that you can get help with from the professionals. Don't feel that you should be able to pull yourself out of feeling like this on your own, there's no shame in it - talk to a specialist, or start by asking your GP what help is available. Get the ball rolling and you'll probably feel a little better purely from starting on the quest to solve the problem.