Sadly having diabetes is a marathon, 24/7 with no days off for good behaviour. It is also something that we can take control of and do a lot to avoid the complications that may result. If you lapse put it behind you and see the next day as a fresh start. You can and will do it but it won't be easy. When I feel a bit fed up, and we all do from time to time, I remember going to visit my husband in hospital where although not diabetic, he had been put in a ward with three other people who had diabetes. One had just lost a leg, another had foot removed and the doctors were battling to save the foot of the third. A sharp shock for me. Do come on the forum and find the lovely people who will help and encourage you as they have done for me. I would never have managed without their support. Good luck and just keep trying, you really don't want to suffer any of the complications. We are all here for you. Please don't give up.