Mother not taking condition seriously - regulary over 20mmol. Any options?

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Inka said:
That’s not what burnout is and I wouldn’t really call it a mental health condition. It’s absolute exhaustion from dealing with all the diabetes jobs. It’s not deciding you don’t want to be diabetic.
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well not exactly(sorry that was badly phrased) but yeah i know its when you're so exhausted(perishes not not mental heartt condition but that cames into it.) sorry yes i relised now i didn;t choice my words wiselly i should have said comepply fed it. and exthussted . i think i did go though a small period of it when i was not active of on this forum for whille but your thought i should have worded more carfefully..
 
I don't know if shock treatment would work but the complications of poorly controlled diabetes (and a modicum of bad luck) are serious and extremely unpleasant. I lost a leg (and the second one is in danger) after over 50 years of Type I. In Limb Fitting and Amputee Physiotherapy I have met a number of people who have lost a leg after less than ten years of Type II. Locally where I used to live a young mother lost bit legs and an arm. In an interview she said despite her BGs being constantly in the 20s she felt well. Add in other complications like blindness and kidney failure , and the outlook is not good!
 
What focused my mind was that my father passed away when I was 11 from the combination of diabetes and a heart attack and I have seen people when my other half was in hospital with amputations and other complications as a result of diabetes. One chap was refusing treatment until his son said to him that if he continued to refuse he was on his own and not coming back to live with him, needless to say he had his treatment.
There was no way I would want to put my OH or daughters in a position of having to be my carer.
It is a harsh reality that complications can happen even if people are taking care but more so if not.
It must be very frustrating for you.
 
rayray119 said:
There's a thing called diabetiic burn out wheres people can stop doing things they need to do as fed up(its more then that but i stuggling to desribing it probllerply) pherherps that a possiibity?.
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good way to describe it. It really goes against the flow. Having to be mindful every time you ear ir do things . I really know where mum comes from.
 
Really sorry to hear about your mother's situation and your own very real concerns about it. It is hard enough to manage your own diabetes without worrying about supporting a very close relative who is ignoring theirs.

You know your mother best. What motivates her? What does she enjoy and what are her biggest fears? Can you approach it with those things in mind?

I was a sugar addict and bread and potato monster pre diagnosis, but the guilt and shame of developing diabetes through a bad diet helped me to turn things around. Too late of course, but it continues to motivate me to keep on top of my diet and diabetes management. I used those negative thoughts to have a positive effect and I don't regret those negative thoughts because I don't think I would be doing nearly so well now if I hadn't felt like that. So for me that was the kick up the pants I needed. Cutting carbs has made a huge difference to the carvings I was experiencing and whilst I could easily slide back, I know that I can't afford to, even though I am Type 1 and on insulin, it isn't a licence to indulge.
I agree with others that she needs some sort of shock to wake her from her indifference. In your situation I would think about what would be most likely to motivate her, whether it be something positive or negative (carrot or stick). Are there other areas of her life which are making her feel depressed and want the sugar/comfort foods. If she is/was a mental health nurse she should recognize depression, self harm and addiction and it sounds to me like maybe those may be issues for her. Obviously I don't know her so that is a big assumption on my part.
Can you encourage her to do more exercise as that reduces the cravings.

Perhaps think of something to give her a reason to live rather than slowly killing herself as she is at the moment. Would she be horrified at the thought of going blind or losing her independence. Is she expecting you to look after her if she were to lose her sight or a limb? How would she feel if you were a drug addict and killing yourself with drugs? She would want to help you to get clean I would imagine so she should understand you worrying about her and wanting to help.

Sorry, lots of jumbled thoughts there not very coherently put together. I think the key thing is to start off telling her how much you love and care about her and how worried you are. She is a medical professional so she must know that levels that high long term are very detrimental. Ask her what is her plan when she starts getting complications like excruciating neuropathy or blindness or kidney damage or ulcers etc.

Good luck, waking her up from her indifference and finding some focus and self discipline.
 
StephenUK said:
She lives as though she isn't diabetic.
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A question for anyone reading this thread (genuine question).

Is it possible (type 2) to live like you are not diabetic without ill effects? I only ask because some people smoke all their lifes and live into old ago without too many issues.
 
That depends what you call “living” @Amity Island Yes, some people with Type 2 can ignore it, especially if their blood sugar isn’t too high, but it will probably get worse and they’ll get complications, possibly leading to disability and a shortened lifespan. You only have to watch some of those US programmes about people who ignore their Type 2 to see the effects. So yes, they’re still alive but not living in a way most people would want.

This lady has very high blood sugar, so the OP’s concerns are completely valid. She’s at risk of a plethora of complications as time goes on.
 
It is an interesting question. I suppose it is a bit like asking if some people survive Russian Roulette! The odds get longer the longer you play!
 
rebrascora said:
It is an interesting question. I suppose it is a bit like asking if some people survive Russian Roulette! The odds get longer the longer you play!
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I guess lots (lots and lots) of people have undiagnosed diabetes, so technically, it is technically possible (to live without showing any ill effects), not something you'd knowingly want to do of course.
 
Amity Island said:
I guess lots (lots and lots) of people have undiagnosed diabetes, so technically, it is technically possible (to live without showing any ill effects), not something you'd knowingly want to do of course.
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I think because it usually creeps up slowly, many people don't realise how rough they feel until they are treated and feel better. I know I put some symptoms down to getting older and the menopause (I had never experienced this stage of life so it was a reasonable assumption) and I am sure many others do, but it isn't until you are treated and feel better that you know it wasn't normal. I now start to feel lethargic at 10 and my arms and legs start to feel heavier and it is harder to exercise at this level. Up at 20 it will be making everyday tasks more difficult I am sure, even if there are not yet any serious complications. Of course, the more lethargic you feel, the less you want to do and the more you want to eat and it is hard to break that cycle.
I am guessing that some of those undiagnosed people end up having heart attacks or stokes and that is when it comes to light and of course those are complications of uncontrolled diabetes too.
 
I argue with the above I put my symptoms dowm to the fact it was very hot summer and I had started a new job
 
Amity Island said:
A question for anyone reading this thread (genuine question).

Is it possible (type 2) to live like you are not diabetic without ill effects? I only ask because some people smoke all their lifes and live into old ago without too many issues.
Click to expand...
Yes in a way - I always felt so much better when I could get away with eating low carb - but I was pushed to eat 'a healthy diet' which meant lots of brown carbs and potatoes etc.
Today my breakfast was avocados, dates and eggs with creamy coffee, and if the alternative was breakfast cereal with semi skimmed milk and ordinary coffee I would not be in the holiday spirit at the moment.
My father's mother died a horrible death from the complications of diabetes and their treatment, and I was there in the house as we moved in to look after her and the family almost fell apart under the strain.
I am 72 years old now and find that memories of that time, even though it over 65 years ago keep me from making bad mistakes. At 7 years from diagnosis I could probably eat more carbs, but I feel so well and am still active, going out to sing and play music several times a week that it seems unwise to push my luck in that way.
 
Amity Island said:
I guess lots (lots and lots) of people have undiagnosed diabetes, so technically, it is technically possible (to live without showing any ill effects), not something you'd knowingly want to do of course.
Click to expand...

I think those people have lower high blood sugars, if that makes sense. So they might be pootling along between 8 and 12, which isn’t ideal, but with very high blood sugar comes higher risks along with things like this:

Hyperosmolar Hyperglycaemic State (HHS)

Hyperosmolar Hyperglycaemic State (HHS) occurs in people with type 2 diabetes who experience very high blood glucose levels (often over 40mmol/l). It can develop over a course of weeks through a combination of illness (e.g.infection) and dehydration. Some people who don’t realise they have type...
www.diabetes.org.uk www.diabetes.org.uk

Also, those with very high sugars will probably be in worse health - thrush, infections, etc - so their diabetes will be picked up whereas people whose blood sugar is less raised won’t.
 
Inka said:
I think those people have lower high blood sugars, if that makes sense. So they might be pootling along between 8 and 12, which isn’t ideal, but with very high blood sugar comes higher risks along with things like this:

Hyperosmolar Hyperglycaemic State (HHS)

Hyperosmolar Hyperglycaemic State (HHS) occurs in people with type 2 diabetes who experience very high blood glucose levels (often over 40mmol/l). It can develop over a course of weeks through a combination of illness (e.g.infection) and dehydration. Some people who don’t realise they have type...
www.diabetes.org.uk www.diabetes.org.uk

Also, those with very high sugars will probably be in worse health - thrush, infections, etc - so their diabetes will be picked up whereas people whose blood sugar is less raised won’t.
Click to expand...
Interesting point @Inka that unless you have higher levels of high blood sugar, you are less likely to be diagnosed and as you say can be pooting along.
 
@StephenUK You do not say if you currently live with your mother as if not then inviting her to your house and cooking meals that would be suitable for her and you to show her that they can be tasty and filling without all those carbs which are doing the damage and have the diet version of the drinks she would have the full sugar and see if she notices a difference.
Does she drive and value the independence it gives her as if she starts to suffer from the unpleasant consequences of high blood glucose then she may lose her eyesight and feeling in her feet and legs and that will restrict her mobility and ability to work if she still does so.
I am surprised your dramatic diagnosis with DKA hasn't put the fear of God into her that the same could happen to her.
 
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