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Losing Myself

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Farm Mom

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
My son was diagnosed at 16 this was 2 years ago. He also suffers from anxiety.
I am struggling with his diabetes as I seem to worry more than he does. His average sugars are 10 and HbaC1 66.
I feel so scared for the future and I’m losing myself along the way. With constant worry about him.
He won’t listen about what he eats or exercise. Is this something I have to just let him pass through.

Should I just try and switch off from it all?
Any advice welcome
 
Thank you. He is a teen who is not interested in finding out more or mixing. I have offered to go to things with him but he just refuses. All he wants to do is farm and be with his girlfriend. How were you as a teen ? I’m presuming you had less idea of levels back then so in some ways we are in a better place nowadays?
 
Thank you. He is a teen who is not interested in finding out more or mixing. I have offered to go to things with him but he just refuses. All he wants to do is farm and be with his girlfriend. How were you as a teen ? I’m presuming you had less idea of levels back then so in some ways we are in a better place nowadays?
My mum had heard the negatives (horror stories.) and was sad for me. Family dynamics changed.
I picked this up as a kid. (Even when you are shielded from it.)
Your son has a respectable interest in farming & he has a girlfriend too. I have hope for him.
When I was about your son’s age I had “one of those talks” with my mum. (Condoms & needles. The 1980s.)
She also levelled with me regarding how she felt when I was diagnosed? I wish I’d mentioned years earlier it’s no one’s fault.

Mum’s never seem to stop caring. Mine can’t remember what I got anymore, but her essence is still there.
She taught me to share the care. 🙂
 
Aww, bless you, it’s hard when it’s your child isn‘t it. Unfortunately he’s at an age when he’s discovering his own ways of doing things and won’t appreciate parental input all the time. My daughter is 17 now and I’m just trying to let her get on with it on her own, they have to find their own way (and unfortunately sometimes that means learning the hard way). My daughter was diagnosed 11 years ago so I’ve had much more time to come to terms with it, but it took me a while in the beginning to learn to relax. It’s also hard now not to comment every time I hear a Dexcom alarm going off, but I do try!

All you can do is be there for him if he needs it, and try not to nag in the meantime. Make sure you talk to him about things other than diabetes and don’t ask him about it all the time. You’ve offered to go to appointments but he doesn’t want to you to, so don‘t push it. What about his girlfriend, does she understand the situation? Maybe he’d prefer her to go with him? Or maybe he just wants to deal with it his way, and if he’s 18 there’s not much you can do about that I don’t think. You could try having a word with the girlfriend, but if that doesn’t go down well then best to leave it be.

Try to learn not to obsess about it, I know that’s hard but take it a day at a time. Blood sugars of 10 are not ideal but they aren’t terrible either. Same with the HbA1c, my mum’s is higher than that and she just carries on happily! Not that I’d recommend that, but it’s her body her diabetes, and as a DSN once said to me, “there’s no point trying to manage everything perfectly if that’s all you think about, you have to enjoy life as well.” Try to step back and let him do it his own way, and he’ll be fine. It sounds like he’s not passing out all over the place or repeatedly being admitted to hospital, so it could be a lot worse!
 
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