Sue _ I remember it well - and it hasn't ever surprised me to read that various people who I regard as fairly normal, intelligent people 'like me' - have nearly ALL gone through the same thing that I did.
Perhaps I sounded a bit extra forlorn about it at the time Sue? - at that time 4+ years ago it was only a couple of years really since I'd recovered from having a complete mental breakdown - which I now lay firmly at the door of a number of things at the time, the straw that actually broke this camel's back being the terrible affect that statins had on my brain - so when I found this here pump thing didn't appear to be complying with the diabetes intuition I'd gained over the previous 3+ decades - I really felt the wind , which I'd only just managed to regain again - had been taken out of my sails - and I DID feel like chucking it in the bin.
BUT when I actually sat down and had a talk to myself using logic - instead of emotion - and asked myself if I REALLY wanted to be beaten by a few bits of plastic and some electronics - of course the answer was a very definite NO !! Which was the point when I said to you, Sue - Thanks - but No thanks - this is something I NEED to work through on my OWN. Essential for my own sanity - any benefit to my diabetes was almost secondary really - just an added bonus - should it actually benefit at all !
Well it did benefit. And it still does !! I'm now on under 9u a day of basal - instead of 18 or 20u. My A1c continues to hover at high 6s, sometimes like 7.1 - today's result was 52 - and I can't say I've been trying that hard, frankly, due to various 'just life' reasons my eye has been quite off the diabetes ball. I'm happy with that, it seems to suit me. Hypos are rare, and frustratingly usually because I'm late eating in the evening and just forget to allow for it - but we're only talking middle 3s anyway - not dangerous ones.
It's just mind over matter sometimes, Bessie - but it IS logical - every bit of it - so you WILL get there - but only if YOU want to !