Hi
@Loopylou and
@Callyc .
I hope you don’t mind me replying to your thread, as I’m not a parent of a child with diabetes, but thought I’d reply from a different perspective. Parents have already given you lots of wise words.
I was diagnosed in the 1970s when I was 11, so a similar age to your son. I think (maybe through rose tinted glasses) that I kind of got on with it, all the worrying left to my mum...that’s what mums do with regard to their children...diabetes or not.
I’m sure you try to keep it from him, but does your son know how stressed and worried you are? Could this have a bearing on his current feelings? I can only imagine how difficult it is not to have someone to talk through your day today decisions with regard to his diabetes. Does he feel that he has some responsibility for his condition? Ok you can go out and play for x amount of time, but here’s the reader (phone) for your Libre and here are snacks for your other pocket? I’m trusting you to scan your arm every ...however often you say. Does he chat to his mates? As hard as it is, it’s important to treat him as the same boy...who happens to have diabetes. Maybe his friends would like to chat to him but feel he doesn’t want to? It is also important for you to chat to someone too...ask DSN, they will definitely have other parents in the same position.
My parents were very much into not treating me differently (we all hate feeling different at that age) and were very keen that I joined in and wasn’t left out of anything. (Brown Owl was left in no doubt about this!
🙂). However, for many years my mum would sometimes ask if I had snacks etc, what did I have for lunch etc in front of friends...I hated this. Even now when my husband sometimes asks what my test is it annoys me. I think we like to know our loved ones are there for us,but don’t need like being nagged. It’s a tricky line.
We are mums and wired to worry for our children. My children are now in their 20s but I still want to give them advice. The trick I used / use with my son, to get the message across, whether it was at college, first few months of driving, off to a festival, was to make a joke and say I have to tell him “xyz” as it’s in paragraph 4 , chapter 9 of the mothers manual and if I don’t tell him, I’m failing in my motherly duties and won’t get the good mother’s certificate. I can see him smiling and shaking his head...but he has recently admitted it kind of works.
As others have said 100% perfection is impossible. Even non diabetic sugars can jump about a little. It can be days, weeks, months that extra bit of tweaking needs doing...it’s not getting things wrong, it’s life. Somewhere on the forum there’s a list of 42 things that can affect our sugar levels...so don’t beat yourself up. After 40+ years I’m still learning...but fingers crossed mostly getting it right. With all the latest tech it’s getting easier all the time.
There is no need to feel sad about the life your child might have had. There’s no reason for them not to have exactly the same future, maybe even a better one. Top flight professional sports, Hollywood actors, prime ministers, all sorts of professions, hobbies, pastimes....diabetes won’t stop him...may just take a few extra minutes here and there along the way.
@Callyc I understand your daughters reluctance regarding the Libre...even in my late 40s I didn’t like the thought of it, but it is so helpful. For the first couple of years a did try and hidden it a little...but then found some stickers to attach, weirdly it now doesn’t feel like a medical device and I’m quite happy for it to be on show. I wonder if this may help your daughter...I’m sporting Winnie the Pooh currently. Endless stickers available on Etsy, Amazon and elsewhere no doubt.
Anyway, what a ramble, apologies. I will be an another annoying person to say you will get there...the bumps will get smaller along this learning curve...but you will honest. Before you know it you will be here offering words of wisdom to others.
Xx