Last chance

[Inka]

?, diabetes the annoying prick companion would get stabbed in the face and left to die. It's nothing to do with me.

But you can’t do that at the moment. You can’t get rid of the diabetes yet but you can downgrade it in your mind - crucially, without handing it the power.

If you did stab your annoying companion fatally, you’d certainly have dealt with the annoyance but you’d be spending your life in prison, so throwing away your freedom. Kind of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

There’s a middle way here @spell

 

[Satan’s little helper]

just living off background insulin from the pump.

Hello, they funded a pump for you. Sorry to sound like the “the four Yorkshiremen,” I can seriously only dream of a pump. Where is “it” going “not quite right” for you?

 

[spell]

Hello, they funded a pump for you. Sorry to sound like the “the four Yorkshiremen,” I can seriously only dream of a pump. Where is “it” going “not quite right” for you?

A relentless hatred for this curse is where it's not going right for me

 

[Satan’s little helper]

A relentless hatred for this curse is where it's not going right for me

When you say “relentless,” how long has this been? (I’m not the “happy clappy” type, myself.)

 

[spell]

When you say “relentless,” how long has this been? (I’m not the “happy clappy” type, myself.)

45 years. Handed this bag of p*ss in 1979 aged 12

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

You have been stuggling to find motivation for a while now @spell

And I’m sorry things are still so difficult for you.

Unfortunately, I think trying to disengage as you are is possibly making you feel worse not better. As @Inka says, elevated glucose levels can negatively impact mood, emotions, and give rise to physical symptoms too like tiredness, fatigue, and feeling drained.

Plus the long-term outcomes are not ideal either. And could add additional burdens, conditions, and negative impacts.

I don’t know what to suggest to help you begin to turn things around but whatever you can do is worthwhile. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

You really should be able to get some psychological help and support - though I suspect that may not be easy for you to access.

 

[Satan’s little helper]

45 years. Handed this bag of piss in 1979 aged 12

“Some guy on the internet” here. (Take or leave.) mid 70s for me.
It’s not the best. But I knew back in the day I don’t know what I wanted in life. (Least any “plan.” ) we as T1s have the means/or tools to play at managing this condition better than throwing to the wind something far worse?

 

[Inka]

A relentless hatred for this curse is where it's not going right for me

And what would you be doing if you didn’t spend your time and energy on hating the diabetes? I’m not being facetious. Think about it. You spend far more time than me thinking about it. Do you think it’s an easy target for your understandable feelings of upset and anger?

 

[spell]

And what would you be doing if you didn’t spend your time and energy on hating the diabetes? I’m not being facetious. Think about it. You spend far more time than me thinking about it. Do you think it’s an easy target for your understandable feelings of upset and anger?

It is without a doubt the easiest target. At least hate and anger towards it is not hurting anyone else

 

[Inka]

It is without a doubt the easiest target. At least hate and anger towards it is not hurting anyone else

Just you…. Don’t punish yourself @spell