I've fallen off the wagon

[Jimbo]

I've fallen off the wagon, my will power has totally vanished.
I had lost almost four stone and was feeling very pleased with my progress.
However, I was, in my opinion, not living but merely surviving, I don't drink , don't smoke and my only real vice was sweet treats ( I know, I should have been born female for that one vice alone. ), so allowed myself to have either a chocolate digestive or a Fox's golden crunch as a treat each night as I was doing so well. I then lost interest in control as one became two and then three, plus whatever else took my fancy (usually white bread), it seems like the wrong food has become my heroin. If I liked the correct food stuffs that would help enormously too, but I am such a fussy eater.
I have now crept back up to 15 and a half stone and feel disgusted and ashamed with myself. So much so, that I haven't seen my DSN since before April, I can't face being berated by her even though I richly deserve it. My numbers are probably through the roof.
I can't blame anyone but myself, I now have the less stressful job I needed, my kids say I seem happier and more relaxed, I am still walking around ten miles a week as my exercise routine, which is not as much as I used to but still plenty. I used to do about 15-20 miles a week but my new job is much more physical than my old one where I sat at a desk all day. So I thought that, that would compensate for the reduction.
I know I am killing myself slowly and in one of the nastiest ways possible but no amount of emotional blackmail seems to help.
I'm apologise for this diatribe (whine) but what I need are any ideas or suggestions that you use to get past the cravings.
Thanks!

 

[Monica]

I've fallen off the wagon, my will power has totally vanished.
I had lost almost four stone and was feeling very pleased with my progress.
However, I was, in my opinion, not living but merely surviving, I don't drink , don't smoke and my only real vice was sweet treats ( I know, I should have been born female for that one vice alone. ), so allowed myself to have either a chocolate digestive or a Fox's golden crunch as a treat each night as I was doing so well. I then lost interest in control as one became two and then three, plus whatever else took my fancy (usually white bread), it seems like the wrong food has become my heroin. If I liked the correct food stuffs that would help enormously too, but I am such a fussy eater.
I have now crept back up to 15 and a half stone and feel disgusted and ashamed with myself. So much so, that I haven't seen my DSN since before April, I can't face being berated by her even though I richly deserve it. My numbers are probably through the roof.
I can't blame anyone but myself, I now have the less stressful job I needed, my kids say I seem happier and more relaxed, I am still walking around ten miles a week as my exercise routine, which is not as much as I used to but still plenty. I used to do about 15-20 miles a week but my new job is much more physical than my old one where I sat at a desk all day. So I thought that, that would compensate for the reduction.
I know I am killing myself slowly and in one of the nastiest ways possible but no amount of emotional blackmail seems to help.
I'm apologise for this diatribe (whine) but what I need are any ideas or suggestions that you use to get past the cravings.
Thanks!

OOOOh yes, you sound just like me😉. Luckily I'm not diabetic, but could do with losing some weight.
Tell your other half not to buy any "treats" or if she has to for the kids' sake, hide them. If there aren't any biscuits or chocolates in the house, you can't eat them. I usually buy treats for the girls that I don't like, so I'm not tempted to eat them myself.

But well done for losing four and a half stone in the first place!!

 

[Northerner]

Sorry to hear this Jimbo, but glad you came and wrote about it. It sounds like you need to find some sort of replacement for the sweet stuff that will satisfy your cravings without affecting your weight and blood sugars too much. I can understand that you feel you deserve at least one vice or comfort as reward for all your efforts, but the reality is, as you have found, diabetes is not that forgiving. The sweet stuff, if not taken sparely, will cause a big response from your troubled pancreas and the insulin will mop up that glucose and store it as fat. White bread is actually worse than sugar. As Monica says, you need support from your family to keep these things out of reach - get everyone to join you in eating the 'right' stuff 🙂

I used to 'graze' all day long and never thought that would change, but I've found that now, two years in, my palate has changed and I no longer need a constant supply of sugar - biscuits, sweets etc. It can happen, but you need to give it time. Try and find healthy things that you like - try new things that you maybe never ate before and you might find something good to replace the biscuits.

How about starting off by making a food diary? If possible, get an appointment with a dietician so you can go through it. And do see your doctor or nurse please - bite the bullet and take the 'beating' so you can start a clean slate and put this lapse behind you!

 

[Robster65]

Hi Jimbo.

I don't know your full situation, but well done for losing four stone. That's a major acheivement for starters.
Don't see yourself as a failure. You've taken a breather from the uphill struggle but you're not quite at the summit yet.
Instead of the nightly treat, which is putting temptation in your way every day, how about being really careful and then once a week treating yourself to a special meal or treat. That way you still have a reward to look forward to but it's only going to be there at the end of each 'leg'.
Everyone here's been in the same position at some point so we all know how hard it is to change the habits of a lifetime overnight. Luckily, the human body is quite forgiving and can put up with the odd hiccup.
I hope you can pull yourself up again and find the motivation to start your diet and exercise so you can start another thread boasting how much weight you've lost and the rest of us feel rotten !! 🙄

Rob

 

[am64]

jimbo i m am so impressed that you came and posted rather than hide away beating yourself up ! You have done soooo well and its great that you got a new job and your family saying you are much more relaxed... and we ALL blip.... we ALL do it ...but i know you will haul yourself up back on that ole wagon ...you started the first step by posting here ...please go back to your DSN and put your hands up ...tell them you dont want to be told off you want some positive help x🙂

 

[Jimbo]

jimbo i m am so impressed that you came and posted rather than hide away beating yourself up ! You have done soooo well and its great that you got a new job and your family saying you are much more relaxed... and we ALL blip.... we ALL do it ...but i know you will haul yourself up back on that ole wagon ...you started the first step by posting here ...please go back to your DSN and put your hands up ...tell them you dont want to be told off you want some positive help x🙂

Thank you everybody, for your support and kindness, I know I need to make changes, I am just finding it very difficult to adjust.
At first, the initial fright of diagnoses gave me the motivation to make changes and make the effort, then I became blase... I suppose I was in denial.
It couldn't have happened to me, but it had and I didn't want to know. The weight increase has made me realise that I can't ignore it, it won't go away, I have to take positive steps to permenantly change my life style.
am64, you said you were impressed by my post , but I confess I have been hiding for months, I only started worrying when the weight gain became obvious.
You are all right about one thing though, I will need to go back to the DSN, face the music and move on.
Thanks again folks.

 

[am64]

when i was first dx i was soooo good ...for about 9 months then last summer came and i fell off the wagon too... gained all my weight back and hid ..then found this place last sept ...i am now slowly making the changes and learning new stuff ...i am settling realistic goals such as loosing 1/2 stone and keeping it off by christmas (i need to loose 1 1/2 stone in total) ...i think what happens jimbo is that at first it falls off quickly and is noticable ...then there's the plateau and then denial ....then where can we go ??? no choice start again gradually but surely regaining control so it becomes everyday life ...
i am impressed that you posted as it shows you are admitting things...🙂 and can now start a plan ( a cunning plan maybe!) to get back on track

 

[ladyengineer]

Thank you everybody, for your support and kindness, I know I need to make changes, I am just finding it very difficult to adjust.
At first, the initial fright of diagnoses gave me the motivation to make changes and make the effort, then I became blase... I suppose I was in denial.
It couldn't have happened to me, but it had and I didn't want to know. The weight increase has made me realise that I can't ignore it, it won't go away, I have to take positive steps to permenantly change my life style.
am64, you said you were impressed by my post , but I confess I have been hiding for months, I only started worrying when the weight gain became obvious.

I want to thank you for this post. It's good to read something where I can nod in agreement because I've had the same feelings of denial and not wanting to face up to being diabetic. You've done something good because I don't feel like such a failure and want to pick myself up and start again. I guess that this wont be the last re-start but in the grand scheme of things re-starting has got to be better than a lifetime of denial and hiding!

 

[Jimbo]

I will keep my fingers crossed that it is indeed, a "cunning plan"

 

[Jimbo]

I want to thank you for this post. It's good to read something where I can nod in agreement because I've had the same feelings of denial and not wanting to face up to being diabetic. You've done something good because I don't feel like such a failure and want to pick myself up and start again. I guess that this wont be the last re-start but in the grand scheme of things re-starting has got to be better than a lifetime of denial and hiding!

Amen to that!
Its encouraging to find that you're not alone and you can always get help and support on this site.

 

[wallycorker]

.............At first, the initial fright of diagnoses gave me the motivation to make changes and make the effort, then I became blase... I suppose I was in denial............

Hi Jim,

Sorry to hear about your loss of motivation, I hope that you will be able to get it back.

Diagnosis didn't ever really frighten me but the possibility of diabetic complications does. I have a friend who was already on kidney dialysis but recently underwent surgery to amputate both his feet. He's still in hospital and I'm not certain when he'll get out.

Avoiding his situation is a very strong motivating factor to me!

Good luck and best wishes - John