In despair.

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Steff

Steff

Little Miss Chatterbox
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I have been hit with my depression again and it aint good, ive been a silly girl again and stopped taking my tablets, i know i know before you all start but try being in my head for 24 hours and you will know why,i know so many can relate so i just wanted to let it all out, my other half is a brilliant guy and i love him to bits but when im like this he is at a loss as to what to do and he and i just end up rowing because he gets on my nerves, i really dont want to go down the route i was 2 years ago being to down and scared to even lift my head from the pillow on the morning but today was god dam hard and i have these feelings that im just trapped in this downward spiral my diabetes is ruling me and i swore it would never do that but here i am now letting it take over.They is nothing i can do but keep it under control but some days i just want to give up the will to live.I pray to god these feelings go away.Please someone tell me what i can do i hate being this way.Why is it i can offer all the help in the world to so many on here but when it comes to myself im such a loser.
 
Oh Steff, big hug!

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this, but believe me you are definitely not a loser, you are able to help so many people on here and that is invaluable. I think the trouble is it is hard to see the bigger picture when it comes to your own problems, and hard to get the clarity that you can when you're talking about someone elses problems.

I am sure you have come a long way from where you were 2 years ago, the fact that you have admitted all of this on here is a big step.

Why don't you try talking to your GP about seeing a counsellor, am I right in thinking you have a female doctor now, maybe you'd feel comfortable to talk to her?

My other suggestion would be to try to do more exercise, I know it's hard to get motivated but those endorphins really lift your mood. Just try going for a regular swim or a few miles walk - try going somewhere different like Saltwell park or Jesmond Dene, I love walking there.

Well done for talking about it, I hope that things improve for you in the next few days.

Take care,

xxx
 
Hey steff, I am sorry your feeling so down hun, unfortunately I am not in a position to help really as I too feel a little crap lately.... I just wanted to say though your NOT a loser, its much easier to look at someone elses problem and try to help out and its perfectly normal to think about your own and think theres no where to begin sorting it all out, its harder when its your own problems because you cant be as objective i dont think (well i cant) xxxx
 
Hi Steph,
Sorry your suffering again. I am sorry - but I dont have much time to help you - I should be ironing clothes and packing - but have so much to do.

I think you should go and see your GP and ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help - it will make you feel better and you are the sweetest person on this forum - so you deserve to look after yourself. Please ask for help if you need it - no fun in suffering alone.🙂Bev x
 
Steff,

Sorry you feeling so low, me being a bloke don't know what to say either😉 All I know for defo is that your fella wants to help you / be there for you etc etc.
You give us ALL so much support I just wish I could snap my fingers and your glass would be not half full but over flowing. Just stick in there take the meds and talk to us on here, we'll try and keep you on the up.

Comon Steff chin up girl:D

Don't expect miracles tho! Even I've given up on those🙄

Best wishes girl

Rossi
 
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Steff, you are an absolute treasure. You may not believe it about yourself at the moment, but you have given so much comfort and friendship to people for as long as I've known you. And the thing you maybe don't recognise is that that is a real skill - not everyone can show the right levels of compassion or friendliness or empathy - you always find the right words to up someone''s mood and make them welcome and involved in this community.

This is the evil brain chemicals making you feel like this. By writing here you have shown that you know there is nothing that you have done wrong, it is just the way you feel. I hope that you can talk to your doctor, and be as frank and open as you have been here, so that you can get support for this. This is not your fault. {{{{Steff}}}}
 
I know just how you feel Steff, I saw my GP on Tuesday because my depression lately has just plummeted, I was ok at the meet on saturday because I was around people but it is still hard to maintain a brave face.. please go and see your GP, when my depression hits a real low she is my first port of call, I have broken down in her office before now... I do have the number of my local mental health 24hr help line if I need it... also take your tablets, I know it's hard some days but they will help you... let your hubby in, let him help you, tell him you just want him to say nothing and talk to him, tell him how you are feeling, let him know if there is anything, however small that he can do to help you... hope you get sorted soon.. x
 
so sad for you

hi steff so sad to read your post you said you pray to God that these feelings will go away so that is what I will do for you too. God bless pat.
 
Steff2010 said:
i just want to give up the will to live.
I pray to god these feelings go away.
Click to expand...

Hi Steff
have a look at these two statements the first is what your brain is tricking you into feeling, the second shows your real feelings.

You are a great support to many on these boards and your OH and son love you very much.

A weird thing seems to be happening, you are about the fourth person who has started to feel quite low when their BMs have improved. Its almost as if your brain stops you feeling really grotty with the high BMs and they with the adjustment and better BMs - it thinks that you can cope - and the emotions that have been hidden spill out.

Have a word with your GP. You could also take a look at this site which my GP recommended - it might be of some help - it can't hurt.

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/

You have been doing so well - can you find a way to treat yourself, maybe a nice relaxing bath with candles. You are a very special lady.

Take care - sending you hugs
 
hey Cuz Well done for managing to post this thread ...you are not alone in these feelings xxbig hugsxx but they will go away ...see the gp and please take the meds xx🙂
 
Hi Steff, I hope you feel better soon. You did very well posting and telling us how you feel, that is a very big step forowards! I'd also encourage you to see your GP as lots of things can be done to help you over depression these days.

I value your opinions advice and input to the forum and if you were not here I'd miss you very much.
 
i think talking to your GP would be really helpful, they will know what is avaliable to you. Also when you were in hospital before you declined their offer of counselling, could you make contact and find out if that is still avaliable?
Hope you feel better soon.
 
hi steff ...how are you feeling today x🙂
 
Steff
Well done for having the courage to write this. You know in your heart you need to restart your meds. Do you have a cpn or crisis team you can contact to ask for some help.If not please see your gp asap. My heart goes out to you i suffer from depression as well and know wot you are going thou. please take care of yourself hunnie.
xxxxx
gail
 
Steff, really sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I think you can give so much to others yet feel down yourself because you are empathic and caring. It makes you more susceptible to feeling down, and perhpas taking on other's feelings - so, time to take on the positive feeling now that we're all pushing your way. I hope you find something that helps.
 
hope you are feeling a little better today steff xxx
 
Hi Steff,

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this - remember you are very special and there are lots of people who want to help.
I really wish I could give you some words of advice but I can't. See your GP and see if they can offer some councelling (it may help).
Hugs and love Di
 
A huge thanks to everyone for your lovely thoughts and words, i know only i can get myself out of this and everytime i go through it i think this time will be the last, but i have to get my head around the fact that depression does not go away it has found me and i have to have the determination to not let it knock me down.

A personal thanks to Margie and Gail i took your words to my heart and it meant so much .


Pigdeon as regards to exercise i dont even want to leave the house but it dont stop me from doing sit-ups in my room so i do still keep active.

am ,sam as far as today is concerned I have my other half at home doing all my usual chores despite the fact he has back troubles so for that i am thankful, head is still down but im not defeated yet.

Finally just to address the counselling issue it aint for me and theres no point saying it is and wasting a perfecly good councellors time which can be used on someone who would be greatful of it .
 
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Steff, I'm so sorry, I've only just come across this thread, feel awful that I wasn't aware yesterday, to offer any comfort and/or advice.

Well, as far as the advice goes, I'm not in a position to give any, as I don't really know how you feel - I know there's a vast difference between feeling down (however far down it is), which is me, and suffering from depression, which you're going through right now.

As for comfort - well, I dont' think I'm much cop at that either, I can just re-iterate what everyone else has said, how much you're loved and treasured on this board for what you give to others, advice, emotional support and help.

Please please please see your GP - nobody else will be able to set you back on the road to recovery, except you, of course, and it won't hurt to have a little 'leg up' from the doc. Unfortunately it'll take a while for any meds to kick in, so your lovely OH might have to take the brunt of it for a little longer, but as long as you talk to him about it, sounds like he's the kind who'll take it until you're on the mend.

xx
 
Hey steff

I'm really sorry your feeling like this. I wish there was something that I could do to make you feel better. Counselling isn't for everyone so I won't tell you to reconsider asking for it. Just remember we all care about you and your OH loves you lots. When I feel down I usually go out for a long walk or cry on my hubby's shoulder anything that works I try. Try doing something you like doing and remember were always here if you need us. Sending you (((((hugs))))

xxx
 
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