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I need support

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T

TraceyH

New Member
Hi All.

I need some support and advise regarding my partner and his diabetes. I'm beginning to think there's nothing I can do to help him.
He was diagnosed with T1 at 35 years old in 2001.

I met him in 2007 and we have lived together since 2008.

When we first got together he was out of work and I was working full time. I tried my best to help him and even ended up testing my blood sugars alongside him, kept a food diary etc. I did everything I could to help but as soon as I left him to it, he went back to his old ways.

Our first child was born in May 2009 and my partner returned to full time work in April 2010. He does a very physical job and works stupid hours (4:30am to 17:00) Monday to Friday.

I'll not bore you with his full life story but the problem here is that he is almost in denial. He injects insulin five times a day and tries to follow DAFNE (he's on the list to do the course) so adjusts the amount of insulin he takes according to what he has eaten but he hasn't check his blood sugars in over a year, so all of the above is pretty pointless as he has no idea of his starting point.

I'm hoping someone here will be able to direct me in how I can be supportive and make him look after himself without having to nag him all the time.
 
Not sure how to best advise. Hopefully DAFNE will come along soon and that will help.

It is brilliant you are trying to support him and this is a good place to be for support. Perhaps he will take a look and see there are others like him?
 
p.s if it hasn't already been said, welcome to the forum
 
It sounds like he has got out of the habit of testing, and perhaps going more on how he feels or what he might inject for familiar meals. As you say though, if you don't know your actual starting point it becomes very difficult to know whether what you are doing is correct or not.

Could he be persuaded to do at least one test - perhaps first thing in the morning when he gets up (which sounds like it's actually in the middle of the night! 😱).

Certainly, I think it will help when he gets onto DAFNE as he will be with other Type 1s and will be able to see how they deal with things, plus he will have to do lots of testing.

Does he get his regular checks, like HbA1c, retinopathy scans, foot checks? Does he experience any problems, e.g. bad hypos?
 
Hi Tracey and welcome to the forum.
Does your partner drive?
If so he is going to loose his driving licence unless he tests. New rules came in regarding people who use insulin. He is required to test before he drives.
When he gets on the DAFNE course he wil be in for a shock. He will be required to produce results before during and after the course.
 
He does go and have his checks, eyes, feet and HbA1c, but what's the point? He comes back his HbA1c is high, his eyes are already showing changes and he does nothing!

He will say that he can't test at in the morning as he's not awake enough at that time of the day. It basically excuse after excuse.

He doesn't have any hypos as he intentionally always runs high as its the hypos that scare him the most (not the long term damage he is currently causing!)

Yes he drives (as part of his job). He is on a three year licence and just gets it re issued.

I know exactly what will happen when (if) he does go on the DAFNE course, he will comply while he's on the course, but afterwards he will just slip back into his old ways. I'm getting so frustrated.
 
Hi tracey.

He sounds a bit like me a few years ago. I kidded myself I was doing all I could to keep myself 'healthy' but was also doing very few tests and would guess how much to inject at each meal.

The fact that he's not skipping injections and attends clinic appointments is a real positive.

Quite how you make the leap from that to proper control I'm not sure.

For me it was the initial laser treatment after a retinopathy check. I'd had minor changes before but thought I was ok. Then she said I'd have to have lasering there and then and it wasn't pleasant (more emotional than physical).

My partner was horrified that I'd got into that state and basically kicked me up the backside. She kept all my records for me for well over a year and together we slowly got me to a point where I felt confident enough to take over the reigns and actually be a grown and look after myself.

She sat me down and told me that if I didn't start taking it more seriously, I'd go blind, lose general health and die young. She loved me and didn't want that so she'd do all she could to keep me with her as long as possible.

That worked for me.

At that point I'd been T1 for over 30 years and had never properly carb-counted and never tested more than a couple of random times per day.

My HbA1c was 8.something and has been 6.2 or 6.3 for about 18 months now. I have no complications attritutable to diabetes (just old age!🙄).

I hope that, like me, he's got away with it and will see the light soon.

He will also lose his licence at the next renewal if his doctor isn't satisfied that he's been testing and looking after himself. That in itself may do the trick.

Rob
 
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