• Please Remember: Members are only permitted to share their own experiences. Members are not qualified to give medical advice. Additionally, everyone manages their health differently. Please be respectful of other people's opinions about their own diabetes management.
  • We seem to be having technical difficulties with new user accounts. If you are trying to register please check your Spam or Junk folder for your confirmation email. If you still haven't received a confirmation email, please reach out to our support inbox: support.forum@diabetes.org.uk

Hmmmm ... Nathan hates life

Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
S

sasha1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Hi all,

Nathan has been struggling with things over the past couple of weeks, trying to dodge insulin, not eating, trying to manipulate every area of his diabetes that is possible, I understand that, he is a teenager.

However yesterday when I reminded him that he has his appointment for annual retina screening on monday, that in Nathans mind was the last straw ... " I hate life" .... was his reply

I spent most of the day trying to get to the bottom of the root cause of his upset, unfortunatly to no avail ... I talked about how we could make things better, what he wanted, how we could change certain things so that he didnt feel as though his life didnt revolve around diabetes etc ... how he could control it, not feeling it was the other way round. But hence the typical "Kevin the teenager" came out .... my suggestions were rubbish.

He has had a lot of upset over the past few months, he lost his grandad (my dad) to cancer, my best friend died (Type1 diabetic), he is awaiting his GCSE results, next week he has eye screenin and clinic appointment, the week after its results and 6th form induction.

Even me trying a positive slant on diabetes and putting it in to some perspective, went down like a lead balloon ...

Hopefully when he wakes up in a little bit, after a good nights sleep, some of what I suggested yesterday may have helped ... and he feels a little brighter.

Heidi
xx🙂

PS ... He had breakfast and insulin ... 🙂
 
Ahh Heidi sorry to hear about Nathans mood, its such hard work going through your teenage years and with the added pressures of diabetes to boot it is even harder,the lad has alot to deal with lately,is they any chance he would open up to one of his close mates and then maybe they could have a quiet chat with you? It might sound abit sly but your only doing it because you love the lad so much.x

I hope he wakes up bright eyed and bushied tailed and has a diffirent view of things today hun xx
 
Hi Heidi I'm really sorry that both you and Nathan are having such a difficult time. I know that it's difficult but it might help to give him a few weeks to deal with the diabetes in his own way. I know that you care so much for him and that this is so difficult for you but I remember that when I was 16 if my mum had tried to help with my diabetes I would probably have been rebellious because it's that difficult time of wanting to find your own way as an adult (although of course Nathan will always be your child).
 
Sounds like he's been though rather a lot recently. Has he had any emotional support from a counsellor? It might help although being a boy he probably wont like the idea! Does he have a brother or sister? My younger brother always used to come to me before Mum if he was worried.
 
It does sound like everything's come at once for him lately and he hasn't got the life experience yet to rationalise it all.

It's positive that he's still injecting and sees the need to maintin the routine.

Is there some way you could all get away from it all for a day (not the D obviously :() just to break the routine and allow him to burn off some of the frustration ?

Since there's no runnign away from it, it does make life seem a bit c**p at times but since it keeps us alive, we also climb out of it eventually.

I hope he finds life more positive today 🙂

Rob
 
Steff said:
Ahh Heidi sorry to hear about Nathans mood, its such hard work going through your teenage years and with the added pressures of diabetes to boot it is even harder,the lad has alot to deal with lately,is they any chance he would open up to one of his close mates and then maybe they could have a quiet chat with you? It might sound abit sly but your only doing it because you love the lad so much.x

I hope he wakes up bright eyed and bushied tailed and has a diffirent view of things today hun xx
Click to expand...
Aw, ta Steff ...

Thats a fab idea, his mate is coming round later, so hopefully that will cheer him up a bit.

Sounds as though hes just getting up, plenty of clattering going on ... lol

Heidi
xx🙂
 
AJLang said:
Hi Heidi I'm really sorry that both you and Nathan are having such a difficult time. I know that it's difficult but it might help to give him a few weeks to deal with the diabetes in his own way. I know that you care so much for him and that this is so difficult for you but I remember that when I was 16 if my mum had tried to help with my diabetes I would probably have been rebellious because it's that difficult time of wanting to find your own way as an adult (although of course Nathan will always be your child).
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think I will back off for a little bit, may be this is Nathans way of taking more control himself.

I remember only to well how I was as a teenager, without diabetes, complete nightmare springs to mind.

Nathan knows where I am, and that I support him 110% ... and Im here for him when he needs me.

Heidi
xx🙂
 
How old is your son? I was just thinking of days out that might get him to forget about things for a bit and make him more positive about what he can do. I know my brother when to one of the "go ape" climbing centres for an activity day, apparently it is great fun and really rewarding when you manage to do something you didn't think you could. Not that it's for me 😱 or some kind of track day if he is old enough?
 
Natalie123 said:
Sounds like he's been though rather a lot recently. Has he had any emotional support from a counsellor? It might help although being a boy he probably wont like the idea! Does he have a brother or sister? My younger brother always used to come to me before Mum if he was worried.
Click to expand...
Hi Natalie,

Nathan is an only child ... in his words ... numero uno

Yes I am going to chat to the DSN about getting Nathan some counselling, because I think that would help immensley.

Nathan is 16 ... we have a go ape near us, so I might run that past him, I could always suggest for him to go to the Lazer Zone with his mates

Heidi
xx🙂
 
Yes, having someone to talk to helps, especially because you can say anything and they understand, it might give him the confidence to deal with his diabetes and to tell you how he wants to do things. I was diagnosed at 16 and relied on my Mum a lot until I went to uni and then when I got home I wasn't used to being told what to do and I rebelled and got angry, eventually I explained how I felt to her and we get on fine now, a little nagging (on both sides - my Mum is rather underweight and I worry) but all is good now
 
Thank you Rob,

He was out alot last week doing various things, unfortunately the weather here so far this week has been rubbish, so he hasnt been able to be out playing football.

We have a Blackpool trip planned for next week, its a day that Nathan gets to eat everything he wants, candy floss is a top priority .. and run around all the arcades, fairground etc, This day is a day that 'D' takes a back seat.

He is due to join Akido lessons this sunday, but he realises that in order to take this on, he needs to adhere to insulin/food routine.

Heidi
xx 🙂
 
Hi Sasha... sounds like you've both been through the mill recently!

Sorry if I'm behind the times (don't get on here much these days!) but I was wondering what education Nathan has had re his diabetes control? I was diagnosed at 11 months old & the first formal education that taught me the link between cause & effect in terms of dose, carbs, exercise etc was a dafne course at 24yrs old - it was like someone had put the lights on for the first time! I remember my teens & feeling very frustrated and negative about my diabetes because I was getting what felt like rollickings from the docs for bad results but no sensible help...At times it felt like a black art that I couldn't grasp so why bother trying too hard? I realise if he feels like the big D is taking over his life at the mo it might not be the right time to focus on this, but even now (in my 30s lol) I have to remind myself every few months or so that actually I feel a heck of a lot better, in every way, when I'm riding the diabetes tiger - it's better in control than being biten as it were! 😱 However you work through this, I hope you're both ok & manage to get the support you need from your diabetes team.

All the best,

Twitchy xx
 
Hey Heidi, Sounds like there a lot going on in Nathans world, I feel for the lad, truely can't imagine...My first thought apart from best wishes etc was at least he is talking to you to some extent!?!

Take care ewe and him 🙂

Rossi 😉
 
Just a thought

16 was when I started to really go mental never stopped injecting but just started to stop going to apppointments etc. Partly this was because it always felt like I could never have a holiday and every break from school was filled with Diabetic clinic or eye clinic/opticians or dentist etc. So be careful if these things do pile up together. For me they always were like first thing in the morning and I liked to sleep in on my hols. BTW know the feeling being an only child it is not good. Something that still annoys me today.

Marc
 
Hi All ... 🙂

Just an update on Nathan ... He is still a bit up and down mood wise ...although today I took him clothes shopping, its something he asked me if I would do with him, and it was a good day, he got more or less what he wanted, so he was chuffed ... I then did my stuff, while he did man things ... Game and Gamestation ...

Levels, have been a bit erratic ... but hes still injecting ... and maybe its more down to the hormones, and wanting to eat rubbish, something he is not used to ... in fact before tea, he asked for me too cook decent food as he felt a bit off ...

As for support re carb counting, DAFNE course ... he/we dont carb count, never been taught, and as Nathans HBa1c has always been between 6.5 and 7.5 we were told it didnt need changing, Support for Nathan and his diabetes has never happened or we did apply for counselling and were told he didnt fit the criteria, even though it is proven that diabetics need this support. His main and only source of support has been me .. and till of late he could talk to my best friend, who sadly passed away. He has a didficult relationship with his dad .. we divorced when Nathan was 4 .. and he constantly lets him down ..

It was never my intention to have an only child ... but that is just how things worked out for me ...

Nathan has his clinic appointment this week, so I will try and address my concerns discretly with the DSN.

The ray of light is Nathan is looking forward to 6th form .... at the interview they can offer all kinds of mentoring and support for Nathan ... and the Principal even made a point of telling us that they have a fully qualified nurse on campus..

Heidi xx 🙂
 
Things are sounding much more positive Heidi 🙂 Despite having survived not being diagnosed until I was 49, I can imagine that I would have felt much like him at his age - I feel that way from time to time even now. But you have given him a very sound start and wonderful support so I am sure he will get to grips with things. The main thing I think is that he should be open about his diabetes as his life starts to change with sixth form beckoning - I remember the much greater sense of freedom I had to make my own decisions about things, Didn't always make the right calls, but I'm still in pretty good shape, so hopefully he will have that commonsense knowledge at the back of his mind when he is presented with challenges 🙂
 
Hi Heidi things do seem abit better pleased to hear, I hope the appointment goes well and you get all the answers you need from the DSN x
 
Hello Heidi,

Just having a read through and was suprised that they didn't feel Nathan was suitable for counselling FGS! We must be fairly lucky, my daughters team have a psychologist attached though at 2yrs she doesn't yet have any issues she wishes to talk about :D, there is also a counselling service for people with chronic health problems such as diabetes, ask your DSN if anything else available at next appointment.
Pleased to hear he will be well supported at 6th form 🙂 TC!
 
Hi Heidi

Sorry to hear things are so tough at the moment. You were of great support to me the other week with my son. My lad is the same age, awaiting his GCSE results too and we had a couple of really negative comments about that last week.

Bless him, your poor Nathan facing all his annual screening AS WELL AS GCSE results and 6th form induction. Awaiting results is stressful enough for anyone, but with all this extra diabetes related stuff on top, I bet his stress levels are through the roof. My lad gets so tense at just a quarterly review at the hospital. When he is due his annual MOT in December I hate to think how tense he will be. He hated his retinal screening, found the drops really uncomfortable, so I dread having to take him next year. Unfortunately us Mum's take all the grief off them. Nathan is probably so stressed out he is rebelling as a way of releasing some of the tension he is feeling right now.

It's hard to know what to advise but I think all you can do is sit back for a couple of week and try not to 'nag' (as I get accused of) and just ride the storm until the end of the month. Once all these stressful things are over hopefully you'll have your nice boy back once more.

Good luck, thinking of you both.
Tina xx
 
Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
Back
Top