Hi

[Swedishblue]

I just wanted to say hello - I’m Charlotte, I’m new to this page but sadly not new to diabetes. Nearly every single member of my mum’s side of the family were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes throughout their lifetime. My uncle was also a type 1 diabetic during his lifetime.
Sadly I had to watch my mum’s health deteriorate due to her struggling to handle the disease properly (I lost her 17 years ago, I know a lot has changed since then, I’m not here to scaremonger!)

A year ago my husband was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It’s rocked our world. Not only am I very close to pre diabetic myself, he’s now suffering with depression, hypertension and high cholesterol as well. It’s horrible because until a year ago he wasn’t on any medication, he was never really unwell. Yes he was/is overweight, but he’s my husband and I adore him. Until he got the diagnosis, I genuinely thought his health was ok. I should mention he was also a smoker (20+ years cigarettes, 10+ vaping) - he’s basically been getting everything so very wrong. But he’s quit now and is trying really hard to fight the cravings.

The point is that he really is struggling. In every way. I’ve finally got him to open up to me and tell me that he’s depressed. His GP suggested referring him for some therapy, but he’s refused. He seems to refuse everything. He was put on Metformin MR 1g from nearly the get go but it wreaks havoc with his stomach (diarrhoea). He’s only taking 1 tablet a day because his stomach can’t handle it. Now they want to put him on some tablets to make him urinate more frequently … but he’s refused because he’s a lorry driver and it doesn’t work around his work. And it’s fine to say find another job but he’s terrified of our financial situation going down the drain.
So at the moment the only medication he’s agreed to is 1 tablet of Metformin, 1x Candesartan 4mg for his blood pressure and Atorvastatin 20mg to lower his cholesterol. But it’s not really working - his sugar levels aren’t really going down due to his diet. He LOVES carbs and eats it constantly. There’s no talking to him. He already feels like he’s lost everything - the smoking, the food he loves, the career he loves (eventually). He’s got really bad circulation in his hands and feet already, his feet are constantly hurting and they’ve spoken to him about where this could all end up.

I just feel like they’ve scared him into a deep depression where he now feels he may as well be dead. I’ve suggested I come to his GP appointments, that I call and speak to his diabetes nurse (I work in a pharmacy so I understand that side of things). I try to get him to open up but most of the time he’s like a clammed up shell. He’s so ANGRY about it all but also knows he only has himself to blame.
He won’t eat fruit or vegetables, he doesn’t enjoy anything remotely healthy … he’s just a walking fed up danger zone.

And selfishly speaking, to watch history repeat itself when I lost my mum to this …. It’s tearing me apart too.
I just wish so much I could help him, but how can you help a man who won’t help himself?

Thank you so, so much if you managed to read through all of that, I think I just needed to get it all out.

 

[mashedupmatt]

Hi Charlotte @Swedishblue and welcome to the forum - I know from a very brief flirtation with Metformin how it can interfere with your stomach (putting it nicely) - I can see why you are very worried about your husband, given your own personal experiences with your family history of Diabetes - great that he's given up smoking but it sounds like that he does need to make some changes to his diet - I'm not the best person to advise on this as a person living with Type 1, but there are many many people on this forum who will be able to give you advice - and you as a carer need support too - you can always call the helpline too (number is at the top right of the page) - and it's good to vent every now and again, it helps to get it all out - feel free to ask any questions you may have

 

[Leadinglights]

The problem is without dietary changes no amount of medication other than insulin would likely be sufficient as there is a limit in what oral medication can do.
Maybe by showing him he can still have tasty filling meals without all those high carb foods.
It could be an opportunity for you to have the same meals so he is not feeling that he is being different. Meals based on protein, healthy fats and small portions of the high carb foods. By making some substitutions and incorporating veg into meals or finding different ways of serving them may make it more acceptable.
Have a look at this link for some ideas that you could use to modify your diets. https://lowcarbfreshwell.com/
The website sugarfreelondoner has recipes for low carb cakes and biscuits as well as savoury dishes so he could still have a piece of cake or biscuit with his cuppa.
As a lorry driver he must be conscious that his eyesight is at risk with high blood glucose as well as feeling in his feet could be compromised. A friend had to have his car converted to hand control as he lost the feeling in his feet, taking metformin but still eating sandwiches, cakes, chips.

 

[goodybags]

Hi @Swedishblue welcome to the forum, the place we all come to vent from time to time, as you’ve probably already discovered, on here you will find some really good info on ways to maybe try and encourage your husband to eat better because maybe he actually might soon need to

a very awkward situation for you so sorry to hear what your going through the medication you refer to that he doesn’t want to take, due to the way it works I’m guessing is Empagliflozin (or another similar SGLT-2 inhibitor)
yes all meds are different and will effect people differently, its a shame Metformin isn’t friendly to his stomach

also you said your Husband loves his carbs, and won’t eat fruits and vegetables or healthy food
that can be because his Hba1c is quite high (I’ve been there I still have the T-shirt) I’m eating healthy these days, but still suffering some effects of to many years poorly controlled sugar levels, some people talk about a healthy eating change as Diabetic friendly, but it’s really healthy lower carb and a balanced diet suitable for everyone

I think @mashedupmatt ’s suggestion to reach out to the Diabetes UK helpline might be a great idea, or if your husband through his employment has access to any kind of EAP (employee assistance program) I’ve started using the one my employer makes available - sometimes it’s good to talk

hope you get some good advice and it helps

 

[goodybags]

I’m glad @everydayupsanddowns has just seen your post @Swedishblue
and popped made a recommendation to the freshwell website, I was trying to remember the name of it

 

[Swedishblue]

Thank you all, I really appreciate your time and will look into all of the suggestions.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Thank you all, I really appreciate your time and will look into all of the suggestions.

Welcome to the forum @Swedishblue

So sorry to hear how hard your husband's diagnosis has hit him. It can be an overwhelming time, and a period of grieving including anger, denial, and depression can sometimes follow.

As your husband is already sensing some changes in sensation in hands and feet, it feels very timely for you to reach out here. I can completely understand how worried you must be. Diabetes IS a serious condition, but it’s also one that can usually be managed well with a few changes and adaptations - it’s something that he can learn to live well with, and it shouldn’t stop him doing things he enjoys. It's generally a fairly slow-moving foe, but it absolutely cannot be ignored. And can turn pretty savage if left unattended.

I hope he can find ways to build a more diabetes-friendly menu, with some swaps and lateral thinking (like celeriac standing-in for potatoes, or cauliflower 'rice'). Some members here find it's just a matter of rebalancing meals. Eg having far more chilli / curry, and much less 'padding' of stodge to go with it.

There are some suggested swaps for staple carbs here you might consider experimenting with?

Thread 'The A to Z of Vegetables (from DSF)'

Nov 7, 2022

Kindly shared from the former DSF (diabetes support forum) with permission from @Pattidevans

• The Moderator Team
• Replies: 24
• Forum: Links

 

[Mark72]

Hi, regarding the metformin your husband is taking and struggling with, is it the standard tablets or is MR the slow release ones? If it's the former a change to slow release might help him a bit. It's supposed to be much kinder on the stomach and a lot of people seem to have improved side effects.