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heyoo :(

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Estellaa

Estellaa

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
so in the last couple of months since i think i last posted, i've moved to beccles.
which is in the middle of nowhere, once again i know no-one and to make it worse this time the friends i have made i can't go out with or anything cause i get the bus everywhere and the last bus back is at a specific time. so a night out is out of the question, which is getting me down as cause of the nice weather it seems to be the thing people my age do?
so i've tried going online and finding people around here, no luck. a friend from work lives here but she hardly spends time here as her bf is in norwich.
i still work in next in norwich but it takes me 45mins on the bus to get there.
just got over being really ill aswell.
and now instead of oh i don't know my mum and stepdad wanting to spend time with me they are once again going out like every other weekend since we have moved here. i'm so fed up with it, if i wasn't here they couldn't do that they'd have no one too look after the kids. they just don't care.
things aren't going so great between me and my OH. the distance is taking its toll. he works nights i work most days so we don't speak much, the signal here is awful anyway so don't really get to chat.
i have been here since may and have had no diabetic related appointments, i've asked about it and was actually questioned whether i was diabetic or not. apparently i'll get a letter this month, i don't know whether to ask for more apps, some help regarding my mental state i dunno, but this can't go on. i feel like my life is going nowhere and im 19 in 2 weeks. ofc i look after my diabetes i'd never forget about that or abuse it etc. but i just feel so **** right now and i've tried talking to my mum about it and she really doesn't seem to care just tells me to try and make friends the usual. what do i do :(
 
Hi Estella

sorry you are feeling so down. Have you spoken to your GP about the way you feel, they may be able to help or refer you to someone who can.

have you tried telling your Mum that you are struggling looking after yourself right now and not really up to looking after your siblings. If you find that she is not listerning you could try writing to her - if nothing else it will help you sort out your thoughts. Even if she doesn't read it you should have a clearer view of where you are.

I do hope that you start to feel better soon.
 
my mum will just do the whole, 'all i do is look after kids and i just want to spend time with my husband on my own yada yada.'
which is true, but its not fair to just always expect me to be okay with it.
 
Hi Estellaa, good to have you back, but sorry you're feeling low.

To add to Margie's good advice, here are a couple of things you might try.

Stamp your feet with the doctor - you need more support than you're getting, and there's no excuse for fobbing you off.

Go to your local library and look at the noticeboard. There will be all sorts of local groups that don't have an IT budget so have no online presence. Sharing an interest with others can lead to lasting friendships.

Say no to looking after your siblings for a couple of weeks. You will find that you are far more appreciated when you do help out if it can't be taken for granted that you will automatically drop everything to be there.
 
i live in the same house this is the problem, if i say no i have to deal with mum being arsey with me and being like well what else you gonna do? i need to find something else to do before i can say no but without having anyone to do anything with its difficult.
 
I didn't realise you had all moved. That makes it a bit more complicated, but not impossible. Do try the thing with the library, you never know what you might find. Do any of your friends have a sofa you could sleep on?
 
Sounds like you are feeling a bit isolated. I too grew up in a small town where the buses stopped early and didn't run at all at weekends. I was really dependent on my parents and friends' parents to give us lifts places. Could you negotiate with your Mum that when you babysit for her, in return you get either a lift into town or taxi fare next time you want to go out with your friends? Maybe if she goes out every other weekend, you could go out alternate weekends too?
 
my mum doesn't drive, my stepdad does he works away during the week and is home at weekends. it would cost ?30 to get a taxi from here to norwich and another ?30 for the trip back. the sofa to sleep on thing, is still kinda difficult i've only known the people in norwich since november and majority of them don't live in norwich themselves so i can't expect them to pick me up etc especially as i always have work on sunday so if i was to go on out on sat i'd need to be in norwich for work, my stepdad offered to pick me up if i went out, but that would of been at like half 11 and we all dont usually go out till like half 9 10ish so there would be no point. this town seems to be full of old people aswell.
 
Hi Estellaa, sorry to hear that things aren't going great :( Any possibility of renting and getting your independence?
 
on a part time wage, i wish. so difficult to get a full time job nowadays :(
 
Hi, how about you try and look for a new job where you used to live? was it far from where you are now? and did you have friends there? Then when you have a new job where you used to live you could maybe stay at a friends until you can maybe share a room somewhere (its fun I've done it). Then at least you'd be back with old friends, reliable people and not having to babysit all the time for your folks.

Sorry if this is all totally hopeless information, I just think thats's what I'd want to do, go back to what I knew, but maybe some people might think going backwards isn't such a good thing, I think in time you will make new friends and enjoy your life in the new village. Hmm so I haven't actually helped at all!!! 😱:( and I really wanted to, Sam x
 
aha the last comment made me chuckle lots.

it's my birthday next friday, but i go on holiday with my 'fiance' and his family so i won't be here but this weekend my mum said she'd go out with me which i guess is okay.
and friday we're bbqing and cocktails.
i just think i keep having down times and i just don't know how to deal with them anymore.
 
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