Help .

[Betty miles]

Good morning all ,
I was wondering if I could share somthing with you as I'm at my wits end . My partner of 3 years has been diagnosed with diabetes for bout a month now , since this time he has become a totally different person , he won't talk bout it he won't take his med, he is miserable grumpy very very unhappy , this is totally the opposite to how he used to be , he works longs hours and if often away for days at a time so it's hard to talk . He has made it clear I am the only person whom is to know bout it , which is making me feel isolated sad and helpless . This is why I joined here as I'm not sure what else I can do . He won't eat either I guess he thinks it will help !!!! . His father has diabetes also but is nothing like my partner he just gets on with it . Sorry if I seem so pathetic , if any one has helpful suggestions I would be very grateful ,
Betty xxx

 

[Northerner]

Hi Betty, sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis The diagnosis can affect people in very different ways, and for some can be quite overwhelming. If it is Type 2 diabetes, then there can also be a feeling that there might have been something that could be done to prevent it, as the public message is very negative. However, there is a strong genetic element involved with all types of diabetes, and given his father's diagnosis this would appear to be a significant factor in your partner's.

Is he on any medication for his diabetes? How did the diagnosis come about - had he had symptoms for long? It should be noted that high or swinging blood sugar levels can affect moods quite a lot, and sometimes this becomes worse when the added stress of being diagnosed comes with it. Some people like to keep it very much to themselves, whereas others can be quite open about it - I worked alongside someone for 7 years never knowing they were diagnosed until I was diagnosed myself and they told me. It will take time for him to get used to the idea. Not eating is not the answer though, it's a case of learning to eat the 'right' things. Perhaps you could help in this area if you are responsible for meals? I'd recommend getting a copy of The GL Diet for Dummies which describes how to pick food that will have a kinder effect on blood sugar levels. So you can get a background about diabetes I'd suggest reading Jennifer's Advice and Maggie Davey's letter - perhpas you could print them out for him to read when he is ready? Also, there is an excellent, very positive book - Type 2 Diabetes: The First Year by Gretchen Becker - which will help you both to understand that this is something that CAN be managed very well with the right knowledge and application.

Please let us know if you (or your partner!) have any questions or concerns and we will be more than happy to help 🙂

 

[Betty miles]

Hi Betty, sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis The diagnosis can affect people in very different ways, and for some can be quite overwhelming. If it is Type 2 diabetes, then there can also be a feeling that there might have been something that could be done to prevent it, as the public message is very negative. However, there is a strong genetic element involved with all types of diabetes, and given his father's diagnosis this would appear to be a significant factor in your partner's.

Is he on any medication for his diabetes? How did the diagnosis come about - had he had symptoms for long? It should be noted that high or swinging blood sugar levels can affect moods quite a lot, and sometimes this becomes worse when the added stress of being diagnosed comes with it. Some people like to keep it very much to themselves, whereas others can be quite open about it - I worked alongside someone for 7 years never knowing they were diagnosed until I was diagnosed myself and they told me. It will take time for him to get used to the idea. Not eating is not the answer though, it's a case of learning to eat the 'right' things. Perhaps you could help in this area if you are responsible for meals? I'd recommend getting a copy of The GL Diet for Dummies which describes how to pick food that will have a kinder effect on blood sugar levels. So you can get a background about diabetes I'd suggest reading Jennifer's Advice and Maggie Davey's letter - perhpas you could print them out for him to read when he is ready? Also, there is an excellent, very positive book - Type 2 Diabetes: The First Year by Gretchen Becker - which will help you both to understand that this is something that CAN be managed very well with the right knowledge and application.

Please let us know if you (or your partner!) have any questions or concerns and we will be more than happy to help 🙂

Thank you so much for the reply , my partner is supposed to take pills for it , he went to the doc as he was feeling a bit dizzy as he is up and down the country driving he thought he would check it out , so of course they do blood test due to family history . As for meals he can be away for weeks at a time so it's quite out of my hands , I understand it's a Hugh thing to deal with but he just seemed to have given up on life .

 

[Northerner]

I hope he can come to terms with it and be more open about it soon, Betty. It's one of those things that if you can get to grips with it, it doesn't have to be a big thing in your life, just a different (but healthier) way of living. Ignoring it can actually make things worse because it is always at the back of your mind that you ought to be doing something about it, so it can actually be easier to pay it the attention it needs and then get on with your life. Has his father suffered any problems because of the diabetes? Perhaps this is worrying him?

 

[Copepod]

From a purely practical point of view, diabetes, and more particularly, treatment for diabetes, except diet and exercise alone or metformin tablets without any other tablets, can impact on driving licence and responsibilities, particularly driving anything other than a car. Perhaps he's worried about impact of diagnosis on his job?

 

[trophywench]

Hiya.

Yes that's possible Copepod, but actually as long as he does take it seriously and treat it - and himself - with respect - he very likely doesn't NEED to worry! Cost Metformin alone has no effect on your ability to do anything including driving - and DVLA aren't in the slightest interested of that's all you need to take!

Betty - high blood glucose is a PRIME suspect for any diabetic of any Type sort colour creed or age - infant or octogenarian - being as grumpy as hell, and YES! - damnwell totally unreasonable! Worse than PMT for some women.

Yours etc, sometimes Guilty as Charged ......

 

[Copepod]

Hiya.

Yes that's possible Copepod, but actually as long as he does take it seriously and treat it - and himself - with respect - he very likely doesn't NEED to worry! Cost Metformin alone has no effect on your ability to do anything including driving - and DVLA aren't in the slightest interested of that's all you need to take!

Betty - high blood glucose is a PRIME suspect for any diabetic of any Type sort colour creed or age - infant or octogenarian - being as grumpy as hell, and YES! - damnwell totally unreasonable! Worse than PMT for some women.

Yours etc, sometimes Guilty as Charged ......

We haven't been told which tablets he's been prescribed, just "pills" - not everyone starts on metformin. As I said, he may be grumpy partly because he is worried that medication will affect his right to drive. Depending on what medication he is taking, he may be right, or it may become an issue if he needs different treatment in the future.

 

[Betty miles]

I hope he can come to terms with it and be more open about it soon, Betty. It's one of those things that if you can get to grips with it, it doesn't have to be a big thing in your life, just a different (but healthier) way of living. Ignoring it can actually make things worse because it is always at the back of your mind that you ought to be doing something about it, so it can actually be easier to pay it the attention it needs and then get on with your life. Has his father suffered any problems because of the diabetes? Perhaps this is worrying him?

Yes his father has had to have a toe removed , and has continuing leg issues . As far as my partner is concerned the subject is not open for discussion . I asked once if he would like us to go to doc together to try to untestable more but the reply I got was " I'm not 5 years old "

 

[Northerner]

Some people can become very fatalistic when diagnosed and think there is nothing they can do but gradually get worse - this really isn't true! Very hard to persuade someone of this if they don't want to listen though. Give him time and hopefully he will come round. No, he's not 5 years old, but he mustn't be afraid to ask for help to turn things around. It is early days yet. I can really appreciate your concern, but it seems he needs to decide to take action before he will open up. Does he know anyone his own age who has diabetes?

 

[Carol Robinson]

Hello Betty 🙂 I can totally understand your concern for your partner.. so, he's not interested in helping himself at the moment, sounds like he's going through a phase of thinking there's no hope, and that he's going to end up like his father? This really doesn't have to be the case. He must get in control of his blood glucose levels and not have his blood glucose control his life. Have you thought of maybe getting a book, not advertising here.. but I found that" Reverse you diabetes diet" by Dr David Cavan, soon brought some hope for me, that I could actually turn it around. It really is possible, if maybe you leave the book laying around, seeing the title... might he be a little curious and pick it up? I hope something helps him come to terms with it soon, it can take an awful long time though. It's not an easy diagnosis for anyone to get used to, especially if they have family members who have unfortunately got complications. I hope the situation eases soon and your partner soon feels like there is hope for him. Big hugs... we're all here to answer questions or just offer support, if/when necessary.

 

[Carolg]

Hi and welcome to forum. You will get support here for you.