Help from family

[nickinwarwick]

...Is it reasonable to ask them to hide sweet treats, puddings etc? Is it ok to ask them to eat them out of your sight? Is it better to tolerate them eating treats in front of you, as you can't always avoid people eating treats? ...

I'd say no, that's not reasonable. I don't ask Sainsburys to hide the crisps aisle. But it's probably reasonable to expect a bit more understanding and consideration than, say, at work where it always seems to be someone's birthday and they bring cakes.

Christmas is going to be trickier this year though (my first Xmas since being serious about bg levels). It always seems to be a non-stop conveyor belt of food and snacks. "If only _____ were low carb" where for me the ___ is probably nuts.

 

[nickinwarwick]

I get annoyed sometimes here in China. They don't acept "No Thank you " as meaning "No". They go on to push and push and it is damn well annoying to be honest...

I don't know if you'd agree but I think there's a cultural thing at play here where they're so intent (and proud of) providing excellent hospitality that people saying no doesn't compute. Also are they suppliers and hence always wishing to impress their client?

 

[Bloden]

I remember the moment, about two years after diagnosis, when I was looking for a 'treat' for my birthday, when it is allowable to indulge yourself a bit. I actually realised that I was reading the carbs on the packets/boxes and looking for the items that would have least impact on my blood sugar levels! 😱 🙂 That's when I knew I had crossed the rubycon 🙂 (I went for some chocolate eclairs, by the way 🙂)

Oooh, yeah...choccy eclairs. When I'm at my mum's for dinner we always have a choccy eclair for pud (covered with insulin, of course).

I come from a long line of chocoholics, Teadance, so at family get-togethers I just have to suck it up (not a very nice way of putting it!) - I make sure there's a suitable option for me tho...a choccy eclair, e.g.🙄 I guess you need to find a way of not feeling left out - snacks and treats you can enjoy without messing up your control.🙂

 

[Vince_UK]

I don't know if you'd agree but I think there's a cultural thing at play here where they're so intent (and proud of) providing excellent hospitality that people saying no doesn't compute. Also are they suppliers and hence always wishing to impress their client?

As I stated, it is cultural I have been coming to China since 2003. This is not only suppliers but friends also. The main cultural element at play in many situations runs
deeper and is heavily influenced by the fact they are mainly single children. the word 'No" is rarely used to them and most kids are handed over to the grandparents at a very early age and the grandparents actualy raise the kids. Spoiled from birth to be frank.
It isn't also about pride, life here is ruled by the concept of Mianzi-face. So by refusing to eat what you really don't want to eat including reindeeer penises for example and turtles, you are causing them to loose face. What should happen is I should eat whatever they give me inorder for them to have face. They don't give a flying (&T%& what I want just as long as they have mianzi. The whole concept actually is very corrupt. The level of hospitality is also focussed on them gaining face.
What you see is definitley not what you get here.
🙂

 

[Vince_UK]

Oooh, yeah...choccy eclairs. When I'm at my mum's for dinner we always have a choccy eclair for pud (covered with insulin, of course).

I come from a long line of chocoholics, Teadance, so at family get-togethers I just have to suck it up (not a very nice way of putting it!) - I make sure there's a suitable option for me tho...a choccy eclair, e.g.🙄 I guess you need to find a way of not feeling left out - snacks and treats you can enjoy without messing up your control.🙂

Do you remember "Last of the Summer WIne" where Thora Hird's character always pinched the chocolate eclair first before Nora Batty etal lol. I will be the male version of that character at Xmas methinks

 

[nickinwarwick]

As I stated, it is cultural I have been coming to China since 2003. This is not only suppliers but friends also. The main cultural element at play in many situations runs
deeper and is heavily influenced by the fact they are mainly single children. the word 'No" is rarely used to them and most kids are handed over to the grandparents at a very early age and the grandparents actualy raise the kids. Spoiled from birth to be frank.
It isn't also about pride, life here is ruled by the concept of Mianzi-face. So by refusing to eat what you really don't want to eat including reindeeer penises for example and turtles, you are causing them to loose face. What should happen is I should eat whatever they give me inorder for them to have face. They don't give a flying (&T%& what I want just as long as they have mianzi. The whole concept actually is very corrupt. The level of hospitality is also focussed on them gaining face.
What you see is definitley not what you get here.
🙂

Yes that's what I meant, just didn't write it as well!

(Too many carbs in a reindeer penis then?)

 

[Vince_UK]

Yes that's what I meant, just didn't write it as well!

(Too many carbs in a reindeer penis then?)

Wouldn't Know Nick, I decided that is one thing that is definitely not going into Vince's mouth under any cirucmstaces.

 

[Teadance]

I was thinking more on a smaller scale with our partners. Of course we can't, and don't, expect the world to stop eating sweet stuff just because we can't/don't/choose not to. I was thinking more of what I think I would do if my partner had to give up alcohol for health reasons, I wouldn't sit there with a large glass of something in front of them. If they had to give up cigarettes for the same reason, I wouldn't sit there smoking. Diabetic? I wouldn't sit there troughing on sweets. I thought it was a helpful thing, as it's bad enough having to give up stuff without temptation staring you in the face.

 

[Carolg]

Do you remember "Last of the Summer WIne" where Thora Hird's character always pinched the chocolate eclair first before Nora Batty etal lol. I will be the male version of that character at Xmas methinks

Will you have the crinkly tights ?

 

[Vince_UK]

Will you have the crinkly tights ?

LOL If it gets me an eclair, you bet. Full wig and hat.

 

[Carolg]

LOL If it gets me an eclair, you bet. Full wig and hat.

Take a picture please.

 

[Vince_UK]

LOL If it gets me an eclair, you bet. Full wig and hat.

Curlers as well?

 

[Carolg]

1st Xmas, I bought Xmas treats but really resisted and then sent everyone away with extras. Last year, bought some and D denial set in so ate some more. This year , plan to get some but think about it. Going out for Xmas dinner on Xmas eve, so it’s moderated, and don’t know about Xmas day yet.

It’s hard not to get all the “stuff” in

 

[Northerner]

I was thinking more on a smaller scale with our partners. Of course we can't, and don't, expect the world to stop eating sweet stuff just because we can't/don't/choose not to. I was thinking more of what I think I would do if my partner had to give up alcohol for health reasons, I wouldn't sit there with a large glass of something in front of them. If they had to give up cigarettes for the same reason, I wouldn't sit there smoking. Diabetic? I wouldn't sit there troughing on sweets. I thought it was a helpful thing, as it's bad enough having to give up stuff without temptation staring you in the face.

I once fell foul of upsetting my girlfriend, many years ago. She was in the middle of doing something called the 'Scarsdale Diet', which was a high-protein, low carb diet. We'd been for a long walk in the Peak District and stopped at a café for something to eat and drink. There was little on the menu to match her requirements, but I was starving and ordered a huge pie followed by a huge slice of cake. Suffice to say, I only ever did it once! 😱

I suppose it depends on whether they are deliberately taunting and/or eating 'bad' things to excess - if it's just normal everyday snacks and treats then I don't think it's unreasonable behaviour, but in relationships only the people involved know how acceptable or irritating it is. Many members here, both people with diabetes or partners, have described how they are supporting each other by trying to follow similar diets - and after all, as said before, a diet that is good for people with diabetes is good for anyone 🙂

If you are finding it difficult it might be worth having a discussion about it, and letting them know how it feels 🙂 Additionally, whilst I don't preach at people I will always be ready to tell them how much better and healthier I feel not smoking/not drinking/not shovelling rubbish down my neck - and they could feel that too! 🙂

 

[Ljc]

Just wondered (Ok, it's a moan!) how much help you ask for/are given by partners/family?
Is it reasonable to ask them to hide sweet treats, puddings etc? Is it ok to ask them to eat them out of your sight? Is it better to tolerate them eating treats in front of you, as you can't always avoid people eating treats? Do they comply? Just wondered.

Hi. How about choosing something nice that’s suitable for you to have as a pud, that you can enjoy with your family say for Sunday dinner, or dining out at a friends house.

20+ years ago, I did have some difficulty seeing others eat what I knew I shouldn’t, like everyone else I did succumb occasionally.
Now like others here my taste has changed, though I still like some sweet stuff.
It does get easier in time.
At home with close family, perhaps you should let them know how you feel.

 

[Northerner]

Just remembered that I wrote this poem about how my tastes changed

Old Dog, New Trick!



Jaffa cakes, bourbons, custard creams,
Digestives both chocolate and plain,
These I would graze on from morning till night,
And nothing but crumbs would remain…

But since diagnosis it’s becoming quite clear
That these once longed-for snacks don’t appeal,
An adaption of sorts to my once-hungry thoughts –
I’ll occasionally eat one with a meal.

So, a packet that once maybe lasted a day
Will now maybe last me a week,
And if there’s none left, then I won’t feel bereft,
For it’s healthier snacks that I seek!

So it shows, given time, that your habits can change,
And an old dog can learn a new trick,
It’s probably for the best I give biscuits a rest,
And not eat them till I feel sick!