Help. Child not doing insulin

[Nadineprowse]

Hi

I am new to this forum but hoping someone can offer some advice and help. I have a 12 year old daughter that is type 1. She was diagnosed when she was 8. All was ok but over the last few months she is not doing her injections. We have been in hospital twice this year with DKA. She lies to us and says she has taken her insulin and this is untrue. Tonight she told me to my face that she had tested and done her insulin for her dinner but I had her monitor in my hand. If we try to watch her it turns into a big argument. She refuses to do anything when we watch. She does her insulin at school as she is scared of the school nurse but just will not do it at home. Social services are involved but all they do is say it must be a problem at home as she does her insulin at school. We have done everything that the hospital have told us to do but nothing is working. I just don’t know what else to do. We, the parents, are being blamed for her not taking her insulin but we are doing all we can. We started on injections, moved to the pump but has moved back to injections due to not managing her insulin.

 

[Thebearcametoo]

That’s a really difficult situation. I think once a child (or anyone) feels like they don’t have any autonomy or control over their body then it leads to trouble and diabetes by its nature means a lack of autonomy. Does she see a psychologist? I think more support from the diabetes team is needed rather than social services.

In general when my daughter is struggling we simplify everything as much as possible. Go out less, expect less in terms of helping in the house, and generally just give her more space to be a child. Has she found the step up a year at school hard? This term is so long that I think a lot of kids struggle. Where is she at with her periods? Big hormone changes can be difficult emotionally and also play havoc with her diabetes.

I’m sorry you’re being blamed instead of supported. Our children are individuals and not robots who will just do what we say (life would be easier but very dull if that were the case).

 

[Nadineprowse]

That’s a really difficult situation. I think once a child (or anyone) feels like they don’t have any autonomy or control over their body then it leads to trouble and diabetes by its nature means a lack of autonomy. Does she see a psychologist? I think more support from the diabetes team is needed rather than social services.

In general when my daughter is struggling we simplify everything as much as possible. Go out less, expect less in terms of helping in the house, and generally just give her more space to be a child. Has she found the step up a year at school hard? This term is so long that I think a lot of kids struggle. Where is she at with her periods? Big hormone changes can be difficult emotionally and also play havoc with her diabetes.

I’m sorry you’re being blamed instead of supported. Our children are individuals and not robots who will just do what we say (life would be easier but very dull if that were the case).

Thanks for the response.
She is under a psychologist but this is not consistent. The last time she saw her was June.
She is having friendship issues at school and this is taking its toll on her. We are working with the school to sort out but it is all stress for her. She has just started her periods so her hormones are all over the place. Add diabetes into this and the poor kid has so much to deal with. I just don’t know where to get some help from. The diabetes team and social services just don’t seem to help.

 

[trophywench]

Has she been referred to a psychologist and if so, what strategies have they suggested you should adopt with her ? If you are following professional advice then No Way can you be blamed - so for starters, stop punishing yourselves.

How does she respond to calm logic? eg. does she actually understand that parents are legally responsible for their children and can get into trouble with the authorities if they don't care for them properly at which point the parents might find they had little control over the situation ?

 

[Thebearcametoo]

Was the psychologist through CAMHS or your diabetes team? You can self refer to CAMHS if you haven’t seen them or nag nag nag the diabetes team psychologist. It seems very unhelpful that she’s not getting more support. When we were having difficulties with our 9 year old we were in contact with our team weekly one way or another but it did take about 6 weeks for us to see the psychologist because of staffing issues. One thing we did while waiting for the psychologist was started to pay for an alternative therapist who does meditation and yoga and things with the kids and talks a lot about their emotions. She’s an ex teacher who works with small groups in schools mostly doing well-being stuff but we employ her privately. It’s cost a lot but has helped. I don’t know if that’s a possibility for you.
If you don’t already get DLA then apply, especially at the moment she needs extra care so you may want to apply for a higher level if you already get it. We use the DLA for the therapy woman and some art stuff.

We’re here to listen and support you. It’s not an easy journey for any of us and you’re having a terrible patch at the moment but it won’t always be like this.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

I am so sorry that you and your daughter are going through this.

I was diagnosed as an early adult, but can completely understand how hard it must be for youngsters.

it sounds like you are trying to keep the lines of communication open, which is good. Getting good diabetes-specialist psych support is also a must.

hope you find a way to resolve it. Diabetes is something she can control and fit into a full and varied life (though it seems it doesn’t feel that way to her right now). But untreated it can be devastating.

Does your daughter have any contact with other people her age living with T1? Would she be open to meeting others through a local group or perhaps the TADtalk in London next year - those are inspirational events to show T1 doesn’t stop you from doing anything.