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has anyone ever

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gail2

gail2

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
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She/Her
gone though a time of no i dont want this diabeties lark and maybe not taken there meds/insulin probertlelly or at Have started down a bad pathway and i dont know how to stop it Know what im doing is wrong but dont seem to be ablbe to stop it or get things back on track please dont tell me off i knowits wrong and im doing my self harm i dont even know how to tell my gp
sorry
 
Hi Gail, please don't worry about letting your GP know - you know how supportive he is of you, that he won't judge you, and he will look for ways to try and help you. Sometimes the thought of having diabetes is a big thing that can be overwhelming, but try to think of those injections as being a poke in the eye for the Diabetes Fairy - send her off with a floppy wand by taking your meds and insulin, then don't give her another thought until she is ready for another dose 🙂

Is it something that you could talk to your crisis team about?
 
Hi Gail, sorry to hear you are having a tuff time again.
I suspect we all go through the mardy stage every now and then, it's normal.
Never ever not done my insulin though as hate feeling ill.
My rebellion is not writing down my test results.
The easiest way to cope for me is to take 1 day at a time. I never look at numbers as anything except a number. It either needs correcting of it doesn't.
I take the attitude now that diabetes has to live with me not I with it. 🙂
 
gail1 said:
gone though a time of no i dont want this diabeties lark and maybe not taken there meds/insulin probertlelly or at Have started down a bad pathway and i dont know how to stop it Know what im doing is wrong but dont seem to be ablbe to stop it or get things back on track please dont tell me off i knowits wrong and im doing my self harm i dont even know how to tell my gp
sorry
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Dear gail don't worry about telling your GP, I know he is a rock to you and I'm sure he will be very supportive.
As for not wanting Diabetes anymore, I suppose it depends on what state of mind people are in, and you, go through such hell:( I have always accepted the big D I'm one of those that thinks, well I've got it, so just get on with it, but I know it can be very, very difficult for some people.
Always in my thoughts gail and my heart. Be safe and take care Sheena xxxx
 
Gail, I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time again. No one here is going to tell you off. And neither will your doctor. You are ill and self harming is one of the symptoms of your illness. We understand that and your doctor will too. But he can't help you of you don't tell him. Take care and sending you a big hug. XXXXX
 
gail1 said:
gone though a time of no i dont want this diabeties lark and maybe not taken there meds/insulin probertlelly or at Have started down a bad pathway and i dont know how to stop it Know what im doing is wrong but dont seem to be ablbe to stop it or get things back on track please dont tell me off i knowits wrong and im doing my self harm i dont even know how to tell my gp
sorry
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Yes. Twice.

Both times ended up with DKA on about day 3. Drinking loads, weeing loads, vomiting loads once the sugars got really high. Hospital on sliding scale for a week. Hideous, not recommended at all. I was 12 the last time I tried it (24 years ago, eek).

Looking back, I had an eating disorder relating to diabetes for years - maybe 10 or 15, not sure now. Taking no insulin at all was the very beginning of it, I subsequently got "better" at hiding what I was doing (missing injections every day).

Part of the reason why my eyesight is shot to pieces, really.
 
Cate said:
Yes. Twice.

Both times ended up with DKA on about day 3. Drinking loads, weeing loads, vomiting loads once the sugars got really high. Hospital on sliding scale for a week. Hideous, not recommended at all. I was 12 the last time I tried it (24 years ago, eek).

Looking back, I had an eating disorder relating to diabetes for years - maybe 10 or 15, not sure now. Taking no insulin at all was the very beginning of it, I subsequently got "better" at hiding what I was doing (missing injections every day).

Part of the reason why my eyesight is shot to pieces, really.
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Not taking meds on purpose as an eating disorder is now recognised and know in the world of diabetes as Diabulimia. I had this for almost 5years and understand there are many reasons for not complying with meds. Not sure if your experience with DKA and diabulimia was the start of other eating disorders but glad you have escaped those darker times too.

Gail - I think its safe to say that no-one 'wants' this illness and we all have different coping mechanisims and limits we can withstand. As I mentioned above, I have had a hard time accepting this, tried to be normal and fit in with friends in my early 20's. I even had such a superb support network but i still was determined to self destruct until I met the right DSN and also went to long term illness counselling. I think this was a turning point for me but everyone is different and your moment will come when you are ready hun. Chin up and hope it all looks better for you in the morning...
 
Hi Gail, I was away yesterday so didn't see this, how are you doing today? I hope you can get to see your GP soon as he sounds very supportive. I have never missed insulin injections, my rebellion is, like Sue, not writing things down; or intentionally overdosing, usually when I am really down, I then eat loads of bad food and feel rubbish about it afterwards
 
I have never not taken my insulin but I when I get down I just put extra in and eat a load of junk food,feel ill and rubbish afterwards but then repeat it again.

Have completely fell off the wagon for the last few weeks ,have tried today to be good ,so far so good but will probably fall off again as I feel so low lately not just from diabetes but from autism as well which my son has.
 
Daisy - sounds like what I do. Might be worth speaking to someone if you feel down, I put it off for ages but asking my doctor for support was the best thing I have done for a long time. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat x
 
told doc the works about bthe eating/binging/being sick/making myself sick etc hes going to refer me to a eating disorders clinic but i have to talk to him about it thursday as they require you to have blood tests before you are refered.
thanks guys
xxxxxxxxx
 
Hi gail - sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment.

Yes, I went through a long stage of not taking my insulin. Well I say that, I took my long acting but that was it. I wouldn't have my insulin for any meals and ended up feeling rough all the time. Unfortunately for me it lead onto some pretty nasty complications (and the latest update is that I may have some others creeping into the mix)
 
gail1 said:
told doc the works about bthe eating/binging/being sick/making myself sick etc hes going to refer me to a eating disorders clinic but i have to talk to him about it thursday as they require you to have blood tests before you are refered.
thanks guys
xxxxxxxxx
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Did you meet Jacq at the Brighton Meet Gail? She runs an organisation that helps support people with eating disorders and not taking their insulin properly. The website is: http://www.dwed.org.uk/
 
SilentAssassin1642 said:
Hi gail - sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment.

Yes, I went through a long stage of not taking my insulin. Well I say that, I took my long acting but that was it. I wouldn't have my insulin for any meals and ended up feeling rough all the time. Unfortunately for me it lead onto some pretty nasty complications (and the latest update is that I may have some others creeping into the mix)
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Hi SilentAssasin,
I started to go without any insulin at all and found myself in DKA at least once a month. I quickly realised that the hospital were starting to lose sympathy with me and it seemed they were getting angry with me. I then needed a way to manipulate my insulin enough to stay out of hospital but stay slim to fit in with my size 10 friends.
I used to gauge that my control was good as long as I stayed out of hospital, gone out the window was my rationale for a good hba1c or fasting levels, it was all about the figure on the scales and no admission to hospital. I used to even buy sweets to scoff, intentionally to raise my levels(!) I also felt crappy and it wasn;t till I was better that I realised how ill I was, tired, thrush/water infections, acidic breath, bad hair, dry skin, waking every hour for a wee!
Oh the silly things we do huh?
 
gail1 said:
told doc the works about bthe eating/binging/being sick/making myself sick etc hes going to refer me to a eating disorders clinic but i have to talk to him about it thursday as they require you to have blood tests before you are refered.
thanks guys
xxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

Heya Gail, Glad that you've managed to talk to someone about this and got some great support by the sounds of it. Good luck for Thursday...I think I slipped thru the net with mine getting noticed.
 
hi Gail,

I'm sorry i'm a little late in replying to this thread, and it sounds like you've got some help so good for you!🙂 Somedays i get annoyed about being diabetic and angry coz all my mates are filling their faces full of yummy stuff. They don't understand how flaming annoying it is to listen to them talk about sweets and chocolates and deserts all day when your blood sugar is sky high and there doesn't seem to be a thing you can do about it. I rebel by eating stuff i'm not supposed to (the diabetes police will come and get me..arrrggghhhh!!!) just coz i'm in a "s*d it, everybody else can do it so why can't i?" mood. Sometimes i think that the only people who understand are on here. Diabetes is a pig isn't it?


I'm glad you've got some help, and if you get any hints please share!

Rachel
 
I'm a late comer too, but I struggle sometimes to make myself take the meds. So far I've never gone more than a day or two without and been able to nag myself into doing as I should. In a way I'm lucky, I work with a load of counsellors and if I'm struggling, they're brilliant at talking me through it. I do so resent this *!~#@?% disease at times and I get so angry at it.

As others have said, don't be scared to talk to your doctor, from all you've said he seems to be very understanding of your situation and you know you'll feel so much better when you have.

((((HUGS))))
 
Chin up

Just thought id post as i was recently diagnosed with type 1 and of course its a shock but I have very quickly changed my mind set and tried to take the posistive out of the situation. I now have a reason to change my eating habits, get fitter and just generally look after myself more and this may sound weird but im enjoying it and am feeling good.

I hope things improve for you soon.
 
Yes, to be honest , just now.

I have got to the 'don't care, a short life is better than a long one of this stuff'
 
RHepton said:
Just thought id post as i was recently diagnosed with type 1 and of course its a shock but I have very quickly changed my mind set and tried to take the posistive out of the situation. I now have a reason to change my eating habits, get fitter and just generally look after myself more and this may sound weird but im enjoying it and am feeling good.

I hope things improve for you soon.
Click to expand...

AnnW said:
Yes, to be honest , just now.

I have got to the 'don't care, a short life is better than a long one of this stuff'
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Two very contrasting feelings about diabetes, which I think illustrate how up and down things can be and how they can affect people differently. RHepton, it is great that you have such a positive outlook on things 🙂

Ann, I am sorry that you are finding things difficult at the moment. Remember that we are here for you when you need to have a rant or a moan, or to share your concerns with people who understand. 🙂

I think the thing that we all need to bear in mind is that diabetes doesn't suddenly unload all its problems at some indeterninate time in the future if we choose to ignore it - unfortunately, the effects will begin as soon as we let our guard slip. Insidiously at first but with increasing severity and subsequent loss of quality of life. Ignore it for a day and levels will start to run high, which will have an immediate effect on mood and energy levels - the best we can do when feeling down about it is to try and maintain, do what you can and then move onto something more enjoyable once it has had your attention for that short period of time each day when you have to think about food, taking those pills, injecting or whatever.

Ann, I do hope that you are feeling stronger and brighter soon 🙂
 
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