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Going to be interesting.....

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Oh Tina, I really do feel for you, it must be so difficult. :( He really is in denial isn't he? As has been said before youth can override the fear of seemingly far-off problems that might result, so it's hard to convince someone of his age that he may be doing real harm to himself right now. From what you have said what he is doing amounts to self harm in my view, and with very serious potential consequences, so I do hope you can get some appropriate help.
 
To add to the pressure on him, we have today received (addressed to us parents) a letter and 3 urine specimen tubes, he is apparently to do his early morning specimens for the 3 days up to his annual review. What was his reaction - "Well they can forget that, I'm not doing that!"

I know my son, I do believe he had to mouth off tonight, but in a day or two he will just get on and do it. I do hope so, or it's yet another battle to face. Ho hum!

Do you get the results from these tests whilst you are at the hospital, or are they analysed later and results sent to your or your GP please?
 
Hi Tina,

Cannot answer your question regarding urine specimens.

Do you think your son would be willing to read the link I have provided. It is for young people with Type1 diabetes. If you read some of it you will see that a lot of young people felt like your son when they were his age.
http://www.youthhealthtalk.org/Diabetes_type_1_in_young_people/Topic/1521
This is particularly relevant where young people describe how they felt about their parent's reactions.
http://www.youthhealthtalk.org/Diabetes_type_1_in_young_people/Topic/1528

Wish I could help more. ((hugs)))
 
To add to the pressure on him, we have today received (addressed to us parents) a letter and 3 urine specimen tubes, he is apparently to do his early morning specimens for the 3 days up to his annual review. What was his reaction - "Well they can forget that, I'm not doing that!"

I know my son, I do believe he had to mouth off tonight, but in a day or two he will just get on and do it. I do hope so, or it's yet another battle to face. Ho hum!

Do you get the results from these tests whilst you are at the hospital, or are they analysed later and results sent to your or your GP please?

I personally get the results at my review, so they can be discussed if necessary, but I know this can vary.

Is there any possibility of the hospital putting him in touch ith people his own age of perhaps a bit older with Type 1 who he could relate to?
 
Hi Tina

We have only had one annual review but K just had to provide one sample of wee just at the clinic - nothing was sent in post:confused:

Would imagine either this has been sent due to your meeting with GP, or because they like to have results in front of them at review, which makes sense in a way?

If he won't do it before the review they will just ask him to 'perform' there instead - depends which he would rather do - my K hates having to 'wee in the pot' - says it was one of the worse things about the day she was Dx (not the DKA then😱?)

FWIW it doesn't sound to me as if he is denying his diabetes - he is doing the minimum he thinks he can get away with, and not wanting to appear all 'sensible' or 'different' in front of his friends - which sounds typical teenage behaviour. He will take resposibility in his own time, and probably quite soon, so try not to worry too much (not easy). Bet the review brings him to his senses at least a little - he may not want to loose face by admitting you were right and he was wrong😱

Hang in there x
 
Hi Tina

We have only had one annual review but K just had to provide one sample of wee just at the clinic - nothing was sent in post:confused:

Would imagine either this has been sent due to your meeting with GP, or because they like to have results in front of them at review, which makes sense in a way?

If he won't do it before the review they will just ask him to 'perform' there instead - depends which he would rather do - my K hates having to 'wee in the pot' - says it was one of the worse things about the day she was Dx (not the DKA then😱?)

FWIW it doesn't sound to me as if he is denying his diabetes - he is doing the minimum he thinks he can get away with, and not wanting to appear all 'sensible' or 'different' in front of his friends - which sounds typical teenage behaviour. He will take resposibility in his own time, and probably quite soon, so try not to worry too much (not easy). Bet the review brings him to his senses at least a little - he may not want to loose face by admitting you were right and he was wrong😱

Hang in there x

At least peeing in a pot is bit easier for males than females! 🙂

But dealing with urine samples seems to depend on the clinic / person - at my last annual review, I obeyed the letter by leaving a sample in biochemistry tray when I went a couple od weeks earlier to have my blood taken, and brought a sampe to the clinic appointment, only to be told they didn't need another, as they had the results from the earlier specimen, but they offered to dispose of it so I didn't have to take it back home!
 
Sorry you are having to go through this Tina - it must be heartbreaking for you. Do you think his sister will be able to get through to him. You may have to prime her with some information but sometimes its easier to take advice from a sibling rather than a parent.

{{{{Tina}}}}
 
Thanks everyone. He is close to his sister, so hopefully she can get somewhere with him. She is driving us to the hospital on Monday.

Re the urine specimens, it says he has to do one every day for 3 days prior to his appointment, on waking each morning before he eats, drinks, or does anything. There is a load of information with it, I don't want to draw attention to them again though by going looking at them now. I will have to add later what else the letter says. It's all part of his annual review - first one.
 
Thanks everyone. He is close to his sister, so hopefully she can get somewhere with him. She is driving us to the hospital on Monday.

Re the urine specimens, it says he has to do one every day for 3 days prior to his appointment, on waking each morning before he eats, drinks, or does anything. There is a load of information with it, I don't want to draw attention to them again though by going looking at them now. I will have to add later what else the letter says. It's all part of his annual review - first one.

On my last review they took a urine specimen a couple of weeks before my review then another on the morning of my review - it was to check kidney function and compare the two samples. It's very important to know how your kidneys are doing, as no doubt you are aware - hope he comes up with the goods! 🙂
 
Thanks everyone. He is close to his sister, so hopefully she can get somewhere with him. She is driving us to the hospital on Monday.

Re the urine specimens, it says he has to do one every day for 3 days prior to his appointment, on waking each morning before he eats, drinks, or does anything. There is a load of information with it, I don't want to draw attention to them again though by going looking at them now. I will have to add later what else the letter says. It's all part of his annual review - first one.

If he refuses to do it, he'll have to explain to the nurse/consultant why he hasn't done it and it'll reinforce the problems you're facing. If you tell them that there is no way you can force him to do anything, he's an adult, but you have the worry of watching him decline into ill health and have certain expectations of the clinic to support him, then they may actually start leaning a bit heavier on him and possibly even involve you in the conversation.

Obviously, he is the only one who can make the choices and do what's needed, but it may make him realise that he doesn't live in a bubble and that life throws problems that we have to face up to. If you could persuade his dad to take an interest, he may see that shutting out the hard stuff isn't an option. If his dad is refusing to accept it as an issue, then I dare say he's taking that as his cue. Sorry to be blunt and prob not anythign you don't already know. :(

But I hope that the clinic can see what you're up against and give some support to you as well as him.🙂

Rob
 
Hiya Tina

I've just read through this whole thread (what a mammoth thread) and I feel your pain as a parent. I know how you feel which is very different to how those with diabetes feel. We have no way of knowing how they feel but through our children we have a very good idea. However knowing your child has a lifelong chronic medical condition is something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

Right so my two pennies worth coming up.

I am very very worried that your GP is giving you advice full stop. Your son is cared for by, I would presume, a competent specialised diabetes medical team at the hospital he attends. There is absolutely no way on this earth that your GP knows enough, unless he is a TYPE 1 specialist, to advise and playing with insulin is playing with fire, as we all know.

If your son likes to talk to the GP about things that is fine but other than that forget it.

GP's will hardly ever see a child with type 1, whatever age that child is, they will however see lots of people, whatever age, with type 2. It is different, no two ways about it, it is different.

Teenagers - nightmare. I was awful as a teenager and I was trying to put myself in my friend's daughter's shoes the other day. My friend has a daughter who is a teen and type 1 and is pretty much behaving the same as your son. I have to say I think I would have been the same. I knew everything (still do 😛 only joking). I knew more than the highest doctor would ever possibly have know (although I wouldn't have really), I would have rebelled totally. However I also think I would have been frightened and I would have had my head in the sand hoping it would go away.

Your son is so not unusual in his teenage type 1 behaviour. There are lots and lots going through the same as he is. I would bet money on the fact he is frightened. I think it proved it when he cried at the GP's. It won't make him change though. My friend's daughter was deliberately missing injections so she wouldn't hypo and die ! She also missed injections and finger tests at school because she didn't want to be different and didn't want to do it infront of her friends yet she had never been like that.

I was chatting to one of our fantastic PDSNs recently and she said you would not believe the amount of teens there are who have problems. It is so hard for a teen with type 1, teens are a species to themselves, they are not kids, they are not adults, they are in limbo until they finally reach adulthood.

There is nothing wrong with bribery but if they don't do it, they don't get it, easy as that. However I don't think bribery will work with a teen, if they are not going to do something, they are not going to do it.

Lots of medical teams keep their adolescents until the age of 19 and then move them to adult clinic which is a whole other ball game. Your team should be offering a psychology team. There is nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist. Infact I think all kids and teens and newly diagnosed young adults should see one. I can't imagine taking something on like type 1 diabetes. You cannot go on a diet and be 'better' you always have insulin and you always have to count carbs and you always run the risk of complications. I hold my hands up, I can't get my head around that like all the people on here have to. I take my hat of to each and every one of you.

However the knock on effect for these youngsters doesn't just stop with type 1, it spreads, it knocks their confidence etc etc. My team have pshchologists available who are trained in all things diabetes and my daughter saw them. I have many friends whose children see them for all sorts of things but it absolutely helps that they know about type 1.

I have no answers for you except to say it may be good for you to speak to other parents of teens going through the same things. I know a few, I can put you in touch with them. Well the best thing to do actually is to go to www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org and join the teenager email list. It is not mega busy and you can put your messages from here on there, you will get help from others and ideas and suggestions from those who are going through it as well. It may be that your son needs other teens with type 1 to grunt at (teens only ever grunt) and maybe you joining the teens email list you can get him together with some other grunting teens.

I've no idea if this will help you at all or just confuse things but felt I had to write.

Take care
 
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If you tell them that there is no way you can force him to do anything, he's an adult, but you have the worry of watching him decline into ill health and have certain expectations of the clinic to support him, then they may actually start leaning a bit heavier on him and possibly even involve you in the conversation.


Rob

Thanks for all your help and replies. I have emailed our DSN ahead of Monday's appointment and have used Rob's phrase of him being an adult (well almost lol) and having the worry of watching him decline into ill health and really need the clinic to support him more and help him accept his diagnosis and take things more seirously. I acutally rambled on (what me???) for a page and a half, but giving them lots of background info, as I have said he is bound to lie and nod in all the right places, but I want them to be fully aware of the facts.

Hopefully she gets to read it before Monday - I have missed her 'office hours' to phone her for this week, so hopefully she will see this and either respond directly or have the information to act on on Monday.

Thank you Adrienne too. It's good knowing other mothers have similar problems or experience of it, and know where I am coming from. I have been on the website you mention but I am not computer literate and haven't really fathomed it. I get emails from them, but can't work out how to put my own messages up! Too old for that kind of technology it seems!!
 
Oh and I have requested he sees the psychologist too! That will go down a storm with him I am sure :D
 
They'll have ways of making him comply ! 😎

Hope they can take some of the burden. If you PM Adrienne, I'm sure she'll be able to give you some pointers to get on the list.🙂

Rob
 
Hi Tina,
I've been reading this thread, wishing there were a magic bullet that one of us could give you.
I had a look at the behavioural diabetes institute to see if they had any resources. They have this 'Diabetes etiquette for parents of Teens', 'what your Teen would want you to know.@
Reading it (and the thread) I'm positive that you know much of it anyway, but they do suggest using it as a conversation starter. Don't know, anyway I'll give you the link

http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/downloads/Teen-Etiquette-for-parents.pdf
 
Even to this day I can still remember my Mum's simple but effective way to make me comply.........

I wanted to go on a school trip with all my friends. One incredulous look from my Mum with the comment no you can not go for the simple reason you wont do your own injections or count your carbs properly. I am not going on the trip to be your nurse maid 😱
Funny enough within a week I had learnt to do my own injections and carb count. My reward was that I went on the school trip 🙂

Back in those days we had large needles (harpoons) and glass syringes.
 
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