Ellowyne
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Hello all, well, it's nearly 3am in the morning and again...I cannot sleep!
I am wondering where to start here?...Last year, for appox 11 months I was very, very ill, I was housebound/bedbound, and could not sit up for more than a few minutes at a time before I felt as if I would pass out. It's a very long complicated story but to narrow it down.
I had severe, debilitating back pain and was put on a very strong medication, it turns out, it was the Opiate medication that was slowly killing me. The Drs, they told me my symptoms were in my head and to stay on the medication!...You see, one of the side affects was weight loss, 5 stone in fact! this was because I simply 'could not' eat! The Drs kept me on this medication because I was losing weight, but it was'nt for weight loss that I was given the medication....it was for pain management!
I became dependent on this drug, me! I've never smoked, never been a drinker and never dabbled in any drugs!! Before I knew where I was, I was even refered to a drug rehabilitation centre....you really had to be there to have any idea of the sheer insanity that me and my family went through, you really could never grasp the neglect and lack of care or compassion that I experienced as a patient.
Well anyway, the so called symptoms that were in my head soon disapeared when I alone decided, against the Drs advice, to rip the patch off and go cold turkey. I spent 4 nights in hospital crawling the walls and another few months before I began to feel a bit like 'me'. There is now an investigation into my treatment, or lack of, by the Drs involved in my treatment back then.
I thought then that coming off the medication would be a turning point in my life, how wrong was I?
Since last October when I freed myself of a living hell I have bcome very unwell again with various health problems, both physical and emotional. They say I am suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and OCD, appparently they often go hand in hand.
I have terrible stomach problems and Gallstones, and, as some of you may know, I have also been diagnosed with Diabetes.
I have managed to keep the weight off that I lost when I was unwell. I find it hard to lose weight because I am disabled and have very limited movement. I eat healthy, no fryer in my house!....but it's difficult to lose when your not really moving!....fuel in, fuel, well, not out in my case!
So, here leads me to my dilemma...The biggest decision of my life to date. They have offered me to have a Gastric Bypass done, not the band, the Bypass! The never going back irriversable Op....the biggy! They say it would be a good decision, because of the Diabetes, and, afterall, us fatties are not too liked in this world are we?...we are the bain of the NHS, forget the smokers, drinkers, drug takers...they are ok, it's us fatties that drain the resources!!....Yes, I DO sound bitter don't I, that's because I feel that way.As far as I am concerned I have never been the same since the Fentanyl took hold.
The thing is, I don't know what to do? They tell me my Diabetes will disapear?....well, of course it will, I won't be able to eat, it's gonna be gone!
They say, 'How many OAP'S do you see alive and obese?'....I say 'How many OAP'S do you see alive who have had the Gastric Bypass?'....But hey, I am tired of being beaten with the 'Fat Stick!!' So, maybe if I have this done they will leave me alone?....Or will the fact that I will never again be able to share a meal with my family be too much of a sacrifice....Food is a symbolic status when a family come together to laugh, share and enjoy. Will I no longer be a part of that?...What about malnutrition, some Gastric Bypass patients just try to live off of shakes because they can't eat.
And, all that loose skin, well, I would never be able to afford plastic surgery, we are not at all well off!
But then again, what if I am letting a chance to be well pass me by? How does one make such a life changing decision?....I feel so stressed and confused!
Any feed back would be great if you would be so kind. I am not asking for anyone to say 'Yay or Nay' I just need....to reach out I guess, I feel very alone in this. My family do not want me to have this done....but what if this is right for me?
Love to you all, Lolly x
P.S. Please excuse any rambilngs or spelling mess up's....I am so tired and feeling quite light headed now!....Sorry.
I am wondering where to start here?...Last year, for appox 11 months I was very, very ill, I was housebound/bedbound, and could not sit up for more than a few minutes at a time before I felt as if I would pass out. It's a very long complicated story but to narrow it down.
I had severe, debilitating back pain and was put on a very strong medication, it turns out, it was the Opiate medication that was slowly killing me. The Drs, they told me my symptoms were in my head and to stay on the medication!...You see, one of the side affects was weight loss, 5 stone in fact! this was because I simply 'could not' eat! The Drs kept me on this medication because I was losing weight, but it was'nt for weight loss that I was given the medication....it was for pain management!
I became dependent on this drug, me! I've never smoked, never been a drinker and never dabbled in any drugs!! Before I knew where I was, I was even refered to a drug rehabilitation centre....you really had to be there to have any idea of the sheer insanity that me and my family went through, you really could never grasp the neglect and lack of care or compassion that I experienced as a patient.
Well anyway, the so called symptoms that were in my head soon disapeared when I alone decided, against the Drs advice, to rip the patch off and go cold turkey. I spent 4 nights in hospital crawling the walls and another few months before I began to feel a bit like 'me'. There is now an investigation into my treatment, or lack of, by the Drs involved in my treatment back then.
I thought then that coming off the medication would be a turning point in my life, how wrong was I?
Since last October when I freed myself of a living hell I have bcome very unwell again with various health problems, both physical and emotional. They say I am suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and OCD, appparently they often go hand in hand.
I have terrible stomach problems and Gallstones, and, as some of you may know, I have also been diagnosed with Diabetes.
I have managed to keep the weight off that I lost when I was unwell. I find it hard to lose weight because I am disabled and have very limited movement. I eat healthy, no fryer in my house!....but it's difficult to lose when your not really moving!....fuel in, fuel, well, not out in my case!
So, here leads me to my dilemma...The biggest decision of my life to date. They have offered me to have a Gastric Bypass done, not the band, the Bypass! The never going back irriversable Op....the biggy! They say it would be a good decision, because of the Diabetes, and, afterall, us fatties are not too liked in this world are we?...we are the bain of the NHS, forget the smokers, drinkers, drug takers...they are ok, it's us fatties that drain the resources!!....Yes, I DO sound bitter don't I, that's because I feel that way.As far as I am concerned I have never been the same since the Fentanyl took hold.
The thing is, I don't know what to do? They tell me my Diabetes will disapear?....well, of course it will, I won't be able to eat, it's gonna be gone!
They say, 'How many OAP'S do you see alive and obese?'....I say 'How many OAP'S do you see alive who have had the Gastric Bypass?'....But hey, I am tired of being beaten with the 'Fat Stick!!' So, maybe if I have this done they will leave me alone?....Or will the fact that I will never again be able to share a meal with my family be too much of a sacrifice....Food is a symbolic status when a family come together to laugh, share and enjoy. Will I no longer be a part of that?...What about malnutrition, some Gastric Bypass patients just try to live off of shakes because they can't eat.
And, all that loose skin, well, I would never be able to afford plastic surgery, we are not at all well off!
But then again, what if I am letting a chance to be well pass me by? How does one make such a life changing decision?....I feel so stressed and confused!
Any feed back would be great if you would be so kind. I am not asking for anyone to say 'Yay or Nay' I just need....to reach out I guess, I feel very alone in this. My family do not want me to have this done....but what if this is right for me?
Love to you all, Lolly x
P.S. Please excuse any rambilngs or spelling mess up's....I am so tired and feeling quite light headed now!....Sorry.
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