Feeling rather stupid, hoping to find support to change my life

[Larna]

Hello, I'm a 62 yr old female that started life in a tuck shop and learned comfort eating very early on. Basically I've spent my whole life living for the taste and enjoyment of food, overeating very much and gaining weight every year. The only times I've managed to lose weight was using VLC shakes diet. I have never managed to stick to a diet using food.
Now finally I've been diagnosed type 2 diabetic and started on Metformin. I already have many medical problems, including hypothyroidism (which means my metabolism is c**p) and severe osteoarthritis (can't even walk 200 yrds). Worst of all my weight is around 25st.
I am ashamed that I let myself get in this state. I really have no excuses... I love food, especially fatty, creamy, sweet food.
I know I need to lose a lot of weight and have no idea how to start. My Dr said I must NOT use VLCD again as my metabolism is ruined already. So I've been reading online and totally confused with the various different advices given.

I'm here to reach out and ask for help and advice.
Thank you

 

[Leadinglights]

Welcome to the forum, at the moment it might feel like you have an uphill battle but you are not alone in that. You have come to the right place to get lots of helpful advice and ideas for modifying your diet. Exercise is obviously challenging for you but will become easier by starting to lose weight, there are quite a few exercises that are designed for people with mobility issues and however little you can walk it all helps.
Have a look at the Learning zone (orange tab at the top) which you can work through at your own pace.
Do you know what your HbA1C is which has given you the diagnosis as that will give an idea of your starting point.
You are now on metformin but you will still need to look at your diet in terms of intake of carbohydrates, that is starchy foods and those containing sugar. The main things are potatoes, bread, rice, pasta, cakes, biscuits, things made with flour and some fruits.
so reducing portions of those things is a good start.
People suggest you keep a food diary with everything you eat and drink so you can see where savings on carb intake can be made. There is no reason not to be able to have tasty low carb meals and enjoy your food.
Enough for now but do come back with any questions you have.

 

[Inka]

Welcome @Larna 🙂 Don’t feel stupid. Those foods are made to be addictive, and sometimes it’s hard to resist them. In addition, you have other medical problems to deal with.

@Leadinglights has given good advice above about keeping a food diary. I’d also suggest you pace yourself and set yourself small, realistic goals. Don’t look at the weight you have to lose all in one go, try to picture it as steps downwards gradually.

What kind of things would you eat in an average day at the moment?

 

[Pine Marten]

Hi @Larna, welcome to the forum. No need to feel stupid - we are here to help, and to support you from now on 🙂

 

[helli]

@Larna - Welcome to the forum. I don't think there is any need to feel stupid. You have had a wake up call and you sound ready and eager to make a change.
This forum is very supportive so feel free to ask questions, rant, reach out for a virtual hug and laugh.

Some great advice above. I have nothing more to add apart from my welcome.

 

[rosalindb]

Larna I think we have all felt that way at the beginning but chin up and welcome to the forum

 

[Drummer]

There has been so much information put about how the only way to lose weight is to punish the body and threaten starvation, and it has ruined the health of so many people. Similarly the information that fat is bad, eat carbohydrate from grains - it is just not the right diet for a Human.
I was diagnosed at the age of 65, and in a few months felt so much better - going out to all sorts of events with a morris side - they kindly found parking close by or organised me being dropped off, but by the time lockdown arrived I was so much more able to get around.
From the moment of diagnosis I stopped eating the high carb foods which i had been urged to eat 'to lower cholesterol' - that wasn't working anyway, but my maximum recorded weight was 264lb, and that was from 6 months earlier when I stopped weighing myself, so it is anyone's guess what my highest weight was. I lost 12 inches off my waist and nothing fitted.
I had been taking Thyroxine for a long time by diagnosis, which I will always need - but I tried Metformin and it was dreadful - some days I never even made it downstairs. I couldn't go anywhere or do much after taking a single tablet each day, but I gave it up and found that I never needed it anyway, as my numbers have returned to normal.
Like you I had been on very low calorie diets, and my metabolism just collapses if I try to fast, but these days I can happily go 12 hours without eating so I just eat twice a day.

 

[Vonny]

Hi @Larna and welcome from me too. I think we've all done the shame bit...I know my diabetes stems entirely from around a decade of eating too much of the wrong stuff, mostly carbs as I never had a proper sweet tooth.

It's such a daunting prospect of losing a lot of weight I literally took it one day at a time on low carb. When I got to the end of the day I'd think "thank god that's over" and do the same the next day. After a couple of weeks it had just become the norm and I no longer hankered for my chip butties or pie and chips. After a couple of months my clothes started to feel looser so I just kept my head down and plodded on with it.

This forum provided (and still does!) massive support for me which helps keep me on the straight and narrow for most of the time. No one thinks any question is silly or sits in judgement on you which is really important for me.

Best of luck to you x

 

[Larna]

Thank you all so much for all the replies. Drummer I know what you mean about Metformin reaction. I've managed to get to 2 a day of 500mg. Next blood tests are booked for 30th. Yes that means I was officially diagnosed a couple months ago, with a HbA1c of 64 (and low B12 so put on supplements too). Yes I'm on Levothyroxine for life too, 150mcg a day atm.

So you're all pretty much recommending low carb diet. I've seen so many different diets for this, some recommending taking carbs as long as wholemeal, some recommending no carbs at all, and all sorts in between.
For me to go low carb will be a huge change. We eat cereal, toast, bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, cakes, ice cream, chocolate, pies etc.... with a little meat. I'm pretty sure he won't want to make the change so it's very daunting prospect.
I just know I can't live like this anymore. I'm so totally fed up of pain from joints anytime I try to do anything and the need to keep my legs raised most of the day due to lymphoedema.

My first step needs to be changing food intake.

 

[Leadinglights]

You seem to have taken on board the messages from people who have been successfully following a low carb regime, you may be surprised in your other half in supporting your efforts. Starting by basing your meals on meat, fish, eggs, cheese and lots of green veg and salads will be also beneficial to your Vit B12 levels as well, keeping the carbohydrate portion of the meal small.
For me I try to keep to less than 70g carb per day so for a typical day, I am on no medication for diabetes.
For breakfast, I will have either Full Fat Greek yoghurt with berries and just a scattering of All Bran or low sugar granola or bacon and egg or scrambled egg and smoked salmon with a thin slice of toast.
For lunch maybe home made soup with ryvita (2) with some cooked meat, cheese, salad and half an apple or pear.
For dinner meat or fish with salad or vegetables, sometimes I have a thin slice of bread. for desert I will have berries and cream or sugar free jelly or yogurt (not low fat).
A treat might be a fruit crumble made with almond flour rather than normal flour. I have butter on things and have nuts and cheese and a weekend treat of a square of dark chocolate. I use dried rubs for seasonings rather than bought sauces and make most meals from scratch as pre prepared foods are often very high in carbs.
Keeping a food diary and making a meal plan helps to see where you can make savings on carbs. People often use riced cauliflower as a substitute and celeriac mash rather than potatoes.
Portion size is something to look at as we are probably used to having far more than is sensible if pub and fish and chip shop portions are anything to go by.
I hope you can make some progress but just take it day at a time, as they say it is a marathon not a sprint but you do have to take the first step.

 

[Cherrelle DUK]

Hi Larna, welcome to the forum.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. I think your story is similar to so many in our society as food plays such a critical part in our lives beyond just being a source of fuel.

As you've rightly pointed out, everyone has their own pathway in getting their numbers in control. Reducing carbs and sugar is important but how you do that needs to work with your lifestyle.

I'd start by creating a food diary so you can get an honest view of what you eat. Testing with a blood glucose meter can also help you see the impact your food is having on you so do look into getting one of those and just track and adjust as you go along. SD Gluco Navii or the Spirit Tee2 are quite popular on the forum so worth looking into.

We've got a really active food section of our forum full or recipes, advice and ideas that may be of use. There's a great thread with examples of what people eat on a daily basis that is super helpful https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/what-did-you-eat-yesterday.30349/.

Making small changes is better than none so it may be that you start by drinking more water, doing 2 minutes on a mini bike that you can use whilst on the sofa.

I know it's daunting but we're right here beside you so please do reach out for support and let us know if you have any questions.

 

[Drummer]

My husband seems happy enough to have the same basic foods I cook for myself, but I add in a couple of Yorkshire puddings, some chips or roast potatoes etc. for him. I have curry with chopped cauliflower, he has rice.
If I make a cauliflower cheese it is just cauliflower and cheese, plus spices or herbs - tastier than the sort with floury sauce.
I have chocolate, the 95% one from Lidl, and buy him a pack of bars of the normal sort - it seems easy enough to me, and I have normal blood glucose.

 

[Larna]

I'm going to sorely miss my chocolate. I don't like dark, too bitter for my taste. Also ice-cream... I adore haagen dazs and ben & jerry's, and magnum lollies... so bad for me.
On the good side we do a lot of home cooking, just 'old fashioned' with pies and hotpots, stews, a few soups, chilli-con-carne, burritos, curry with naan, home baked bread, brownies, shortbread, scones, apple pie. You get the idea.
We also get through a lot of baked beans. 3 or 4 tins a week.
I do use goat milk and cheese myself as I love them. I don't eat/drink cow milk at all.

Ok next step as you've all advised is at least a week of an honest food diary. I'm dreading working out how much carb, fat and calories I really eat. Important info for a starting place I guess.

EDIT: Just got hubby to agree to me saying he is also type 2 diabetic, diagnosed over 10 years ago and medication managing while eating whatever he wants. He was advised by his GP to NOT monitor his sugar at home. So yeah it's going to be solo journey if I want to improve my life. (p.s. his annual HbA1c results at the GP are good with him on Metformin). He thinks I'm daft to change anything but he doesn't live in my body!!!

 

[Pine Marten]

That's a shame that your hubby feels like that, @Larna, it could be interesting for both of you to find new foods. Mr Marten is borderline, so he and I eat the same things on the whole. We actually did a fair bit of baking during the first lockdown! There are low carb recipes for all sorts of things, including pizzas and sausage rolls, bread and soups and so on. I'm not much of a cook but others on here are, and can give more advice.

Have a read around the recipe section if you haven't already 🙂

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @Larna

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and about your other health challenges

Hopefully you can find a satisfying, flexible menu that you can enjoy and stick to, and which will help you to gradually reduce your BG levels, and begin go lose some of the weight you have gained.

From reading posts by members here it seems like there is a huge benefit in seeing this as a new way of eating, rather than a short term diet or weight loss programme to be endured for a short period before returning to eating as you did before. So it can be important that you feel in charge of it, and that you are making choices. There will be things that you enjoy but that you decide only to have very rarely. There will be other things that cause so much BG chaos that you will kinda go off them. And still other things that when you see the BG impact they cause you’ll realise there are plenty of options you would actively prefer!

But it’s always your choice, based on your aspirations at the time, and your long term goals. 🙂