Feeling guilty?

[Beth123]

Hi, I'm Beth, 22 y/o.
I've just been diagnosed as Diabetic on Christmas eve after my Hc1 was 9.7%. They originally diagnosed as type 2 and started me on metformin.

On the 31st I got a call to see a diabetic specialist who then told me she was more or less certain it's type 1 looking at my symptoms and how fast they came along. She also started me on insulin (lantus & novorapid) even though my ketones were at a normal level (0.2) although my BG was 20+.
I'm waiting for blood test results to confirm type 1 or type 2 but they won't be back for another 4-6 weeks

For some reason I just feel really guilty about it all? I feel like it's my fault... Even though I don't eat that badly I do eat sweets and sugary snacks quite often but I really don't think it's to the extent that I would get type 2 diabetes at 22...

I don't know, I'm just venting it's still such a shock to me and I feel like I'm so under educated about diabetes in general. And I don't have any one to talk about it to since none of my friends/family has diabetes.

This guilt I'm feeling is just so overwhelming I feel like it's my fault because I've eaten badly.

Just looking for advise, if anyone else has had a similar experience.

 

[Inka]

@Beth123 Its not your fault! It does sound like you have Type 1. Type 1 is an auto-immune condition, where your immune system mistakenly attacks the insulin-producing cells in your pancreas. You didn’t do anything to cause it, and it’s nothing to do with eating sweets.

It’s sheer bad luck. You could have eaten the most lovely, perfect diet in the whole world and you’d still have got it.

 

[Beth123]

I

@Beth123 Its not your fault! It does sound like you have Type 1. Type 1 is an auto-immune condition, where your immune system mistakenly attacks the insulin-producing cells in your pancreas. You didn’t do anything to cause it, and it’s nothing to do with eating sweets.

It’s sheer bad luck. You could have eaten the most lovely, perfect diet in the whole world and you’d still have got it.

Yeah. I think it doesn't help that the first nurse that diagnosed me as type 2 told me that my diet was terrible and that I was gonna kill myself if I didn't change.

 

[Inka]

I

Yeah. I think it doesn't help that the first nurse that diagnosed me as type 2 told me that my diet was terrible and that I was gonna kill myself if I didn't change.

Not very tactful! If you are indeed Type 1, it would’ve been better if she’d concentrated on her diagnosing skills rather than making assumptions!

I blamed myself too when I was first diagnosed but my consultant was really good at explaining what had happened, and putting my worries to rest.

I dont want to recommend books to you until you get your official Type 1 diagnosis, but there are a few that are really helpful early on, and, of course, we’re all here to answer any general questions.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

For some reason I just feel really guilty about it all? I feel like it's my fault... Even though I don't eat that badly I do eat sweets and sugary snacks quite often but I really don't think it's to the extent that I would get type 2 diabetes at 22...

How or why do you feel guilty about having an autoimmune condition? Oh I know it's because the bleeping media always plays the blame game regarding diabetes. The media so loves to make people feel bad about themselves. Also just so you know there are many thousands of type 2 diabetics who are as skinny as rakes and their diabetes is caused by medication or hereditary factors. So even if you do have type 2 which is doubtful, don't what ever you do feel bad about it. You have the tools and also the knowledge which will come with time to live a full and healthy life.

Yep we all get down at times (It's allowed and natural) and yes it's a great big shock to your system. So make sure you talk about your feelings and do not bottle things up. We are all here to listen and help where we can 🙂

To make you even more cheerful you can still eat sweets and c**p just as long as you cover it with the right amount of insulin. 🙂

PS. Who is that scrumptious dog in your photo? 🙂

 

[rebrascora]

Hi Beth. I think the feelings of guilt are a common issue. i still have them 2 years later even though I have been reassured by HCPs and people on this forum, they still niggle in my mind. I channel those negative thoughts into what I can do to make myself as fit and healthy now as I can, rather than the things that I can't change from my past.... which involved eating a lot of sugar and sweets to help me cope with mental health problems.
My more healthy diet and exercise regime is helping more with those problems than the sugar ever did, so my diagnosis has actually helped me become a stronger, healthier, fitter and slimmer person and I will happily accept those positives along with the occasional frustrations of managing my BG levels manually.

 

[NotWorriedAtAll]

Well I ate 'healthy' food all my life. Cooked from scratch, didn't eat cakes, sweets, puddings. Only drank water and decaff tea and coffee - ate wholemeal and brown rice and plenty of fruit and veg and had polyunsaturated fats and 'heart healthy' vegetable oils. And doing all that gave me type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and early stage fatty liver disease.

I now eat bacon, cream, loads of cheese, loads of eggs, very few vegetables, as few carbs as I can manage (under 20g a day) eat loads of cakes and puddings and drink fizzy drinks and eat chocolate (home made from 100% cocoa) - doing all that keeps my blood sugars at a 'normal' level, blood pressure good and my liver is healthy again.

So I refuse to feel guilty - the advice for 'healthy' eating is mostly completely wrong - especially the guff about vegetable oils and stuffing sugary fruit and porridge and brown rice etc so you eat what keeps your blood sugars stable and don't feel guilty whatever anyone says. Thankfully there are tons of wonderful ingredients to swap for the harmful ones and the end result is food that tastes so much better and makes you healthier. It is all about having the right information. Without that how is anyone supposed to make the right choices to suit their body's needs?

 

[Beth123]

How or why do you feel guilty about having an autoimmune condition? Oh I know it's because the bleeping media always plays the blame game regarding diabetes. The media so loves to make people feel bad about themselves. Also just so you know there are many thousands of type 2 diabetics who are as skinny as rakes and their diabetes is caused by medication or hereditary factors. So even if you do have type 2 which is doubtful, don't what ever you do feel bad about it. You have the tools and also the knowledge which will come with time to live a full and healthy life.

Yep we all get down at times (It's allowed and natural) and yes it's a great big shock to your system. So make sure you talk about your feelings and do not bottle things up. We are all here to listen and help where we can 🙂

To make you even more cheerful you can still eat sweets and c**p just as long as you cover it with the right amount of insulin. 🙂

PS. Who is that scrumptious dog in your photo? 🙂

Thanks for the reassurence! I just seem to get to deep in my thoughts sometimes and blame myself.
Haha, that's my dog Cody, he's always there for cuddles when I'm feeling down 🙂

 

[Beth123]

Well I ate 'healthy' food all my life. Cooked from scratch, didn't eat cakes, sweets, puddings. Only drank water and decaff tea and coffee - ate wholemeal and brown rice and plenty of fruit and veg and had polyunsaturated fats and 'heart healthy' vegetable oils. And doing all that gave me type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and early stage fatty liver disease.

I now eat bacon, cream, loads of cheese, loads of eggs, very few vegetables, as few carbs as I can manage (under 20g a day) eat loads of cakes and puddings and drink fizzy drinks and eat chocolate (home made from 100% cocoa) - doing all that keeps my blood sugars at a 'normal' level, blood pressure good and my liver is healthy again.

So I refuse to feel guilty - the advice for 'healthy' eating is mostly completely wrong - especially the guff about vegetable oils and stuffing sugary fruit and porridge and brown rice etc so you eat what keeps your blood sugars stable and don't feel guilty whatever anyone says. Thankfully there are tons of wonderful ingredients to swap for the harmful ones and the end result is food that tastes so much better and makes you healthier. It is all about having the right information. Without that how is anyone supposed to make the right choices to suit their body's needs?

I agree. I think there's so much false advertising on what's 'healthy' and what's not to make money. Its very confusing to know what's good for you and what's not.

 

[Beth123]

Hi Beth. I think the feelings of guilt are a common issue. i still have them 2 years later even though I have been reassured by HCPs and people on this forum, they still niggle in my mind. I channel those negative thoughts into what I can do to make myself as fit and healthy now as I can, rather than the things that I can't change from my past.... which involved eating a lot of sugar and sweets to help me cope with mental health problems.
My more healthy diet and exercise regime is helping more with those problems than the sugar ever did, so my diagnosis has actually helped me become a stronger, healthier, fitter and slimmer person and I will happily accept those positives along with the occasional frustrations of managing my BG levels manually.

Yeah, I'm quite an overthinker as it is. My mental heath isn't great and this diagnosis is a real big struggle for me. I think you're right I just need to look forward and try and be as healthy as I can be instead of moping around and blaming myself 🙂

 

[trophywench]

Even if you'd been blessed with ESP at birth so had always known diabetes was on it's way to you some day - if it's going to land on you, it still will whatever you happen to do!

 

[trophywench]

Of all the conditions out there it's possible to get, this one has a very successful, well proven way of treating it. But what do @Pumper_Sue know about that? Well only that we have nearly a hundred years of treating it successfully between us .....

It isn't always dead simple - but what the hell in life worth doing, is?

 

[Shells2909]

Lots of great support and advice here Beth. You've had not one but two big shocks in the space of a week. Give yourself time to process what you've been told. At least you can get the right treatment now and start to feel lots better soon
Michelle xx

 

[Ljc]

Hi @Beth123 . Please don’t blame yourself or feel guilty. Imo that first HCP should be having those emotions not you . The speed of onset of your symptoms and your age, should have alerted them.

The media loves to play the blame game , according to them T2 is purely due to poor lifestyle.
And sadly as you have found some in the nhs do as well. Well on here we have skinny folks who have a great diet who get dx T2 , also a professional athlete or two, marathon, runners and a mad cyclist too , so t2 is not all down to lifestyle genetics are involved too.

T1 is caused by our Immune system which for some reason takes a dislike to the beta cells in our pancreas so it starts to destroy them, these are the insulin producing cells.

There are a variety of other types of diabetes that have different causes too.

And has already been said if you do turn out to have T1 , which as you can see is our opinion , you need not give up all those treats, it becomes more of a matter of is the extra jabs of insulin worth it , possibility of stacking insulin, not recommended, ( don’t worry you’ll learn about this)

In a short space of time , As T1 it’s likely you will find Gp practice staff including GPs know less about T1 than you do.

 

[Beth123]

Hi @Beth123 . Please don’t blame yourself or feel guilty. Imo that first HCP should be having those emotions not you . The speed of onset of your symptoms and your age, should have alerted them.

The media loves to play the blame game , according to them T2 is purely due to poor lifestyle.
And sadly as you have found some in the nhs do as well. Well on here we have skinny folks who have a great diet who get dx T2 , also a professional athlete or two, marathon, runners and a mad cyclist too , so t2 is not all down to lifestyle genetics are involved too.

T1 is caused by our Immune system which for some reason takes a dislike to the beta cells in our pancreas so it starts to destroy them, these are the insulin producing cells.

There are a variety of other types of diabetes that have different causes too.

And has already been said if you do turn out to have T1 , which as you can see is our opinion , you need not give up all those treats, it becomes more of a matter of is the extra jabs of insulin worth it , possibility of stacking insulin, not recommended, ( don’t worry you’ll learn about this)

In a short space of time , As T1 it’s likely you will find Gp practice staff including GPs know less about T1 than you do.

Thank you! Yes I think half the trouble is the media and giving out wrong information.

My GP surgery didn't even consider type 1 I don't think which I find really strange? Doesn't fill me with confidence anyway.

 

[helli]

When you Type 1 diagnosis is confirmed, I recommend requesting to be managed by a dedicated diabetes team rather than a general practitioner who is likely to have type 2 experience but little Type 1.
This is usual. The dedicated diabetes teams are usually hospital-based but most are providing telephone support at the moment.

Diagnosis of a chronic disease is shocking. I still remember mine over 15 years ago. I am sure the guilt you feel (which I think you know is unjustified) is probably part of that shock.

It may sound weird but I now see my diagnosis as a positive thing. I would rather not have diabetes but, if I do, I am glad I know about it, can treat it and feel much healthier than I did when diagnosed. If I didn’t have that diagnosis, I wouldn’t be here today.

We are here to help, answer questions and provide support. Once you get you diagnosis confirmed, I highly recommend keeping an eye out for the diabetes type from the person offering advice. Type 1 and type 2 are different conditions with different treatments. Whilst the symptoms are the same, things like diet and exercise can be different. Everyone on the forum wants to provide support but as it based on our personal experience, it may not always be appropriate.

 

[trophywench]

Have to say I was exactly the same age as you when I was diagnosed, 22. Remember thinking the day the nurse bearing a kidney dish with a syringe came into my room, Ah well, I remember Mr Willetts at school telling us Type 1 was just one of those things, when he showed us that iodine dripped onto a crust of white sliced bread turned it bright purple and thus proved it was full of starch - cos I did Biology to O level just a few years earlier - so I knew immediately I was stuck with it. So she did this jab in my upper leg and then was swabbing my leg again, so I opened my gob to tell her to stop messing about and just ruddywell do it - only to find she'd already done it and I never felt it! That happened more and more until it was always, once they'd changed us all over to insulin pens and 4mm needles - which you'll have automatically from Day 1 !

 

[nonethewiser]

For some reason I just feel really guilty about it all? I feel like it's my fault... Even though I don't eat that badly I do eat sweets and sugary snacks quite often but I really don't think it's to the extent that I would get type 2 diabetes at 22.. Felt same way,

Felt same way, all sorts of possibilities went thru head on why diabetes developed, can tear you apart but we all get thru it eventually..

Looking back see it as grieving process where you miss your life before & don't know what future holds, can be frightening but life is still good with diabetes, its just hindrance at times as any type 1 will vouch.

 

[helli]

life is still good with diabetes, its just hindrance at times as any type 1 will vouch.

Life with diabetes is definitely good but never a hindrance. Just an inconvenience as it has never stopped me doing anything, I just have to plan a little more.

 

[rebrascora]

Yes, I would say a frustration sometimes rather than a hindrance