I want to apologise.
Hi Everyone, hope you are all staying safe and well.
I’ve been feeling very guilty and wanted to get it off my chest so be prepared for a little bit of a long read!
Due to having Type 1 Diabetes and living with my dad who has COPD and asthma, I was prepared to stay at home for twelve weeks before the lockdown was formally announced. At this point I had enough insulin probably for a couple of months because every so often I order my monthly repeat prescription of insulin when it is due but I may still have some left over. I do this occasionally to make sure I never fall short. It is not so much that it would go out of date or that I wouldn’t end up using it, just about a box or two of 5ml vials as a buffer. But with the panic around coronavirus I felt scared and I worried about having to leave the house a few weeks into the crisis when perhaps my risk of catching anything would be higher. I also worried I would be using more insulin. For this reason, I asked my GP to refill my repeat prescription with some items being ordered ten days early and others five days early. I thought by doing this I would ensure (if I tried to ration my test strips a little and reuse my needles) I wouldn’t have to collect another prescription for the twelve weeks. I didn’t order my Freestyle Libre on prescription as I had bought a few online in anticipation that the pharmacy often doesn’t have the Libre in stock. I also felt as I had the ability to buy some, I should leave what might be available in the pharmacy to those who cannot afford to do that. However, this was not my thinking when it came to insulin. As I mentioned, I had already built up a buffer of insulin. I was fine and would be fine. But, I felt it would be helpful and sensible to get a hold of things now to prepare. So, I ordered my Humalog and Levemir. I’m not sure whether at the time of ordering the idea that this would put any strain on the pharmacy or GP crossed my mind. Or whether there was any way in my mind that insulin stocks would dwindle with this behaviour. When I saw my order was approved, I was happy! I felt I had one less thing to worry about and I had provided for myself. But then I started seeing health care professionals on Twitter and members of the Diabetes Online Community talking about stockpiling, ordering prescriptions early, ordering more than you need. I read these and guilt struck me. Is this what I did? Have I stockpiled? I only ordered my allocated month’s worth, but early. I didn’t try to get two or three times a normal prescription. But I had enough insulin didn’t I? I didn’t need to order it and I definitely didn’t need to order it early. So now, everyday I feel so guilty and shameful. I’ve come close to offering my insulin to people who might not have been able to get hold of some. I considered returning it to the pharmacy and tentatively asked them this over the phone, but was told the pharmacy was doing fine. I had also told them to give the test strips I had ordered (but wasn’t able to pick up the same day as my insulin and needles etc) to anyone who needs them. I had some from my previous prescription and had bought some online (something I also do every so often as sometimes I find my monthly prescribed allowance isn’t enough). But, the pharmacy just said it was fine and to pick them up whenever. I haven’t gone to pick them up and I hope they have made their way to anyone who needs them. Now I question whether I should just hold on to my insulin and be sure to not order more when I don’t need to. Or whether I need to find a way to give it to others. Have I unreasonably scaled my actions to an enormous size where it feels my behaviour has directly led to suffering and maybe death? I don’t know.
I just sincerely want to apologise. x
Hi Everyone, hope you are all staying safe and well.
I’ve been feeling very guilty and wanted to get it off my chest so be prepared for a little bit of a long read!
Due to having Type 1 Diabetes and living with my dad who has COPD and asthma, I was prepared to stay at home for twelve weeks before the lockdown was formally announced. At this point I had enough insulin probably for a couple of months because every so often I order my monthly repeat prescription of insulin when it is due but I may still have some left over. I do this occasionally to make sure I never fall short. It is not so much that it would go out of date or that I wouldn’t end up using it, just about a box or two of 5ml vials as a buffer. But with the panic around coronavirus I felt scared and I worried about having to leave the house a few weeks into the crisis when perhaps my risk of catching anything would be higher. I also worried I would be using more insulin. For this reason, I asked my GP to refill my repeat prescription with some items being ordered ten days early and others five days early. I thought by doing this I would ensure (if I tried to ration my test strips a little and reuse my needles) I wouldn’t have to collect another prescription for the twelve weeks. I didn’t order my Freestyle Libre on prescription as I had bought a few online in anticipation that the pharmacy often doesn’t have the Libre in stock. I also felt as I had the ability to buy some, I should leave what might be available in the pharmacy to those who cannot afford to do that. However, this was not my thinking when it came to insulin. As I mentioned, I had already built up a buffer of insulin. I was fine and would be fine. But, I felt it would be helpful and sensible to get a hold of things now to prepare. So, I ordered my Humalog and Levemir. I’m not sure whether at the time of ordering the idea that this would put any strain on the pharmacy or GP crossed my mind. Or whether there was any way in my mind that insulin stocks would dwindle with this behaviour. When I saw my order was approved, I was happy! I felt I had one less thing to worry about and I had provided for myself. But then I started seeing health care professionals on Twitter and members of the Diabetes Online Community talking about stockpiling, ordering prescriptions early, ordering more than you need. I read these and guilt struck me. Is this what I did? Have I stockpiled? I only ordered my allocated month’s worth, but early. I didn’t try to get two or three times a normal prescription. But I had enough insulin didn’t I? I didn’t need to order it and I definitely didn’t need to order it early. So now, everyday I feel so guilty and shameful. I’ve come close to offering my insulin to people who might not have been able to get hold of some. I considered returning it to the pharmacy and tentatively asked them this over the phone, but was told the pharmacy was doing fine. I had also told them to give the test strips I had ordered (but wasn’t able to pick up the same day as my insulin and needles etc) to anyone who needs them. I had some from my previous prescription and had bought some online (something I also do every so often as sometimes I find my monthly prescribed allowance isn’t enough). But, the pharmacy just said it was fine and to pick them up whenever. I haven’t gone to pick them up and I hope they have made their way to anyone who needs them. Now I question whether I should just hold on to my insulin and be sure to not order more when I don’t need to. Or whether I need to find a way to give it to others. Have I unreasonably scaled my actions to an enormous size where it feels my behaviour has directly led to suffering and maybe death? I don’t know.
I just sincerely want to apologise. x
) just in case their is a delay of some sort, I’ve done this for yrs.
