Feel so helpless

[bakebeans]

I’m sorry this probably isn’t the right place but I’ve been up since 4am in floods of tears and feel utterly stuck.

I know it’s a difficult time at the moment and I’m trying to stay strong but I’m starting to slip.
Myself and hubby both work in retail so we are coming into contact with the public day to day. I think it’s only a matter of time before our stores close. Schools have closed and I’m now having to rely of my elderly parents to look after the kids while we work. I feel so ashamed at this awful time. Hubby leaves for work at 8 and I finish at 2 so that’s 6 hours the kids will be with them. I can tweak my hours so I finish at 12 so they will be there for 4 hours 4 days a week. My elderly dad (75) was really offended by this and said the kids are to go there he doesn’t want me to worry.Hubby’s work (a well known family run business) are saying if he has to take any time off for childcare or illness it’s all unpaid.

My work now have 5 people off self isolating with temperatures or a cough no symptoms are getting worse so hopefully it’s just a bad cold they have as there was a cold going through the store a couple of weeks ago.

I’m trying to do the food shop for us, an elderly neighbour and my parents and it’s getting harder to get food I’ve gone into Tesco’s before and after work and the shelves are empty.Just tried to book an online slot and there’s nothing for 3 weeks.
I don’t know what to do for the best try and ride it out with the kids at mum and dads 4 hours a day (both diabetic mum with so many other problems this will all be over by the time I’ve finished listing them) or tell work I can’t come in and not be able to pay my bills. A manager has told me he will support me if I want to call in and say I’m self isolating with a temperature to get paid but that’s lying and totally goes against every value I’ve every been taught plus that would only cover 2 weeks and who knows how long this will go on for.
Sorry for the rant in just totally lost

 

[grovesy]

You, sound as if you are already at breaking point. Why not tweak your hours to start with, you did not say what type of retail you are in. I have noticed some big name retailers clothes and beauty, are shutting stores.
Unfortunately all the leading health experts globally seem to be of the same opinion, this a marathon not a sprint.

 

[bakebeans]

Thank you for your reply. I work for screwfix which doesn’t seem like an important retailer but they are keeping us open as long as possible in case people’s boilers break/gas leaks/ water leaks etc so plumbers and electricians can keep people safe. I’m really worried I’m going to pass something on to my parents we have started putting measures into place today to keep our distance from customers. Hubby seems to think that if the kids are staying with mum and dad for 4 hours they may aswell stay for 6 or 8 which I kind of get but surely keeping contact to a minimum would help?

 

[grovesy]

Thank you for your reply. I work for screwfix which doesn’t seem like an important retailer but they are keeping us open as long as possible in case people’s boilers break/gas leaks/ water leaks etc so plumbers and electricians can keep people safe. I’m really worried I’m going to pass something on to my parents we have started putting measures into place today to keep our distance from customers. Hubby seems to think that if the kids are staying with mum and dad for 4 hours they may aswell stay for 6 or 8 which I kind of get but surely keeping contact to a minimum would help?

I would say they are more important than a clothes retailers, and at least they are trying to put things in place, to reduce the risk. I think for your sanity and mental health you have do what is best for you. If you completely breakdown that will be worse for everyone.
Take care.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Are you not in the group that allows for kids to be sent to school?
I don't know the ins and out of it but are the government not covering wages as well?

Shopping... it's well worth looking in small local shops as it surprising what they have in stock.

I know my local shop has a policy in place which states only regular local customers will be supplied with certain items as some people thought it was a good idea to travel over 20 miles to it to pick up extras.

 

[Sally71]

The ruling is that anyone involved in the manufacture, supply, distribution and sale of “food and other essential supplies” may still send their children to school; plumbing supplies are a lot more essential than clothes for example, and further down it says that anyone in the electricity, gas and water supply sectors are also considered essential, so it fits with that. Ideally you should have arranged it with your children’s school by close of play yesterday, but it might not be too late to plead your case. Good luck with whatever you do 🙂

 

[megga]

Your children can still go to school, my son is a retail manager, and they have had conformation that the childrenn can still go to school.
As for your husband, last night the government put a lot of measures in place for workers. Having worked in retail I know how hard it can be, and I also know some managers can be ignorant power happy laws unto themselves, and ive also had the best managers you could wish for.
As for shops, nice little secret, motorway service stations have some well known supermarkets (my son runs a Waitrose in one) and they still have stock, and as Pumper _Sue said, local shops still have stock.

 

[bakebeans]

The email from the school says children can only go if both parents are key workers. I’ve had a chat with family this morning and agreed to see how things go I’m uneasy about it but so is everyone I’ve just got to get on with it. There’s daily updates through work so there’s no point planning too much as it could change so quickly.

thank you again for your replies I’m sorry to put such a downer on things

 

[grovesy]

Are you not in the group that allows for kids to be sent to school?
I don't know the ins and out of it but are the government not covering wages as well?

Shopping... it's well worth looking in small local shops as it surprising what they have in stock.

I know my local shop has a policy in place which states only regular local customers will be supplied with certain items as some people thought it was a good idea to travel over 20 miles to it to pick up extras.

Even the schools have not worked out they were not given any forewarning this was coming. Neither the exam situation. My son is a teacher the Easter Holidays should have started Monday, they have 2 days of meetings to try a d sort things out.

 

[grovesy]

The email from the school says children can only go if both parents are key workers. I’ve had a chat with family this morning and agreed to see how things go I’m uneasy about it but so is everyone I’ve just got to get on with it. There’s daily updates through work so there’s no point planning too much as it could change so quickly.

thank you again for your replies I’m sorry to put such a downer on things

Hope things work out

 

[Sally71]

thank you again for your replies I’m sorry to put such a downer on things

I think we all feel the same though, we’re just desperately trying to keep a lid on it because we don’t know how long we are in this for. I feel like crying half the time but so far I’ve always managed to talk myself round by reminding myself that everyone else is faced with the same and in some ways we are lucky. My daughter loves school and can hardly function without routine so she's going to find it hard, she looked so sad yesterday I've just told hubby and daughter that we'll have to keep doing our best to jolly each other along and find things to laugh at. This is the new normal for the next few months and we've just got to get on with it, perhaps easier said than done I know but if I start falling apart at the seams now I’ll never last until the summer! It would be so much easier if we could know when the end will be, and Boris Johnson was trying to cheer everyone up by saying we'll get it all sorted within so many weeks, unfortunately no-one can possibly know how long it will take and it's the not knowing that makes it so hard. Chin up everyone, we can do it because we have to!

 

[Sally71]

Even the schools have not worked out they were not given any forewarning this was coming. Neither the exam situation. My son is a teacher the Easter Holidays should have started Monday, they have 2 days of meetings to try a d sort things out.

I work as a dinner lady at my daughter's old primary school, and also help to run the breakfast club. I didn't know until Friday afternoon whether I would be needed. But we will be staying open and will need some breakfast and lunch staff, but not as many as usual. So we are doing a rota on breakfast club which means one morning a week and then every 4 weeks you get Monday and Friday, and then at lunch time we will get two weeks at a time. The first two weeks I’ve been given are what should have been the Easter holidays! Surely the kids are still allowed their holidays, said I, but I was informed that the school is staying open then so that the essential workers can keep going to work and keep everything running. My daughter is not impressed that i have to work during the holidays (she's not expected to do homework tasks for those two weeks), we weren't going to be going anywhere though and it's only just over an hour at a time so isn’t such a disaster in my mind. I'm not going to argue about it, people need to pull together and muck in where they are needed at the moment.

 

[Stitch147]

I work in retail too, Marks and Spencer foodhall, and I worry every day I go to work. I don't have the child care problems though. We currently have a few people off and self isolating. We are so busy at the moment, it's ridiculous. Even though I work in a place that sells food I am still struggling to get some stuff for me and my partner. They are hoping to put something in place for staff to be able to buy stuff they need. I've got plenty of meat thanks to a local company, but am struggling with fruit and vegetables. Hopefully all things will settle down soon. But have a virtual hug from me. X

 

[Poolie girl]

I’m sorry this probably isn’t the right place but I’ve been up since 4am in floods of tears and feel utterly stuck.

I know it’s a difficult time at the moment and I’m trying to stay strong but I’m starting to slip.
Myself and hubby both work in retail so we are coming into contact with the public day to day. I think it’s only a matter of time before our stores close. Schools have closed and I’m now having to rely of my elderly parents to look after the kids while we work. I feel so ashamed at this awful time. Hubby leaves for work at 8 and I finish at 2 so that’s 6 hours the kids will be with them. I can tweak my hours so I finish at 12 so they will be there for 4 hours 4 days a week. My elderly dad (75) was really offended by this and said the kids are to go there he doesn’t want me to worry.Hubby’s work (a well known family run business) are saying if he has to take any time off for childcare or illness it’s all unpaid.

My work now have 5 people off self isolating with temperatures or a cough no symptoms are getting worse so hopefully it’s just a bad cold they have as there was a cold going through the store a couple of weeks ago.

I’m trying to do the food shop for us, an elderly neighbour and my parents and it’s getting harder to get food I’ve gone into Tesco’s before and after work and the shelves are empty.Just tried to book an online slot and there’s nothing for 3 weeks.
I don’t know what to do for the best try and ride it out with the kids at mum and dads 4 hours a day (both diabetic mum with so many other problems this will all be over by the time I’ve finished listing them) or tell work I can’t come in and not be able to pay my bills. A manager has told me he will support me if I want to call in and say I’m self isolating with a temperature to get paid but that’s lying and totally goes against every value I’ve every been taught plus that would only cover 2 weeks and who knows how long this will go on for.
Sorry for the rant in just totally lost

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Ah I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time @bakebeans

Things are really difficult for you, and you are doing everything you can to balance lots of competing and conflicting requirements.

Take a moment to acknowledge that you are doing what you can, and that not everything is within your control.

(((Hugs))) to you.

 

[Neens]

Just want to send a virtual hug at this incredibly tough time. Sorry to hear the mess it has caused and angst. It is a terrible situation. x

 

[Inka]

Another hug from me @bakebeans

When things get on top of me, I find it helps to make a list. A list of problems, a list of priorities, a list of possible solutions. Just writing things down is calming because it’s gets them out of your head. X

 

[SB2015]

All of this is so difficult, especially as things are changing so quickly, and schools have very little prior warning about what they are being asked to do.

All staff that I know in primaries are being asked to work through their holidays. They will be on their knees, especially as it is so much harder without the full class and the lack of structure. As @Sally71 said this is unusual times and we all have to pull together. It is just difficult when we have no idea how long this will go on for.

I recently read the letters of my father in law from PoW camp. We know now how long that lasted. When they were there they had no idea how long it would be, and that had a big impact on their mental health.

Stay strong and support each other.

 

[SB2015]

Another hug from me @bakebeans

When things get on top of me, I find it helps to make a list. A list of problems, a list of priorities, a list of possible solutions. Just writing things down is calming because it’s gets them out of your head. X

I find a list each day helps to give structure. I also check that I have some exercise, fresh air, creativity and a bit of domestic goddess thrown in!