fed up

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SilentAssassin1642

SilentAssassin1642

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
please excuse me. I feel the need for a rant/moan

I'm fed up. It is 1 week until I hit the 14 year mark and I'm spending way too much time thinking about it. I can still remember a time before the D just about. And right now I wish more than anything that I didn't have it.

I am totally fed up of injections. I am fed up of the constant hypos - hey guess what I'm having my second one of the day and I really CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO TREAT IT.

I'm reminded all the time that I have this. Like earlier on I had that creme egg, and afterwards I felt totally guilty eating it and knowing I *had* to cover it with insulin. Even then, sugars were still higher than they should have been.

I hate that I have this so called nueropathy. Its not as bad as it was, but a second ago I got the most nastiest shooting pain in my big toe. I HATE IT! Its nowhere near as bad as it was, nowhere near as bad at all. Very rarely do I wake up to huge sensitivity anymore. But still, I KNOW it's there you know? I know that I have this thing and its totally my own fault.

I am THIS CLOSE to breaking down in tears over it all again. I just don't want it anymore. I am thinking why me.

I. Hate. This

Like, I'm having pasta bake for dinner and i know it will screw with my levels. It's so freaking hard for me to get it right.

I am so utterly fed up of it.

:(

not only that, my fight for a pump is going NOWHERE. This bugs me. Because I'll be seeing the guy who refused me when i go next time and i know full well that something will be said about it. I am half tempted to deliberately run myself stupidly high and even more so I am half tempted to get in hospital with high levels.

I shouldn't be thinking like this. But I am. And I don't like it.

sorry for moaning. I should be happy that im starting this job tomorrow. But I'm in tears right now. :(
 
come on samm this is a little blip you've been doing so well recently !! you've also been rushed off your feet possibly moving, looking for jobs, getting jobs, shopping !😱! and worry worry and stress and starting new job andand excitement and loads of other stuff going on ! no wonder your feeling it at the mo xxx big hugs 🙂
 
Sam i can totally see where your coming from my 1st anniversary of D is in 5 days and i can say i have been the same as you thinking over things wayyy to much last 3 days but I gotta keep chipper if i dont ill be down in the dumps for days and that does no one least of all me any good.Get yourself psyched for tomorrow and this wonderful new job your starting xxxhugsxxx.
 
Sorry your feeling this way Sam.:(

I cant help you with how it must *feel* - but I do understand the frustration. Keep going with your fight for a pump. On the subject of your pasta bake - I recall last time you were low and then very high hours later? Have you decided to inject differently for it this time? I seem to remember you were high after 5 hours - is this right? I am just thinking that perhaps you could think about the split bolus again - but this time leave it longer than the 1 hour you did it last time. What else is on the pasta - cheese or anything fatty? Also, sorry to state the obvious - but the cream egg will take ages to digest and probably why you went low - you may find you will go high much later on due to the fat in it - sorry - but better to be prepared so you can act with a correction dose etc...I do sympathise with you - just not sure what to say to make you feel better.🙂Bev x
 
hey im to thinking same as you i have had nothing but high bg for months now and then i correct and hypo its so hard for ppl to understand and i wish we all cud have a day release from it.lol and ive often thought why me but hey why not me this has been sent to us so have to deal with it but like you some days i jus cant..remember your never alone....take carex
 
bev said:
Sorry your feeling this way Sam.:(

I cant help you with how it must *feel* - but I do understand the frustration. Keep going with your fight for a pump. On the subject of your pasta bake - I recall last time you were low and then very high hours later? Have you decided to inject differently for it this time? I seem to remember you were high after 5 hours - is this right? I am just thinking that perhaps you could think about the split bolus again - but this time leave it longer than the 1 hour you did it last time. What else is on the pasta - cheese or anything fatty? Also, sorry to state the obvious - but the cream egg will take ages to digest and probably why you went low - you may find you will go high much later on due to the fat in it - sorry - but better to be prepared so you can act with a correction dose etc...I do sympathise with you - just not sure what to say to make you feel better.🙂Bev x
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i just fancied the cream egg...digestion issues etc didn't come into it at the time. But it was er...ages and ages ago so I hope i won't shoot up later on.

Pasta bake is with a homepride sauce and cheese. I'm not gunna have that much today (not hungry...well...don;t feel like eating it...) but I might leave it maybe 2 hours after eating it.

thanks though bev, you're a star. I utterly hate feeling like this. Stupid diabetes needs a kick up the backside
 
Hi
I'm really sorry to hear your so fed up with everything! I can understand how your feeling i felt the same way before i got my pump not seemed to be working & diabetes was taking over my life in fact it was all i had time to think about it was a constant battle, hypo's/hypers all the time.
I was refused a pump & any practicle help from my hospital they told me that i'd just have to get on with it despite having several severe hypo's where my husband had to give me glucogon injection & it was so frustrating!! I ended up changing hospitals & within 3months i had been given a pump!! Which has changed my life!
If you want any help on how i managed to change hospitals & get a pump let me know. I notice that your in Southampton i lived in Hampshire for 18mths & i went to Portsmouth hospital they have a really good pump team there so it might be an option for you to go there.
Try to be possitive which is far easier said than done!!
Take care
Chrissie
 
Aww pet...

I'm so sorry to see that it's all getting to you this way. I can't offer any advice but if it helps at all I'm thinking of you and I hope that the job is all you want it to be and things look better tomorrow..

We all have days when things seem so much worse and harder to deal with. At least you know that we are here for you and you can rant and rave until you get it off your chest.

Love and {{hugs}}

Karina
 
Sam,
Lots of these issues can be ironed out when on a pump - I am not saying that the pump is the' be all and end all' - but its considerably better and quicker to just enter the carbs and dual wave or whatever than it is to think about injecting etc etc etc...ROLL ON THE PUMP FOR SAM!:DBev x
 
bev said:
Sam,
Lots of these issues can be ironed out when on a pump - I am not saying that the pump is the' be all and end all' - but its considerably better and quicker to just enter the carbs and dual wave or whatever than it is to think about injecting etc etc etc...ROLL ON THE PUMP FOR SAM!:DBev x
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dyu fancy coming to soton and beating my team up then? lol

I've got a serious fight on my hands with it. So much so I'm thinking of asking to be transferred over to bournemouth or somewhere.

Stupid MDIs are a pile of something that comes out of a horses backside 😡
 
Sam

sorry you are feeling so rubbish, you have had a really hard time of it recently with all the flat and job issues. I was drooling over cream eggs today. I almost broke, but hubby reminded me of the baby bean and I resisted it. I know how you feel, I wish I could just enjoy being pregnant, or just have all the pregnancies worries normal people do, without all this diabetic crap to deal with too.

Big Hug
 
Chrissie said:
Hi
I'm really sorry to hear your so fed up with everything! I can understand how your feeling i felt the same way before i got my pump not seemed to be working & diabetes was taking over my life in fact it was all i had time to think about it was a constant battle, hypo's/hypers all the time.
I was refused a pump & any practicle help from my hospital they told me that i'd just have to get on with it despite having several severe hypo's where my husband had to give me glucogon injection & it was so frustrating!! I ended up changing hospitals & within 3months i had been given a pump!! Which has changed my life!
If you want any help on how i managed to change hospitals & get a pump let me know. I notice that your in Southampton i lived in Hampshire for 18mths & i went to Portsmouth hospital they have a really good pump team there so it might be an option for you to go there.
Try to be possitive which is far easier said than done!!
Take care
Chrissie
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do you have an option to go to portsmouth sam...its quite close
 
Sam, I'm sorry you're feeling this way...But not surprised. It's incredible to me how people with diabetes can keep from feeling like this ALL THE TIME. Honestly.

It IS pretty crap.

You need the change that is called the pump. What can we do to help?

I've lost track of where you are with this. Been onto the Inset guy? What's he say?

What kind of GP do you have? We have shared care because our GP was sympathetic and supportive, basically. Is that a route you could try to go elsewhere?

Oh my. Hang in there. It will get better. And once other stresses lift a little, maybe it'll get a little easier.

In any case, we're with you.

xxoo
 
Oh dear Sam, poor you. I love cream eggs as well and whilst I don't have to inject for them, they don't tend to digest at all and just go directly to my bum or hips and sits there whole waiting for another one to add to the problem 😛

I think you have answered this question yourself on what to do haven't you. You need to change hospitals. Don't stay where they don't want you or don't want you on a pump. Have you been in touch with John from INPUT. It is ringing bells but I can't remember. If you haven't then please contact him, he will help you get a pump or at least guide you in the right direction.

Find out where is the best place they pump that you can get to and get a transfer. You've made your mind up, its clear in this thread.

I wish I could help, like Bev says, I can't understand the feeling you are going though but any support I can give you I will. 🙂
 
thanks everyone, you're all awesome!

Bev, I've just checked after 10 initial units of insulin pre pasta bake and i'm 5.1 I ate about 2 hours ago...how much longer dyu reckon i should leave it. I'm aiming for bed tonight at about 11.30. Should I get Matt to wake me up later on?

This is all so confusing
 
Hi Sam, Don't have any advice to offer just (((hugs))). And good luck for tomorrow xxx
 
I fell the same. What can we do to help?

Sam please, dont let you sugar run high for this. I expect you are saying that out of frustration in this moment, but I hope you dont. I am ashammed really about it, but I let my Hba1c run higher than I could have had it to help my pump cause. Its silly. I know how you feel, I was feeling desperate. But all the same, in hindsight I was stupid to do that.

I remember that you spoke to John. Did he suggest switching to a particular team?
 
Sugarbum said:
I fell the same. What can we do to help?

Sam please, dont let you sugar run high for this. I expect you are saying that out of frustration in this moment, but I hope you dont. I am ashammed really about it, but I let my Hba1c run higher than I could have had it to help my pump cause. Its silly. I know how you feel, I was feeling desperate. But all the same, in hindsight I was stupid to do that.

I remember that you spoke to John. Did he suggest switching to a particular team?
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thank you hun xxxx

yeah i was just being hasty saying that. I wouldn't do it, i hate hospitals lol

yeah john said to transfer to bournemouth and see a professor holt? I will be mentioning it in march at southampton...scare tactics
 
salmonpuff said:
thanks everyone, you're all awesome!

Bev, I've just checked after 10 initial units of insulin pre pasta bake and i'm 5.1 I ate about 2 hours ago...how much longer dyu reckon i should leave it. I'm aiming for bed tonight at about 11.30. Should I get Matt to wake me up later on?

This is all so confusing
Click to expand...

Sam, check in half an hour and if your going up - then inject the rest. If your not going up - you will need to check in another hour in case its taking its time! Great numbers though Sam! I would ask Matt to check you at 3am (if he doesnt mind of course!) and take it from there!🙂Bev x
 
salmonpuff said:
thank you hun xxxx

yeah i was just being hasty saying that. I wouldn't do it, i hate hospitals lol

yeah john said to transfer to bournemouth and see a professor holt? I will be mentioning it in march at southampton...scare tactics
Click to expand...

Hi

I wouldn't wait that long if you are feeling like this. Have you spoken to anyone at Bournemouth. I would ring and ask about pumping etc. I would then give your hospital one last chance and email them this week. Say you desperately need a pump, you are not getting good control regardless of what your HbA1c says, it could be hypos that make it that low, you hate injections will they give you one. You need an answer by return. Say if they won't could they please do a referral to Bournemouth immediately, do not wait for March appointment, as Bournemouth will give you a pump.

If they refuse, don't worry, just go to your GP and ask him for a referral as your team are letting you down and you don't want second rate, you want the best for your health and future .........

Go for it, do it this week, you will feel so much better. 🙂
 
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