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Disastrous Diabetic

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
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Candy77

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Hi Everyone,
I have never signed up to a forum before so this is all new to me. I recently turned 40, I have two beautiful kids and a supportive hubby. Been successful in other areas of my life, career / sporting achievements etc. - lucky me eh? I have come on to this forum because having been diagnosed with Type 1 at age 11 I don't think I have ever accepted the condition. I have always had my head in the sand - ignored it, not testing glucose levels, taking insulin on an ad hoc basis just to sort myself out when I feel truly rubbish. Go to appointments (when I do go)with no glucose readings just get a lecture and walk away. I wake up in the middle of the night, in the horrors when I get the realisation of what I am doing to myself, and how I am shortening my life, and quality of life. Then I get up, go about my day continuously deprioritising my health, my condition...myself. Last HBA1C reading was a high 9 (old money). I feel very frightened and alone, so I am hoping this might help? I know I am on a one-way ticket to complications, I don't need to be told. What I don't know, is why I can't re-program myself to be more disciplined? I know I can, I have in the past - when I was pregnant I was tightly controlled. But since kids come into the mix old habits die hard and I go back to deprioritising it. Anyway, obviously I don't need sympathy, I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am taking it all for granted. But I don't know - any thoughts? Anyone have anything similar?
 
Welcome to the forum a friendly place with plenty of help.

From my own experience I went through a phase where I let things go and probably a fair few have or in a similar place. What started mine off was a lack of care from the docs in trying to get a control of my diabetes, in the end as the docs did not care I sort of slipped into the same pattern. Problems started happening and and decided enough is enough and made the attempt to get things sorted out. From a bad memory I went to see one of the HCA's who did the diabetic screening, and with her help started kicking the docs up the backside, this in turn helped me take control. Some time in the process I moved practices to one that had a better diabetic care system or at least they did at the start.

I found it can be so easy to get into the situation of letting things slide, and as a result I ended up with perm nerve damage in my feet. As diabetic care decreased at the practice I moved to it became a running battle to get anything done, and as docs changed every few months it was like getting on a merry go around with even hospital refusing referrals.

I finally got a hospital acceptance but was discharged after two appointments :( I have now moved docs again as my old one closed down and still getting to grips with their diabetic care. Since the move to the new docs and the discharge from the hospital I was knocked back down in the feeling no one wants to help or care, since then my levels have jumped up from the HbA1c of 55 to 64 in around 7 months.

As I some how managed to damage a toe the whole nail bed turned black over Xmas, I tried to get an appointment with the podiatry team but they were fully booked except drop in centres a few miles away. I managed to get an appointment with my doc, and explained what was going on and he arranged new blood tests, and to make an appointment with their diabetic specialist doctor.

First impressions of the doc is that he wants things improve, on a previous call when the results came back they maxed out my tablets as I am type 2, then came the weight problem I am trying to resolve. I explained that I am waiting for a call back of the health team, and the he said there is the option to have surgery to help with the weight problem. I have to wait until Feb to see what effect the change in meds is doing and take it from there.

Going off my own experiences over the years, if ones support team is showing lack of care and help for you, it can be so easy to slide into the situation where you don't care either. What is driving me is that I don't want the nerve damage to get any worse or get any other problems on top of my other ones, and if it means trying to drive the docs / DN's I will push but is hard to find someone who will listen and is prepared to help you, and one needs to keep at it.
 
Welcome Candy, from a T2.
 
Candy77 said:
Hi Everyone,
I have never signed up to a forum before so this is all new to me. I recently turned 40, I have two beautiful kids and a supportive hubby. Been successful in other areas of my life, career / sporting achievements etc. - lucky me eh? I have come on to this forum because having been diagnosed with Type 1 at age 11 I don't think I have ever accepted the condition. I have always had my head in the sand - ignored it, not testing glucose levels, taking insulin on an ad hoc basis just to sort myself out when I feel truly rubbish. Go to appointments (when I do go)with no glucose readings just get a lecture and walk away. I wake up in the middle of the night, in the horrors when I get the realisation of what I am doing to myself, and how I am shortening my life, and quality of life. Then I get up, go about my day continuously deprioritising my health, my condition...myself. Last HBA1C reading was a high 9 (old money). I feel very frightened and alone, so I am hoping this might help? I know I am on a one-way ticket to complications, I don't need to be told. What I don't know, is why I can't re-program myself to be more disciplined? I know I can, I have in the past - when I was pregnant I was tightly controlled. But since kids come into the mix old habits die hard and I go back to deprioritising it. Anyway, obviously I don't need sympathy, I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am taking it all for granted. But I don't know - any thoughts? Anyone have anything similar?
Click to expand...
Hey there ! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a mum and so often mums put themselves after everyone else. You have reached out and that takes courage. I’m a newbie T1 so I’m coming to grips with it all and yesterday had a total meltdown.
I’ve reached out here and seriously people have been amazing !!!!!
One step at a time and sharing your journey is a big step. If I can help in any way I absolutely will
Be kind to yourself x
 
Hello, Candy, and welcome to the forum. It's so easy, isn't it, as a busy mum, wife, carer, worker, whatever, ( and often all of those at once) to put yourself last. I bet you are the one who provides the 'glue' that holds the family together, and if glue comes loose, everything falls apart.
So. New resolution. Work out how much time you need to spend each day sorting your diabetes out, and make sure it's factored into the schedule as the number one priority. I find the worst time is pre meals, if I'm the one doing the cooking that day. How to make time to test and inject while you're finishing off, serving out, etc. I've had to learn how to put everything on slow burn for a few minutes while I do what I need ( and I still don't get it right all the time, and end up bringing test kit and pen to the table, when I should ideally have got the insulin in and working fifteen minutes sooner.)
Good luck, and keep asking us for help on here, there's always someone who's got the t shirt!
 
Really weirdly, Candy - as another who went through a similar period - when I decided I was really not happy just ignoring it (which is where you appear to be right now) - I realised trying to change everything all together was impossible - far too big a job which was exactly why I'd always put off doing it before.

The firm I worked for had a Graduate Trainee programme - so a lad in my section had just been on one of the courses and one of the many things the leader had told them all was 'How to eat a whole elephant' adding that nobody could do that ! - then suggested dividing the elephant up into bite-sized pieces and preferably, sharing it with others but you have to keep going at it, to clean the plate.

Sooooo - you have lots of us to 'share' with - which bit would you like to start with?

How about actually testing your blood before you go to bed tonight. halfway through the night and again first thing tomorrow morning, to see what's going on overnight?
 
Hi Candy and welcome.

Sounds like you were diagnosed at a similar age to me. Teenage years, young adult, socialising, married life, parent...all can be tricky enough to manage at times without throwing type 1 into the mix. Don't be hard on yourself, there's not many who haven't had similar times. To be honest, I'm suprised your test wasn't higher than 9. I've definitely had times when I've been at that level, as others have said as a mum it's easy to take your eye off the ball while sorting everyone else first.

Well you're here now and the first step of anything is definitely the hardest. As Jenny (she's very wise🙂) has said just start with one thing. Lots of people here to help you...almost a 24 hour service. Good luck.
 
Hello and welcome @Candy77 🙂

You're not a disastrous diabetic you're just going through a tough patch like most of us do at some point because it is incredibly monotonous and hard to keep it in control full time. The rest of life doesn't care that you need to carb count, test,inject etc and it is easy to start to treat it that way .

As the others have said, bite size pieces, baby steps, bits of elephant... .🙂 You know what to do and once you've got back into a routine it will take a lot less time and remove a lot of the worry and fear that you're piling on yourself.

Start to test, record the results and if they're not pretty and where you would like them then correct so you start each day from a good level. Take some time to test your basal insulin because if that is right then the other factors- correction amounts and carb ratios also will work properly. I used to inject a random amount of insulin on an ad hoc basis because I'd never been shown how to carb count but it is a quick way to hypo /hyper land . Working out the right amount of insulin to inject and having it at the right time doesn't need to take much time out of the day and the pay off is so worthwhile.🙂

Arrange an appointment with your DSN and ask for some help to get into a routine so you can improve your HbA1c. I used to get so cross when my misguided efforts were pulled apart as not good enough but if you want to change things they are more than happy to help.

I went through a rough time and since joining here I've managed to scramble my way out of a big hole thanks to this amazing forum and reading what others do. Whoever knew I could get told my HbA1c was too low! Miracles ...😉

I hope things start to improve for you soon🙂
 
DSN appointment that @Flower suggested is a very good idea. They aren't there to judge, they've seen it all before and I've always found them to be very helpful, supportive and understanding. When you feel like it, maybe ask about a dafne course, or reminder course, or similar. I went along to one 5 or 6 years ago, although quietly thinking to myself that after 35 years what could they tell me that I didn't know...well I learnt quite a bit, was reminded of things I'd forgotten and met 5 other people with the same issues and frustrations that I had...huh, who knew it wasn't just me with non perfect results ?! Seemed the others thought it was just them too! 🙂
 
trophywench said:
the leader had told them all was 'How to eat a whole elephant' adding that nobody could do that ! - then suggested dividing the elephant up into bite-sized pieces and preferably,
Click to expand...
The one I heard was:
Question: How do you get down off an elephant?
Answer: You don't. You get down from a mouse, it's easier.
I'm gussing there could be a donkey, horse and other animals to fill in the inbetween sized, (down from the elephant to a horse, from the horse to a donkey, from a donkey to a mouse).
 
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