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Diabetes Support Forum Advent Calendar

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Day 23 - Farts versus Injections 😱 :D (from August 2010)



There was a story in Wigan Today recently about a customer in a pub restaurant complaining when a woman with Type 1 diabetes injected at her table just prior to eating her meal. He claimed that she had upset his children and likened the act to the same social unpleasantness as breaking wind in public. Rather than taking the opportunity to educate his children about the unfortunate need for some people to inject in order to stay alive, instead he no doubt instilled in them the same prejudices he himself displayed.

So, are farts in restaurants more acceptable than injections? Let’s see what transpired…

Excuse me, I’m sorry, I must ask you to leave,
For our customers are shocked and distressed,
And there’s been a complaint that you made someone faint,
And the management are far from impressed!

But what did I do? I’m innocent, I say!
I was just sat here eating my meal!
I’m embarrassed and hurt by the things you assert,
Have you no care for how I might feel?

If anyone should leave, then that woman over there
Just frightened my kids by injecting!
So disgusting and crude, alarming and rude,
It is her that you should be ejecting!

So, you claim that a lady who must do that to live,
In a restaurant is far less befitting
Than to lift up one cheek and let out a slow leak
Of the gases that you were emitting?

I admit that I trumped, but it wasn’t so loud,
I don’t see what there is to discuss!
What did I do wrong? It didn’t take long,
I don’t see why you’re making a fuss!

Sir, injections are fine just before you can dine,
But a fart is a toilet-based act!
It is far from discreet and puts folk off their meat,
So in future, remember that fact! :D
 
Day 24 - Dear Santa 🙂 (from December 2009)




Dear Santa, I’m hoping that you read this list,
For I’m asking for something that lately I’ve missed,
It’s a thing called a pancreas, now I know what it’s for,
It’s something that I’d never thought of before!

I’ve got one that’s broken, and whoever would know
It was my dearest possession, and I do miss it so!
If you brought me a new one, with all working parts,
Then I could eat jellies and trifles and tarts!

I’d have roast potatoes, and parsnips as well,
But I’d lay off the sprouts (because of the smell!)
And after my turkey and cranberry sauce,
Why, then there’s the pudding – with custard of course!

And all through the day I could fill up on treats,
Like mince pies and chocolate and fruit cake and sweets!
With a lovely new pancreas I could drink lots of beer,
Till I couldn’t walk straight, but with no hypo fear!

I know that a pancreas might be hard to find,
And if you can’t get one, I won’t really mind,
Instead, leave some insulin, for my stocks might run low –
A gallon of fast-acting, and a pint of the slow! :D
 
Well done Alan. You definitely saved the best till last but they all gave me a chuckle which is a wonderful present in itself. Thank you so much!
Hope you have a wonderful Christmas full of love and joy.
 
Well done Alan and merry Christmas to you. I’m still waiting for your book of poems to be published xx
 
Christmas Day, will my wish come true? 😱 :D (from December 2009)



When I awake on Christmas Day,
I’m hoping that you’ve gone away,
For though I’ve tried to learn to love you,
There’s many a thing I’d place above you!

Diabetes, I know you care,
You never leave me, you’re always there,
But I would cope if you should go,
Just thought that I should let you know…

We’re very close, that much is true -
At every meal, it’s me and you,
And each night – oh how close you keep!
And never leave me while I sleep…

You could leave me a Christmas gift,
Or just leave, and see my spirits lift!
So how about it, if you could,
Just pack your things and go for good!

I wouldn’t miss you, can’t you see?
It’s over between you and me!
You’re not the friend you think you are,
So sling your hook, and make it far! 😱 :D

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone! Thank you to each and every one of you for continuing to make this forum the best place in the internet for friendship, advice and support 🙂 I hope 2020 is a brilliant year for you all! 🙂

I'm not planning on cooking today, but Christmas dinner is sorted...:D

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