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T

Tina63

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Have just had my son's DSN on the phone. Apparently his HbA1c has risen significantly - to 12.5%. She said at this level it has to be flagged up to the consultant and almost certainly he will find himself being admitted early next week for a few days!

Not quite sure how I feel about that. In a way relieved that this may at long last be the wake up call he so obviously needs, but also shocked. It's one thing saying he has to go in, it will be quite another getting him there! And it's not straightforward for me either, I don't have my own car, I work from home and will inconvenience loads of other people if I can't work, I am very tempted to let him feel the full brunt of what he has done and only visit him in the evenings - but, I am a softie, it will hurt me so much to do that to him.

The DSN did ask to speak to him too to tell him, so he is fully aware. He is just quiet and angry at the moment, not tearful like I expected him to be, but at least he has food for thought.

Oh well, will report back next week!
 
Such a shame it has come to this Tina :( I do hope that this makes him realise that it's just not worth it and that he buckles down. Wishing you all, all the best and that there is a good outcome from this.
 
All you can do is trust in them. It may be a shock tactic to get his emotion out.

Or it could be that they can see things spiralling down. Either way, he can either comply or rebel. The best thing would be if he got angry at them in a safe place.

They can then calm him down and explain in no uncertain terms what it means to be diabetic. And what it doesn't. We are all testament to that. All ordinary, varied people going about normal (ish) lives. But he won't see it because he refuses to look beyond the black cloud. Understandable. But not helping himself.

I hope he can reflect on it and come out of this a more determined person.🙂

Rob
 
Tina,
I feel for you and I know you love your son dearly.

I personally think that this is the best thing that could have happened. He has two choices now as he can carry on as he is and regret it when complications arrive or can take the easy way and accept the help that is offered.

Don't let guilt override what you know to be the best option as no matter how much effort you put in to helping him, he has to do the right thing for his future.

((((hugs)))) for you Tina.
 
Tina, I agree with Cherrypie - you have tried SO hard to keep things under control but it must be so difficult sitting on the sidelines and having your son ignore his condition. You both know he has to take matters into his own hands now and this may be the wakeup call he needs. It will be hard for you though, so be strong for both of you, and take care of yourself.

All the most positive thoughts I can send your way are coming along to you now. 🙂
 
Hi Tina,
Just make sure money and items to survive away from home are not available just incase he decides to go for a walk so he avoids the situation.

I also wonder if in away he has done this as a cry for help.
My personal thought is to only visit in the evening, he might open up more without his Mum being there. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))
 
So sorry it has come to this. But I'm glad to hear that the hospital is trying to "sort him out".

Will be thinking of you and your son (((Tina)))
 
Thank you all for your lovely messages of support. I was out yesterday evening so couldn't reply.

A couple of things I have pondered since the call:

1: What will they actually do whilst he is in hospital?

2: How long is he likely to be there?

He has a weekend job and though it's on his application and health forms that he has T1 I don't know that he has actually told anyone else that he has it. I would hate for it to impact on his weekend job so hope that if/when he does go in he will be discharged in time for next Saturday. If not, what do I tell work? Should I be honest and say it's due to his own poor control, or just say it's related to his diabetes? I would hate for them to start on a downer with him over it, especially as he seems to thoroughly enjoy working there and is getting on well.

I have also had thoughts the other way, what if the consultant doesn't want to admit him? What then? I actually really hope she does, as I am pretty desperate for him to get some help and if this is the way to shock him into taking proper control, then so well and good.

He will have to wait for evening visits from me. I really can't afford to mess people about, and to be blunt I will lose money too if I take time off, and I simply can't afford to. Obviously if it was a more serious situation then I would be by his side like a shot. He will have to learn some very hard lessons from this and I hope this one off experience really does get him back on track. I realise I am maybe being a bit too optimistic here, but he absolutely hates clinic appointments, so an inpatient experience is his idea of utter hell. Oh, and he will be away from his beloved computer - that'll be the hardest thing of all for him!

Nothing is going to happen until Monday at least - I think Consultants work much more Monday to Friday 9-5 these days - so that is when the DSN is going to speak to her. I guess then I just await a phone call.

Thank you all again, I will let you know as things develop.

Tina
 
Tina63 said:
Thank you all for your lovely messages of support. I was out yesterday evening so couldn't reply.

A couple of things I have pondered since the call:

1: What will they actually do whilst he is in hospital?
They will stablize his blood sugars for a start as in bring his numbers down to a normal level.They will also involve all aspects of the team to find out what is going on and why.
2: How long is he likely to be there?
I suspect but not to sure he will be out by the weekend. Simple solution though is to ask the nurse (DSN)
He has a weekend job and though it's on his application and health forms that he has T1 I don't know that he has actually told anyone else that he has it. I would hate for it to impact on his weekend job so hope that if/when he does go in he will be discharged in time for next Saturday. If not, what do I tell work? Should I be honest and say it's due to his own poor control, or just say it's related to his diabetes? I would hate for them to start on a downer with him over it, especially as he seems to thoroughly enjoy working there and is getting on well.
There is no point in lying on your sons behalf, he will just then think it's something he needs to keep hidden.Don't say anything until you know he def is going in then out of curtisy obviously you need to tell them due to an unexpected hospital stay he wont be in on Saturday.
I have also had thoughts the other way, what if the consultant doesn't want to admit him? What then? I actually really hope she does, as I am pretty desperate for him to get some help and if this is the way to shock him into taking proper control, then so well and good.
Don't dwell on it until it happens.
He will have to wait for evening visits from me. I really can't afford to mess people about, and to be blunt I will lose money too if I take time off, and I simply can't afford to. Obviously if it was a more serious situation then I would be by his side like a shot. He will have to learn some very hard lessons from this and I hope this one off experience really does get him back on track. I realise I am maybe being a bit too optimistic here, but he absolutely hates clinic appointments, so an inpatient experience is his idea of utter hell. Oh, and he will be away from his beloved computer - that'll be the hardest thing of all for him!
Do they not have TV's and computers @ bedside now?
Nothing is going to happen until Monday at least - I think Consultants work much more Monday to Friday 9-5 these days - so that is when the DSN is going to speak to her. I guess then I just await a phone call.

Thank you all again, I will let you know as things develop.

Tina
Click to expand...

Hopefully things will improve but don't expect it to happen overnight.
 
I agree with Sue. Beds are generally in short supply so they won't keep him in longer than they deem necessary.

I would tell work he's off sick personally in case it impacts on his future employment prospects. But tell him that he might need to disclose the reasons and if he complains, remind him it's his own responsibility to remain healthy. He has everything he needs for that.

I think the bedside computers and telephones are charged at an extortionate rental rate.

But he might be allowed to use his mobile.🙂

Rob
 
Robster, I hope they put him on a sliding scale because he will be pretty much 'tethered' to where he is, and although they don't confiscate your mob, 9 x out of 10 you can't get a signal ! so would have to trek wherever with it, and they are much more unwieldy than a drip stand.

I'm torn between wanting him on a childrens ward with kiddies that will just make him feel stupid to see how they cope with far worse things, or on an adult ward with diabetic amputees. The latter however are easy to ignore because if people are older, and esp if they are T2, well it doesn't apply to me anyway, does it?

Hard Tina. {{{Hugs}}} for both of you.
 
Hi Tina

Sorry to hear about this again but this is hopefully this may sort him but with young forming men it is three steps forward two steps back I fear. At his age we all think we are indestructible especially us male of the species. I know I ran some quite high numbers in me late teens early 20s in fact I had a HbA1c of 16.6%. Doctors really can't say much to change people I was told at 23 I would be dead by 26 (side note just hit 33 beginning of April) and he was surprised that my kidneys still worked at 23..... Sorry if I sound like a broken record but the only thing that changed me was getting background retinopathy at 28/9 and being told by the Opthalmologist I was so close to lazer eye surgery it was amazing, he was so shocked at the turn around when he finally discharged me as being back to almost normal with me eyes.

All thought I never had his fear of hypos and I can understand his fear of injecting around people I had it for years till I went onto MDI and hardly ever tested. He hates to be seen as different probably injecting makes an exclamation point on that. Also in my late teens I too could run high numbers and feel fine I never went DKA in fact had never heard about it till me carb counting course. Has your son ever gone DKA I'm sure a spell might help him. From what I've heard of that it is not nice and really scares me. I still think a mixtard insulin program would be better ATM for him I survived uni on it with a very random life getting up early then late etc but I always injected. IMHO it has stopped me getting more complications. NB I'm not a medical professional just going off my life and what I did.

I hope this spell in hospital would help him is the any way he could meet a few T1s with complications the younger the better (early to mid 20s). In fact could D:UK or JDRF put you in contact with a few maybe? I'll try if you want PM me but feel I may be too old at 33. It may be better for him to go in the adult wards and see the diabetic amputees etc. The man in next to me with nasty leg ulcers when i was in freaked me but he was really bad always eating rubbish so it was no wonder. Sorry if I'm rambling but I just really want to help.

At the end of the day good control isn't totally going to guarantee you don't get complications. There are loads of what I've heard classed as 'diabetic freaks' on other sites who don't have complications but I view it like a lottery if you don't have good control it is like you've bought more tickets to get complications. Also the more complications the more visits to see specialists the more time in hospital.

So hope I have helped in someway sorry if I haven't. I don't think any of us would want this ****ing disease by choice but we are gonna make damn sure it ain't gonna beat us.

Be Blessed
Marc
 
will almost certainly be childrens ward as still under childrens hospital. Sliding scale appeals to me as it will i am sure seem all the more serious to him.
 
Ok so one more question.

If he does get admitted, we need to take his insulin I presume? And I presume all the paraphenalia that goes with it - needles lancets etc? Should we just then take one spare pen/vial of each type with us as back up too?

What about hypo treatments, (Coke, Dextrose tablets etc) or would they deal with hypos some other way?

Having never had him in hospital since diagnosis this is a whole new ball game to us. I'm just doing the headless chicken bit, buying him new underwear etc :D

Incidentally, he didn't take his Lantus again Friday night, but has done last night. I really can't keep up with it all!

Thanks in advance for your help.

Tina
 
I would personally take everything medical as if I was staying away for a week and then hang on to it all with both hands.

They can be a bit inconsistent I think, as to what they want you to have control of and what they don't feel happy about.

In your son's case, I would imagine they'll just take over from the start and reintroduce the routines as he improves.

All of this is guesswork since I've not 'stayed' in hospital for a good few years (decades) but have had a couple of day operations.

I hope they carry it through. The threat of it will work wonders unless they back down, in which case he can sigh and go back to his own routine.

Rob
 
Yes, I would take all his paraphernalia with me. You never know, they might want him to use his own blood monitor, so that he will get into the habit of doing the tests.

As to telling work - I'd just tell them that he won't be able to come to work, due to problems with diabetes. They don't need to know it's self-inflicted.

Lots of hugs
 
I think if it's the childrens ward, it will most likely be a lot less hit and miss than an adult ward.

There always seem to be a lot more staff evident and approachable on the kids wards.
 
I am going to email his DSN in a few minutes. I am going to inform her about him missing Friday's Lantus and the fact he woke with pains in his feet and legs yesterday which he can't shake off and can't explain. When he first got up he was in a right state, so I innocently suggested maybe his levels were high so it might be an idea to test - never imagining he would do - but he did and his fasting level was 13.4 - that was on a morning where he HAD had his Lantus the night before, so heaven knows what it would have been on Saturday morning.

Hopefully adding this information will sway them towards admitting them if they were perhaps wavering on the decision. I do feel a right sneak, but it's all done with the best of intentions, trying to find a way to help my son.

I will let you know when I hear anything.
 
Good luck Tina. I hope he gets the best for him.🙂

Will be checking back later.

Rob
 
Good luck Tina, I'll be thinking of you today (((Tina)))
 
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