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Depression and d

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
spiritfree

spiritfree

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I am struggling with depression, probably brought on by d. I tend to get very upset over silly things. My husband never supports me with this. Tonight I tried to explain that I need comfort and support. I ended up quite upset and he told me I am f*****g mental and he is sick of it. I try so hard to get through every day. Sorry for the rant but I needed it.
 
So sorry to hear this spiritfree :( You know you can depend on us for understanding and support, so please know that we are thinking of you and hoping that things will improve for you soon. Take care, my friend 🙂
 
Im sooo sorry for your lack of support.....and im sorry but your husband needs slap!!
You need support not to be told HE is fed up with it! 😡
Please take care and as northy said we are all here for you x
 
One of the effects of depression can be a lack of motivation to do anything about it and ask for support. To have done that by talking to your hubby and getting such a nasty knock-back is horrible. :( Please don't let it prevent you going to your GP to ask for professional help - whether it's a talking therapy or a bit of chemical assistance. Take care. (((((HUGS)))))
 
first things first ....you don't need to apologize for anything ! we are all here to help 🙂

are you able to talk to your DSN about getting referred to someone you can talk to?. I am going through pre pregnancy planning and the diabetes really is a royal pain in the a**e. maybe you could start with baby steps and have little goals for each day for example, reward yourself when you reach a particular target for your daily average ? that might give you something positive to focus on and it might make you feel a bit better when you hit your targets?

Of course your husband should be more supportive, esp. as the d is a chronic disorder which wont go away with some sort of miraculous cure. Perhaps there are other underlying issues that need to be addressed?

I really hope you manage to get some help soon, and please dont blame yourself for anything and remember we are all here to support you ! 🙂

xx
 
Sorry to hear this, and what a shame your husband is being so unsupportive. Have you talked to your GP about feeling depressed? I think most people with type 1 find it gets them down sometimes, as the work involved to keep yourself well is so relentless. Speaking for myself (as a parent of a type 1) I've had some very low moods, and my (now ex) husband was unsupportive too, and totally disinterested in caring for our son's diabetes. What I have found helpful is forums like this one, meeting up with other people in the type 1 community, and also meeting up with friends who have no connection with diabetes. Sometimes it's good to talk about other stuff too!! The worst thing to do would be to shut yourself away - I speak from experience when I say you may not feel like going out and socialising, but you'll feel better if you do. 🙂
 
A good few years ago I was off work with stress for 2 years, which after I found is linked with depression, with no one helping in the family.

Tablets can help in the very short term, but some have addictive problems if not very careful. I found that a councillor helped me no end, this was one a one to one basis. This was arranged via the GP, there were also group sessions if that is more suitable. They normally have more than one councillor as different people respond to different approaches.

I never dreamed that I would be off work for that time span, thought it needed a break of a couple of weeks which turned out to be the couple of years.

Do you have a very good close friend, who is able to listen to without passing any judgement as by them listening to you, it will help you relax. Its not good that your husband does not appear to support you. Without knowing you he might find it difficult to see you in this condition and he might be struggling to know how to handle and deal with the situation and offer the right support and the frustration of this unfortunately comes out in the wrong way.
 
I am so sorry that you are not getting the support that you not only need but deserve. I was in a similar situation until I found this site and people have been so kind and helpful. I didn't have a partner that was unresponsive but I live alone in another part of the world and was looking for someone or something to turn to. You can't do any better than talk to people here. They are magnificent.
 
Just want to send you a hug {}. It is hard for those not affected to understand what people like you are experiencing. The people on this forum have been life savers for me. My family are not unsympathetic but don't know much about the condition and have busy lives. The people on this forum do know what it is like and will be supportive. They are always there to listen without criticism or judgement. Take care 🙂
 
Thanks for all of your replies. It really helps a lot knowing that I have really good supportive friends here.
 
Spiritfree

You are not alone. I've spent 10 years controlling tightly and just recently taken my finger off the button because it's so blooming relentless. Without some support it's impossible. Fortunately my hubby is supportive if sometimes a bit misguided "have you injected", (bless him), but I am so sorry yours can't see what a totally unrelentless struggle it is all the time and how much strength of character it takes to keep on and on doing it, sometimes with less than spectacular results! You aren't a whinger, you just need a bit of acknowledgement.
 
Thanks everyone. I saw my dr today and broke down in tears in her office. She is very good and takes time to listen to what I have to say. I have depression and dr prescribed me some anti depresants. I go back to see her in a few weeks to see if the medication is working. I can go back sooner if things get worse.
 
She sounds like a caring doctor. Hope the anti-depressants help, and keep talking too! 🙂
 
You will probably find the anti depressants will take a while to kick in, possibly the doctor has also started you off on a low dose, so they can build them up to a level that you need to help you.

Hope everything starts to come together for you soon.
 
Im so glad your getting proper help from your gp and hopefully the tablets will start to kick in soon and lift your mood.
All the best and chin up 🙂
 
pure hell

l have sufferd with deppsion most off my life(forgive my spelling)before diabetes came along, my husband was just the same didnt undstand ,till one day l had enoth he walked out on me & 2 young children 21 year ago,lm not say this is going to happen to you but some people have no under standing full stop,l had a bloody good councier he told me to look at it this way ,that l will have bad days middle mood day and very good days, so when l get a bad day l say to my self ok l no this wont last ,so l asept it , your not alone, l call it my van goth day .hope this helped a bit.😱
 
Hi Spiritfree, glad your doctor is supportive and I really hope the meds soon kick in and help you to feel better. Depression is a horrible thing to have and when we have to contend with the D on a daily basis it's harder still. Do keep talking to us all on here and let us know how you are doing.x
 
Thank you all. I am hoping that the tablets will work soon. I am so lucky to have good friends, on here, that always help with everything.
 
It sounds like he maybe as down as you are since that is a harsh response. I think you both may need counseling. My own partner gets down from time to time and has told me that I am hard work but he understands why. If your husband doesn't know that there is very good reason why a diabetic is twice as likely to suffer from depression, then a good chat and educating him about it should at least help. The stigma associated with mental health problems is still very much an issue today.

On a related note, I recommend doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy if you do find you get upset about silly things because it'll teach you how to rationalise and challenge these thoughts. Its not something people just automatically know how to do. It helped me a lot.

Also, if you're interested in monitoring your low moods, Google "moodscope". Whenever I have a low score day, I make sure to do something I enjoy on that day to help me feel at least little a bit better.

Take care.
 
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Look after yourself Spirit. What a helpful and supportive bunch they are on here. Just use it for a damn good rant whenever you feel it necessary. EVryone here understands.

It's hard with a condition like this that can't be seen and touched; nobody knows what it's like if they haven't got it.

Good luck to both you and your husband. Perhaps it was just he having a rant that should have been kept to himself.
 
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