Denial

[AnnW]

I am not working at this D very well at the moment. I seem to have ice creams when I want and not worry if I fancy crisps and even chips. I feel generally depressed about lots of family things and don't seem to be caring much at all. I have run out of strips, if the doc doesn't care if I test why should I ? I haven't seen the doc for a year and no evidence that I am supposed to ever see one again. My nurse is unhelpful and , to be honest, no one else cares about it all.
So... I am off to Starbucks to have a cheese and marmite panini 🙂 and maybe even a pancake ( at least I don't have anything on it at all !)
Is there any hope for me? I exercise like mad... Swimming and walking ... Because I have found I enjoy it not particularly for the health aspect ...the ice cream does kick in though

Ah well,

 

[Robster65]

Hi Ann.

If no one else seems to care about you, then not surprising that you don't. If it's merely your perception of them not caring, then you need to have an urgent conversation about it before you get trapped in the dark places, but if they really don't care, then you need to find somewhere or someone where you feel cared about.

As for eating thngs you shouldn't. If you're not able to resist at the moment, think about your retinopathy result and the worry you had before. You've done really well and don't want to go through the uncertainty of it all again. And if you can limit the bad things to just before or after your exercise, at least it may mitigate against the really high spikes.

Hope you can find an exit door from that dark place very soon.🙂

Rob

 

[cherrypie]

Hi Ann,

Reading through your post I would say that you are suffering with depression.
You have told us about the impossible situation within your family life and I am sure that has a great influence on your feelings about your diabetes. No one cares for you, so why should you care for yourself.

I really think you need to make an appointment with your G.P. and tell him/her how you are feeling about life in general and your diabetes. Be truthful and explain exactly how you feel. Counselling may be a good option as there are some decisions about how you go forward with your life that need addressing.

We all have days when we feel enough is enough with our diabetes but if this becomes a permanent way of thinking and we eat what we like, when we like then we are courting trouble as this chronic condition does have consequences if it is not managed. The swimming and walking probably give you a temporary boost as the endorphins kick in.

It is very difficult to look after ourselves when we are depressed and I think you are crying out for help but seem to be lost as to how to go about it as your support system within your family seems to be missing. Some professional help is needed IMHO.

Your lack of care with your diabetes from your HC Team leaves a lot to be desired but I think that once you become stronger in yourself you will demand that you get a better level of care.

I hope this is of some help to you and am sending you (((((hugs))))).

 

[Northerner]

Hi Ann, very sorry to hear you are feeling so detached from managing your diabetes I suspect that everything else that is going on is diminishing your resolve to take the care that you need. Unfortunately, evil diabetes responds by making you feel even more miserable and depressing your moods. You do need to take it by the scruff of the neck though, as this is the only way you can recover your strength and stop it from being a shadow on your life.

I would suggest getting an appointment with your doctor as soon as you can so you can get a plan of action in place - drifting is not helpful. If you have the kind of doctor who is not pro-active, then you need to be the one that is assertive to get the level of care you need and deserve. Do this for YOU. You can start by making a food diary - not so you can castigate yourself, but so that you can see the extent to which you may have 'slipped'. Remember we will support you and help you as much as we can. I find that having goals helps me when I am feeling like you - how about putting that exercise to good use and doing a sponsored event to raise money for someone or something important to you? Focusing on the needs of others can often help put our own trials and tribulations in perspective and help to direct your energies in a positive and rewarding way 🙂

Good luck, and don't give up!!! 🙂

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Sorry to read your post Ann.

Thinking of you and hoping you see a way out soon.

M

 

[Natalie123]

Oh, Ann. I'm so sorry. I think Cherry Pie has "hit the nail on the head" so to speak. You don't have the love and support you need at the moment and it sounds like you are sliding into a dark place.

Doing exercise regularly releases happy hormones so keep it up 🙂

Can you register with a different doctor if yours is so bad and ask to be referred to a different nurse at a different hospital, it is your right to chose where you are treated and who by. If you have a doctor who is not very pro-active, like Alan said, you have to be strong and forceful yourself, but if you are anything like me, when you are feeling down it is very hard to do that. Can you take someone with you who could stick up for you?

I found that sorting out my depression and emotions has really helped me to motivate myself in controlling my diabetes, it is really important that you talk to a doctor about how you feel, or look into whether there is a counselling service that you can refer yourself too xx

Most importantly, don't ever give up, we all care for you and if I could get to London to give you a big hug I would xx Lots of Love, Nat x

 

[Newtothis]

I am not working at this D very well at the moment. I seem to have ice creams when I want and not worry if I fancy crisps and even chips. I feel generally depressed about lots of family things and don't seem to be caring much at all. I have run out of strips, if the doc doesn't care if I test why should I ? I haven't seen the doc for a year and no evidence that I am supposed to ever see one again. My nurse is unhelpful and , to be honest, no one else cares about it all.
So... I am off to Starbucks to have a cheese and marmite panini 🙂 and maybe even a pancake ( at least I don't have anything on it at all !)
Is there any hope for me? I exercise like mad... Swimming and walking ... Because I have found I enjoy it not particularly for the health aspect ...the ice cream does kick in though

Ah well,

Hi Ann, I am newly diagnosed and have found your comments and support to me and others priceless. I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time but a lot of people on this site care about you deeply. As others have suggested its really important that you speak to your GP about how you're feeling. From what you have written on your posts you're doing brilliantly 🙂 Throwing you a big hug Amanda x

 

[am64]

hi Ann ..cant really say much more than the others ... I too, like many others on here suffer from depression but by recognising it i am able to manage it and like the ole Diabetes try not to let it ruin my life x
sending you huge hugs ...the thing about this place is that it is a SUPPORT forum ...there is always someone here for you ....

 

[margie]

I agree with what others have said - you feel that no one is there for you and no one cares so why even bother trying. One symptom of depression can be over eating or under eating another is feeling that you don't matter and no one cares.

Have a chat with your Dr. (if your practice has more than one see one who may listen). Some practices have counsellors attached and others can refer. In some parts of the country there are charities that provide counselling for free.

Remember your lovely daughter loves you and we all care.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[vince13]

So sorry to read your post, Ann, and I feel so useless being unable to add anything more positive than has been said on here to you.

Be strong for yourself and try to get some GP/Diabetic Team support so you can move on.

Please take care of yourself - you are a valued member of this Forum and have extended friends even if we have not met personally.

More hugs coming your way from down in Somerset.

 

[AnnW]

Thank you people 🙂 it is lovely to know you all care and understand . I am working on it - just .
🙂