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Daughter Sneakily eating food keep finding wrappers…

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danmark

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Hi I’m literally at my wits end.. I keep finding wrappers hidden in my daughters room where she’s sneaking food mainly choc and crisps and she’s not taking insulin for them either.. her bloods are high most of the time because she keeps doing this and I’m fighting a losing battle trying to get her bg down. She’s been diagnosed since sept 2021 and is 13. I keep those things in the house for pack lunch things for my partner and son but I’m thinking I’m going to have to start keeping stuff locked in my wardrobe because it keeps happening and daughter keeps lying to me.. has anyone experienced this? She’s aware of what can happen if bloods are high all the time but just doesn’t care. Really struggling with her
 
Hi,

As an adult I appreciate BG management” now. But could it be your daughter feels excluded to the the snacks your partner & son are entitled too?

Sounds possibly like a “rebellion.?”
 
Hi there. You say you keep snacks for your husband and son- does your daughter not have the same access to snacks/treats as your son does?
 
Sometimes making foods forbidden just makes them more appealing. I think locking the snacks away is a bad idea and could make your daughter more resentful and more likely to source snacks herself outside the home. There’s no reason why Type 1s can’t eat crisps and chocolate. The problem is she’s not bolusing for them. If you allowed her to eat them then you could help her count the carbs and work out an appropriate bolus.
 
No not at all they are for everyone and I do incorporate these into lunch,s/snacks sometimes the problem is she’s wanting these sweet sugary junk foods everyday, and it’s also big bars of chocolate grab bags of crisps she buys in the shop after school sometimes and hides. I’ve told her if she wants those things then just be honest and I will work them out for her as she does struggle with carb counting but as I said she just wants those foods all the time.
 
What’s her blood sugar like? Sometimes highs (and lows) can cause hunger and cravings? Could it be something stressing her? Food can be a comfort. Is she struggling with the diabetes or feeling different?

Does she have any close friends who could talk to her? It’s a difficult age even without diabetes.
 
Her bg is high it’s been high for a while we are working with the nurses to get it down but this problem isn’t helping matters, She is struggling but won’t admit it the nurse asked her if she would like to talk to someone but she said no, she keeps a lot inside.. she hates being diabetic
I feel so helpless it kills me inside and I would literally take it for her if I could
 
Id really encourage you to see if your clinical team can put you in touch with a psychologist for the family as there are multiple issues going on here- eating large amounts of food, doing so alone, hiding this, not blousing for it, and also possibly lying about it. Being a teenager is tough (as is being a parent of one), an outside person may be able to offer perspective and neutrality.
 
danmark said:
Her bg is high it’s been high for a while we are working with the nurses to get it down but this problem isn’t helping matters, She is struggling but won’t admit it the nurse asked her if she would like to talk to someone but she said no, she keeps a lot inside.. she hates being diabetic
I feel so helpless it kills me inside and I would literally take it for her if I could
Click to expand...
Sorry I posted before I read this. It sounds like you are all having a very tough time and I really feel for you. If she won’t talk to someone right now, she may be willing to do so in a few weeks, so keep the option open. In the meanwhile, it may be worth you do so, so you are supported in supporting her.
 
Your daughter probably just feels rebellious against it, most teenagers won’t like the feeling of being different from their peers and she may just be wondering “why me?”

Coming from another teenager, it is difficult to talk to someone about it so your daughter may do eventually. What have you tried with her?
 
danmark said:
Her bg is high it’s been high for a while we are working with the nurses to get it down but this problem isn’t helping matters, She is struggling but won’t admit it the nurse asked her if she would like to talk to someone but she said no, she keeps a lot inside.. she hates being diabetic
I feel so helpless it kills me inside and I would literally take it for her if I could
Click to expand...

I think most people would say No, even if they did need help (and I include adults in that). If she could talk to a psychologist on her team that would be great - as a ‘routine appointment’, ie offered to all. The ‘right’ DSN might also be able to click with her and get her to open up. You could also ask if her team use mentoring or diabuddies, where she can speak to someone in a similar position.

I know she probably won’t speak to you but would she listen to you? After all, you know her best. Obviously avoid any criticism and offer sympathy. Sometimes that will be enough to open a conversation up. You might be told how you ‘don’t understand’ and encounter some anger, but remain calm and agree. The feeling of anger and unfairness at a Type 1 diagnosis can be quite visceral. If she is willing to engage with you, perhaps you could plan her meals so she always has a snack or treat to look forward to.

If her blood sugars are high, then that will be making her feel horrible both physically and mentally. Perhaps she feels that she’s working hard to control the diabetes but there’s no point because whatever she does her blood sugars stay high, so she might as well eat what she wants.

It’s a concern that she’s not bolusing for the chocolate and crisps. Has she put on weight since diagnosis (either through diagnosis or just as normal puberty growth)? Eating disorders are prevalent in teens without diabetes, and diabetes brings its own special burden (and self-hatred sometimes) and the risk of diabulimia. It might be worth getting general advice from BEAT about the best way to approach things. They won’t be able to help with the diabetes side, but they could give pointers about what to do/not do when confronted with such binge like behaviour. It’s a difficult path to tread.

Could you speak to someone about your feelings? Just offloading and picking through them can be a massive help x
 
Nobody 'needs' chocolate and crisps. Don't buy them then she won't feel deprived. Buy fruit and nuts.
 
Ditto said:
Nobody 'needs' chocolate and crisps. Don't buy them then she won't feel deprived. Buy fruit and nuts.
Click to expand...

When I was first diagnosed, I craved sweet foods. I didn’t need them, but knowing I couldn’t just sit down and eat large quantities made me want them more. If they hadn’t been in the house, I’d just have bought them, as this girl is doing.
 
danmark said:
Hi I’m literally at my wits end.. I keep finding wrappers hidden in my daughters room where she’s sneaking food mainly choc and crisps and she’s not taking insulin for them either.. her bloods are high most of the time because she keeps doing this and I’m fighting a losing battle trying to get her bg down. She’s been diagnosed since sept 2021 and is 13. I keep those things in the house for pack lunch things for my partner and son but I’m thinking I’m going to have to start keeping stuff locked in my wardrobe because it keeps happening and daughter keeps lying to me.. has anyone experienced this? She’s aware of what can happen if bloods are high all the time but just doesn’t care. Really struggling with her
Click to expand...
The simplest and easiest thing to do is leave a note for your daughter if she isn't up for a discussion.
Explaining it is ok to eat these things but she has a trade off she needs insulin to be able to do so.
Denying her these so called hidden fruits is only going to make things worse also as a teenager and hormones raging common sense and reasoning doesn't exist at times, esp with high blood sugars :(

Even though I am 58years down the road with diabetes I can still remember the rebellion of my teenage years and the despair of my mother :( Lucky for me I had a very good paediatrician who told me in no uncertain terms I could eat what I wanted as long as I had extra insulin to cover it.
 
No foods are off limit for our diabetic kid and we encourage dessert, sweets, chocolate, crisps etc at meal times so that there’s no feeling of deprivation but he’s getting insulin. When he was first diagnosed at 8 he had 60-70 carbs per meal and that was probably 20-30g of dessert. Now he’s just turned 13 and has somewhere around 100g of carbs per meal with about 40g being dessert. But there are times when he wants pizza and cake and ice cream or when we’ve baked cupcakes and he wants 2 or whatever when it’s nearer 120-130g carbs.

We found that giving big meals and having access to all the foods he wants means he snacks less and he has no reason to hide what he’s eating. This has worked well for us so far.
 
Inka said:
When I was first diagnosed, I craved sweet foods. I didn’t need them, but knowing I couldn’t just sit down and eat large quantities made me want them more. If they hadn’t been in the house, I’d just have bought them, as this girl is doing.
Click to expand...

Well put, can totally relate to that.
 
she hates being diabetic
**

Sadly, I suspect this is your answer. She hates being diabetic. She hates being different from her mates. Different from 'everyone else'. Just...different.

As others are saying, if she is in denial, or rebellion, or whatever, I doubt any 'good advice' from either parents or 'experts' is going to make a difference.

What she might listen to, though, is her fellow teenage diabetics. Is there a forum for them, or whatever social media she's likely to use? Something that will engage her, and make her feel less 'weird' etc etc. Make her feel part of a 'new group?

I know it sounds nothing like, but as a newbie to this forum, I now feel a lot more 'at home' with my DX, and less 'weird' myself, so hopefully it can be similar for volatile teens?

Teenage girls have so often a totally toxic relationship to food anyway, even without the complication of something like diabetes, so it's going to be hard for her.

Also, if she's always had a junky/sugary diet (??) she (probably??) has never been sporty?? So can there be a way to turn her around completely (ie, almost outwith the DB), so that she develops a body-positive attitude, and wants to make the most of her appearance, not sabotage it with poor diet and no exercise? (It doesn't have to be sport - absolutely not - any exercise she likes, eg, dance, gym, whatever, will pay dividends)

(I make allowance that it could be that she is very sporty and so has got away with a junky/sugary diet!!!)

This may be a bit farfetched, but maybe (?) you (or, more like, her peers) could 'sell' DB to her as a mechanism for getting fitter, through good diet and sufficient exercise, all round (and therefore more attractive!) (OK, not trying to sound like appearance is all, but for a teenage female it's usually a VERY high 'want' on their personal agendas.)

Could you possibly set 'rewards' for her, I wonder? eg, if she sticks to a lower-carb, healthier diet, gets some kind of exercise regime going, then you'll reward her with something nice - an outfit she wants, a concert she wants to go to, whatever whatever? It could be the motivation she needs to help her turn thing around?

I do wish you all the best possible - teenagers, let alone teenage girls, let alone teenage girls with a health issue, is not easy............
 
PS - on this forum, not sure where, but recently, another parent was saying that her 19 y.o son with T1 was thinking of starting a blog....that might be just the kind of thing to put your daughter in touch with if he gets it going?

If your daughter realises there is a whole world (an 'exclusive club'!) of 'people like her' (ie, teens of both sexes with DB) then it could be something she realises she wants to be part of? She won't be 'different' from them.....
 
Finding other teens with Type 1 online is a great idea @Callista but, as a teen, I’d have been extremely upset if someone tried to sell Type 1 to me as a great way to get healthy! It’s an auto-immune condition and the healthiest people in the world can still get it! It’s nothing to do with ‘poor diet’ or eating crisps or chocolate. Something triggers the auto-immune attack on the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas and your own body destroys them, leaving you reliant on external insulin.

Type 1s don’t need to limit carbs or lose weight. We can eat normally but need to learn how to ‘be our own pancreas’ and inject appropriate amounts of insulin. A Type 1 diagnosis is a kick in the teeth and coming to terms with it is hard - especially so if you’re a child or teen.
 
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