Dating, partners and friends

[SB2015]

Whoever you have around you, you have a host of us in here who just get it.
There are people on here that really helped me to get through the problems I had.
You will know who to turn to and there are lots of different approaches available.
Blunt and to the point. Sympathetic. Just tap in. Also there is the Diabetes Uk Support line. They have trained counsellors for you to access.

 

[Shaz88]

Hi Shaz

I do know of others who are living alone with T1 and manage their condition.
It is good to have people around but can can you cultivate some friends. Explain to them what the issues are for you, and be clear how they can help.

Hi,

I'm abit of an introvert, I live alone as I have come to realise its maybe best. I think my state of mind isnt good at the moment, been struggling for nearly a year, I keep reaching out occasionally and then retreat back, I've been on here now and again then I go again, it's a bit of a ferris wheel life, sometimes I'm at the top, then other times I carry on passed the top and go down again. When I reach out I don't really know what I'm looking for so I go again into my own world. I think once I have a definite diagnosis of type 1 I can move on and get better treatment.
Most of the time I feel I need to be around someone else in my situation, to not feel so on my own, I know there are thousands of others in the same situation as me, but we all deal with it differently, we all have diabetes but affects us all differently, in my case it just isn't working well but I've only been on insulin since April last year, so still early days really, it hasn't been the best two years of my life.
I'm sure I will find a way thru one day and live a relatively good life x

 

[SB2015]

Hi,

I'm abit of an introvert, I live alone as I have come to realise its maybe best. I think my state of mind isnt good at the moment, been struggling for nearly a year, I keep reaching out occasionally and then retreat back, I've been on here now and again then I go again, it's a bit of a ferris wheel life, sometimes I'm at the top, then other times I carry on passed the top and go down again. When I reach out I don't really know what I'm looking for so I go again into my own world. I think once I have a definite diagnosis of type 1 I can move on and get better treatment.
Most of the time I feel I need to be around someone else in my situation, to not feel so on my own, I know there are thousands of others in the same situation as me, but we all deal with it differently, we all have diabetes but affects us all differently, in my case it just isn't working well but I've only been on insulin since April last year, so still early days really, it hasn't been the best two years of my life.
I'm sure I will find a way thru one day and live a relatively good life x

Hi Shaz
I know it is not easy, but just remember that we are here for you if needed.

 

[Shaz88]

Whoever you have around you, you have a host of us in here who just get it.
There are people on here that really helped me to get through the problems I had.
You will know who to turn to and there are lots of different approaches available.
Blunt and to the point. Sympathetic. Just tap in. Also there is the Diabetes Uk Support line. They have trained counsellors for you to access.

Hi,

Thank you, that's a great help. I have read some post in the depression section and I have seen you have had your fair share of moments. I wish you well, it is very difficult and hard for people who haven't got this to know what to do and how to deal with what happens. I hope to find something on here and great support which I have had so far.
Thanks again x

 

[Shaz88]

Hi Shaz
I know it is not easy, but just remember that we are here for you if needed.

Thank you so much for your kind words and support, also some really good advice, much appreciated x

 

[PhoebeC]

I think everyone else has already provided lots of useful info.

I would just like to add, if you are not happy with yourself now then adding another person to it might not be for the best. However don't stop it from happening if it does.

I have been married for nearly 10 years, had diabetes 13 it's always been part of me since then, but it has so little impact on him. I've only ever needed help with it when I was pregnant. I told him when I felt it was right, as I do in any new personal relationship but its not all of me, so its just when I feel its relevant. My best friend knew me before D, I don't think she knows anything about it, doesn't bother me. Then I have friends who get it, and ask me about it and we can talk about my issues, every relationship is different.

I would also say a lot of people on here are my friends and the best sources of knowledge and support you could find.

 

[AJLang]

Hi, thanks for your reply and the story of you. Do you feel that because you have had diabetes since a child that there is no sense of loss as you did not experience life without it? Your added illnesses I guess have possibly made life worse but not the diabetes but a contribution?


Not at all I feel a big sense of loss because I’ve never not had to think about diabetes, never known what it’s like to feel “normal” but I’ve had to get on with it.

 

[Martin Canty]

I know that most of the replies have been for T1's but here's my experience as a T2.... The first person I informed after DX was my wife, who has been incredibly supportive, the next 2 groups (for whom the disease might have a direct impact as I didn't know how my body was going to react & they may need to support me in an emergency situation) were my Search & Rescue team & my County Fire station (I was a paid call firefighter at the time). I have never made any secret about being Diabetic and, when appropriate, I open up to people about my disease and how I cope with it, sometimes my history from being on medication to D&E.

I think that everyone has been very supportive & every so often the conversation leads to a revelation that they are Diabetic (for example, a new contract that I started in Florida, out of a team of 7, there was 1 T1 & 2 of us were T2), all of us were quite open about it. no shame, no guilt, just acceptance.

Back to my wife, she totally gets my diet choices (sometimes reminding me to eat earlier if I hit the wine before dinner), she also reminds me to include starchy options if we are entertaining & encourages me to indulge every so often. She also puts up with a Yoga schedule that may end up with late dinners (only 1 night a week now as that have moved 2 evening classes to 1630 as opposed to 1815).

My S&R team, though my neuropathy is S1 impingement related rather than Diabetic neuropathy understand that I don't to field operations as I may hurt myself (and potentially the mission) because of a slight lack of feeling in my left ankle/foot; again being open & honest goes a long way to get that acceptance.

 

[Shaz88]

I think everyone else has already provided lots of useful info.

I would just like to add, if you are not happy with yourself now then adding another person to it might not be for the best. However don't stop it from happening if it does.

I have been married for nearly 10 years, had diabetes 13 it's always been part of me since then, but it has so little impact on him. I've only ever needed help with it when I was pregnant. I told him when I felt it was right, as I do in any new personal relationship but its not all of me, so its just when I feel its relevant. My best friend knew me before D, I don't think she knows anything about it, doesn't bother me. Then I have friends who get it, and ask me about it and we can talk about my issues, every relationship is different.

I would also say a lot of people on here are my friends and the best sources of knowledge and support you could find.

Your right about the not having a person in my life, it isn't that I'm not happy with myself, just I'm not dealing with being diabetic, so yes I have made that decision now that if I'm not happy with it then why expect someone else to deal with it if I cant. So I am not looking or considering it, i can be alone, I don't mind.
I'm sure I am not the only person out there that does not deal with it well, I'm pleased for those who do, whether it's been for life or recently, we all see it differently and live with it.
Mostly on here people have partners so they have support someone they have had to share it with, belive me it is alot different alone, night hypos are more scary than daytime when you haven't got someone laid next to you. My friends don't really know what to do as they have no knowledge or family, it has made my children panic incase they get it too, so it's been a journey. Things do not go well for all diabetics.

 

[Shaz88]

I know that most of the replies have been for T1's but here's my experience as a T2.... The first person I informed after DX was my wife, who has been incredibly supportive, the next 2 groups (for whom the disease might have a direct impact as I didn't know how my body was going to react & they may need to support me in an emergency situation) were my Search & Rescue team & my County Fire station (I was a paid call firefighter at the time). I have never made any secret about being Diabetic and, when appropriate, I open up to people about my disease and how I cope with it, sometimes my history from being on medication to D&E.

I think that everyone has been very supportive & every so often the conversation leads to a revelation that they are Diabetic (for example, a new contract that I started in Florida, out of a team of 7, there was 1 T1 & 2 of us were T2), all of us were quite open about it. no shame, no guilt, just acceptance.

Back to my wife, she totally gets my diet choices (sometimes reminding me to eat earlier if I hit the wine before dinner), she also reminds me to include starchy options if we are entertaining & encourages me to indulge every so often. She also puts up with a Yoga schedule that may end up with late dinners (only 1 night a week now as that have moved 2 evening classes to 1630 as opposed to 1815).

My S&R team, though my neuropathy is S1 impingement related rather than Diabetic neuropathy understand that I don't to field operations as I may hurt myself (and potentially the mission) because of a slight lack of feeling in my left ankle/foot; again being open & honest goes a long way to get that acceptance.

Hey,
Thanks for your reply. So are you now off medication? You managed to get it under Co trol, how did you end up with neuropathy? Had it gone un noticed too long?
Pleased you also have the support of a partner makes all the difference I'm sure to have guidance when you are possibly not thinking straight.

 

[Martin Canty]

Hey,
Thanks for your reply. So are you now off medication? You managed to get it under Co trol, how did you end up with neuropathy? Had it gone un noticed too long?
Pleased you also have the support of a partner makes all the difference I'm sure to have guidance when you are possibly not thinking straight.

I am off of D related meds (I still take Lisinopril for high BP (though the fact that my BP is taken in the Dr.'s office while standing may not help😱 The big change occurred when I changed my diet to low carb.... As I descended into the low carb heresy I got many Hypo's as I didn't understand fully the impact of Glyburide on my insulin production. On my Dr.'s advice I halved that medication then cut it entirely (within a week of that visit). The metformin was cut as I forgot where I'd put the tablets & it didn't make much of a difference anyway.
The Neuropathy came about after I aggregated a long standing lower back injury; I ended up with L4/L5 nerve impingement causing Drop Foot & S1 impingement causing Neuropathy.... Yoga helped out with this big time to the point where I only have lingering numbness, some days worse than others.
Bonnie has been great, she helped me to purge the pantry on day one, never blamed my lifestyle (though I was fairly active), was very pleased that within days some of my symptoms were reducing & within weeks my temper/bad moods were (mostly) a thing of the past.
In all, being diagnosed T2 had many positive outcomes, the benefits, in general, outweigh the negatives,

 

[Shaz88]

I am off of D related meds (I still take Lisinopril for high BP (though the fact that my BP is taken in the Dr.'s office while standing may not help😱 The big change occurred when I changed my diet to low carb.... As I descended into the low carb heresy I got many Hypo's as I didn't understand fully the impact of Glyburide on my insulin production. On my Dr.'s advice I halved that medication then cut it entirely (within a week of that visit). The metformin was cut as I forgot where I'd put the tablets & it didn't make much of a difference anyway.
The Neuropathy came about after I aggregated a long standing lower back injury; I ended up with L4/L5 nerve impingement causing Drop Foot & S1 impingement causing Neuropathy.... Yoga helped out with this big time to the point where I only have lingering numbness, some days worse than others.
Bonnie has been great, she helped me to purge the pantry on day one, never blamed my lifestyle (though I was fairly active), was very pleased that within days some of my symptoms were reducing & within weeks my temper/bad moods were (mostly) a thing of the past.
In all, being diagnosed T2 had many positive outcomes, the benefits, in general, outweigh the negatives,

Hey,

I see I understand now, you have done really well to change your diagnosis with alot of hard work by the sounds of it especially with other factors due to your injury, must have been tough but well done on your achievement

 

[Amity Island]

Hey,

How does your partners deal with your diabetes? And for the single diabetics out there, how do you feel about dating and how to approach it?

Shaz

Hi Shaz, i'd be inclined to turn your question around. Let that person find you! What I am basically saying is, looks, shape, status, job, situation, illnesses, meant/mean nothing to me when I was looking for a partner (or friend). I think someone's soul, intentions, character and values are the most important thing, everything else wasn't/isn't a factor for me. Sometimes that means your circle of friends becomes smaller, but the quality of each of those remaining friendships increases. btw if someone having an illness was a reason to put people off someone, given the range and scale of illnesses in the western world today, there probably wouldn't be many people left to chose from.🙂 I honestly don't know anybody that hasn't got some kind of condition or problem.

 

[Shaz88]

Hi Shaz, i'd be inclined to turn your question around. Let that person find you! What I am basically saying is, looks, shape, status, job, situation, illnesses, meant/mean nothing to me when I was looking for a partner (or friend). I think someone's soul, intentions, character and values are the most important thing, everything else wasn't/isn't a factor for me. Sometimes that means your circle of friends becomes smaller, but the quality of each of those remaining friendships increases. btw if someone having an illness was a reason to put people off someone, given the range and scale of illnesses in the western world today, there probably wouldn't be many people left to chose from.🙂 I honestly don't know anybody that hasn't got some kind of condition or problem.

Hi, yes this is very true. I have decided that I had a moment when I felt I would like to date again but soon got rid of that idea 😉I do let diabetes control me at the moment but early days and yes, there definitely isn't many people out there that hasn't got something going for sure🙂