Concerns about being upgraded from member to well known member etc.

[Lanny]

I haven’t been on many forums, this is only my 3rd. I left my 1st. forum after being hurt by what I now know as trolling. It was over 10 years before I joined another & from the start stated “agree or disagree with me but, don’t get personal & offensive”. Those were about tv shows I like. This forum is SO much more serious!

I read the posts here to see what you were like before joining. I’m surprised at the speed with which I’ve progressed from being a member, an active member & now a well known member.

But, something else concerns me more. Sometimes I read something that moves me to reply & I write a long post, read it afterwards & decide not to post. I delete it but, keep an eye on the thread as I’m concerned. When I come back I find the text I’ve written still there but, greyed out. Does anybody else see it?

I’m trying to operate on the maxim of “thinking something is not the same as saying something”. In the 1st. instance it stays in my head & in the 2nd. instance once it’s said it can’t be taken back.

But, I’m human & make mistakes. I’ve made a post & another member’s response made me realise I may have sounded unsympathetic when I wasn’t trying to be. I thought about removing the post but, it’s already been seen & garnered a response.

I don’t want that to happen again & I want to feel confident that what I’ve decided not to post, afterward, is not seen!

 

[Amigo]

I haven’t been on many forums, this is only my 3rd. I left my 1st. forum after being hurt by what I now know as trolling. It was over 10 years before I joined another & from the start stated “agree or disagree with me but, don’t get personal & offensive”. Those were about tv shows I like. This forum is SO much more serious!

I read the posts here to see what you were like before joining. I’m surprised at the speed with which I’ve progressed from being a member, an active member & now a well known member.

But, something else concerns me more. Sometimes I read something that moves me to reply & I write a long post, read it afterwards & decide not to post. I delete it but, keep an eye on the thread as I’m concerned. When I come back I find the text I’ve written still there but, greyed out. Does anybody else see it?

I’m trying to operate on the maxim of “thinking something is not the same as saying something”. In the 1st. instance it stays in my head & in the 2nd. instance once it’s said it can’t be taken back.

But, I’m human & make mistakes. I’ve made a post & another member’s response made me realise I may have sounded unsympathetic when I wasn’t trying to be. I thought about removing the post but, it’s already been seen & garnered a response.

I don’t want that to happen again & I want to feel confident that what I’ve decided not to post, afterward, is not seen!

Yes that ‘ghosting effect’ where the words remain is a feature of this site Lanny and it can be useful on occasion and a nuisance at other times.

It sounds to me like you’ve had an unpleasant time on other forums, some of which are unregulated and allow trolls to run riot and offend people. This site isn’t like that and personal abuse is jumped on by the Support Team. You sound to be a considerate and helpful poster so I wouldn’t stress about sometimes saying the ‘wrong things’. If your intention is genuine, people will understand. We all say things in the wrong ways at times but the important thing is meaning well and caring about the feelings of others. Which you obviously do!

 

[Northerner]

Hi @Lanny, when you are writing a response the text is periodically automatically saved so that you don't lose it if you lose your connection. It can be annoying, but no-one else will see the text if you don't post it. The 'member status' is just based on the number of posts you have made, and is purely a reflection of your activity on the forum 🙂

 

[Lanny]

Oh, that’s a load off my mind! Thanks, guys!

 

[grovesy]

I haven’t been on many forums, this is only my 3rd. I left my 1st. forum after being hurt by what I now know as trolling. It was over 10 years before I joined another & from the start stated “agree or disagree with me but, don’t get personal & offensive”. Those were about tv shows I like. This forum is SO much more serious!

I read the posts here to see what you were like before joining. I’m surprised at the speed with which I’ve progressed from being a member, an active member & now a well known member.

But, something else concerns me more. Sometimes I read something that moves me to reply & I write a long post, read it afterwards & decide not to post. I delete it but, keep an eye on the thread as I’m concerned. When I come back I find the text I’ve written still there but, greyed out. Does anybody else see it?

I’m trying to operate on the maxim of “thinking something is not the same as saying something”. In the 1st. instance it stays in my head & in the 2nd. instance once it’s said it can’t be taken back.

But, I’m human & make mistakes. I’ve made a post & another member’s response made me realise I may have sounded unsympathetic when I wasn’t trying to be. I thought about removing the post but, it’s already been seen & garnered a response.

I don’t want that to happen again & I want to feel confident that what I’ve decided not to post, afterward, is not seen!

I often write a reply and change my mind too.

 

[Ljc]

Hi Lanny. I’m glad you felt able to post your concerns. After the experience you had with that first site I understand why you were worried, hopefully the replies so far have helped put your mind at rest.
I’ve been here a couple of years now and have found in the main that people here are friendly and helpful, yes we do have the occasional problem but this place is very well moderated.
At first this site may seem serious it’s because of the condition we all share however we do have fun and once you get to know us you’ll see we also share agsoh (a good sense of humour).

You are obviously a very caring person, believe me we don’t get upset easily, so if you do make a mistake or sound a bit harsh , someone may mention it or put you right but we won’t jump down your throat or hound you.
I’ve made mistakes on here myself so I’m talking from experience.
🙂

 

[Lanny]

Ljc, I know you guys have a good sense of humour: you’ve made me roar with laughter! It lifts me up when I feel dishearted.

 

[Ralph-YK]

Hi Lanny. The feature you describe is a draft copy/saved edit. It isn't posted. It allows you to come back and edit/finish before posting.

I've been on several forums/social media and elsewhere and can understand your feelings.
This is a pretty safe forum to be I think. Although there is an vocational bump, it's rare to see anything approaching an attack or snark. The admin(/mods?) do keep an eye on things.
There is losing for language & tone (I think), and things can get removed.

Please keep reading and posting. You'll help make this a place to come.

 

[Diabetes UK]

Lanny, thanks for sharing insight into your experience of joining this forum, and really glad that you felt able to join the conversation after what sounds like a very difficult, previous forum experience.
I think you've hit the nail bang on the head - you are only human and make mistakes, like the rest of us! I am sure you are not the only one who rights a post and re-thinks or re-writes (I have definitely done this).
You are clearly considerate in your posting and your intention is supportive. One of the great things about this forum is the diversity of opinions, advice and comments and reading other people's posts can sometimes give you a different perspective on something written or even something you have written. But all comments are valuable, and having that breadth of different comments can help give a wider view.
Really glad to have you onboard, and glad this bunch have already made you roar with laughter!

 

[chaoticcar]

The trouble with commenting on a forum is that there is no facial expressions of body language to see ,just hard cold print ! I try to imagine people posting with a caring or concerned attitude, most of the time it works
CAROL

 

[trophywench]

We rarely widely experience trolling on here - because not only the Admin and the moderators have sharp eyes and can usually 'smell' them as soon as they raise their heads above the parapet - so do any number of the members.

If anyone ever suspects this - just hit the 'Report' button immediately and say so straight out - no explanation needed - and it absolutely will be, pdq, be scrutinised. If Admin agree it is one, it is quickly despatched to the dustbin and the person blocked. It is entirely possible to block any posts from one particular country or even one particular internet provider if necessary! We have had to do both those things any number of times in the past on 'my' forum.

If Admin don't agree - they tell you that and why - it's always been very efficient so far here!

 

[Lanny]

Oh, I'm maybe a bit thick, but, how do I report?

I saw a headline in the early hours of this morning that puzzled me. When I read it, it was a new member's post clearly advertising a sexual enhancement. I wanted to report it but, didn't know how. After going to sleep & coming back here, it was removed, thankfully! I tried more options but, that was for uploading pictures.

 

[Ljc]

Lanny , you’ll find the report button under the post left hand side
Where it says the persons name and how long ago it was posted ( Lanny, 1 minute agoReport)
Just click on report and you’ll be able to post the reason, ie spam.

I saw that post and reported it

 

[Radders]

Oh, I'm maybe a bit thick, but, how do I report?

I saw a headline in the early hours of this morning that puzzled me. When I read it, it was a new member's post clearly advertising a sexual enhancement. I wanted to report it but, didn't know how. After going to sleep & coming back here, it was removed, thankfully! I tried more options but, that was for uploading pictures.

At the foot of each post, can you see the word “report” in blue?
Edited because Ljc got there first!

 

[Lanny]

Oh, duh! I DO see it now. Thanks guys.

 

[grovesy]

Oh, I'm maybe a bit thick, but, how do I report?

I saw a headline in the early hours of this morning that puzzled me. When I read it, it was a new member's post clearly advertising a sexual enhancement. I wanted to report it but, didn't know how. After going to sleep & coming back here, it was removed, thankfully! I tried more options but, that was for uploading pictures.

I reported one this morning. That is when alot of them appear.

 

[Ralph-YK]

Drat, I missed how to enh....
😱😳

Like I've said before, it's possible to miss admin happening. I'd not actually seen that post.

 

[Jeandp]

Lanny , you’ll find the report button under the post left hand side
Where it says the persons name and how long ago it was posted ( Lanny, 1 minute agoReport)
Just click on report and you’ll be able to post the reason, ie spam.

I saw that post and reported it

I reported that one too. They do tend to appear in the early hours.

 

[Vince_UK]

I also did report one and being in Shanghai I see them first lol. @Northerner and the other admin usually pick them up very quickly 🙂

 

[trophywench]

Drat, missed it! LOL

I'm glad that happened Lanny - exactly what I said happened!