My point of view, from some one who has lost two close friends to suicide, and has also seriously contemplated it aswell (did get crisis team help at the time) I can see how people who have not had the misfortune to suffer deep depression, for whatever reason), can see it as selfish, but I can also see the side where it is actually self less. Let me explain, may ramble a bit as my thought come together.
To an outsider looking in suicide seems like a cowards way out that gives little or no thought to the consequences to your loved ones, the impact this will have on their future lives and their mental well being, almost like you are only thinking of yourself and no-one else. This is not usually the case, many suicides are accompanied by a letter explaining what set the action off, they generally end in one phrase "I'm Sorry" showing that there is at least some thought of the repercussions, though the cause of the problems is (rightly or wrongly) more demanding of the sufferer's thoughts and any after event problems tend not to occur to them until it is too late, if at all. I have lost a friend who hid his depression so well that no-one, not even those closest to him knew what was going on, in that instance his family really suffered, and still are over 2 years latter, but he left a note that explained what he was thinking and why he had done what he did. The other friend I lost was being persecuted by his own family, accusing him of mollesting his own children, he had no support from the MH people and jumped into the local river, no note was left and for four months people thought he'd left the country, when his body was found the entire town was shocked, but those that knew him could understand his reasoning.
Myself, I have been depressed much of my Adult life, though the doctors' only diagnosed it two years ago, the day before I lost a VERY close friend to cancer, I had been really bad during the summer, ever since nearly losing my job in May of that year, harbouring very dark thoughts that, at the time, I honestly wanted to end by slitting my wrists. I came very close with the only thing stopping me from doing it, the fact that I knew how painful it would be and that I did not want to die in pain. I knew that my family would feel really bad, that they would blame themselves, but still what I wanted to do was take my own life. It got to the point during the October (when on Holiday for 2 weeks) that I'd gone to the pub one night and was walking the 2 miles back to my accomodation, I sat down on a wall and broke down, I didn't want to go back home, I wanted to stay where I was happy (Wales) and feel comfortable. Two weeks latter (back home) I called into my GPs and asked to see my GP urgently, She wasn't available but another one was, so I saw her explained what was going through my mind including the suicidal thoughts, and she phoned the local crisis team, who phoned me not long after I got home and saw me the next afternoon. I had two months of therapy before it got cancelled by the MH people, it helped a bit but has put me off seeking further help as I feel that I still wouldn't get the help I need.
Sorry for the length of my post, I was typing as I thought, so it is my rambling thought process that you see above. I'm currently in a slightly better state of mind, but still get some dark thoughts, not as dark as before but still enough to make me pause for a bit.
