• Please Remember: Members are only permitted to share their own experiences. Members are not qualified to give medical advice. Additionally, everyone manages their health differently. Please be respectful of other people's opinions about their own diabetes management.
  • We seem to be having technical difficulties with new user accounts. If you are trying to register please check your Spam or Junk folder for your confirmation email. If you still haven't received a confirmation email, please reach out to our support inbox: support.forum@diabetes.org.uk

Comments on Depression

Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
S

StephenM

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I am making the assumption that Gary Speed?s death was related to depression rather than anything more sinister. Depression has, fortunately, been more in the news in recent times with the death of Robert Enke (the German goalkeeper), and the battles of Stan Collimore and Marcus Trescothick with depression are well documented.

Diabetes makes you more prone to depression but whether is is the daily stress of the illness or related to some chemical inbalance is unknown. I tend to feel quite down at this time of year with the cold and shorter darker days. However I would urge anyone who feels seriously depressed to seek advice. Seeking help is not an admission of failure but a positive action. It is nothing to be ashamed of. This is particularly important if you are having suicidal thoughts. At the end of the day suicide is selfish and has an awful impact on those left behind.

The reason I am posting this is that some years ago someone I vaguely knew hung himself. His father then died of a heart attack a few years later by which time his mother had developed dementia. The doctors think her discovering her son?s body may have brought on the dementia!

I am not convinced about my thread title. If any mod can think of a better one please feel free to change it.
 
I'd add a sincere 'Hear Hear' to that, Stephen.

And the other thing is, if you ever feel suicidal then you MUST tell your GP. OK you may well have talked yourself out of it - which is brill, but if it happens twice even though there's a fortnight or a month in between and 'it was only for a moment' - TELL the doc.

By the time I got there I'd always perked up again so didn't mention it, cos I felt silly.

How daft was I ......
 
StephenM said:
I am making the assumption that Gary Speed?s death was related to depression rather than anything more sinister. Depression has, fortunately, been more in the news in recent times with the death of Robert Enke (the German goalkeeper), and the battles of Stan Collimore and Marcus Trescothick with depression are well documented.

Diabetes makes you more prone to depression but whether is is the daily stress of the illness or related to some chemical inbalance is unknown. I tend to feel quite down at this time of year with the cold and shorter darker days. However I would urge anyone who feels seriously depressed to seek advice. Seeking help is not an admission of failure but a positive action. It is nothing to be ashamed of. This is particularly important if you are having suicidal thoughts. At the end of the day suicide is selfish and has an awful impact on those left behind.

The reason I am posting this is that some years ago someone I vaguely knew hung himself. His father then died of a heart attack a few years later by which time his mother had developed dementia. The doctors think her discovering her son?s body may have brought on the dementia!

I am not convinced about my thread title. If any mod can think of a better one please feel free to change it.
Click to expand...

Good post Stephen
 
Thanks for posting Stephen!

Well pointed out too Jenny, I did exactly the same as you, looking back it was silly of me because I am now so much better and could have got this help sooner if I had metioned it.
 
people need to be able to talk about depression a lot more freely than we do. I suppose in a way we are quite lucky that the word depression comes up quite frequently when being treated for diabetes and we are spoken to a lot about it....

'normal' people are much less likely to have that, and may not even know that they are suffering depression.

This is another silent illness that needs to be spoken about.
 
Excellent thread Stephen. Can't see any need to change the title. It says it all.

I've been lucky not to have been there, despite a few scrapes through life, but none of us are immune in the future.

Keep talking. Keep listening. And take nothing for granted.

Rob
 
Given that so many famous people have spoken about has made depression more high profile. Hopefully it will become better understood and more people will get help.

This forum is certainly a good place to be since we have som many other things going on between us. It is good we can talk freely knowint others will understand and listen.
 
Stephen a really heart felt thread thank you for putting it up.
I've been in the position where my thoughts have become to much for me in the past but luckily my son is my saviour and always always will be.!.....
Sorry how self absorbing gr x
 
Not to dissuade people from seeking help, I'd love to be able to say that asking for help always works, but...

Just over a year ago, I attended the funeral of a young man I'd never met, but was asked to attend, with my partner, by his former girlfriend, sister of the young man. As she now lives in Africa, she wanted support from friends in the UK - we had met several times before, so it's not as odd as it sounds.

Her brother had been troubled by severe mental illness (not depression) for many years. Sadly his attempts to contact mental health services in the last few days of his life didn't result in any help, and he couldn't take any more pain and distress.

A very sad situation, but all went a pub near the crematorium for sandwiches and drinks, and to look at photos of his life in happier times. We (his parents & sister, my partner and I) were the last to leave.
 
Yes, unfortunately it takes far too long to get help on NHS even if you do ask for it. :(

Waiting list for CAMHS(ie for children) in this area is about 6 weeks. A lot can happen in six hours, let alone 6 weeks...

I have a friend who is paying for private counselling which they cannot afford but were advise by Doc that this was the best thing to do as adult waiting list for counselling is so long.

But never be afraid to ask for help, and it really does help to talk about things, I'm told.
 
A young friend of ours in her mid 20s committed suicide last year. She was a twin and her parents are closer to our age, but we all socialised together many many times over a 5 year period prior to the suicide, I never ever saw signs. Apparently her parents, twin sister and brother knew about the thoughts she had entertained since her mid teens and kept it tight within the family. She was a bright, talented, pretty young woman but a perfectionist who always thought she fell short of expectations. Her suicide has wrecked the family in many ways. Her twin was strong to start with whilst Mum fell apart, and then when she recovered a bit (she will never recover totally) Dad fell apart and finally her twin. Apart from the family for whom I have the utmost sympathy, it has drawn a shadow across many friend's lives too.

Suicide wrecks the survivors and is cruel to the Nth degree - I would urge anyone with depression to seek help. Everyone is worthwhile, everyone has something to offer the world. However little they think so at any time

FWIW often there are qualified counsellors looking to practice because they need the hours and have to volunteer to gain them. It's worth asking if there is any voluntary counselling service operating in the area. Ask at a local Volunteer bureau - where I work there is such a bureau and we facilitate putting volunteers and people in need of counselling together. I hasten to add that these counsellors are properly trained and qualified and closely supervised.
 
Last edited:
I am a researcher at the University of Southampton and I have been doing some research with people who have both diabetes and depression.I'm interested in people's own experiences, and how they make sense of and manage having both conditions.

If anyone would like to be involved details of the study are below.

Thanks,
Jenny
___________________________________________________________________________
Do you have diabetes and have you been diagnosed with depression?

Would you like to help us understand how people make sense of and manage having both conditions?

Would you like to be entered into a draw for a ?100 gift voucher?
If yes, we would love to hear from you.

Understanding your experiences of diabetes and depression may help us provide better care for people like you.

Research team:
Jenny Mc Sharry, Professor Rona Moss-Morris, Dr Felicity Bishop, Professor Tony Kendrick.

We are researchers at the University of Southampton. We want to understand what it is like to have diabetes and depression, so we have designed a questionnaire which asks how people make sense of and manage both conditions.

All you need to do to help is complete some questionnaires which will take approximately 30 minutes.

Please go to https://www.isurvey.soton.ac.uk/2776 for further information about the study and to complete the questionnaires online.

If you would like a paper copy of the questionnaires or if you would like more information please contact us with a private message.

Thank you!
 
It has taken me some time to reply to this thread mainly because I have tried to take my own life twice and it is not an easy subject for me address. It sounds so easy to say seek help because very rarely in my experience has the help been there when I actually needed it! It takes weeks and sometimes months to be assessed let alone be seen by a therapist, CPN, or Psychiarist. I know, I have been there!

I makes me so sad when people say things like 'its selfish' because they obviously have never been at such a low ebb, and I sincerely hope that they never do, in their lives when things are so awful, bleak and unbearable death is seen as a way of getting 'peace of mind'. I know that was how I felt I just wanted my mind to 'rest' and to be 'quiet'. The mind can be so cruel and for those who suffer with bi-polar or any other serious mental health issues their lives are or can be extremely difficult. Most 'normal' (define 'normal') people I'm sure can't begin to imagine what life must be like to be battling demons day in and day out, to never have 'quiet', be unable to be still, to be always thinking. It is extrememly tiring to say the least.

I also wonder the views of others on the subject of 'assisted' suicide is that selfish too or is that more acceptable because there is a bodily health issue that cannot be cured?

Maybe we ought to walk in others shoes for a while before we condemn!!!

Shirl
 
Well said shirl, and well done for posting as this is obviously is a hard subject for you to talk about.

I can relate to the demons that you have to battle, I have been there too, and for me it was like someone else in me, telling me things that now I look back, I really don't understand. Thankfully, I was never suicidal, I had thoughts about it but they were just that, thoughts.

I am much better now and the people who have helped have been the ones who probably are not aware of how much they have changed my life. People like psychologists take such a long time to see and they just don't have the personal understanding that others who have helped me have had.

What do you find helps you?
 
I too agree with your comments Shirl - especially the last line.

I also understand entirely how someone else could perceive it as a 'selfish' act. (Been there folks; I thought that too)

Mental illness however changes ones perception of everything, and of course, that's what people who haven't suffered can't get their heads round.

I sincerely trust they never have to.
 
Thank you so much Natalie, I wasn't really sure whether to reply or not as I very rarely let people into my private thoughts. It is difficult to put into words how depression can take over totally and utterly, no matter who you are or what you are or indeed what you have!

Anyway to happier thoughts, you asked me what I do to help myself, I try to practice meditation especially to calm my thoughts, and I have decided to do a lot more walking and I find that really helpful.

If you ever need to chat feel free to PM me,

Shirl x
 
Hi Shirl,

You are one brave lady for posting your thoughts.

I have never suffered but have nursed sufferers throughout my working life. Your comments are things I have heard. Of course we do not know the depths of despair that some people are feeling, how could we? We have no insight into their daily lives, their family dynamics or the stresses they are coping with. We have not seen how they may have been treated as children, the bullying they may have endured. The list is endless.

I note you ask about a definition of normal. Nobody can define normal but I would say that it is a way of behaving that is socially acceptable to your family and peers. This may not be acceptable to another group of people but their perceived normality may not be acceptable to you.

Talking therapies are the best way forward IMHO but at crisis point there has to be immediate intervention and no waiting list is going to be the answer.
Mental health is the cinderella of the Health Service and with all the cuts and reorganisation it looks as though things will not improve anytime soon.

I would urge anyone who feels unable to cope to call out their G.P. no matter what time of day or night. If you feel too low to do this and don't want him to judge you then ring the Samaritans and talk to them as they can call him on your behalf if they think it is necessary. Please don't suffer in silence.

Take care and thanks for sharing. (((hugs)))
 
trophywench said:
I also understand entirely how someone else could perceive it as a 'selfish' act. (Been there folks; I thought that too)

Mental illness however changes ones perception of everything, and of course, that's what people who haven't suffered can't get their heads round.

I sincerely trust they never have to.
Click to expand...

Thank you Trophy, Mental Illness does change ones perception indeed in a very cruel way! I hope that by saying what I have I can at least help a few more people understand a little better.

Shirl
 
well done for speaking up Shirley.

I'm not normally one for expressing opinions that differ to others, as I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as that's exactly what it is - their opinion.

I personally think no-one ever knows what an individual has been through - each one of us is different, and whilst some might have similar experiences, it doesn't mean anyone really understands each individual's feelings.

I believe suicide attempts are awful. Awful that things got that bad for the person that the only way out they could see was to take their own life. We may say it's selfish, but they are in so much despair that even thinking of loved ones doesn't make them see a reason for living, and that in itself is a tragedy that I believe should warrant people not judging them.

Just saying someone who committs suicide is selfish, is (IMO) similar to saying 'you must be fat' to someone who's diabetic. It's never that simple, and not necessarily true and there are so many other things contributing.

I'm glad we can all express our opinions on here - the world would be boring if everyone thought the same. These are just my opinions, and are not disagreeing with what people have posted before....like I said they are your opinions which I respect, and these are mine.
 
Last edited:
Thanks for all the tough & brave honesty in this thread - mental illness needs toughness and honesty, and sometimes negotiating care / support is as tough or tougher than the illness itself.

Copepod said:
Not to dissuade people from seeking help, I'd love to be able to say that asking for help always works, but...

Just over a year ago, I attended the funeral of a young man I'd never met, but was asked to attend, with my partner, by his former girlfriend, sister of the young man. As she now lives in Africa, she wanted support from friends in the UK - we had met several times before, so it's not as odd as it sounds.

Her brother had been troubled by severe mental illness (not depression) for many years. Sadly his attempts to contact mental health services in the last few days of his life didn't result in any help, and he couldn't take any more pain and distress.

A very sad situation, but all went a pub near the crematorium for sandwiches and drinks, and to look at photos of his life in happier times. We (his parents & sister, my partner and I) were the last to leave.
Click to expand...

Lack of help when he needed it was exaclty what happened to my friend's brother - family certainly didn't think he'd been selfish, just failed by local mental health services. Due to work etc, he died in East Anglia, a long way from his sister in Africa or parents in Wales.
 
Status
This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
Back
Top