Coming out to family...

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ColinUK

ColinUK

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
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He/Him
Coming out never ends. I did it years ago as a fully fledged gentlemen of the homosexualist persuasion but now I’m off to the parents for dinner this evening and feel I have to come out as T2.

I’m taking my BG monitor with me as, although it’s not a typical meal, it is a regular meal and I’d like to see the impact on BG.

My nephew knows as I tweeted about my shock diagnosis but the folks don’t know. I expect to be the recipient of blame, moderate reproach, made clear that it’s yet another thing they’ll worry about in relation to me from now on... and undeniably there will be love there too. And misunderstanding. The two often go hand in hand where family is concerned I find.

I have a plan. Tell them about the method of diagnosis. Tell them I’m losing weight. Show them the BG monitor. And the stats as they come up after testing. Reassure them that I’m doing something about this.

And I’ll come here if they have specific questions I can’t answer.
 
I don't think non diabetics fully understand the situation, ie bread and cakes made with white flour absolute worst for blood glucose, the diabetic plate half full with veg, and reduced potato. I get sugar free sweets every year from my brother even though I have told him they can be worse than the real sugar variety. I would rather a packet of maltesers as a treat or jar of peaches in syrup to indulge in now and then, one half at a time. Still they mean well. Good luck with your coming out T2 :D
 
My mum usually internalises everything to actually be me blaming her for something. At least initially.
 
My diabetic 'coming out' wasn't something I had any control over! My family instantly knew about it because I'd been taken to hospital from London St Pancras when I was due to meet up with my Dad and elder sister. 🙂

But, anyway, I don't think it was something I'd have been coy about anyway. I never had any of the blame culture that so many people experience (and that remains the case to this day, I am pleased to say).

Hopefully, you can educate your family a bit @ColinUK and your second coming out is a rip-roaring success! 🙂
 
You could play up the positive side about how you 've really got it cracked about this healthy lifestyle you've started leading, and the great eating plan and exercise routine - and not only that but you've got this great measuring device that tells you how it's going!

A bit naughty, but if there is too much negative, you could drop in that there can be a genetic element to diabetes, and offer them figure tests!

But main thing is have a good time with your family and enjoy!
 
I've never had any problems. The only responses I got were "Oh, right - I know so-and-so is too, and they just carry on". When I'm offered something with carbs I just say "Sorry I can't - I'm diabetic" and the biscuits etc get whipped away from me - more for everyone else. And in restaurants if a dish comes with chips or potatoes / garlic bread etc I just ask for a side salad instead. There's never been a problem. And one can live a perfectly normal healthy lifestyle, be slim and fit, and still develop diabetes, so there should not be any blame or shame.
 
Hope it’s a positive and supportive conversation for you @ColinUK

Remember that they love you and anything judgemental or stigmatising that comes your way is absolutely not their fault. The media is relentless with it, and unless you know ‘from the inside’ at least some of those myths and misconceptions are gonna stick.
 
They all watched as the monitor did its thing before dinner.. which was 5.9.... and they watched just now for the two hour post test... 6.6

I'm quite pleased with these 🙂
 
When I was diagnosed I was in the hospital, was hoping to get out and not let my mother know, but I was due at her place that weekend, so in the end I had to phone my brother and ask him to tie her down so she didn't make the trip to the hospital and flap about. Luckily she was busy with other things so she didn't have time to come and I'd managed to convince here I was due out the next day.

Man families are stressful aren't they 🙂
 
My sister remembered that my father & his father had both been T2's (I'd forgotten - masked by a bunch of other more serious conditions) so I could be seen as upholding a family tradition 🙂
 
I started the diabetes tradition off in my family, however , several decided to follow in my footsteps lol , it’s just such a shame that they ignore my good advise .:(
My dad was pre diabetic for a while and luckily had the all clear a few yrs ago 🙂:D🙂.
 
Hope it went okay - your levels were good.
The only thing my mum made me promise was not to broadcast it on FB! She would have had all the family phone calls, I don't even remember the conversation fully, she knew I had 'the call' because I phoned her after the secretary had disclosed the new information - I was rather upset by that as you can imagine, so she knew about my appointment and I know I called her after and told her my levels, but some of that day is patchy. She is concerned and full of love. She also knows she has brought me up to not ignore things like this and I will do the best I can to make it better/ as good as it can be.
I have only told a handful of friends. I am still internalising and processing it myself, I think.
 
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@Toucan. I'm sorry but when you mentioned 'genetic element to Diabetes' and 'offer finger prick test' made me chuckle! 🙂🙂 Classic!
WL
 
ColinUK said:
They all watched as the monitor did its thing before dinner.. which was 5.9.... and they watched just now for the two hour post test... 6.6

I'm quite pleased with these 🙂
Click to expand...

Congratulations Colin great mmol levels before and after food 🙂
 
Neens said:
She also knows she has brought me up to not ignore things like this and I will do the best I can to make it better/ as good as it can be.
I have only told a handful of friends. I am still internalising and processing it myself, I think.
Click to expand...

All you can do, is your best. But having support is definitely useful, so I'm glad your mother is positive about it. I know my mum is really trying to help, even when she suggests we have something with stupid carbs for dinner. She was really proud the other day when she made cloud bread and it actually turned out alright (I'd tried to make it myself, but mine was a disaster). So we have this little competition when I visit her to see if she can actually cook something low carb, which in truth she already did for herself, but didn't know she was doing that.
 
Well done @ColinUK, looks like you've got your family support team on board, and that will help you big time.
I know I couldn't have got through sometimes without my family, always there to share the joy of the 'ups' and help put the pieces back together with the 'downs', - and inject some down to earth reality, when I'm over-reacting about a minor blip.

Your testing numbers are looking good, so your ell on the road to success.
 
Neens said:
Hope it went okay - your levels were good.
The only thing my mum made me promise was not to broadcast it on FB! She would have had all the family phone calls, I don't even remember the conversation fully, she knew I had 'the call' because I phoned her after the secretary had disclosed the new information - I was rather upset by that as you can imagine, so she knew about my appointment and I know I called her after and told her my levels, but some of that day is patchy. She is concerned and full of love. She also knows she has brought me up to not ignore things like this and I will do the best I can to make it better/ as good as it can be.
I have only told a handful of friends. I am still internalising and processing it myself, I think.
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I’ve told my closest friends and I also tweeted about it - I’m quite open on twitter about mental health stuff already so didn’t feel awkward or apprehensive about being open in there about this too.
 
ColinUK said:
I’ve told my closest friends and I also tweeted about it - I’m quite open on twitter about mental health stuff already so didn’t feel awkward or apprehensive about being open in there about this too.
Click to expand...

Happy to connect on Twitter, and introduce you to some fine folks in #gbdoc if that would be helpful. There aren’t that many T2s who tweet that much, so your presence would be very welcome. I’m @everydayupsdwns (pesky character count!)
 
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