Burnout...

[Mini-Vicki]

hi all,

I haven’t been around here as much as I should, So hi again to all those that remember me, and hello to all new members 🙂
My first post in a while isn’t going to be particularly happy I’m afraid, so I apologise, but I know you will all understand, and honestly I need you guys right now.

I’m burnt out guys. I normally try to be super positive about diabetes, I don’t let it interfere with my life, I do everything as normal, whilst trying to maintain as good of an A1c as I can.
This winter has been super hard for me, I find the winter months very difficult anyway, and a few days ago I had my scariest hypo yet. It was dropping and dropping, and it took ages to come up, even with 2 bags of jelly babies and two bottles of lucozade. I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. I didn’t thankfully, it did come up, but even after all that, I didn’t have a kick back. It came up to about 7 and stayed there. I don’t really know why it happened, my day was no different to any others. I was very emotional afterwards, this is a first, since my re-diagnosis to T1 that diabetes has truly scared me. I’ve felt drained ever since, I’m exhausted guys. I’m tired of this. I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it. I don’t want to inject myself multiple time a day, I don’t want to have to think about every single thing I eat, or exercise I do.
I tried to explain this feeling to a muggle (non-diabetic!) who just didn’t understand, and said I should just be grateful for insulin. Which I am, obviously I am grateful to be alive where medicine keeps me alive.
I guess I’m just tired of it all.
Sorry to be a downer
Thanks for listening to my rant,
Normal positive service will be resumed shortly, I’m sure!
V xx

 

[Martin Canty]

Sorry to hear that you have been having a tough time..... Welcome back though.

 

[Teadance]

Hi mini-vicki
I don’t post very often either but have been grateful for the info I’ve found here and supportive comments. I can’t comment on type 1, but wanted to send you lots of love. You sound like you’ve had such a hard time. It’s so hard to keep up the impetus. I really hope your more stable levels help to improve your mood. I’m sure there’ll be lots of people who will have helpful comments. Take care of yourself.

 

[Robin]

Welcome back, sorry you're having such a rough time. I hate winter, the gloom gets to me. Spring is on the horizon, though, new season, new resolve, you'll get there!

 

[trophywench]

You haven't by any chance been using Lantus, have you? I am asking for a reason so please bear with me.

I've only had one such hypo in the full 45 years and by a complete chance of fate - it started after my diabetes clinic apt - I felt really weird after I'd seen the consultant and sat down and tested my blood and started drinking Lucozade - a new bottle I had. After that I drank another bottle of theirs plus best part of a whole packet of custard creams (which I loathe but the only biscuits they had in someone's desk drawer, and beggars can't be choosers!) and I still only went up to 8. Anyway - there was only one possible explanation at the time. That Insulin injected in the past had formed a puddle somewhere in my skin, and decided to 'let go' that afternoon. If insulin does that then our body can store it in full working order for up to 12 years. It can occur with absolutely ANY exogenous insulin, natural or synthetic BUT recently virtually everyone that's reported it, has been using Lantus - thought to be because of the way it works forming crystals within the skin and gradually releasing the insulin. It is so rare - and scary - they definitely don't forewarn people about it.

What I'm trying to say Vicki is, even if it was what I'm thinking of - it doesn't happen except once in a blue moon - so it isn't like we are condemned to suffering such horrific hypos many times in our life. As Robin says - the weather has been beautifully sunny, the crocuses are about to burst into bloom on council grass verges and roundabouts and we all have summer to look forward to. It is better to travel hopefully, than to arrive!

 

[grovesy]

Welcome back, sorry you are not having a good time.

 

[Radders]

You haven't by any chance been using Lantus, have you? I am asking for a reason so please bear with me.

I've only had one such hypo in the full 45 years and by a complete chance of fate - it started after my diabetes clinic apt - I felt really weird after I'd seen the consultant and sat down and tested my blood and started drinking Lucozade - a new bottle I had. After that I drank another bottle of theirs plus best part of a whole packet of custard creams (which I loathe but the only biscuits they had in someone's desk drawer, and beggars can't be choosers!) and I still only went up to 8. Anyway - there was only one possible explanation at the time. That Insulin injected in the past had formed a puddle somewhere in my skin, and decided to 'let go' that afternoon. If insulin does that then our body can store it in full working order for up to 12 years. It can occur with absolutely ANY exogenous insulin, natural or synthetic BUT recently virtually everyone that's reported it, has been using Lantus - thought to be because of the way it works forming crystals within the skin and gradually releasing the insulin. It is so rare - and scary - they definitely don't forewarn people about it.

What I'm trying to say Vicki is, even if it was what I'm thinking of - it doesn't happen except once in a blue moon - so it isn't like we are condemned to suffering such horrific hypos many times in our life. As Robin says - the weather has been beautifully sunny, the crocuses are about to burst into bloom on council grass verges and roundabouts and we all have summer to look forward to. It is better to travel hopefully, than to arrive!

Lantus used to do this to me as well. I was better off with Levermir and even better with the pump! I find the feeling of not being in control the worst about such events, but it sounds as though you managed it really well, Vicki. I hope you are feeling better about everything very soon.

 

[Beck S]

Welcome back, hope you're feeling better soon 🙂

 

[Pigeon]

Or if you take Levemir, could you have mixed up your previous injection adn taken the wrong insulin? I did this sereval time, injecting levemir at meal times. Normally I realised what I'd done but once I didn't, wondered why I was stupidly high 2 hours after eating and then crazily low all afternoon, until the penny dropped.

Whatever the cause, sorry to hear you had such a scary time. I find this time of year a challenge too, all my doses seem to change at once, and I've got a cold too. Yesterday I was high all day, now hypo all morning today for no obvious reason.... Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Flower]

Good to see you again Mini-Vicki, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time.

Serious hypos are very scary and very physically and emotionally draining and they do shake our confidence. Give yourself big credit for dealing with it and for dealing with all of it. Diabetes can be a real drain on our own resources and we don't tend to get 'well dones' or if we do they're hidden under all the things we think we aren't doing well enough.

Can you contact your DSN and see if they have any suggestions on why you had such a nasty hypo or potentially using a Libre - if you don't use one. We need to feel as safe as we can and if there is something available that can take away a bit of the pressure then it's very worth asking/fighting for.

I hope you start to feel less worn down by it all soon. I wish you well 🙂

 

[Lucy Honeychurch]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time . I think many of us can empathise with how you are feeling, especially when fairly new to it all. It's a big life changer. I hope you get the hypos sorted and feel a bit brighter when the weather gets better. Keep at it 🙂 x

 

[SB2015]

hi all,

I haven’t been around here as much as I should, So hi again to all those that remember me, and hello to all new members 🙂
My first post in a while isn’t going to be particularly happy I’m afraid, so I apologise, but I know you will all understand, and honestly I need you guys right now.

I’m burnt out guys. I normally try to be super positive about diabetes, I don’t let it interfere with my life, I do everything as normal, whilst trying to maintain as good of an A1c as I can.
This winter has been super hard for me, I find the winter months very difficult anyway, and a few days ago I had my scariest hypo yet. It was dropping and dropping, and it took ages to come up, even with 2 bags of jelly babies and two bottles of lucozade. I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. I didn’t thankfully, it did come up, but even after all that, I didn’t have a kick back. It came up to about 7 and stayed there. I don’t really know why it happened, my day was no different to any others. I was very emotional afterwards, this is a first, since my re-diagnosis to T1 that diabetes has truly scared me. I’ve felt drained ever since, I’m exhausted guys. I’m tired of this. I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it. I don’t want to inject myself multiple time a day, I don’t want to have to think about every single thing I eat, or exercise I do.
I tried to explain this feeling to a muggle (non-diabetic!) who just didn’t understand, and said I should just be grateful for insulin. Which I am, obviously I am grateful to be alive where medicine keeps me alive.
I guess I’m just tired of it all.
Sorry to be a downer
Thanks for listening to my rant,
Normal positive service will be resumed shortly, I’m sure!
V xx

Hi Mini Vicki

Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment. It can take some weird trigger to set the mind off into a bit of downward trend. However a rant is a good start and perfectly reasonable as we do understand. So rant away. no apology needed.

If you continue to feel burnt out don’t hesitate to ask for help. I was amazed at the help I got and how helpful their ideas were. Just ask in here or elsewhere.

 

[Davein]

hi all,

I haven’t been around here as much as I should, So hi again to all those that remember me, and hello to all new members 🙂
My first post in a while isn’t going to be particularly happy I’m afraid, so I apologise, but I know you will all understand, and honestly I need you guys right now.

I’m burnt out guys. I normally try to be super positive about diabetes, I don’t let it interfere with my life, I do everything as normal, whilst trying to maintain as good of an A1c as I can.
This winter has been super hard for me, I find the winter months very difficult anyway, and a few days ago I had my scariest hypo yet. It was dropping and dropping, and it took ages to come up, even with 2 bags of jelly babies and two bottles of lucozade. I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. I didn’t thankfully, it did come up, but even after all that, I didn’t have a kick back. It came up to about 7 and stayed there. I don’t really know why it happened, my day was no different to any others. I was very emotional afterwards, this is a first, since my re-diagnosis to T1 that diabetes has truly scared me. I’ve felt drained ever since, I’m exhausted guys. I’m tired of this. I didn’t ask for it, I don’t want it. I don’t want to inject myself multiple time a day, I don’t want to have to think about every single thing I eat, or exercise I do.
I tried to explain this feeling to a muggle (non-diabetic!) who just didn’t understand, and said I should just be grateful for insulin. Which I am, obviously I am grateful to be alive where medicine keeps me alive.
I guess I’m just tired of it all.
Sorry to be a downer
Thanks for listening to my rant,
Normal positive service will be resumed shortly, I’m sure!
V xx

It must have been very terrifying for you to lose control suddenly like that' It is also very difficult when you are on your own and wonder at what point you have to summons help. I have been diagnosed with AIP and when I sense an oncoming attack I know I have an hour to get to hospital or I will be in very serious trouble. I have been prescribed a controlled drug to lessen the pain so I am 'fortunate' in knowing what will happen. You were in a unknown territory when your BG failed to respond initially. Absolutely terrifying for you..
Many of us on this forum have reached the low point you reached that day at some point but the human spirit lifts us eventually and makes us more determined to soldier on. We all know that we simply have little choice but to carry on. None of us deserves such wicked illnesses but you will have many good days again.

 

[Ralph-YK]

, so I apologise

Sorry to be

None of that sorry stuff. It's what we're for.
Hugs

 

[Mini-Vicki]

Thank you, everyone for your kindness and lovely replies 🙂
I’m feeling a bit better now, although since writing my post, I had 3 more horrendous hypos. Friday morning, I had one as soon as I got to work and just burst into tears in the kitchen 🙄
Luckily no more this weekend, I’ve been sleeping a lot to try and combat this he exhaustion from this last week, and I’ve been trying to keep my BGs around 8ish to avoid any more hypos for a while.
I’ve dropped my Lantas a couple of units to see if that’s the problem, and I’ve reduced my bolus of hunalog from 1:10 to 1:15 to maybe help?

Trophywench, I am on Lantas, and I’ve heard about this horrible ‘insulin puddling’ before, I don’t know if it is that, but I have an appointment with my DSN in a few weeks, so I might ask about levemir.
I otherwise get on with lantus quite well, so I’m a bit reluctant to change... how does everyone else get on with levemir?

Thank you all again for being so lovely, you all have no idea how much you’ve helped 🙂
I’m off for a walk around the park now, hopefully spot some spring flowers 🙂

Much love xx

 

[Robin]

I otherwise get on with lantus quite well, so I’m a bit reluctant to change... how does everyone else get on with levemir?

I changed from Lantus to Levemir last September, and so far it's going well. I kept putting it off, because I got on fairly well with Lantus, but it did seem to have a nasty peak at around 5 hours, (I think in smaller doses it tends to do that, I was on around 7-8 units a day) I ended up taking it at lunchtime to avoid the peak during the night, ( if I took it in the evening) and the fact that it was tailing off in the morning ( if I took it at breakfast).
I'm now on a split dose of Levemir, 4-5 units in the morning, and 2-3 units at night, this is what I worked out for myself to be the best fit ( Surgery Nurse isn't highly trained enough to know about little tweaks and tricks). I now wish I'd done it sooner!
The major advantage I find is its instant response. If I'm a bit low before bed, I can lower the dose ( as well as eating a snack) or if I've exercised, I will lower the bedtime dose, because I know I tend to drop during the night after exertion during the day.
When I had a flu-type Lurgy before Christmas, I found it much easier to react to my ever rising glucose levels with increased Levemir, knowing that as soon as they started subsiding, it would be a quick and easy job to lower one or both of my daily doses.
Which is not to say that Levemir is perfect, it still has a period where it delivers more insulin, then it tails off, but the split dose helps with this. I still get a 'washing line' overnight trace, where I drop to around 3am, then have a dawn rise, but unless I was approved for a pump, (in your dreams!) I don't think anything will iron this out.

 

[stephknits]

Hi Mini-Vicki, lovely to hear from you again and so glad once again that we have this forum, especially at times when we need it most. I used to be on Levemir before getting a pump and had a good friend who switched from Lantus to Levemir. On the whole, I would think the Levemir can be more manageable - like Robin says, if you change the dose, it reflects that change with that injection, whereas you have the wait with Lantus. I also found being able to split my dose (Levemir is supposed to last for 18 hours, rather than 24) very handy as I wanted less insulin at night.
Hope you are feeling better today and that you haven't had any more of those terrifying hypos. I consider myself to be very lucky not to have had such a stubborn one so far.
I do think that this sort of thing is one of the worst aspects of having diabetes - when something happens like this, with no warning or obvious reason and you feel like you are back starting again and having to think about it even more than usual and people think - well you have had it a while now, so you must have it 'under control'. It is extremely demoralising. Sending you a big hug.

 

[Mini-Vicki]

Thanks Robin and Steph 🙂
I think I will definitely have a chat with my DSN about Levemir. I like the idea of being able to change the doses much quicker. I’ve reduced my lantus to combat the hypos, but it took 3 days for the change to take affect, so for those 3 days I was still having unpredictable BGs, which was very frustrating.

Your point about what people think was very relevant, my work are super understanding, but after my millionth hypo last week, one of my bosses asked me why I wasn’t controlling it, because they know a fair few people with diabetes who manage to keep it controlled...

Anyway, it seems to be behaving a bit more the last couple of days, I still feel utterly exhausted from the whole last week.

I really appreciate yours, and everyone support on here. Thank you x

 

[weecee]

Sorry to hear of your hypo horrors Mini-vicki. You can only follow your practical steps and go from there. Hopefully the Dr can help you stabilise so you won't have too many issues like that again. Whatever it takes to build your confidence back up. One day at a time. We are all cheering for you.