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At breaking point

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@Amigo
Beautful put and with great understanding and empathy.
 
@AJLang - Sadly anger is a stage of grief and even more sadly it's (even subconsciously) easier to be angry with and towards those we're closest to.

https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

I know it's incredibly hard, but perhaps, if you can,worth just thinking he is lashing out in your direction because he feels safe and secure with you.

He probably has no idea how hurtful things have been because when things hurt very badly our perspectives can be shifted a bit off-kilter. Difficult times.
 
Thank you everyone, especially Amigo and AndBreathe - what you've said makes total sense. For my own sanity I'm going to need to give Dad space and leave Dad to contact me, if he chooses to do so.
 
AJLang said:
Thank you Grannylorraine. You could well be right but all I've done to try to help him. I lost my Mum in the summer and now my Dad is lashing out at me and I don't know what to do, I haven't got the strength for it anymore.
Click to expand...
You don't have to be the one to try to deal with that - far less be expected to put up with it - can you write to your father's GP or practice manager and request help from them? There is help available, but if they don't know that it is needed it can't be offered. You are grieving too so perhaps you might contact your own GP to see if they can help you cope with what is now a double blow as you have, in effect lost both parents even though one is still alive.
 
Thank you Drummer. What you say makes complete sense but my Dad absolutely refuses to have anything to do with any medical professionals, bereavement people, helplines etc etc I've got an appointment with my GP on the 22nd - needing help with dealing with mum dying, dad's behaviour, the acceleration of my eye problems, being diagnosed five weeks ago with arthritis in my spine and being given my first hearing aid on Wednesday - am I really only in my 40's. I'm just really grateful for all of the support that I have and feel stronger than when I originally posted.
 
You do have a lot to deal with - but at least you are getting some assistance, and there is some hope.
You are young enough to be still considered important by the NHS (I am approaching 70 and have not seen my doctor since diagnosis) and there is more research being done - so you might very well benefit from that too.
 
Thank you Drummer. I am very lucky in many ways and will bounce back soon 🙂
 
AJLang said:
For my own sanity I'm going to need to give Dad space and leave Dad to contact me, if he chooses to do so.
Click to expand...
Reasonable thing to do. You need to look after yourself, and you've got your own grief.
 
((((((HUGS)))))) to keep you going until you bounce back, AJ. 🙂
 
Thank you Ralph and Bloden. Those hugs are definitely needed x
 
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