Anxious Newbie here

[Cat2]

Hi everyone,

I was told by my doctor in a phone call yesterday that I have diabetes. It was quite a shock as I only had the test as a routine thing because I had gestational diabetes nearly 7 years ago. It took weeks to get the results due to Xmas and surgery staffing but I'd been reassured by the receptionist this was because it was just routine so not a priority, so I'd stupidly assumed this meant the results were fine. The GP will see me in person on Tuesday but said my fasting blood sugar was 9 and I think he said 60 something for the long term one, so he thinks definitely diabetes.

He didn't say which type but I'm assuming 2 as I'm overweight and in my 40s, although my dad has type 1 and wasn't disguised until his 30s so I guess I should ask the question.

I've been an emotional wreck since. I'm so cross with myself because I knew I was at higher risk yet my eating and drinking have been terrible. I'm so scared about what will happen and so daunted by managing it.

I've had no advice yet - was too shocked to talk properly to gp on phone about it! So no idea really what I should and shouldn't be eating- I mean I know low sugar / carbs but how strict do i need to be, and how to people cope eating like that for the rest of their lives!? I know that sounds silly but I enjoy chocolate, wine, cake, chips, crisps etc so much and eating tends to be a big part of my life. I've got 2 kids who are fairly fussy (and who I don't want to give food issues by banning certain things) and a lactose intolerant husband- how are we going to cook meals that suit all of us? Everything seems to have sugar in! How will we have time for all the cooking from scratch and different meals for different people when we have jobs and kids? How will i ever eat out or grab something quickly on the go? I feel like the rest of my life is going to be all about meal planning and carb counting, or alternatively serious health issues because I've failed to do it. I know I managed when i had gestational diabetes but that was only for a few months and my blood sugar wasn't as high I don't think, so I only had to make smaller changes.

I haven't told anyone apart from my husband yet as I want to see the gp and have more info before I tell my kids and parents, and also want to get to the point I can talk about I without crying so I don't worry them too much. I'm really struggling to keep it in though- i keep starting crying again and having to hide from the kids so I don't know how to get through this weekend. I know my parents could tell something was up yesterday on the phone as I couldn't really think of anything to say!

I think I'm going to be embarrassed to tell friends, colleagues, in laws etc. Although I know they'll be nice, I know this is self inflicted and I feel like the skinnier ones will be secretly thinking that too. There's a couple of possibilities of going away with people in the summer that I really need to commit to in the next week or two if I'm going and i feel like I can't because I don't know how I'll feel then and at the moment just want to hide away.

Anyone have any advice on what to expect in the short term, things I should ask on Tuesday, how to cope?

Sorry that's a really long post but I think it's helping me to write down my worries and feelings! I know people have much worse diagnosis than this and i feel bad for coping so badly but I'm naturally an anxious person (and I usually deal with stress by stuffing chocolate into me which isn't really an option!)

 

[Inka]

Welcome @Cat2 🙂 It’s completely normal to feel shocked and upset at a diabetes diagnosis. It’s also normal to worry about how it’s going to affect your meal-planning and social life. But remember, there are plenty of people with diabetes leading normal lives. You can too.

As you’ve mentioned your dad having Type 1, the very first thing I’d do is ask for the tests that can diagnose Type 1. Type 1 can come on more slowly in adults so don’t let your doctor palm you off and say it can’t be that. You should request the Type 1 antibodies test and a C Peptide test. Those are both blood tests. They’ll help determine your diabetes type.

People with Type 1 can be overweight, and more people are diagnosed with Type 1 as adults than as children. It’s not so much that I think you have Type 1, it’s that it should be ruled out. Also, the tests I’ve mentioned above take some weeks to come back so best to have them done early. Having Gestational Diabetes doesn’t necessarily rule out Type 1. I know a number of ladies whose Type 1 has been identified years after apparent GD.

You say you’re overweight and that does make Type 2 more likely. Type 2, of course, is much more common than Type 1. But, looking positively, some Type 2s can reduce their HbA1C back down to a normal level through dietary and lifestyle changes. So there is hope.

Regarding the family meals, if you’re Type 2 you should be able to tweak them to make them suitable rather than cook a whole separate meal. If you were to be Type 1, the recommended diet for Type 1s is the healthy diet recommended for everyone, just with the addition of insulin.

 

[Cat2]

Thank you for your quick reply. I know my dad eats pretty normally, but as you say he just adjusts his insulin accordingly. Obviously if I have type 2 that would be different. I will ask about the tests for type 1. Thank you!

 

[gll]

I'm going to tell you what I wish someone told me...
Take a deep breath and know that you can handle this whatever way it goes with the t1 or t2. Bumpy ride or plain sailing, you have a whole community here who can help you out.

As inka said, getting tested for type is priority here and I would assume you telling them that your dad is t1 it would prompt an immediate response by them to do that.

If it is type 2, what is the point in playing the self blame game? Its not going to do any good. What is important is being willing to face it head on and work on improving things 🙂
If it is type 1...just blame your dad 😉

With having GD you know the drill, put those changes into practice now if you feel like you need to take action today but in the grand scheme of it all, just wrapping your head around things might be more productive for a few days.
I would however hide the kid's leftover selection boxes and not spend the weekend binging on carbs 😉

Big hugs to ya x

 

[Mrs Mimoo]

Thank you for your quick reply. I know my dad eats pretty normally, but as you say he just adjusts his insulin accordingly. Obviously if I have type 2 that would be different. I will ask about the tests for type 1. Thank you!

Ive only recently been diagnosed type 2. My long term blood sugar or HBA1C was 55. My fasting BS at the start was 9mmol like you. I weighed 101kg (argh). So your stats are v similar. Obvs you need to confirm type 2 or 1, but if type 2, It may be worth losing some weight using low carb and some calorie counting. I did this lost 8kg and I have got my HBa1c down to 49 in 6 weeks of doing a diet. If I can do it hopefully you can. This forum is very supportive and knowleageable so stick with them. x Do go back to your GP/Nurse for advice but the 'eatwell plate' is not great - worth looking at this forum for diet advice if you get that.

On meals I cook hi protein meals e.g. salmon/Chicken or a 90g small steak + green veg and potato/chips for both of us but I have no chips just veg. Job done. 250 calorie meal instead of 4-500. Breakfasts I have exante shakes but alternative is a plain greek yog with 3 raspberries, or 2 poached eggs and some tomatoes. Lots of advice on the food forum.

 

[Cat2]

I'm going to tell you what I wish someone told me...
Take a deep breath and know that you can handle this whatever way it goes with the t1 or t2. Bumpy ride or plain sailing, you have a whole community here who can help you out.

As inka said, getting tested for type is priority here and I would assume you telling them that your dad is t1 it would prompt an immediate response by them to do that.

If it is type 2, what is the point in playing the self blame game? Its not going to do any good. What is important is being willing to face it head on and work on improving things 🙂
If it is type 1...just blame your dad 😉

With having GD you know the drill, put those changes into practice now if you feel like you need to take action today but in the grand scheme of it all, just wrapping your head around things might be more productive for a few days.
I would however hide the kid's leftover selection boxes and not spend the weekend binging on carbs 😉

Big hugs to ya x

Thank you! Luckily my kids will KNOW if I stole their chocolate .

 

[Cat2]

Thank you! Luckily my kids will KNOW if I stole their chocolate .

Sorry posted too soon. I am kind of regretting that I saved some of my chocolate Christmas presents though as now I don't feel like i should ever eat them (or alternatively feel like I should devour some whole chocolate oranges now before I see the GP and it's official! (Don't worry, I won't).
Thanks for your support. I do try and tell myself these things but the big bit of me that has always been anxious with vrap self esteem isn't listening!

 

[Felinia]

Hello and welcome

I can see you are feeling totally overwhelmed at present, but please know that these feelings will die down as you start to manage. There is no shame in being diabetic - you will see on this Forum there are many skinny fit Type 2 diabetics. And there is no such thing as "never again", it is moderation, not abstinence, particularly as you get your blood sugar under control. The other replies to you contain lots of excellent advice.
You can still cook as normal for your family, just more veggies and less carbs. You can have the extra veggies, and no potato/rice/pasta. And when eating out swap chips to salads/veggies, and don't eat the bread. I quite happily tuck into omelette/burger and salad, Chicken chop suey, stir fry veggies with cashew nuts, or tandoori chicken and salad. I personally had no problems telling people who needed to know that I was diabetic. It made it easier to say no to the mince pies etc offered over Christmas, or when the cakes are passed around. I've found holidays no problem where buffet meals are offered. And carvery's are excellent too. Perhaps someone can offer suggestions about eating on the go.
This might sound strange but I've found since reducing my carbs and sugars, I've gradually lost my sweet tooth and find many things too sweet now. I hope you find a way that suits you and your family.

 

[Cat2]

Ive only recently been diagnosed type 2. My long term blood sugar or HBA1C was 55. My fasting BS at the start was 9mmol like you. I weighed 101kg (argh). So your stats are v similar. Obvs you need to confirm type 2 or 1, but if type 2, It may be worth losing some weight using low carb and some calorie counting. I did this lost 8kg and I have got my HBa1c down to 49 in 6 weeks of doing a diet. If I can do it hopefully you can. This forum is very supportive and knowleageable so stick with them. x Do go back to your GP/Nurse for advice but the 'eatwell plate' is not great - worth looking at this forum for diet advice if you get that.

On meals I cook hi protein meals e.g. salmon/Chicken or a 90g small steak + green veg and potato/chips for both of us but I have no chips just veg. Job done. 250 calorie meal instead of 4-500. Breakfasts I have exante shakes but alternative is a plain greek yog with 3 raspberries, or 2 poached eggs and some tomatoes. Lots of advice on the food forum.

Thanks for your support and well done - it's sounds like you've got a handle on things really quickly!

To be honest though those food examples are the sort of thing that's freaking me out... do you actually feel full after meal with no bread, toast, potatoes, chips, pasta etc? Even with GD I had some of that stuff, just smaller amounts, but as I say i think I was quite a borderline case. The idea of counting out 3 raspberries only for the rest of my life is so depressing! Also I get migraines sometimes and usually find the best way to stave them off at first signs of a headache is to get some carbs or sugar into me so not sure how I'll handle that. And my kids favourite meals I cook mostly involve pasta and sauce eg lasagne and macaroni cheese. Sorry that's not to criticise your suggestions - I know that's what I need to do, just keep getting into panics because it seems too big at the moment.

 

[Windy]

@Cat2 Like the others have said, don't beat yourself up over this. There's a genetic element to type 2 (and I'm assuming type 1 too), and you can't do anything about your genes. If you could, I'd be a thin, six foot tall supermodel, instead of an overweight, middle aged woman who has eaten too many mini cheddars.
If you're T2, like Mrs Mimoo says, you can change your diet to address your blood glucose levels, and eat mostly the same meals as the family, but not the potato/bread/pasta part of it.
I also had a sweet tooth and love(d) chocolate, crisps and biscuits, but I know if I keep eating them now, they'll put my BG levels sky high, and keeping them low and steady is my goal (a normal BG level is between 4 and 7mmol/L). I know the lure of the chocolate orange is strong, but give them to your kids/the food bank so they aren't tempting you.
I also had no problem telling people I'm diabetic, so they can offer me support by not inadvertantly leading me astray with an offer of biscuits or cake or whatever if I'm offered a cup of tea.
I can recommend the Diabetes weight loss cookbook by Katie and Giancarlo Caldesi if you're a T2, as it has low carb bread and other nice recipes in it.
Talk to the doctor about it and make a list of questions you want to ask him/her. Ask if you can tackle your diabetes with diet first, or will you need metformin or something else. Ask for the T1 tests. Ask if losing weight will help. Ask if they offer any dietician support for you, or can get a referral to one. Ask if they're running the low calorie diabetes diet trials in your area if you're in England, or ask for a referral if you're in Scotland. You'll have other questions too, save them up for the doctor, or ask them here.
We're all rooting for you. Don't get overwhelmed with it, you've got this.
Best wishes, Sarah

 

[Cat2]

Thank you. I'll write a list of questions for the GP. I'm in Wales by the way.

I know it's stupid and other people have to deal with much, much worse but I really am so upset just thinking about having to give away all the things I've looked forward to eating, and never making my kids their favourite macaroni cheese again unless I want to cook a whole different thing myself (because how can things like that be adsjusted!). The idea of 'happily' saying no to the carb part of a meal is just so alien to me.
I guess this is bringing home how bad my relationship with food is and how much I depend on eating (and drinking, which is guess is even worse for blood sugar!) 'Nice things'. It's probably a good thing something is forcing me to sort that out, but it's going to take time to adjust.

 

[Leadinglights]

Although I didn't have children in the mix, my other half really bought in to the low carb way of eating and had felt much better for it losing some weight which he also wanted to do.
By having full fat dairy and protein, veg and salads I do not feel hungry and do not snack between meals but there again I was not really a 'snacker' before.
You are starting with an HbA1C of 60mmol/mol which although in the diabetic zone is not desperately high so reducing carbohydrates should be effective.
I have seen people say that they have suffered less migraines by adopting a low carb way of eating.
As far as telling people, if people suspect something is wrong then they may jump to conclusions that it is something far worse and will probably be relieved to know that it is something that can be managed and you can lead a normal if slightly different normal life.

 

[Leadinglights]

Thank you. I'll write a list of questions for the GP. I'm in Wales by the way.

I know it's stupid and other people have to deal with much, much worse but I really am so upset just thinking about having to give away all the things I've looked forward to eating, and never making my kids their favourite macaroni cheese again unless I want to cook a whole different thing myself (because how can things like that be adsjusted!). The idea of 'happily' saying no to the carb part of a meal is just so alien to me.
I guess this is bringing home how bad my relationship with food is and how much I depend on eating (and drinking, which is guess is even worse for blood sugar!) 'Nice things'. It's probably a good thing something is forcing me to sort that out, but it's going to take time to adjust.

It would be unusual for most families if everybody had the same meals all the time, so no reason for you not to make the kids their favourite meals, you and your husband could just have something different on those occasions. Keeping some prepared meals you can have in the freezer for those occasions will save some extra work.

 

[Docb]

Lots of good stuff from others. My tip is don't be afraid to be a bit sneaky when it comes to cutting carbs. What you are trying to do is to reduce your carb intake. For example, my approach to a low carb spag bol is to make a ragout however you like, just don't put any carby stuff in it. Be wary of ready made sauces because they can be quite high carb. Prepare the spaghetti.

Here is the sneaky bit.... For your portion, put a generous helping of the ragout in a bowl (not a plate) and pile a modest portion of spaghetti on the top. (I add peas to my spaghetti to make it look more generous) Next mix up the ragout with the rest of the spaghetti and serve to the others. They get normal, you get low carb, and nobody except you is the wiser.

 

[Cat2]

Lots of good stuff from others. My tip is don't be afraid to be a bit sneaky when it comes to cutting carbs. What you are trying to do is to reduce your carb intake. For example, my approach to a low carb spag bol is to make a ragout however you like, just don't put any carby stuff in it. Be wary of ready made sauces because they can be quite high carb. Prepare the spaghetti.

Here is the sneaky bit.... For your portion, put a generous helping of the ragout in a bowl (not a plate) and pile a modest portion of spaghetti on the top. (I add peas to my spaghetti to make it look more generous) Next mix up the ragout with the rest of the spaghetti and serve to the others. They get normal, you get low carb, and nobody except you is the wiser.

Thank you. That's good to hear as everyone else on here seems to saying they wouldn't eat any pasta at all. However I guess that depends on my sugars and how they react - I'm assuming a trial and error approach initially?

 

[Leadinglights]

Thank you. That's good to hear as everyone else on here seems to saying they wouldn't eat any pasta at all. However I guess that depends on my sugars and how they react - I'm assuming a trial and error approach initially?

Standard pasta is pretty high carb but I use edamame bean or black bean pasta which is only 15g carb /100g dry weight and I find 25g sufficient. Cooks quickly as well.

 

[Windy]

Thank you. I'll write a list of questions for the GP. I'm in Wales by the way.

I know it's stupid and other people have to deal with much, much worse but I really am so upset just thinking about having to give away all the things I've looked forward to eating, and never making my kids their favourite macaroni cheese again unless I want to cook a whole different thing myself (because how can things like that be adsjusted!). The idea of 'happily' saying no to the carb part of a meal is just so alien to me.
I guess this is bringing home how bad my relationship with food is and how much I depend on eating (and drinking, which is guess is even worse for blood sugar!) 'Nice things'. It's probably a good thing something is forcing me to sort that out, but it's going to take time to adjust.

The kids can still have macaroni cheese, can you do yourself cauliflower cheese, or brocolli cheese, or leeks in cheese sauce? If you're making cheese sauce for their pasta, you can use the same sauce for the cauliflower etc, and maybe have meat/fish/veggie sausages cooked at the same time?
I also have a bad relationship with food. We were made to finish our plates, even if we were full, so I learned to ignore that I was full. We were praised with food, ie if you did something good, you got a treat, so I associated good things with food. It was a way of showing love, without words for mum, but it's not that healthy, food wise.
I still treat myself, but my treat is a small bowl of Greek yogurt and blueberries/raspberries, and I look forward to them as they are delicious and refreshing. My taste buds have changed and I couldn't eat the butternut squash soup I'd made as it was too sweet for me.
@Docb's stealthy pasta reduction approach sounds like a good one. I've gone low carb, but my HbA1c was 80 at diagnosis, and I was worried, so I slammed the brakes on with my diet. With hindsight, a slower approach would probably have been better. I could have had smaller portions, instead of eliminating pasta etc.

 

[Leadinglights]

Have a look at the thread in What did you eat Yesterday in the food/recipes forum for ideas of what Type 2 people have, bear in mind there will be people who are dietary managed, some on oral meds or insulin so you will see that the amount of carbs per day may be quite different but they will have determined what suits them by testing with a home testing monitor.
You will see that people can still have filling tasty meals.

 

[Docb]

Thank you. That's good to hear as everyone else on here seems to saying they wouldn't eat any pasta at all. However I guess that depends on my sugars and how they react - I'm assuming a trial and error approach initially?

The way I looked at it was that I wanted to reduce carb intake to an acceptable total per day and so I focussed on quantities. In the early days, I found that things containing flour (bread, cakes, pasta, pastry) and rice were big contributors to high blood glucose readings. Of these things I changed the bread I ate to something of lower carb content, so I still had my breakfast toast and the odd croque monsieur. Cakes I just stopped eating because I was not interested in making low carb substitutes. My route for pasta I have explained and the same approach can be used for other staples like rice and potatoes. For example a dry veg curry as a side dish to a curry is far more interesting than rice. A pile of french fries has a lot less carb than a pile of chip shop chips because there is a lot more air and less potato! No need to try and find alternatives, just find ways of adjusting portions to keep the total daily carb levels in your range.

Yes lots of trial and error to start with but my meter was the key to getting the balance right. It helped me to identify the stuff that needed to go like coffee shop cappuccinos and my favourite muesli (too much dried fruit) and to work out what quantities of other things my system would cope with. I was also happy to use low level medication, organise a bit more exercise and lose a tiny bit of weight to get the balance right without making carb reduction a burden.

That was my route but you have got to find out what works for you. Reading around the forum will give you clues to other, usually big change, approaches. The big change approach would not work for me but some have found it to be very effective. Just shows how different we all are.

 

[rebrascora]

It is interesting that you say that you used sugar as a treatment for migraines. I was a sugar addict pre-diagnosis. I went pretty much cold turkey as soon as I realised what my symptoms were and soon after that I got the diagnosis. I then progressively reduced my carb intake to try to bring my levels down along with medication. I cut out all bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, couscous etc. My morning porridge was the final thing to go. That was almost 3 years ago. I haven't had a migraine since and I can now drink red wine which was my only known trigger. I was averaging about one very debilitating migraine a month (minimum half day in bed with eye mask, vomiting etc.) and I haven't had one since diagnosis. I had suffered them for at least 20 years although they had become more frequent in recent years. Not had a single one since I changed my diet. For me that alone was worth the effort of changing my way of eating but other benefits are that I am pretty much back to the size I was in my 20s and I am fitter and healthier than I have been for about 20 years and I feel younger. My diabetes diagnosis was the kick up the backside I needed to get a grip of things and even though it turned out that I am actually Type 1 and not Type 2, so I could eat a more normal diet, I have continued to follow a low carb higher fat way of eating because it helps me to maintain control over my diet and weight and BG levels and I enjoy my food more now than I did before because I actually taste the food I eat and appreciate it now and as @Windy says, my tastes have changed. What I like most is that I don't suffer food cravings like I used to and it is not difficult to maintain this way of eating for the rest of my life. I have tried eating more normally, but the cravings return immediately and my BG levels become horribly erratic and my anxiety increases and then I want to comfort eat all the more which becomes a vicious cycle, so I go back to what works for me.

The trick to living with diabetes is to find what works for you, your body and your lifestyle. Using a BG meter will help you discover that.

As regards alcohol, depending upon your tipple, it doesn't have to be off the table. Beer and cider are higher in carbs so will affect your BG but dry white and red and spirits with diet mixers are usually all fine as regards BG levels provided that you imbibe in moderation. Obviously they still contain empty calories which will thwart weight loss but the occasional one won't break the bank. As regards chocolate, many of us convert to dark 75%+ which is less moreish so one square is enough or I have half a square with a spoonful of peanut butter to make it more satisfying.

As regards your children, it may be worth considering that their diet may already be becoming too heavy in carbs and as there can be a genetic element in diabetes, perhaps reducing the amount of carbs you all eat would not be a bad thing. I am not suggesting for the kids to eat a low carb diet but just reduce the portion of carbs and increase the other more nutritious elements, for their future health too. It is so easy with the modern diet for carb intake to increase without you realising it. Portions get bigger, ready meals are laden with hidden sugar, kids get treats much more frequently than we ever did as children, so it is easy to understand why people are developing diabetes at younger ages. You could look at your diabetes diagnosis as something that could benefit the whole family if you make a few lifestyle changes. Maybe Instigate an after dinner walk that could be a bonding experience and time away from screens.