am I overreacting mum??

[bev]

I disagree. When he was a baby, he needed everything doing for him because he couldn't do it for himself. Now he feeds himself, talks, walks, takes himself to the toilet, asks for what he wants....

Again I think you misunderstand what I was suggesting. I am not saying that the school should not look after her. However if it turns out that there is a specific reason why the child didn't eat her lunch, then that could help prevent it happening again. Also I do believe that you can say to a 4 year old that it's important to eat all their lunch. Yes, the adults in charge should be making sure that happens, and doing something about it if for some reason she doesn't. That doesn't alter the fact that the more the child understands the better her control will be and the better her Mum will feel about it.

Hi MaryPlain,

In a perfect world all children would do what they are told.🙂 However, when you are 4 and your friend is running outside to play - that is the most important thing in the world to you - not whether your carbs have matched your insulin! And most likely by the time the child comes home - three hours later - they cant remember whether they ate their food or not - never mind whether they had been distracted or didnt feel hungry or didnt like the sandwich filling - childrens minds dont work like that. If the TA/Teacher *had* been monitoring what was going on then they could have acted on it - and/or told the parents what the problem was - but clearly there were not doing their job and not following the care plan. If there is a care plan in place it is for a very good reason and it should be followed. If the School decide they cant follow it then fair enough - but until or unless this is explained to the parent then they have a duty of care to follow it.

Whilst it is advantageous to understand what the issue was surrounding the not eating of the food - it doesnt take away the fact that no-one was monitoring this - and it could have turned out very differently - which is what the mum is worried about - not the reason why the food wasnt eaten - simply why the School werent following the care plan. Being pro-active rather than re-active is far better.

There is a huge difference between following the normal milestones in a babies life (walking talking) and being responsible for a life-threatening condition - the two dont compare.🙂Bev

 

[MaryPlain]

Hi MaryPlain,

In a perfect world all children would do what they are told.🙂 However, when you are 4 and your friend is running outside to play - that is the most important thing in the world to you - not whether your carbs have matched your insulin! And most likely by the time the child comes home - three hours later - they cant remember whether they ate their food or not - never mind whether they had been distracted or didnt feel hungry or didnt like the sandwich filling - childrens minds dont work like that. If the TA/Teacher *had* been monitoring what was going on then they could have acted on it - and/or told the parents what the problem was - but clearly there were not doing their job and not following the care plan. If there is a care plan in place it is for a very good reason and it should be followed. If the School decide they cant follow it then fair enough - but until or unless this is explained to the parent then they have a duty of care to follow it.

Whilst it is advantageous to understand what the issue was surrounding the not eating of the food - it doesnt take away the fact that no-one was monitoring this - and it could have turned out very differently - which is what the mum is worried about - not the reason why the food wasnt eaten - simply why the School werent following the care plan. Being pro-active rather than re-active is far better.

There is a huge difference between following the normal milestones in a babies life (walking talking) and being responsible for a life-threatening condition - the two dont compare.🙂Bev

At no time have I said that the school don't have a duty of care.

I don't really see why a child of 4 can't learn that if she doesn't eat all her lunch she'll feel funny. Seems to me like that's a fairly important milestone for someone with diabetes.

 

[Northerner]

I think lots of valid points have been made from all sides, but please let's not start drifting away from Ruth's original post.

 

[bev]

At no time have I said that the school don't have a duty of care.

I don't really see why a child of 4 can't learn that if she doesn't eat all her lunch she'll feel funny. Seems to me like that's a fairly important milestone for someone with diabetes.

Hi MaryPlain,

Many adults cant cope with Type 1 - not sure why a 4 year old should be expected to take on this role at such a young age. As the parent of a child with Type 1 I can tell you that they dont always follow the rules - because they are far too busy being children. And my son is one of the 'compliant' ones. Our clinic (best in the UK) have made it clear that until a child reaches the age of 12 or over they cannot take on this role and it is up to each individual parent to know what is right for their child. The mum was not complaining about *why* the child hadnt eaten - she was complaining that no-one was monitoring the situation and following the care plan. If the child had fallen into a coma the School would be accused of negligence - and the reason for not eating the food would be irrelevant. Perhaps we should agree to disagree.🙂Bev

 

[Tina63]

I am a childminder with 20 years experience. I can tell you that children eat different amounts different days. Some children are excellent eaters, some are very poor eaters. Some are very fast, some are very slow. From children I see in my care even those who I consider really good eaters with me and clear all their lunchboxes seem to suddenly start bringing stuff home when they start school. Over the years I have had a couple of children who brought so much home it was alarming and I in the end went in for a chat.

As someone has said earlier, time constraints are the main thing. Our primary school seem to allow 20 minutes to eat, if it isn't all finished in that time, tough. The children have to be supervised at all times, inside and out, so if the majority are finished then the whole lot are sent out to play. Some children (one 4 year old girl I have at present) love the social side of it all, so she, bless her, suddenly brings half her lunch home as she has been to busy chatting to eat! She would normally clear the whole lot and still does during school holidays at my house, but then I allow them as long as they need. Of course for her being non-D, that isn't a problem, she is simply ravenous when I collect her at 3. For your child that is dangerous.

I wonder if you could actually ask for a one-to-one meeting with the person who is your child's lunchtime supervisor. Maybe they don't realise the true seriousness of the situation? Do they have a true grasp of T1? Are they only looking after your child or a whole class of 30? I am sure if the rest of the class are getting up and going out to play your child isn't wanting to be left behind. Could your child maybe be allowed to start eating a few minutes earlier than anyone else? But I know, that too is singling them out, but it's finding a compromise.

The issue definitely needs to be raised with the school. Maybe too a chat with your child? Is your child's lunch varied day to day, or is it the same day in day out? Maybe changing food daily (keeping carbs the same if possible) will add a little excitement to lunchtime and encourage eating it all. Maybe involve your child in packing their lunch/making sandwiches etc? Pretty stickers on cling film etc? Just trying to think of ideas to help. Maybe even a star chart at home for an empty lunchbox each day with a treat at the end of the week if they manage to get 5 empty lunchboxes? Treats can be simple and cheap. Not sure if your child is a boy or girl but depending on which, a single fancy marble, single fancy hairclip out of a multi pack, that sort of thing. Just little incentives. Even a 10p piece at the age of 4 is real treasure!

Hope you manage to find a solution, it is really worrying for you.

Good luck.

Tina x

 

[Ruth Goode]

C is 4 years old. There's no way she can carb count or inject herself, let alone choose which food she like to eat at 10-15 mins before she get injected. She is happy with food I packed for her, all she need is someone to sit with her encourage her to eat it all (she know she have to eat it all because she had her insulin) she's just so easily distracted by other children and she obviously want to play!! It's not that much to ask for someone to sit with her and encourage her to eat it all.

 

[bev]

C is 4 years old. There's no way she can carb count or inject herself, let alone choose which food she like to eat at 10-15 mins before she get injected. She is happy with food I packed for her, all she need is someone to sit with her encourage her to eat it all (she know she have to eat it all because she had her insulin) she's just so easily distracted by other children and she obviously want to play!! It's not that much to ask for someone to sit with her and encourage her to eat it all.

Hi Ruth,

You are right - the onus for getting this right should not be on the shoulders of a 4 year old child. If you look in the Equality Act it makes reference to Schools 'making reasonable adjustments' to accommodate a child with SEN. Making sure all food is eaten is 'making a reasonable adjustment' and as the School have already agreed to do this then I dont see why they have failed to do it.

Yes - your daughter will be aware that she has to eat all her food - but she is 4! 4 year olds also know mums and dads dont like them misbehaving - but they still do it. 4 year olds cannot always follow the rules - because they are 4! If her friend is playing outside and wants her to join her - that is all she can think about - not whether her carbs matched her insulin for goodness sake. Research shows that the more you put on a childs shoulders in terms of coping with this condition before the age of 12 - the more they are likely to rebel as they need to be a child first. C has the rest of her life to take control - but at such a young age it is not appropriate to expect her to - she is 4.

Yes - give her the foundations of diabetes care - that is the right thing to do - but dont expect her to follow it yet - just lay the stones and it will come good in the end. The adults around her at School are the ones who should be doing their job and they havent so contact the School and tell them what the consequences could be.🙂Bev