A Mothers Anthem

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ZoZo said:
HI All,

As you can see, Michelle is T1 herself, so while not the parent of a child with diabetes, she is herself living with the condition and seems to have a pretty down to earth attitude which is quite refreshing actually, as I read a lot of the gloom and doom on this forum, but little in the way of positive outlook?
I feel that I want to defend what Michelle has said here. I am a parent and I do obviously relate to a lot of the things in the original post.
Its is heartbreaking seeing your child upset about the thing they have to live with every day.
Like every other parent, I get tired, upset, emotional, defensive, protective and lots of other feelings on a daily basis. My son is the first thing I'm thinking about in the morning and the last thing at night. Like all other parents I ''grieved'' for the 'healthy' child I had for 11 years.

HOWEVER... Like Michelle has said, there is far worse out there,. I thank God every day that we live in a country where the drug to keep my son well is readily available. I thank him for the fact that my son can run, play, study, and all the other things that kids do.
I, like all other parents I'm sure, am determined that this will NOT ruin his life, and I am determined that he will grow up thinking the same way. My son is not a victim and I will never allow him to feel that way, so I reflect that in the way I act and the things I say to him about diabetes. Diabtetes is a huge thing in our lives, but its not the only thing. I work full time, he goes to school, we both have very busy social lives, and he is is happy and healthy and importantly, his levels are brilliant!!
This is a forum for free speech, and Michelle was only offering her opinion on something posted. We dont shoot people down in flames because they dont agree with us.
PS...I do think chocolate is not the best way to treat hypo, but that obviously works for Michelle!! 😉
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Sorry but she was being bloody rude, condescending and patronising and whilst she is a type 1 diabetic, she obviously doesn't know the best way to deal with hypos (chocolate may be ok for her but you cannot put that and then tell people that do know the right way to ring her to get some advice). Whilst it is free speech, it was her first post, no-one posts something that derogatory as a first post, you generally gently ease yourself in, not by critisizing people who post here regularly especially those who do know the hell what they are talking about.

She needs to learn some manners. It takes a hell of a lot to get me riled but she did it in one fell swoop. I wonder who she is ? A troll perhaps, she has not posted anything else anywhere else............. she doesn't get a second chance from me !😡

This forum is not doom and gloom, maybe that is what you read into it. I have found friends here, have you not? I have found good friends here, some I can help and some who help me. These last two weeks have been very very very hard. There have been three deaths in two weeks. We have chosen not to share the others with you, but we could easily have done and made it even more doomy and gloomy for you. Wake up and smell the roses and come back to reality. Diabetes is a silent killer. Yes there are more awful things in the world but this is our world, my world, your world and for me and my friends and the people on this forum we have to deal with diabetes. It doesn't rule my daughters life, but it damn well makes things difficult sometimes.

I have to stop now and I apologise to all for the language but I am absolutely bloody furious now. I will go away, calm down but do not expect to agree to anything the troll has written in the above message ! 😡
 
Here is one that sums it up for me...just to put a different spin on it....
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in You."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect."
"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side.""And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel,his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Maybe God has an off day occasionally, too.
 
Maybe she is a ''troll'' - who knows? But she has said the things that sometimes I think.

I am realistic, I know the dangers of diabetes, I'm not stupid. I know about the children who died recently and its horrifying....but I cant allow that to keep me awake every night....In the same way that we all have to cross roads and get in cars, but people die on the roads every day.

Like I said, the forum is a wealth of knowledge and there are some fantastic people on here who know so much, and its good to know there is always someone who can answer questions and give help.

My point is that everyone deals with the rubbish that is thrown at them in different ways, and I think her way of dealing with is is ''Yes, its cr@p but we have to make the best of it'' - thats what I read with the lemons comment. I have met some great parents in real life too, who all have t1 kids and they are really positive.
Everyone has a right to their opinion, and maybe it came across a bit harsh - the written word often does.
 
Adrienne originally posted these on face book following the very sad news of yet another young type 1 diabetic death from what is known as 'death in bed syndrome' I asked her to post them on this forum just to make everyone stop and think for a while about there own situations. After a emotionally cahrged weekend it felt like a simple nice way for us all just to think about other people.... and everyone all over the world living with diabetes .....it made me feel humble in my life. I feel very sorry that this has caused a problem for you all x
am
 
Hi Am

You have caused no problems, it was a good idea. We all know the seriousness and this sort of thing should not be hidden, why should it be, its scary but sometimes it gives us a kick that we need about complacency.

I am still stumped as to why a couple are defending someone they don't know, who has posted one rude message and basically in a nutshell says maybe we take things too seriously and too far. Maybe I should sleep at night better, I would love too. I wonder if Zozo's friend's child has passed on. Mine has. She was lovely, she was 12. She was stable, I knew her well. I wonder if Zozo would sleep at night then. Of course everyone has a right to their opinion, I'm the first to say that normally but damn that's cold and hard ! These are kids.

Not one person on this forum asks for sympathy or anything like that. I do not come on here to be criticized especially in the circumstances that have surrounded this. How utterly cruel and again I say, cold. However that is my opinion to which I too am entitled.

I can't be doing with this so won't post again on this. I'll go and grieve with the people that I know care and won't make blase comments. :(
 
ZoZo said:
Maybe she is a ''troll'' - who knows? But she has said the things that sometimes I think.

I am realistic, I know the dangers of diabetes, I'm not stupid. I know about the children who died recently and its horrifying....but I cant allow that to keep me awake every night....In the same way that we all have to cross roads and get in cars, but people die on the roads every day.

Like I said, the forum is a wealth of knowledge and there are some fantastic people on here who know so much, and its good to know there is always someone who can answer questions and give help.

My point is that everyone deals with the rubbish that is thrown at them in different ways, and I think her way of dealing with is is ''Yes, its cr@p but we have to make the best of it'' - thats what I read with the lemons comment. I have met some great parents in real life too, who all have t1 kids and they are really positive.
Everyone has a right to their opinion, and maybe it came across a bit harsh - the written word often does.
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Hi Zozo,
We are all very different in the way we do things and no-one should be told how to do anything. But with something like diabetes there are just some rules that cannot change and if someone new comes on here to make inflammatory remarks about the way we all parent and offering to help us do it the right way - then surely this isnt right? Everyone is allowed an opinion and diabetes is a condition that evokes lots of very different methods of treating it so what suits one wont suit another.

I notice your son was only diagnosed last June - so I suspect its possible that he may still be in the 'honeymoon' phase and I hope it stays like this for a long time yet as it does mean you have much more stable levels. So, of course you view of diabetes is almost 'rosy' in comparison to others. Our children are nearly all out of this phase and believe me when i say this - things change 100%!😱Your son is the same age as mine and hormones will be kicking in very soon and then all hell will let loose! Growth hormones and puberty will make things so much harder to deal with. I know this as i have lots of friends with teenage children whose levels were previously lovely - then they go off the scale when puberty hits!

Adrienne is an expert in diabetes care as she has been at it for 10 years. You and I still have a lot to learn and it is because of this that I joined this forum. It is *not* all doom and gloom at all - it is full of the most inspirational people i have ever 'met' and i have made lots of friends on here so i am very protective of everyone on here.

A.M. - you didnt cause any trouble at all - all of this is as a result of a person being judgmental about our abilities as carers and that is insulting - especially from a newcomer who doesnt know us from Adam!😱:DBev x
 
Shelly1959 said:
I have just read the story, " I am the mum of a diabetic child", I don't wish to sound harsh, but really if you think this situation is so bad, please give me a call you are doing it all wrong.
Don't give sugar in the middle of the night, give a small glass of Lucozade, and a stick of kitkat, kids can eat while they sleep trust me.
And be gratefull for the arm full of medicine that keeps your child alive, in India they have to let their children die because the cost is way beyond them.
Life throws us lemons, make lemonade, you attitude to this is the problem, not the diabetes itself.
There is far worst out there.
Kind regards,
Michelle🙂
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I am sure that there are people out there worse off. However this IS a message board for people looking for support for diabetes whether it affects themselves or a family member. It's for sharing experiences and feelings. It's not for others to judge whether or not other people's feelings or experiences of managing diabetes are more "valid" than your own.


Chocolate is a very poor choice to treat a hypo. The fat slows down the absorption of the glucose.
 
no two the same

Hi All
Actually I have registered to answer ZoZo directly.
I am ever so pleased Diabetes is being nice to you. I have a sneaky feeling your son has a wonderful pancreas which is still kicking out some insulin at helpful times. However, I just have to gently remind everyone that no two children with Diabetes are the same. And I know because I have two sons with Type 1 and I would certainly not describe them as the same at all, even though they share all those genes.
My youngest has been diabetic since he was 18 months old and his pancreas has never been nice to him. I really couldn't keep up my teaching career and give him the time he needed. Good job I didn't as when number two was diagnosed it felt like a full time job anyway; dealing with the schools and fighting to actually get some of that developed country care we know we should have here.
I know working parents, home educators and stay at home mums or dads all living with children with diabetes. There are many ways in which we choose to bring up our wonderful children. And this is mine. It works for us as a family to embrace the diabetes and hold it tight to keep it at bay. I work very hard to give my kids briliiant levels and even with pumps and full time sensors I can see there is no such thing as brilliant in terms of their blood sugars. I have had one week when my youngest got 97% of his sensor readings at between 4-10mmol (that's out of a lot of weeks!)
What am I trying to say? Well, I suppose I would say don't ever count your chickens with this disease. Its a slippery little beast. After all these years of dealing with two every day I am still surprised and caught out by it; puberty is a thing of fiendish terror when it comes to bg levels and flu... don't get me started...
So I am glad it feels easy now for you, ZoZo, and most sincerely long may it continue! But heads held high for all those others who have to work really hard and still feel they get no where close to brilliant.
I wont be posting much again, as have far too much to do. Nice to meet you all however briefly.
 
I am completely aware that I am very new to diabetes, and I have loads to learn and I am always willing to learn from others who have been dealing with it for many years. I know I have years of difficult times ahead and I will deal with them how I know best.

However, I do refuse to be patronised, and told how I should feel about my son's condition. I'm not 'cold', far from it. Like I said, I am deeply sorry for the loss of these children, it is terrifying, and for everyone close to them who is dealing with that. The death of a child is always a tragedy, however they dies, and of course being diabetes brings it closer to home for us all. Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way. I have lost people in tragic ways that have been close to me.

I would never trivialise diabtetes, for gods sake I am dealing with it every day too, it isn't a competition.
A friend of mine died 4 yrs ago of cystic fibrosis at the age of 30. He also had type 1 diabetes and was literally and rather ironically testing his BG levels as he was dying in hospital. For my friend, diabetes was the least of his worries through his life.
All I'm saying is that sometimes we have to put some perspective on things, its how I stay sane in what sometimes feels like a hopeless situation. We all have our coping mechanisms and I wont apologise if I seem cold, its how I can deal with something that has been forced upon us, and seems grossly unfair.
I dont want to offend anyone, and If I have caused hurt feelings, then that I do apologise for. But we are all entitled to our opinions.
 
I think everyone has made their views and feelings known, so I have decided to close this thread now. Please PM me if you feel you have something to add.
 
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