Terrible terrible jokes!

[everydayupsanddowns]

My child won’t eat fish. What’s a good option to replace it with?

A cat. Cats LOVE fish!

 

[gail2]

An old one
When is a door not a door ?
When its a jar

 

[paultrose]

I see theyve elected a new Pawpe

 

[C&E Guy]

I asked the waiter for an alligator sandwich. I was in a hurry so I said, “Make it snappy”!

How do make a snail go slower?
Take of its shell to make it sluggish.

“I do bird impressions”
“Do you whistle or sing”?
“No. Just eat worms”.

 

[paultrose]

 

[Doughboy]

Guy walks up to the widow at a funeral.
"Is it OK if I say a word?"
"Of course", she says.
Guy steps up to the lectern, and says "Plethora", and goes back to the widow.
"Thank you" she says, "That means a lot"

 

[s'nic]

 

[Barrowman]

 

[s'nic]

 

[Barrowman]

 

[paultrose]

 

[Barrowman]

What do you call a parade of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hare line.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why did the maths book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

 

[s'nic]

 

[Barrowman]

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.

 

[paultrose]